Grumpy bitch here....

Saturday14th October 2023

I got a lot done yesterday but ma'an did I pay for it, I was in so much pain for the rest of the day but at least I had a really clean house.  I get so frustrated not being able to do the things I want to do, I mean bloomin hell, I just want to clean my damn house, mop floors, change bedding - basic stuff, I'm 53 not 93 fgs.  Can you feel my arggghhhhhhh, himself was very good with me last night, in the end he just said, 'go to sleep', cos he'd had enough of my grump, I was trying not to be a pain but I couldn't stop myself, plus some of the stuff I was trying to say was justified but Friday night when he's shattered too is not the time for me to address those points!  

On a positive we had a delicious dinner and all ate it together even if I was struggling not to be a full on miserable bitch, combination of pain and a teenager who's a lazy git and doesn't listen and learn or clean his room when asked!  If it's not done by the time he goes to school Monday, I shall be going in myself and I know he won't like that, but he's been warned enough times.

Our dinner was lamb and spinach curry, I found the curries in the fridge, thought I only had 2 but I'd got a third one which was a different curry so I mixed them all together in a pan threw in spinach and himself thought I'd cooked it from scratch, which I had but not that day.  I put some garlic powder on my butternut squash and cooked in actifry.  Oh and those na'an breads from Aldi are amazing, I'm not a huge fan of na'an breads usually because they can be thick and stodgy but not these, they are thin and light and lush, they do plain ones too and at £1.49 for two, bargain. 

  

 I fell asleep on the sofa exhausted but then when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep, you couldn't make it up, woke up every hour from 1ish, couldn't look at the time on my watch because I don't have it do I, I didn't want to keep stretching for my phone as didn't want to disturb him any more than I already was, neither of us slept well.

Here's to making today less grumpy, I don't feel in as much pain, he's just come down so I'll go get ready for work, he's just gone in loo and said 'hve you broke this', yeah I pulled the toilet roll holder of the door this morning, well I didn't it fell off, but it'll give him something to do won't it. 

Mwah, love ya 

Love me 

 

I'm STARVING! But only in my head....

Friday 13th October 2023 

Oh I struggled not to eat my own head yesterday!  I started my day with porridge, I did it in the microwave and it comes out completely different as you can see by the photos.  The one one the right hs been done on the hob using water, the left in microwave using milk.  Now I used whole milk which is deliious but makes it a higher 380 calorie start to the day the one on right made with water and has milk over it and is only 188 calories.  If I'm honest, I'd like to try making it on the hob with the whole milk to see the difference but the original in a pan with milk takes me back to my childhood and I cook it in a milk pan so the pan washes easily and doesn't take no longer than cooking it in the microwave, actually it's quicker if I'm cooking 2 bowls.  I'm taking this porridge lark a little too seriously ain't I?1

 

Anyway, it kept me going easily till I got home and had dinner at one ish, I had the leftover meal from the night before, it didn't reheat well, it was delicious when first made, it was just food yesterday. 

Then I spent the whole afternoon wanting something nice for my tea, I was gonna have a KFC but talked myself out of that because it's no good for me and it's not cheap.  I was gonna stop at FarmFoods and get chicken wings but again loads of calories on what should be a sensible eating day because it's not the weekend and I don't have to think about the rest of them.  Then I decided I fancied egg and chips and I made them in the actifry, the don't look the best I guess but they tasted bloody lush, I have to confess to two slies of bread too, at least they were the M&S wheat and white slices plus Flora light.  That bread is delicious and cheap too at 75p!

 

Thankfully I was sated by the time I'd eaten it and didn't need any more food. I watched the night before's episode of Big Brother (I know, I'm one of those saddos) then went to bed and slept well until the rain women me up about two then regularly until I gave up and got up just before six, I do not like loud rain :) 

Today, I'm on a deep clean session in the house, I took the shower curtains down yesterday to wash and I've just realised Aryn's just gone to have a shower and will he put them back up or not, if he does will he do it properly.  God forbid he actually communicate with me in a morning and ask me what he should do because I would've said have a shower without them up as it's a wet room, it'll be fine!  Deep sigh...  

Yes, big cleaning session for me today as Aryn wants to go to the gym later so I have nothing else I have to do today.  I fancy a curry night I think, I bought a couple of huge naan breads from Aldi, not something I usually buy but they looked really good, garlic and coriander, £1.49 - I mean look at them...

They are a decent size, I'm curious to eat them.  

Oh Minnie has just fell off the coffee table lol, she rolls around too close to the edge lol!

So back to the curry, there is leftover lamb curry in the freezer I'll get out I think, not enough for three but I can do something else with it, I might go get those chicken wings so we can have like a Friday fakeaway buffet, ma'an I could eat that now if I'm honest, I've woke up hungry.  

It's the weather!  I blame the drop in temperature - it's very common to feel hungrier at this time of year and there are very good reasons as to why. The colder weather leads to a drop in our body temperature, which means our appetites get stimulated as a result. This is because eating helps to generate internal heat, subsequently leading to a rise in body temperature.

We can't use this as an excuse to overeat though, we need to put warmer clothes on says me who's sat here in a tshirt with nothing on my feet on a tile floor - me a muppet, I won't have it said! 

Right so did he shower with or without the shower curtain, he's just come out, I'll go check.....

