Getting cheaper by the day ;)

Tuesday 16th June 2020 

A good day starts with a positive attitude and a great cuppa

Good morning, are you ready for your day?  I am, the rain woke me up around 4, so I've already done my yoga, had my cuppa and now I'm eating my apple - check me out!  

Even better, my healthy shop is being delivered today, fruit and veggies all the way and I'm going to have a cheap, healthy week.  I've just took a homemade curry out the freezer and I'll be having it with cauliflower rice.  I also have a bag of gnocchi in the fridge which I've just decided I'm going to bake with a can of condensed soup and frozen peas and sweetcorn, that'll be proper comfort food on a day when it's needed.  I'm guessing it'll freeze too, so I can pop some in the freezer for another day.  Taking this budgeting very seriously as becoming very aware of the current climate and the losses of jobs that are happening nationally, it has a knock on effect to all of us! 

I'm fancying a cooking day, I've made some room in the freezer so I can cook up some deliciousness and freeze it for the days I don't feel like cooking.  I found a couple of recipes in a Jamie Oliver book I fancy having a go at too.  Hopefully mom will behave and I'll be able to get in there. I hoovered yesterday, ma'an I do not like that job, but my stair carpet was starting to look a different colour so it was much needed!

I didn't crochet at all yesterday, that's a first I think for a good while, to be honest other than hoover, I'm not quite sure what I did do!  DOH! I went walking with Vicky didn't I - dozy ain't I, as ever it was great, not just the exercise of the body that is much needed right now but also the mind, firstly as daft as it sounds we did our route backwards, erm that's stranger than you think you know.  We all have our ways and I've never ever walked that route counter clockwise and over the years, I've walked it a lot.  Then we shared our issues, the things in our lives that are going on that we want to talk about and get feedback on, a problem shared and all that. 

Then I just chilled with mom and gave her attention for the rest of the day, that in itself is a full time job I tell ya!

Anyways, I'm off for another cuppa cos I can hear mom moving about downstairs and she'll start to get antsy if  I stay up here much longer, hope to see you all this morning, on virtual 8-9, workshop starts at 8.30, in the Wolverhampton Connect group.  

Let's have a delicious day shall we?

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx 

 

Money saving project

Monday 15th June 2020

When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day

Well it was Yoga with Alfie this morning rather than Adriene, he woke up very playful, so there wasn't a lot of yoga moves being executed in the correct way lol, it's all good though, we've had a very short walk and played biting Beverley so he's happily asleep on the armchair in my office bless him and mom's snoozing in her armchair downstairs.  

Well this week's all about the freezer, I started yesterday by eating a cottage pie I'd cooked who knows when and put the spare in the freezer, and that's how I plan to work my menu this week, from things in the freezer and cupboards.  Gutted just went to take my WW protein wraps out the cupboard to use and they're green, even though they're dated September so I'm assuming the vacuum seal has been broken - deep sigh, no Quesadillas for me now lol. 

Money is going to become a big issue for so many of us this year, all this Covid crap is completely messing up the economy so I'm definitely going to be cutting down on how much I spend on food, I've always spent too much but now I'm ready for cheap and cheerful.  That cottage pie with frozen veg and a bit of bisto gravy was delicious.  I've got loads to use up which is a bonus for a bit, but I'm going to enjoy thinking up cheap dishes that can be added to my new healthy lifestyle.  I've learned a lot about myself and my life in lockdown and I'm making changing accordingly, also we'll all have to get used to changes we have no say in, so I'm preparing myself!

I've always been funny about eating frozen stuff that I've cooked but eating that cottage pie yesterday has made me realise it's all in my head, it was delicious.  Going forward when I cook a recipe I'll freezer the other portions, no ones a massive fan of batch cooking so if you have four mouths to feed, when you cook a recipe double up, then freeze the second half, batch cooking in the same time as cooking one meal! 

Now an easy way to save money is to eat veggie, lentils are so cheap, and there's a delicious lentil bake recipe on this blog if you haven't tried it before.  But I noticed my mate Nat had made one last week, so here's the recipe for you to have a dabble, I plan too, the recipe has a stick of celery in but I'll leave that out because I won't eat the rest of the celery and that's a waste of 50p! 

Cheesy lentil bake

Serves 4 

34SP total on green (9SP per portion), 38SP using full fat cheddar (10SP per portion)

20SP total (5SP per portion) on blue & purple, 24SP using full fat cheddar (6SP per portion)

1tbsp oil 4SP

1 onion, chopped

1 carrot, chopped

1 celery stick, chopped

150g red lentils (12SP on green, 0SP on blue & purple)

1 garlic clove, crushed

420ml vegetable stock 

100g cheese (cathedral city lighter mature 12SP) (16SP full fat cheddar)

2tbsp parsley

1 egg, beaten (2SP on green, 0SP on blue & purple)

salt and pepper to season

2 tomatoes sliced 

2 tbsp breadcrumbs  (40g is 4SP)

Preheat oven to 180C / Fan 160C / Gas 4

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat.  Add the onion and fry for a few minutes until soft. 

