Some
will, Some won't, So What. Next!
I think
I’m packed, well 90% sorted anyway and anything I haven’t got when I get there,
I’m sure I can buy. I haven’t packed a
case like that for years, normally we go for a week in this country and I just
grab all my scruffs in a bin bag – sorted! So yesterday afternoon was quite amusing to
say the least.
There’s a
certain perfect-life daydream so many people have that may go like this: You’re
a comfortable size 10, dressed like an off-duty model in skinny jeans, ballet
flats and a white T-shirt. And underneath that, you’re wearing a barely there bra
that wouldn't even begin to hold up your usual DD cup. In short, YOU have your
ideal body. Don't most people think they'd be happier thinner? Don't you? Even if
it's not losing a lot of weight - 5lb, 7lb... hell, maybe even a stone, don't we
all dream of being able to wear a skinny black dress without a body woe? When I used to daydream my perfect body I was always taller - Weight Watchers couldn't sort that for me unfortunately!
Like so
many women, in the past I have regularly gone low cal, low carb, low sugar, low
everything. But however much weight I lost, it never lasted. Since my teens,
I've ranged repeatedly from a size 20 to a skinny size 8. I used to blame greed and lack of self
control but finally I got it under control and am now a happy size 12, who occasionally
gains a few pounds – I plan to do that in New York, and I’m not worried because
I know I can get it off again.
For some
(not all) still struggling to get to that ‘happy weight’ I now believe
something more complicated could be to blame – they have a fear of being thin. But
isn't that ridiculous? How can someone be afraid of the very thing they
fantasise about? Ursula James, a clinical hypnotist and visiting fellow at
Oxford University Medical School (ursulajames.com), explains the reasons for personal
body sabotage. 'Losing weight is the first step in becoming the person you've
always dreamed of being, and for a lot of people this can be scary,' she says.
Her theory goes that if you were to drop those additional pounds for good, you
think you should then become the woman you want - but am secretly afraid - to
be. The successful limelight-
loving, go-getter, who is so comfortable in herself she can wear that bikini
with pride (terrifying), who puts herself forward for those high-profile jobs
(what if I fail?) and who enjoys the attention that comes from having a newly
acquired enviable figure (gulp). Nothing would be holding you back from your
perfect life. And if you can’t blame your weight when you didn't achieve it,
what exactly could you blame?
Apparently you might be using your weight as a shield against intimacy, a
weapon against change and armour against being hurt. If you lose the weight, you have no more excuses
for not being a success and no more reasons not to be happy. Makes sense really I suppose and a fear of
being slim is in fact a common yet unrecognised obstacle for many women. I’ve met a lot of women who blame anything
that goes wrong on their weight, and dreamt of how everything would get better
once they shed it (hell I’ve been one of them) – love life, career, family
life, even finances. It's easier to fail
in your weight-loss goals than fail to live up to your own ideals.
Fear of change can often be at the root of the problem. Fear can prevent you losing weight in the first place or appear once you've started shedding the pounds, causing you to regain it. You could be scared you're going to put on all the weight you've lost, so you don't even try. Once you've slimmed, you're not the only one who may expect more of yourself – others might, too.
Fear of change can often be at the root of the problem. Fear can prevent you losing weight in the first place or appear once you've started shedding the pounds, causing you to regain it. You could be scared you're going to put on all the weight you've lost, so you don't even try. Once you've slimmed, you're not the only one who may expect more of yourself – others might, too.
But
if a fear of being slim is deep-set and hidden how can you tell if it's stopping
your efforts? 'When you have repeatedly attempted to lose weight but failed,
and if you find yourself sabotaging your efforts, there may be fear involved, Another possible pointer is that you lose some
weight but then level off, and don't know why you can't make it to your goal
weight (assuming it's a realistic one).
You could use this exercise to help figure out your weight-loss fears. Write down as many completions as you can to the sentence, "I am afraid to be thin because..."' While the first few responses are likely to be superficial and/or obvious, as you go on, you'll get deeper answers, which will give you more valuable information on how to heal or manage your concerns.
You could use this exercise to help figure out your weight-loss fears. Write down as many completions as you can to the sentence, "I am afraid to be thin because..."' While the first few responses are likely to be superficial and/or obvious, as you go on, you'll get deeper answers, which will give you more valuable information on how to heal or manage your concerns.
Why
not spend some time thinking about who and what you might become if you drop
those pounds the realise you can do those things now; work on building your confidence;
you don’t have to lose weight to be great.
I’m
not the lightest I’ve ever been but I am the happiest, I stopped waiting for
the perfect body I had in my mind and started to love the one I’d got – try it
you might like it. These days I’m more
inclined to take care of my body because I love it and because of that I manage
to keep my weight stable-ish! ;-)
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