Without!  I won't lie, I'd have been amazed if he'd tried to put them back up.  

I'm going to make me another cuppa, I don't think I want porridge today, not sure what I do want but it's not that, is it wrong to have a jacket potato for breakfast?  Asking for a friend...

Here's to surviving Friday, bed stripping and bathroom cleaning for me - rock and roll baby, rock and roll.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Let's have a great day...

Thursday 12th October 2023

A good day had yesterday, I didn't have to rush about as much as I thought thankfully.  Started with our huddle, they're putting our rent up so that was a bit of a blow, but what can you do!  Anyway after that I took his car in then went to the gym, I only managed half hour cardio as my pain kicked in pretty bad and I've learned not to push it as I do't want to have a setback.

I thought I'd got the dentist but the date had been changed to November, thankfully I gave them a call to check so didn't waste a drive, I managed to drop my fitbit off at a DHL place across from gym so again didn't have to go out of my way.  All of this saved time.  

Foodwise, we started our day with porridge and banana, his lordship has asked if I can make his with milk, so I might but only if he doesn't drink loads throughout the day too, too much of anything isn't good.  We did weigh him though and thankfully he's gained a little weight this year, well he weighs the same as he did when we came back from Ireland after Christmas but he'd lost that gain by May but thankfully it's gone back on, he's 6 foot now, he needs a few pounds on him, but healthy pounds from eating good food from gaining from consuming crap. 

Dinner was delicious and one I will most definitely cook again.  Chicken Orzo Primavera With Toasted Pine Nuts | Gousto  Yeah I really, really enjoyed this and it was easy too.

Here's the recipe to make it easier, you don't need the second lemon for garnish if you want to save a bit of cash.  The same with the pine nuts, you could omit them, I love them but Aryn doesn't like crunchy stuff on top of his meals :)  It's delicious either way.

Garnish with a lemon wedge or not and enjoy!  I loved it, I always know when I really, really enjoy a meal and that's when I want to go and eat more or I want to make it again straight away, Aryn ate double portion, I put the fourth portion in a tub in the fridge.  How is that boy so damn slip eating double dinners - it's not fair is it ;)

I watched a lovely movie Flora and Son, well I thought it was lovely and was in bed by 8, asleep by half past and awake by 5am.  My sleeps good but I really dream these days, full story dreams, thankfully not disturbing ones.

Oh I did a little Yoga yesterday morning too, to get ready for doing 20 minutes a day in November for Mind the cats gonna cause trouble there, she thinks it's a game for her to play and wants to claw my mat!  

Looking forward to today, busy huddle day Thursdays, got a food shop delivery coming too, well I say food, it's most the other stuff you have to have like washing stuff, costs loads but don't taste good!  Dinner is the last of the Gousto meals, it looks tasty and only takes 10 minutes which is perfect for a busy day.

Links you might want to use; 

If you fancy trying it, get 65% off your first box and 20% off for 2 months http://www.gousto.co.uk/raf/?promo_code=BEVER43868435...

If you fancy donating a quid to my charity yoga challenge here's the link https://www.facebook.com/donate/1204028164321355/ 

Let's have a great day shall we?  

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

How can it be Wednesday already!

Wednesday 11th October 2023

I skipped breakfast yesterday morning because I ran out of time once Aryn had stole my shower time!  I did stop at Aldi on way home from huddle and get me a bag of pears and some bananas so I had a pear in the car.  I then made this as soon as I got in...

It was delicious, the gammon was 2 for £1.99 in Aldi, the jacket potatoes were from Lidl's Albert Bartlett Rooster, they were excellent, really creamy, I only put some flora light on it but it didn't need much, normally I'll overload which is why I don't eat jackets!  The cauliflower cheese was one I'd made previously and frozen.  I enjoyed the spud so much I had one for my tea too with just the flora light.

Huddles were great, love it when everyone (including Elle & I) is taking onboard what you're saying, we all know weight loss isn't easy but it's truly important to enjoy the journey and be realistic in your expectations!  Losing a stone in a day isn't realistic!  We'd all like that but it's not happening.

I've got another busy day, huddle first thing, then I've got to take his car to Cannock, I have the dentist this afternoon and somewhere in-between I want to fit in a gym workout!   

Oh, so they sent me a replacement fitbit yesterday and guess what - it didn't work!  Every time I tried to turn it on, I got a red cross!  Well the farce that then followed via 'chat' was ridiculous, having to take a photo of the fitbit with the case number handwritten, oh just bonkers and I now have to return this one before they'll send me another, so that's the entire month of October I'm looking at not having a fitbit - ridiculous when you pay the price they cost.

I did have a nice treat though, I've always bitten my nails, quite badly actually, but I stopped biting them about a year ago but every time they grow, they'd break and I get frustrated because I'd have to start again!  Well I've started having them painted at Glamazon in Ashmore Park and I'm so pleased with how healthy they are after a month, yesterday I went for a green colour after being cautious and having light colours the first couple of times, they're all a sensible length now and the cuticles are in a good healthy condition, I'm thrilled I won't lie because I never thought I'd have nice nails.  She even asked if she could take a photo to put on Facebook, how cool is that, someone who's had vile nails for 5 decades to be asked to model their nails!  Thrilled I am, the photos not there yet, but I'm sure it will be soon. 