Add the carrot, celery, lentils, garlic and stock and put a lid on the pan.  Bring it to the boil then simmer for about 20 minutes or until  all the stock is absorbed.  

Add 75g of the cheese, the parsley and the egg to the lentil mixture and stir thoroughly.  Season well.

Spoon into a shallow ovenproof dish and smooth the top.  Top with the tomatoes.

Mix the breadcrumbs with the remaining cheese and sprinkle over the top.

bake until the topping is golden brown and crisp, about 30 minutes, but keep checking so it doesn't burn.

I'd make that today if i had a carrot and an onion lol, oh and tomatoes lol, maybe tomorrow or Wednesday when I've had my shopping delivered.  I noticed I have a bag of frozen butternut squash in the freezer, maybe I'll think about doing something with that.  

But first for breakfast, then my Monday walk with V.

Mwah, luv ya, have a great day 

Love me x

  

Rebuilding my healthy lifestyle

Sunday 14th June 2020 

Throw out the excess, clean up the mess, say no to stress and live with less.

I'm contemplating housework today!  At the minimum the living room and the kitchen.  I'm saving my office for Friday when the lady comes to sit with mom for 4 hours, I thought if I stay here the first time just to make sure she's okay, I can get a lot done in my office in that time.  

It's quite nice out this morning, just back from walking Alfie, he wasn't really in the mood but I've done my bit there now.  Quite the thunderstorm last night, mom wanted an early night and I wasn't tired, so took my glass of wine to bed with me, and sat up listening to my audio book.  Apparently though, I was tireder than I realised because yes I dropped off and drowned myself and my bed in red wine!  You'd be amazed at how much damage an inch of wine can do.  I had to completely strip the bed, so they're soaking in the bath waiting to be put in the machine this morning - yes I'm a numpty, I know. 

I know I keep saying it but yesterday's workshop was brilliant, I love that I get to spend the morning working with Elle and Kate, we laughed and we also as a group came up with lots of ideas to help us all get through the week.  I'll be hard boiling some eggs this morning, adding some wafer thin cooked chicken rather than ham to my shopping basket and grating and portioning my cheese to avoid the temptation to eat too much at any one time.  I've taken a cottage pie out of the freezer, it's a portion I cooked last time I made some, that's the bonus of cooking for too many, gonna have it with peas, beans and gravy nom nom.  But first I'm going to have bacon, egg and mushrooms for breakfast, might have a crumpet with it too or a muffin.  Oh ain't food great.  

I've started to sort through my cook books, turns out there's only one shelf not two as I remember having done it before.  I will be keeping some I think but not all.

This weeks workshops are all about FATS, the kind we eat not wear on our bodies, I'm looking forward to this one, I like information and as I'm going back to the start and clearing the slate, rebuilding a healthy lifestyle, it's good to be reminded of all the facts. 

I'm looking forward to support Amy this morning, I get that little Sunday morning motivation that helps me stay on track today before I weigh in tomorrow, I'll be happy with a maintain, I'm a work in progress, lots going on in my world at the moment, things I can't talk about, so if I can stop it affecting my weight, it's a bonus. 

Here's to a great day, I'm off to have my breakfast, hungry this morning I am, even after eating my 2 little apples - yes still on the fruit, rebuilding my healthy lifestyle from the bottom up, one habit at a time! 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx 

Can someone turn my brain off please!

Saturday 13th June 2020

When your heart speaks, take good notes.

Remember when we social distanced on our own terms!  Lol, yeah I can't wait to get back to that.

Joking aside, I keep hearing so many say 'We're in this together', don't let it be a platitude, make sure we are there for each other in whatever way we can be.  

Last night I did a lot of thinking, I was awake at just gone 3 this morning, I've already done an hour of yoga, belly breathing - I enjoyed that, it's very calming, which I need right now.  

Anyway, back to this thinking malarkey, it frazzles your brain to be honest, but there's not a lot else to do is there.  So here's a few questions I found popping into my head, maybe you'd like to answer them too.

What have you done with your life?

What have you achieved?

Who's life have you influenced, changed or made a difference to?

I was being all deep as you've probably guessed lol, but I don't want to be on this earth just to survive, I want to live and make a difference.  

