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Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Most of us spend a lifetime being angry at ourselves for being fat!

21st November 2012
Never let hope elude you; that is life's biggest failure. Bob Zuppke
Easily pleased I am look “21-11-12”, today’s date reads the same read forwards or backwards ‘-)
I had a delicious slice of cake last night, not very often I partake in a piece of cake, I didn’t even share it with my mom.  Chris on of my members had made the Christmas cake from out of the Weight Watchers December magazine and I have to say it was to die for, and quite a large chunk for 5pp, I’d definitely be happy with that over Christmas for sure.
So I’ve had about ten days where I’ve been full on ‘in the zone’, and it was fab, the last two days I’ve veered a little, not crazily, but I have gone over my ProPoints allowance, I have realised the amount of Filling and Healthy foods have gone down over the last few days so I will rectify that situation and see if it helps.  It could of course also be down to hormones, the weather, any number of reasons but I can’t do anything about the weather, nor hormones really I suppose so I will focus on the thing I do have control of and that is consuming more F&H foods. 
The other new thing I’m having to contend with is the different foods I’m buying to try and tempt mom to eat, this is difficult.  Things like sandwich fillers and quiche that are high in ProPoints, it’s ok for mom because she’s not eating much but I’m seeing them every time I open the fridge and I need to get over the urge to eat them, I love the cheese savoury sandwich filler from Asda but it’s 21pp a tub! And it’s not a very large tub either.  I will rearrange the fridge today so it’s not the first thing I see, this is difficult though because I want it to be the first thing mom sees to tempt her so I can’t hide it.  Therefore I am going to have to resist, have a shelf above with equally tempting food for me, that I enjoy, that are less ProPoints. 
I have so many members stay focussed for the first few weeks on the plan then it starts to get a little difficult for whatever reason, could be something similar to mine above, could be a night out throws them off, or someone in their house is ill.  They fall off the plan for a few days, and feel guilty for falling off their diets, and instead of realising they did what they could at the time, instead of acknowledging that this is a learning curve and it won’t always be plain sailing – they get angry at themselves and feel guilty.  Then to punish themselves, because guilt always seeks punishment, (this is why I don’t do guilt – it’s a none productive emotion!) they go and stuff themselves with all the food that they know isn’t any good for them or their bodies!
What they would be better of doing, (I nearly said SHOULD then, and realised that’s a dreadful word – it’s laced with guilt!)  or what they could have done was acknowledge that for those few weeks they followed the plan they were taking care of their bodies and actually felt good about it, that would be better for them than laying a guilt trip on themselves for not changing 100% immediately.  By doing this we can all start to break they cycle of the yo-yo dieting habit.
There’s another possibility though, one most of us won’t like to think about and that is that overeating can mean a need for protection.  When you feel insecure or frightened, you pad yourself with a layer of safety.  CRAZY I hear you cry!   That was my initial reaction I have to admit but bare with me.  Here is a line copied verbatim from a book
“Weight has nothing to do with food.  Most of you spend a lifetime being angry at yourselves for being fat.  What a waste of energy.  Instead, realise there is something going on in your life that is making you feel unsafe and insecure.  It could be your work, your spouse, your sexuality, or your life in general.” (Louise Hay)
So you’re either sitting there now thinking ‘what a load of cobblers” or you’re starting to think, “mmm there may be something in that”.
I know when I was first presented with this idea I though it was rubbish, I didn’t feel ‘insecure’, I’m a confident person!  Mmm, now I realise she may have a point, at that time I was in a job I didn’t feel capable of doing, I was sure that at anytime they’d realise I was a fraud and every time the MD walked in my office my stomach turned.  That was when I gained 3 stone in a year!  Then a few years ago something happened that put my job in jeopardy, I gained weight then not a lot but I just lost control of my eating.  And finally when mom had her mini stroke earlier in the year my eating habits went a bit crazy and I felt like I couldn’t get back on track, of course that was because I was concerned about her and I didn’t have control over that situation.  So I think if you realise that Louise Hay isn’t trying to say you’re unhappy or weak or pathetic (as I read it initially) that it could just be something in your life you haven’t got control over and need to address or in my case with mom just acknowledge because there really was nothing I could do then it may help you with your weight issue.
Don’t get me wrong that’s not the only reason people have weight problems, there are others for example just overeating because it’s there and it’s nice, or eating foods that aren’t the best choice through lack of nutritional knowledge, but it is a reason you may want to look into if you’re struggling to stay on track long term. Xx
Remember anything I say on here is usually because it’s had an effect on me personally, I read lots and take from the books what helps me, I’m just condensing it for you into a little snippet to get you thinking.
Have a fabulous day, and even if you have to ask yourself a few truthful painful questions it’s good because ultimately it will help you to take care of YOU? xx
 Repeat after me;
 

 

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