Right time to get moving, although I was up at 5 so I have plenty of time, I might do a little yoga, I want to put together a 20 minute routine ready for my November challenge Facebook I want it to be about stretching my body and strengthening it too would be good, 20 minutes of zoning out of life and focusing on my body.  I've raised £43 of £150, so if you can spare a quid, here's the link Facebook

Here's to a great day, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Ready for the day...

Tuesday 10th October 2023

Grr, family life, I was just about to have my shower when boy wonder comes down 45 minutes earlier than he normally does and pinches it off me!  Instead I'm sat here with my cuppa waiting my turn!

Yesterday, he wasn't well enough to go to school again so maybe he's feeling well enough today, he usually has the shower first to try and get himself ready but it hasn't been working up to now.  He went back to bed yesterday.

I went to the gym where I only just got a space on the car park, I've never been that early, it was okay inside, they must have mostly been in classes, whereas I went in the gym where I'm building up on what I'm doing.  If I was rich, I'd have a PT but I'm not so I'm winging it :) plus I'm having to listen to my body, I don't want to make it any worse.  I was pleased though, I did a mile on the rower and the treadmill, I know it's in km but I always end up working out the miles as I'm old school.  Then after my weights I did 3 mile on the recumbent bike.  

This morning, my left arm and shoulders a bit sore but I'm guessing / hoping it's just muscle ache, same as the legs and back as I walked down the stairs first thing, walking and sounding like Frankenstein! 

The rest of my day consistent of boring housework, gave the kitchen a good sort and tidy, I need to do the beds this week at some point.  

It's been a while since I had a Gousto, but they offered a 30% discount for my first box and 20% for the rest of the month, so I couldn't resist and this one was really tasty! The recipe link is here https://www.gousto.co.uk/.../crispy-tofu-with-yellow-thai...

If you're yet to try, here’s my link to try Gousto! Use it to get 65% off your first box, PLUS 20% off all other boxes in your first two months. https://gousto.co.uk/raf?promo_code=BEVER43868435...

Yesterday turned into meat free Monday and it was delicious, I'd definitely have this again, although the best bit was the tofu which was so simple, cornflour and soy sauce, marinated for a few minutes and fried, bloody lush.

I watched the first episode of Big Brother, I used to love it when it first started not sure if I still will but I'll give it a go, I'm enjoying Beckham more, I'm on the last episode and I can't believe how crazy people can be where football is concerned but it's a very, interesting watch.

Yay, he's out the shower, I can go get clean and ready for work, on the menu today is one of these, 

I've also got a cauliflower cheese that's been defrosted and needs cooking, could have that for lunch, there's jacket spuds to be used too.  Aryn was poorly the last time I had a Gousto box delivered which means he's not got the appetite he usually has. 

Okay, I'm off, tea has been drunk, bathrooms clear, I'm ready to sooth my muscles with a shower and get ready for the day ahead.

Here's to having a good one!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Let's get this day started!

 Monday 9th October 2023

We've had a good weekend, lots of chilling and enjoying ourselves, Saturday night we had a few over the pub with the neighbours before getting chippy and eating it in their garden where we continued to drink and chat till gone 1am, which meant we relaxed Sunday.  I, of course woke up at my usual 5am, but thankfully after feeding the cats and going to the loo I managed to go back to sleep till half eight.

The only thing I did yesterday was watch tele, cook and eat, we had sausage sarnie for breakfast and I made a Gousto meal for dinner, no photo I'm afraid, I did even think to.  

mine wasn't presented this well!

Here's the recipe link if it'll work Lamb Tortilla Samosas With Mango Mayo | Gousto, they were okay, I felt they needed a little more flavour in the filling and lamb mince is very oily, a little too much I think.

I have a poorly boy on my hands, he's been that way since last Wednesday, started with we thought was a stomach bug, but then turned into a full blown virus with sore throat, cold and generally feeling rotten!  I'm hoping he's a little better today but I don't hold out much hope as he was still no better when he went to bed.

Aryn's not eaten much at all, although thanks to the lovely Liz, he had been nibbling on a bread pudding that she made for me on Saturday, oh my days, it was delicious!  

We watched the rest of Brassic, another brilliant series, never enough episodes, it could be a weekly thing for me, I love it. 

Usual Monday morning ahead for me, plan the huddle chat for the week and then I'm going to go to the gym to work out and burn off some calories!  It won't burn off the kebab I had Saturday, but it will help!  

Oh speaking of exercise, when I woke up yesterday at half eight, I picked my phone up and whilst scrolling through my Facebook notifications, an advert came up in my newsfeed to do 20 minutes of yoga a day throughout November for the charity Mind and I thought why not!  Facebook there's the link if you can spare a quid or two, it all helps!  Now I've got to work out a 20 minute routine that I can do with a bad back, bad knee and sciatica - I'm sure I can! 

I'm looking forward to my week ahead, will look on Youtube for some yoga ideas, making a little time for me to calm my mind, I'm also looking forward to the gym (who am I!)

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

SATurday, I'll try not to spend it all on my backside!

Saturday 7th October 2023

I saw this yesterday and thought yes that's me I want a FIT body not a FAT body, I don't mind being 'overweight' according to the BMI charts, I just want to be healthier than I have been and I'm working on that.