I've always been a loner, then I became a WW coach, it made me want to be around people, to help them and make a difference.  My mission in life for the last 15 years has been to help people be happy in their skin, to love themselves for who they are not what they weigh.  To support them on their journey's and help re-educate on health where necessary.  I realised a long time ago I am so much more than my weight and so is every one of my members. 

Know your worth, appreciate how amazing you are, your qualities, your strengths, then realise how much you're worth taking care of, because you are an original, a one off!  You're working on a masterpiece (you!), and masterpieces take time!  Let's not rush, let's take care of ourselves.

I'm looking forward to my virtual workshop this morning (links in Wolverhampton connect group on WW app), to seeing as many of you as possible, to catch up with you all and hear what's happening in your world.  Thank goodness for social media allowing me to stay in touch with so many.  

Mwah, luv ya, 

Have a great Saturday 

Love me xx

 

Here's to another good day x

Friday 12th June 2020

Be an encourager, the world has plenty of critics.

Yesterday was a good mom day, no major wobblies or meltdowns thankfully and to make things even better I got a call from my social worker to check on me.  After bringing her up to date on mom, she asked how the 4 hours a week respite was going, to which I said, we haven't had any yet, I assumed it was because of lockdown.  No, it wasn't and she wasn't impressed at all, as it was back in February it was agreed, so she said leave it with her and she'd sort.  I had a call yesterday afternoon, we've got a lovely lady named Julie coming next Friday from 12-4 and she'll come every week to sit with mom.  Now obviously, I don't know how moms going to react to this idea, but if we don't try, we don't know.  I'll probably stay in the house the first time, go and potter about, if she seems okay with it, I could walk Alfie, then hopefully over time, I'll be able to go and do something for that time, even if it's walking through the fields at the moment, cos no one can go anywhere much anyway.  I really hope mom enjoys having a visitor, I really do.

Despite eating a finger of KitKat that mom kept offering me, I had a pretty healthy day, mango and apple for breakfast, then scrambled eggs and mushrooms on a cheesy muffin.  For tea I had tandoori skewers on a bed of egg fried rice with roasted peppers.  Alfie enjoyed most of my chicken, to be honest it was a little dry.  

Mom woke me at 4.15 this morning to ask where her trousers were, Alfie came into my room and jumped up the side of my bed. I got up and found all her clothes and said I'm just gonna have five more minutes (I didn't! I can rarely go back to sleep at that time), in which time she got back on her bed and went back to sleep - where she still is, Alfie's fast asleep on my bed where I lifted him and I've been wide awake ever since and done my yoga.   It is lovely and peaceful though, I haven't even turned my radio on, I'm enjoying the silence. 

We're talking planning this week, I know I've already mentioned that but yesterday I suggested people start writing down meals they enjoy in a notebook, maybe add recipes they enjoy.  This got me thinking as I want to sort my office, I could start with my recipe books, I have 2 shelves that I rarely look at, I'm going to work my way through them, find the recipes I do like and copy them then put them in a folder, then find a new home for the books.  Make more space for things I do use now.

I'm all about making changes at the minute, not big grand gestures but small tweaks each week, I've lost and gained weight so much over the years but now I want to focus on changing my behaviours, my routines, my habits so that they'll hopefully stick and I'll make lasting changes rather than short term fixes.  Not diet related but one thing I've done that's saving me hours is putting the dogs lead, my keys and my earphones in the drawer as soon as I enter the house, this has saved me hours of endless searching for them because I can't remember where I left them the last time I used them.  The fruit being put by the kettle is working too, I am eating a piece each day and starting to actually enjoy it.  If I can build up with little habits and new routines over time, hopefully I'll end up a happier, healthier version of myself.  

Today though, I'm going to hope mom has another good day, try and finish a lemon baby blanket I've been working on that's taking a lot of concentration, oh and I've got some work to do, actually I've just realised I've got a lot of work to do, so the blanket may not get finished till the weekend, but that's okay because I'm in no rush to finish it.

Oh and proving you can still be successful in Lockdown, another of my lovely members hit her goal yesterday, well done Emma, you've done amazingly well. 

Right I'm off, mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

If only hugs made everything better x

Thursday 11th June 2020

I just hugged you in my thoughts.... hope you felt the squeeze!

Never have I been more grateful to have a sister and my V, ma'an yesterday was challenging, at one point me and my sister were stood in the hall with my mom between us and there were no words necessary.  My poor mom, later we sat together and as I listened to her talk, she cried then I joined in, not big, dramatic, weeping, just silent, heartbreaking, realisation tears where she terrified and I feel helpless.  I can honestly say if Euthanasia was legal last  night I would've opted for it for her and so would she.  I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, I'm just so desperately glad she has me and my sister, I can't imagine how those poor folk who have no one handle it. 

