Dear Body ....

30th May 2011

"Smile more often! Give someone a hug! Praise someone for doing a job well done! These are the little things that can make a big difference in a person's life. Do you notice that they are all free? They are free to give and free to receive. This just gives you another reason to SMILE, hug and praise more!"- Mary Shaw

What a morning, that rains coming down heavy, glad the only plans I have include tidying the living room sorting some stuff. I managed to get the kitchen done yesterday so who know I may even make it as far as my office by lunchtime!

So I went out for lunch, we ended up at Chiquto’s after all and I was very impressed with myself, we shared Sloppy Jose nacho’s for starter, then I ordered bbq and only ate about 1/3 of the ribs because I was full, I left the coleslaw too. Then for dessert they had these little puddings you could order up to 5, I had 3 and left 1 ½ so using my eating out guide I worked it all out and I ended the week with a 13 activity ProPoints in the bank. I normally get weighed this morning but it will have to wait till tomorrow morning now because I’ve got a day off.

I was talking to a friend last night about the power of writing letters, even if they’re never sent. Over the years I’ve done lots of self development workshops and this is one of the exercises that crop up regularly, in the past I’ve written a letter to my father then burned it because once someone is dead the postman can’t deliver. It helps to get all those thoughts out of your head and onto paper, a kind of therapy almost. Another time I wrote a letter to my body! That was very interesting, so why don’t you have a go, if you have the day off you should have a bit of time, especially as its raining.

Letter to your body

Write a letter to your body, which starts: “Dear Body,” this is an opportunity to write a letter to your body telling it whatever you wants to. There is no right way to do this, just say whatever comes to mind.
Reply
Once you’ve done that, let your body reply using her non-dominant hand. If you are left-handed this means using your right and vice versa – if you are right handed use her left.

Start the letter… “Dear X,” (X = your name)

The reason for using your non-dominant hand is that this engages a different part of your brain.


When you’ve finished both letters you can look through what you’ve written and think about what the experience was like. Think about the following;

Was there anything that surprised you?
How did you feel?
What was the tone of your letter to your body?
What was the tone of the reply?

We can become extremely disconnected from our bodies. We see it almost as an object to shape the way we want it, to live up to an ideal that we are sold by the culture we live in.
If you were to describe ‘slim’ women with one-word adjectives, what kind of words would you use? (it can be helpful to write these down).

Below are some examples to start off with.

In some many women’s eyes, being slim means being…
successful
in control
healthy
happy
beautiful
popular
confident
lucky
glamorous
enviable
attractive
fit
elegant
fashionable

Some questions you can ask yourself are:

Have you ever be thinner than you are now?
Have you ever been slim?
Could you tick all those boxes?
However slim you were, was it ever good enough?
Were you ever slim enough?
Toned enough?
Beautiful enough?
How many women do you know who don't have the perfect figure and yet tick many of those boxes?
And how many slim women do you know who don't?

I’m not suggesting that you should stop wanting to lose weight - you don’t have to like your body as it is now. In fact it’s absolutely fine to not like it at all. What I am saying is that confidence and happiness does not come from a body size or from looking any particular way, so beginning to acknowledge that this IS your body is the best place from which to lose weight.

How can we change something that we do not own?

Beginning to connect and own the body we have, to see it for what it is, appreciate it for what it gives us and does for us is one step towards feeling more confident and comfortable in our bodies.

If real confidence came from the size of our bodies, then slim women would all be happy! The truth is that the ‘ideal’ is ever changing and so we have to keep working hard to keep up, not just to be slim but for our bodies to meet the current trend at any given moment.
The size of our bodies can provide us with social acceptance which can make it easier to be out there in the world, but it is not the foundation for true self worth. Losing weight is fine – there is nothing wrong with wanting a slimmer body but it’s helpful to acknowledge the limitations of what it can provide you.
Now there’s some food for thought for a Monday.
I’m off to tidy my house now I’ve done my mind ;)

xx