I'm never gonna be skinny again because I don't want to be, I love eating, I love food, I love cooking and feeding my family and I love drinking red wine with those meals, I also love drinking a bottle of prosecco in the pub with himself on a Friday or Saturday night, then falling asleep together on the settee whilst watching the tele!  I like that life a lot.

I've realised, I've got maintenance sussed, yes I've lost 20lb but I lose a couple, gain a pound so I need to up the exercise, especially as I'm enjoying it.  I went for my 12 week MOT yesterday with the joint pain management course and everything was improved, I'd lost a little weight, my bmi had come down, my blood pressure had improved, my resting heart rate had come down, I'd even grown 1/2cm, I'm guessing because I'm standing straighter as my pains not as bad.  We also did a test where we had to sit in a chair with arms, stand and walk a couple of metres, turn, walk back and sit back down.  When we did that the first week, I said, I wouldn't have any issues doing that because it was standing for 5 mins or more or walking for over 5 mins that caused my pain.  I did it in about eleven and a half seconds which was good I thought, yesterday we did the same test but the chair had no arms, I did it in just over 4 seconds!  Turns out I wasn't as fit the first time as I thought!  

Now I hadn't lost loads of weight since I started, about 3lb but I've definitely toned up and that's what I'm more interested in, the numbers on the scales don't tell the complete story do they, look at this...

I'd rather build up that muscle for sure.  That first week I couldn't stand to do the exercises and had to sit and do bicep curls with no weights, now I'm using the machines, upper body machines, I'm on about 25kg,  lower body varies but the leg press I'm doing 50-60kg which is all helping build those muscles to protect those joints and that's what I care about.

I'm enjoying it too, that's the main thing, it's time out, turning off from every day life and not sitting in front of the tele.

I won't be going today thought, the weekends are all about spending time together.  I'll go enjoy the huddle first, then we'll probably just chill today.  I've got a Gousto box coming, I'm thinking we'll have lamb tortilla samosas with mango mayo for dinner, that sounds a bit tasty!  The boys can have the extra portion split so they have plenty and mines 744 calories apparently.

Here's to a great day, I'm not hungry this morning so I won't have porridge, might take a banana with me, still full from last night. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

No rushing today

Friday 6th October 2023

Friday, I don't have to turn my alarm on but the wonderful cat that is Minnie got in my room last night so I couldn't shut my door, which in turn meant at 4.45am this morning I had two cats in my bedroom, Minnie who was knocking things off the window sill onto the floor and Coco who was purring and doing his best to get me to stroke him and wake up and give up so he got fed.  He's now sat next to me on the sofa, still purring loudly because I gave up and got up at 5am!  No lying in here!

Well yesterday was a good work day, the huddles were lovely as always, got to catch up with our member which is always good.  I realised sadly that I've lost my watch :( I've sent my fitbit back because it's broke so I'd put on my fancy watch.  Wednesday when I went to the gym, I had a shower afterwards, I'd realised I needed to take my watch off because unlike the fitbit, it's not waterproof, so I threw it in my bag and locked the locker.  It wasn't until yesterday lunchtime, I realised it wasn't on my wrist, I'm guessing I dropped it as I was getting dressed and sorting myself out at the gym.  It hasn't been handed in, I an hope it'll turn up in the house but I've looked at places it might have been and no luck.  It wasn't a cheap watch either, I bought it with a bonus I'd had when I was a WW leader after winning an award, so it had sentimental value too.  I wouldn't want it replaced because I rarely wear it now I have a Fitbit, but it's still sad, it's just stuff though isn't it.  

Foodwise, I survived!  I started my day with porridge

I’ve not had any in a long time! Cooked 40g in 300ml of water on hob, simmered for 5 mins and topped with 50ml of whole milk and I really enjoyed it, it was warming, the milk made it a little sweeter, and for 182 calories I know it’ll keep me satisfied all morning, plus it makes me feel good inside knowing it’s good for me. Cheap too, I paid £4 for 2kg of quakers which is 50 portions! If my maths is right that’s 8p a portion plus the milk I’m guessing under 10p a portion. Gonna try and make it my daily breakfast, get into a food routine! Oh and I turned down a free Greggs!

That porridge kept me going till after 1pm, when I made us salmon (using the freezer stuff from the defrost incident), baby potatoes and sprouts.  I should've had it later as it was too much for lunchtime.  However, realising I'd lost my watch triggered my 'sod it' mode  and I had 2 celebrations (98 calories), then when I got to work I had a packet of strawberry mini cream cookies (162 calories), then Elle turned up with a packet of tomato snaps that I also ate (105 calories), then I felt stuffed to brim and felt a bit sick!  

When I got home I wasn't overly hungry but when Aryn said he still was, I cooked some bacon, he had his with plain rice (his belly still ain't right) and a bit of spinach, I had a couple of slices on a sarnie with a tomato, blooming lush for 360 calories.

I could eat that as a regular meal for sure, easily be a daily breakfast but instead I shall have my porridge again because the oats are good for me. Oats are a great source of fibre, a carbohydrate that the body cannot digest. Because fibre slows down digestion, you won't feel as hungry for a longer period.  Plus they're a cheap meal which is a very good thing these days when you see your supermarket bill!

I finished my day on minus 131 calories, that could've been a hell of a lot worse, the day before -138, so for two days with the drama of the defrosted freezer and the loss of my watch, I think I managed to control my drama queen eating habits quite well!

