Be strong my tribe x

Tuesday 5th November 2019
She's the type of flower that can still grow after a forest fire.

Survived the struggles yesterday more or less lol, I won't lie I did have a malted milk biscuit off mom and a packet of Aldi crisps, but other than that, I ate 2 pieces of fruit (seriously good for me) and had lots of veggies on my dinner plus of course lots of water.  Success in the none eating side of life included getting mom to the dentist, she has an abscess where her crown broke, so antibiotics and a return visit later in the month to have the rest of the tooth removed.  We also we to bed around 7 and despite her having a couple of conversations with Alfie and going to the toilet a few times, she's had a good night, which of course means I've caught up on some sleep, but ma'an the dreams I'm having, seriously, they make me wanna get up as they're exhausting.   Oh and I did my stock take too, got mom to come sit and supervise to try and keep her mind active a little, then she started cutting up the plastic ties so she was involved.  Need to find more ways to get her involved, or maybe see how she responds to having visitors, the thing with visitors though is they have to come to see her not me, as she gets cranky if the attention isn't on her!  I have a camera in the living room to keep my eye on mom if she's home alone which isn't that often now, but yesterday when we went to the dentist out of curiousity I had a look to see what Alfie does when he's alone.  It made my heart crack a little, he sits in the middle of the living room staring at air vent waiting to hear us returning ;( He's never really been left alone has he so doesn't know what to do when he is.  He's no spring chicken himself, he'll be 10 in January but he's so patient with mom and very protective of her, if I go to love her up he barks because he thinks I'm going to do something else lol.

Now I have some pork loin in the fridge and a member told me about how her mom used to cook them in the oven covered in gravy and stuffing, oh my that sounds to die for I have to say, so I may need to get me some stuffing to make it at some point this week, I'm loving gravy at the minute, proper dinners, I'd put some roast onions with them too.  I want some Brain's faggots too, I don't think Aldi sell them so will nip in somewhere to get some, I was in, out and back home from Aldi for my shop on Sunday in 45 minutes, ninja shopping right there, mom seemed good before I went so I said will you be okay, etc, I rang my sister to tell her I was going and that I'd keep watching mom on the camera to make sure she was ok and if she wasn't I'd call her, I don't want her to completely lose her independence until it's absolutely necessary.  Her panic attacks have lessened over the last week which is great, she's obviously never going to be 100% but I'm not digging her grave or planning her funeral just yet, we'll keep her going as long as I can get a laugh out of her!

Oh and for those liking the idea of the stuffing, Paxo is 2SP for 50g cooked weight and Brain's faggots are 5SP for 2, nom nom.  Mmm, but I have lots of rice too, so maybe today I'll have egg fried rice for lunch, quick and easy, trying to remember what else I bought, oh yes I treated me and Alfie to steak, he obviously gets a cheap piece, I also realised I may as well only ever buy chicken thighs because of the dinners I made on Sunday, he ate all my chicken anyways!   Everyone raves about Aldi steak, my brother included so I thought I'd have a try for myself.  Oh yeah I got to try Morrisons baked beans too (thanks Tina) and they're sound, but don't think they seemed any better than the Aldi ones, I've bought their basic ones to try next, they're only 22p a can as opposed to 30p for their other ones.  I'm loving this money saving, it makes me realise how much I've wasted over time.  Don't get me wrong though there are some things you can't change, mom was not impressed with either the rip off Cheerios or Kraves, she wants the originals lol, to be honest I think if I'd but the Aldi cheerio's in a bowl she may not have noticed so much, I tested both and there was a slight difference but not much, but the chocolate crave things yeah you can tell the difference, they're smaller and as mom kept saying, 'pah you can't even see the chocolate!'  I wasn't impressed by their ready salted crisps either but swings and roundabouts as they say, the shops great because you don't have so much choice so aren't tempted.

Well that's enough from me, I need to go get ready for work and yes mom didn't wake me up till 5 the last time so it was time for my alarm anyway, I'm ready to SURVIVE today's STRUGGLES, are you?  We are strong, we aren't fragile like flowers, we're fragile like bombs, let's BOOM today ;)

mwah, luv ya


Love me xx