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Monday, 25 July 2011

It only takes a minute...

25th July 2011
Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. Warren Buffet
What a marvellous Monday morning, it’s my idea of a perfect morning out there today, the sky looks amazing, not a soul to be seen and Alfie behaving on the park, even if his latest pastime is chasing seagulls, he’ll never catch on so I can rest in that knowledge.  Here’s a minute of what it’s like to be over the park on a beautiful day and have it all to yourself, I tend to just stand and watch the sky – it’s kind of meditative.   Play the video and just sit and gaze, empty your mind – it’s only a minute.

The weekend seems to have flown by even though I did absolutely nothing yesterday besides watch a lot of tv and eat a few more ProPoints that I should so I’m hoping for a stay the same on the scales this morning.   On a positive I’m still off the wine, even ordered diet coke when my mate ordered a glass of shiraz on Saturday in London, I just didn’t see the point of wasting 6pp on a drink when I was planning on walking the afternoon around London.

I was just reading a blog by Sara Cox, I like to listen to her a lot on the radio and in this blog she’s talking about the 9 things you should never say to your kids and she’d read it in someone elses article and it got me to thinking how did these things being said to us when we were kids really affect us now?  The first one “Leave me alone” (or “I’m busy”), apparently makes your kids think you there’s no point in talking to you because you’re always brushing them off”, instead apparently you should say something like, “Mom has to finish this one thing, then when I’m done, we’ll go outside”.  Mmm, do I agree?  I dunno, I’m not a mom but I did once have my 5 year old nephew live with me for a while when his mom was struggling and my brother was abroad so I’ve had a mini insight into it, although for a month it’s a novelty I suppose, just the same as helping to entertain my mates kids for a few hours on a Friday is too.  It’s easy to give kids your undivided attention when you know you’re giving them back at some stage, it’s not so easy when you’ve got that much to do you don’t know which way to turn.  I don’t doubt my mom used to say “I’m busy”, a lot but I don’t think it had a lasting effect, nor do I remember thinking she hadn’t got time for me.

However, the "Why Can't You Be More Like Your Sister?" or brother or whoever line, now that one I agree with, how many of you have felt resentful of a sibling or friend because of a comment like that, or just felt that you weren’t good enough?  Nobody needs to be like anyone other than themselves and if we had all been told that when we were kids, some of us might not be so screwed up, one of my favourite sayings is, “You’re perfect to be you”, yes always tell your kids they are perfect as they are, as long as they’re encouraged to do their best then they’ll be just fine, we will too, so remember just do your best and you’ll be good enough.

And the last one that caught my eye was, “Don’t cry”, WHY NOT!  If we cried more often, or expressed our emotions instead of squashing them down with a doughnut we wouldn’t be the nation of comfort eaters we are.  How many of you remember, “don’t be such a big baby”?  WHY NOT!  Seriously, what’s wrong with being emotional, what’s wrong with crying it’s only the opposite of laughing and we all do that?  Unfortunately people are afraid of showing negative emotions because we were taught not to, it’s okay to be angry, as long as you express it in the right way, it’s fine to say to someone, “I’m angry with you because…”, it’s not ok to say I’m angry with you and punch them!  Of course you want to protect your child from having negative feelings or being upset but it’s part of being human, so next time they cry, or get afraid, explain to them that it’s ok to be sad or scared.  Wouldn’t it be great if when you come home from work furious at your boss instead of walking to find comfort in the fridge your other half say’s, “You look angry, wanna talk about it”, or if you picked up the phone to have a chat about it with a friend.   Think of the ProPoints you’d save!

Today, enjoy the sunshine, even if it is only through the office window and decide to express your feeling no matter what, (in an adult way of course) ;D

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