I've got my 12 week MOT follow up today from my joint management course so I can't exercise before, so I'll use the time to do a bit of cooking and have a good clear up in the house.  

I'm still thinking chicken and bacon pasta bake, it's an easy way to use up the chicken and the bacon I have defrosted from the freezer fiasco, it can also be microwaved if needed and the leftovers frozen.  Yeah I've got a can of chicken soup I can use as the sauce too, a good cheat to make it a very easy meal.  I might put the chicken breasts in the slow cooker and they shred them, mmm nice.  Sorted, that's dinner solved.

For now, I'll go make me another cuppa and watch a bit of GMB before I start my day.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Could've been worse!

Thursday 5th October 2023

What a day yesterday was, I could've easily have gone completely off track but I contained it a little!  Aryn got up poorly so he went back to bed, then I went to work and after that picked my car up before going to the gym where I enjoyed a good 90 minutes taking my time doing cardio and weights, definitely building up.  

Then I got home, I'd missed my butcher delivery, thankfully he'd left it in porch and I wasn't far away but when I went to put it in freezer, the freezer was defrosted thanks to my cats, who'd got in the shed and knocked over the ladder which had opened the door - you couldn't make it up could ya!

All those ready meals I'd prepped, chips, fish, chicken - grr, the good news my sister come to get some and they had a feast last night, some of the stuff I can cook and refreeze but of course I had a poorly boy who normally would've demolished loads but he wasn't well so he didn't.

I could've eaten too much of it but I resisted, that wasn't going to help me lose weight was it, I had some pizza and waffle, I left some of the waffles, 

then later we had noodles and leftover chicken which was really nice with the kale in it.  

I did end up having a big glass of wine which I wasn't going to but I caved from the stress lol, I also had 6 celebrations - why the bloody hell did I buy them!  Shall I tell you why I bought them, because I'm a moron, I went to the Tesco garage on Sunday to get them some chocolate and ice cream, plus I needed milk, £18 later, I remembered I had a £2 coupon in my purse if I spent £20 that week, so I was at the till looking at the celebrations for £4, and I thought, yeah, I'll have them and save them for Christmas. 

More fool me, I put them on the side in the kitchen and in minutes the 6ft teenager had opened them and had one, so now they're open and they can't be saved for Christmas because you can't give away open boxes of chocolate, even I'm not that rude! 

At least I stopped at 6 - 294 calories OUCH!  Ended my day on minus 134, could've been worse!

Today is gonna be a busy one, we've 3 huddles and I've also got to cook a salmon dinner for Aryn and I as it's defrosted, I have defrosted chicken and bacon which I think I'll make a pasta bake for tomorrow with or make and freeze, we shall see, there's quite a lot of chicken so it would do both I guess. 

I did have to laugh though, as you can imagine when I found the mess I started shouting and throwing my toys out my pram, as himself said on the phone, "when you go, you go don't you!" and I do, I get really loud.  Aryn just walks off and ignores me but when we were having the crack later and I said something about my reaction, he replied, "you're like a tractor with no tyres", well I just burst out laughing, said, "I've never heard that saying before, where have you had that from", he said, 'I just made it up', when I asked what it meant, he said, 'well you make a lot of noise but it gets you nowhere!"  How true, I need a t-shirt with that one, "like a tractor with no tyres!"

hilarious! 

On a positive, I've been trying to clear my freezer out for a while now, well it's been done, thankfully I'd already used a lot of what was in there, so I can restock it healthily!

Here's to hopefully a hassle free day, I hope my boy feels better this morning, he was poorly, bad belly, hot and cold, proper bug.  Yeah it's great to have 100% school attendance but you can't help being ill.

Here's to a great day. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Mid week already!

Wednesday 4th October 2023 

I need to remember this, I've come such a long way in the last few months going to that joint pain management programme, now it's time to focus on continuing that success but also losing some damn weight!  I gained 1/2lb yesterday morning, so now I'm down to 3.5lb lost in my 7 in 7 and I'm on week 5 I think, yeah it is, so I have 3 weeks left to lose 3.5lb.  More importantly I want to continue losing weight focusing on the fact every pound I lose is taking 4lb of pressure of my back and knees because my backs not happy this morning, it wasn't yesterday either and my knee is screaming 'screw you' as it's had enough of carrying this extra weight I'm carrying!  

I refocused yesterday, had another word with myself, I'd already done that before stepping on the scales to be honest, I left that MRI appointment glad that I'd had a diagnosis and with the realisation I can make a difference myself and not just rely on doctors.  

After a great huddle on the morning, I nipped to get milk for the next huddle as I'd forgotten to take it with us, in the shop they had conference pears 4 for 99p and they were how I like them, firm so I bought them and a bunch of bananas and had one of each for my late breakfast.  After that huddle I drove to the gym and did half hour on the recumbent bike because for some reason that doesn't hurt my knee or back whilst I'm doing it.  

 

I decided only to spend half hour there because I don't want to do any damage, I know I'm like a bull at a gate and I'm trying not to be.  Anything is better than nothing and I'll build up over time, 30 minute and 10km - I'll take that.  I'll ignore the calories because it doesn't know who was sat on it, I didn't input any of my details so that's not accurate and I don't have my fitbit as it's in the post being returned.  

