Expect nothing, appreciate everything.
Well that was quite the 24 hours, however I've still started my day with 'it's going to be a great day'.
Mom's had a crap night, in and out of bed every 20 minutes, so I've not slept great either, neither of us had a good day, I'd made an appointment for Alfie at the vets because he was getting worse not better and I honestly didn't think I'd be bringing him back with me, but the vet I saw confirming it's neurological, could even be a cyst in the brain, wanted me to try steroids and give it till tomorrow to see if they make any difference at all. Finger's crossed it does!
I'd walked him twice before the vets, both times well over an hour a time, let him have steak for dinner just in case he wasn't coming back, I do hope the drugs help, I can't bear to watch him pant and shiver and look at me with that vacant look.
Next I need to convince mom to see a doctor, her chest is actually rattling and she's coughed lots in the night. She'll struggle today, she's always worse when she hasn't slept well. The first thing she said to me yesterday was 'are you Bev?', as I was taking Alfie to the vets, I'd warned her he may not be coming back, she said, 'I love you Alfie, see you in heaven', well you can imagine how many tears were shed in our house yesterday.
But on a brighter note, she made me laugh when she said this to me last night as we were sat watching tele;
"And Bev keeps saying. Oh you're bev ain't ya. I'm talking about ya when you're here, I'll have to whisper." 😂
Pure genius, she's still in there somewhere!
Well I can honestly say, I didn't think about my health at all yesterday, actually once I did, when I thought I need to have some veg with my dinner so microwaved some frozen peas. I really need to get an angle on my comfort eating, it's never been this bad ever. Actually I don't know if it's comfort eating, that's such a general term. Of course it's emotional eating, everyone does that to some degree, we all eat food because it makes us feel better in some way at times.
I'm not using food as a way to distract me from my feelings, I'm more than 'FEELING' every emotion going on in my life right now, so it's not that so much. It's more food is delicious and it's one of the pleasureable things in my life. Also I'm greedy so I have this appetite that's too big for the size of my body (or at least the size my body should be).
Yeah I need a new term for it because it's not what is termed 'emotional eating' on the websites, this is what I've just found;
I think I need a new column to the ones above lol,
1) I think about food most of the time, I love it.
2) usually the same as true hunger, I like to eat many different foods as long as they're delicious
3) Is looked forward to
4) It shows itself whatever the emotion, I like food and eating
5) Oh I taste the food, but I am inclined to eat fast with my hands (part of the pleasure)
6) I do stop when I'm full, it just seems to take quite a lot to get me full.
7) I feel satisfied after eating, even when I know I've gone over my points.
So now I know there needs to be another column, Foodie Hunger maybe, can you think of a better column name.
I like eating, I'm thinking what I need to do is work on finding ways to make delicious food for less calories (SP) and work on my portion sizes, bulking out my meals with zero pointed foods and then there's cutting down on the wine is always going to be a constant challenge for me, again I like it, it tastes nice and it chills me out. Mmm, lots for me to think about there and it's distracted me from thinking about my mom and Alfie for ten minutes!
I'm looking forward to seeing all my lovely members today, the topics quite apt for me this week actually so hopefully I too will take something from it.
Here's to a great day, mwah,
luv ya
Love me xx
No comments:
Post a Comment