I'll go again today, not sure yet if I'll swim or gym but moving is moving and it's all helping, Aryn wants to go later too so I'll take him and do a little then.

I nipped into Lidl on my way back to get a chicken, is it bad that I looked through them all to get the biggest :) 2.2kg as opposed to 1.9kg, it all makes a difference doesn't it, it was costing me £4.99 either way.  I cooked it in the Ninja, I didn't get the timing right this time but it was still edible, I'd cook it for a little less time next time, still getting used to it.  I had some with the leftover mash, sprouts and gravy from yesterday and added carrots and a roast onion - it was lush.  

What probably pleased me the most yesterday was the fact I had 9.3 portions of my 5 a day on my app, for me that's fantastic!  Here's to working on doing that again, if fruit tasted how I like it all the time, it would be easier for sure.

I probably had 500-1500ml of water, plus a tea and coffee, I just didn't track the water.  

Every week food gets mentioned in our huddle chat and usually by the middle of the week we fancy something we've talked about it, thankfully this time for me, I don't want the doughnut but I do fancy porridge!  I was gutted when I got up this morning and realised I don't have any, I'm even tempted to nip over the shop when it opens and get some, I can have 40g which is a really good portion for 152 calories, then add a little milk, mmm yeah I need it in my life.

We have plenty of chicken left which I think I'm going to do with noodles later and some kale, a poor mans ramen bowl, maybe I'll open a tin of sweetcorn.  Some of the recipes have egg in it so I might even hard boil an egg and we can have 1/2 each.  Ooo yeah = nice.

Beans on toast is going on my 'to eat' list this week too, I've also ordered a Gousto box, they offered me 30% off and at least that way I have meals decided, it's coming on Saturday, 

I have till midnight to change the meals if I want too, so I might have a quick look through again as I've just realised two are pasta, we'll see.

Right I need to get ready for work, pack my gym bag, it's all about being prepared isn't it, it's all in the planning and I need to remember that.  

Let's have a fab day shall we?

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx 

  

I'm falling apart :)

Tuesday 3rd October 2023 

I went for the results of my MRI scan yesterday and I have Spondylolisthesis and a bulging disc, now that's a big bloody word and it isn't the same as spondylitis which is what a few people have thought.  So what is it, well it's bloody hard to pronounce for starters!  spon· dy· lo· lis· the· sis there you go :) 

According to the NHS website spondylolisthesis  s where one of the bones in your spine, called a vertebra, slips forward. It can be painful, but there are treatments that can help.  Mine could've been caused by my infamous skateboard crash or it could've been from years of falling off things which I'm very good at I'll have you know!  I mean I feel out of a bedroom window at the age of 4, a few mountains, yeah I'm a bit of a clumsy bitch it has to be said.  

Spondylolisthesis  may happen anywhere along the spine, but is most common in the lower back and mines in L5 where I also have a bulging disc - YAY, I wasn't imaging the pain in my leg, it isn't all in my head.  Now spondylolisthesis and bulging disc are two different conditions. Spondylolisthesis is a spinal disorder in which one vertebra slips onto the vertebra below it, causing pain in the lower back or legs.   On the other hand, a bulging disc occurs when the tissue between the bones in your spine pushes out.  How blessed am I to have both and to be able to find the words online to explain it to you.  Having said that the man I had my appointment with was very helpful and gave me information showing me photos online to get it across.  

He's now referred me to the spinal people but the good news is, I'm unlikely to need surgery because I'm coping with it, they may offer me injections or if I can continue to improve with what I'm doing, it will just be kept an eye on and it's on my records for the future if it does deteriorate.  

Yeah I will continue to exercise to build strength in my joints and muscles, build my core strength and energy levels.  

The other thing I really need to do is lose some more damn weight because we all know being overweight isn't gonna help and they say for every 1lb you lose you take 4lb of pressure of your back and knees and I have a bad knee too.  If I could lose a stone, it would make such a difference I'm sure and I need to remember this when I'm being a greedy cow because I do love food and wine, there's no denying it, I'm not eating for 'comfort' anymore I'm back to eating because it tastes so damn good so what I need to start doing is cooking meals that don't just taste amazing but that are healthy and within my calorie allowance. 

I will see what the scales say this morning and then work on this, stop being a greedy cow and I need to remind myself of my WHY because being in pain sucks - not being able to stand for longer than 5 minutes before the pain in my lower leg kicks in sucks, having sciatica going all down my leg when I walk for 5 minutes or more sucks and feeling like my knee has been hit by a hammer sucks.  This extra stone in weight SUCKS!  Don't get me wrong I could do with losing double that, but let's start with a bit of realism and lose the first SUCKY STONE!  

I did go to the gym straight from my appointment 30 minutes cardio and about the same doing weights, I wanted to swim too but I'd run out energy, I knew my back was struggling and a swim would've sent it over the edge.  I'm tempted to go today for half hour swim in-between huddles I have a few hours, I could fit it in!  Stop me sitting watching tele I guess, cos let's be honest I won't use that time to do housework even though I could :)

Yeah, start as I mean to go on, need to plan a bit of breakfast so I'm not starving, sorted.  

I've slept so much last night, I was in so much discomfort with my back I decided to go and lie in bed about half five, when himself called me at 6, I'd fell asleep!  I soon went back to sleep too when we'd finished a chat, I then woke up about half ten, the cat woke me at half three and I got up at 6 - BOOM!  I am fully re-energised, my backs not so bad this morning either so happy days, here's to a happy day!

I hope your world is good, if like me you know you could do with a kick up the ass and to start taking your weight loss journey serious, come join us at the huddles this week, we're all in this together!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

12 weeks! Really?!

Monday 2nd October 2023

We've had a wonderful weekend, then I realise it's 12 weeks till Christmas (EEK!) that is some scary information!  I'm almost at the end of week 4 of my 7 in 7 challenge, I think it's week 4 not 5, it's all going too quickly and I can't keep up!

It doesn't help that I can cook a damn good dinner (if I do say so myself!).  As you know I treated myself to the new Ninja AF500UK and yesterday I decided to try and cook a joint of beef in it, normally I would've stressed over risking ruining a joint of beef but I'd had it at a damn good price from Stu and Dave Facebook and I'd had good recommendation on the cooking technique from a facebook group for this Ninja.  WOW, I cooked it on the dehydrate setting for 6 hours as recommended, it's only 60 degrees so it cooked it low and slow, then at the end I put it on max and did 3 minutes each side.  Oh my days, it was addictive, we kept sneaking in for a bit more, every time he got up I knew what he was up too!  There's gravy left and I'm very tempted to make another dinner for today rather than freezing it.  

  

The rest of the weekend was chilled, he didn't get back till Saturday afternoon, he'd had a long working week so we went to the pub for a few then had chippy.  I had chips and curry sauce and a bit of his kebab.  We were in bed early, although I don't know what time as my fitbit didn't record it, it keeps doing that, missing the odd night so I've chatted with them a few times over the last few months and they've agreed to replace it, I've got to send it back then they'll replace so I'm gonna be without one for a few weeks - I'll survive I'm sure. 

Friday was my last Joint Pain Management session, now to continue working on building my strength myself.  I've got a busy day today but I will make time for the gym as I'd have gone anyway usually. 

I loved the huddle Saturday morning too, we talked about the types of food you eat at this time of year and it make me want pie all week, ooo I might have a roast dinner with a pastry lid today, Aryn can have the same or something else, his choice.  I have potatoes that need using, that'll make mash or more roasters, I did them in the Ninja too but par boiled them first, they were lush.  My yorkies were the cheap ones from Aldi, they were good too, I couldn't bring myself to pay the price of a giant one in Sainsburys, when you compare the per kg price, they wanted £1.80 for a Aunt Bessie giant one which is £14.40 per kg whereas the Aldi everyday essential ones are only £2kg the Sainsbury's basic ones are a similar price.  The ingredients are the same whatever the size of the yorkie ain't they! 

We then had beef sandwiches for tea as well so my Sunday tracking went out the window, back on it today though.  

We watched a few episodes of the new series of Brassic, it didn't disappoint, I just love Joe Gilgun and all of the characters in that show to be honest, it's just genius comedy. 

Now to decide what to chat about in this weeks huddle, drop my car off in Cannock at 9, get a taxi back, appointment at 12, and fit the gym in somewhere - yay gotta love a relaxed Monday NOT!

I better get on with it then hadn't I!  The kitchens a mess too, all those plates from dinner and tea last night, I ignored and left and am now wishing maybe I hadn't.  Ah well, it's all good, need to wash the sofa covers too, let's do this!  

Here's to a cracking good day, I got this!  

Have a great day, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x   

Good morning, it's Friday - YAY!

Friday 29th September 2023 

Another day, can you believe we're almost at the end of September already and I'm starting to feel the drop in temperature when I get up, it's proper dark out there and about 11 degrees, not cold enough for the heating to go on, I'll just put a hoodie on but yeah it's definitely comfort food time of year. 

Last night I had sausage and mash with onion gravy, I'd got one made in the freezer from when I'd cooked it a month or so ago, plus there's another one in there still so that's a meal sorted next week.  I did end up going over my allowance by a couple hundred calories but that was more about the other food I ate!  I need to get planning again rather than winging it. 

My lower back was hurting yesterday too, that doesn't help with moving so I'm quite pleased to see that I manage 7,240 steps, it feels a little better this morning so fingers crossed it stays that way.  Last joint pain management group today then I'll start going alone but still do the same days as it's now a habit, if I can go 3 times a week, that's a great commitment, combine cardio and machines in the gym with swimming and hopefully I'll continue to improve my energy levels and strengthen my body so my pain is tolerable.   I need to work out a routine, I'll get googling so I'm not just making it up as I go along, of course I can use the exercises we've learnt in our group.

I've had a good 7 hours sleep but I've got tired eyes this morning, it'll be a slow start from me, I'm going to clear our coffee table this morning, it's doing my head in now.  It appears I'm the only person who moves anything from it once it's been put on.  Random things on there today include cat treats, a large metal tape measure, sunglasses, reading glasses, tablets, hand cream, toothpicks, paperwork, ninja instructions - now I'm love to have a moan here but I've just realised other than the glasses, it's all my stuff lol, so I better shut up and clear it off!  

My Aldi roses are looking damn good, 10 yellow roses for £2.57 is incredible value!  I've had the 5 days too, can't complain at that.

Himself may be working tomorrow which means he won't be back tonight, I was looking forward to chippy for tea, we can have it tomorrow instead I guess, there's a lasagne in the fridge Aryn and I can share if he doesn't come home, that'll be a tasty tea. 

Now I know there's a lot of horrific and terrible things that go on in the world that shock us all but when I saw yesterday that someone had cut down the tree on Hadrian's wall, I was truly mind blown - WHY?!  I've walked under that tree on a sponsored walk, I just don't understand the mentality of some folk anymore.  Don't get me wrong in comparison to a 15 year old girl being fatally stabbed  on her way to school, it's just a tree not a life but I just don't understand what's wrong with our youth, both involve teenage boys, knives and chainsaws - WTF.  I'm bloody glad our teenage boy plays games in his room and eats too much food from our kitchen, I feel blessed he's a good lad. 

Anyway, I'll not dwell on that, I'm all about focusing on the positivity of life and we had a great day in our huddles, it's lovely seeing a room full of members chatting away about their week, supporting each other.  It's also amazing when a member who's been having a tough time for whatever reason and has shared that information with you, walks in one day smiling and as happy as because that 'issue' has been sorted.  It makes both Elle and I feel great to have been a small part of their story.

I'm toying with scrambled eggs or defrosted cottage pie for breakfast (I know that's proper weird, but come on, I've never professed to be normal, it's in the fridge, it needs eating and the bit I had the other night wasn't enough, then I found this one yesterday.  I thought Aryn would've eaten it but he didn't, unless he ate it after I went to bed, oh no I hope not :) 

Here's to a good day, my eyes aren't as tired as they were when I started this blog so that's a positive!  

Let's keep making our day a good one, focusing on the positives. 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Yay, it's Thursday!

Thursday 29th September 2023

Well I had a day that had a lot of bread yesterday, thankfully we ran out of bread so I couldn't eat any more!  It started with banana on toast which was delicious and under 300 calories on thick granary bread.  I don't usually eat thick bread but it was free!  lunch was homemade soup with the last slice of that bread spread with a cheese triangle, at least the soup had butternut squash, pepper, carrot and onions in it so that would have helped me get my 5 a day yesterday even though it doesn't show on app as it was a quick add meal.  Dinner we had cottage pie from freezer which was leftover from a previous meal and damn it was delicious, we could've eaten it twice, there just wasn't enough!  The tenderstem broccoli was from Aldi, it's on the super six this week for 79p.  The spring roll was also from Aldi, I'd put a couple on Aryn's plate to try and bulk it up because I knew the meal wasn't going to be enough for him.  We ended up cooking more spring rolls for him and I had another two, they're 103 calories each, they were tasty though 6 for £2, I'll buy more for him to snack on, better than a block of chocolate I guess at least there's a little vegetable inside it!  I ended up having another slice of bread with cheese and chutney on before bed, thankfully I went to bed early so that stopped me eating  I ended on minus 136 calories.  

  

On a positive, I managed 6,663 calories steps, and 61 active zone minutes, the fitbit app says I burned 2,305 calories, I'd prefer to think I burned that amount doing my hour swim (50 lengths - chuffed with that) and doubled it over the rest of the day - how cool would that be!  Just shows you don't burn as many calories and you think being active I only burned 261 calories doing 50 lengths in about 50-55 minutes.  It does do us good in other ways though so it's definitely worth doing!  

Aryn and I spent half hour in the gym lifting a few weights, he's easing himself back in slowly (very slowly!), I'm going to start doing my gym work on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday from next week before I swim then if he wants to go to the gym I'll just hang around looking pretty because I'm not getting done what I want to get done.  My pain management group finishes tomorrow so I'll put myself a workout together, I don't need to spend ages in the gym but on days my body feels good, I'll make the most of it because I can feel the difference in my body and my mind to be fair.  

The combination of exercise and HRT, together with eating well is making me feel really good, the life I have is brilliant and has been for 2 years now but doing these things is changing my hormones which were affecting not just my mind but my body too.  

Anyway that was my day, a fabulous huddle on the morning, straight to the gym to swim, home for an hour, off to the gym with Aryn then home for food and a bit of tele before an early night and another cracking sleep - almost 9 hours!  That's another thing that's improved since the HRT patches were added alongside the exercise, sleep score is now good more often than fair. 

Then there's my cuties, it's coming up to a year since we got them, Coco's my precious, that's him last night, taking over the sofa giving me that 'dare ya' look.  Minnie likes her space, she doesn't do cuddle by, she does do, 'let's have a little play on the coffee table', where she has no clue what to do and almost always falls off!   Oh and she likes eating flowers, thankfully the roses I bought aren't dangerous to her - I've googled it!  Loony cat! 

Just realised I've not thought food for today and it's Thursday, my busy day - bugga.  It needs to be tasty too because I'm hungry, maybe it's the drop in temperature.  I have a lot of eggs, maybe I make omelettes, take Aryn a pasta bake out the freezer.  I'll think about it, go look in freezer.  Oooo cheese and potato pie maybe, I've got potatoes, oh man I love comfort food.  I was so disappointed in the pie we had from Tesco earlier in the week, they just can't make pie!  

Right I need to get ready for work, spending time with people who lift me - we should all do that more often!  Life's too short to be surrounded by mood hoovers xx

Mwah, luv ya

Love me