We've started the day okay though, well actually she woke up and came out of her bedroom scared she was in trouble and the police were on their way because her and Sheila (best friend from school) had been arrested and escaped (obviously in her dreams), I bought her out of that with some giggles, it's easier in the morning.  Last night when she was talking about her husband, she got angry when I tried to explain he wasn't here, it's fear obviously because it means her brains broke and she doesn't want to accept that.  I know all the stuff you read online says agree, but how can I agree that he's in the other room if she's going to look for him?  Or put her shoes on to go find him!   Ma'an this stuff should come with training for sure!  Or at the very least some kind of syringe full of magic that you can inject to instantly calm them down!  

On a positive I've just eaten a bowl of mango and I'm now on an apple.  We also had the most wonderful walk yesterday, 2 hours of bliss.  I did walk the dog later too, where I was probably a bit abrupt with a woman asking about my mom and then starting to tell me 'you should get help coming in' and 'I went through it all with my...." I'm afraid I just said, I don't want to talk about it sorry, this is my hour away from it all' and walked off.   Oops! 

You'd be proud of me though, after what was a really difficult hour right up to the moment I started my workshop, you wouldn't have known whilst I was working, I was a true pro, put it all outside the room and my mind and thoroughly enjoyed catching up and coaching for that hour.  Then I went back downstairs to the lions den, my sister left and mom was still on one.  As my sister was leaving mom was all loud and rude "Are you going to feed me, I haven't had anything for hours" (she had), so I  went to do that, made us both a ham sandwich, put lettuce and cucumber on mine, and the lettuce was use by May 28th!  It was absolutely fine and no yucky on it at all! I digress, mom then said, 'I haven't had a drink', I pointed at the coffee Anne had made her, 'I don't want that, it's disgusting', okay what do you want, she wanted a decent cup of coffee.  I decided to do a sneaky test, I took the coffee into the kitchen, poured it into a different cup and bought it back - she drunk the lot! 

I was proud of myself last night for not overeating or overdrinking, yes I had a big glass of wine, but I didn't have a bottle.  Mom calmed down but was still anxious for the rest of the night but I handled it and finally got her to bed and she's had a better nights sleep than I have because I'm blessed with peri-menopausal sweats and disturbed sleep.  YAY! lol. 

I'm in good spirits I have to say, despite it all. Oh if you read yesterday, you may remember me saying I was going to do some of the stuff I keep putting off for fear of upsetting mom, well I did yesterday didn't I, I started to move the big cupboard in my bedroom to make more room for my yoga.  I only went and bloody broke it, as I pushed it, I heard a snap, so now I have pieces all over my room and there's probably less room than before - I am laughing here btw.  I'm going to sort all the clothes in that cupboard today and see what I do need and what needs getting rid of.  Then I'll decide what to do next about the cupboard!  

Oh I had 2 corn on the cob for my lunch yesterday, they were epic, 2SP worth of low fat spread after they'd been roasted, definitely going to be one of my regular meals.  We're talking planning aren't we, plus I'm trying to get my finances in order and one of the main things there is lowering my shopping bill.  To help with this, I'm going to start writing down meal ideas in my notepad to help me decide on my meals when I do my online shop, so I don't just throw stuff I 'fancy' in the basket which not only costs a pretty penny but also a pretty hefty point usually too!

Right, here's to hoping mom has a better day and then I know me and my sis will too. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

 

 

Listen to your heart

Wednesday 10th June 2020

It's not what we have but who we have.

Another day, another change to make our own sunshine.  I'm not even recapping over yesterday with mom, instead of focusing on what's going wrong wright now, let's all focus on what's going right.  What are you pleased about, what's working for you?  Who or what are you grateful for?

Me, I'm grateful for my sister who once again dropped everything to come round last night.  I'm grateful for my V who is making me a priority because she knows I probably wouldn't bother if she didn't.  I'm grateful for Sainsbury's who have delivered my food every Tuesday for the last few months.  

I'm pleased about my fruiting eating and yoga doing - not much to some but a big thing for me right now.  I'm grateful for not losing my temper with my dumb dog this morning who refused to get off my yoga mat and thought it was part of the practice to constantly lick my face (I hate being licked btw), I'm thankful that despite everything that's happening in this world and my world, I acknowledged that this little dog just wanted a bit of attention and fuss and the yoga could wait a few minutes or be done slightly differently.  

Earlier in the year I ordered a book by Karen Salmonsohn, Listen to your heart - a line-a-day journal, not realising it wasn't being released until June, well I've had an email to say it's on its way and should be here today.  It's not your typical line a day style diary, every day it asks you something different, so an example is; 

What could someone say to you right now to make you feel stronger and more positive.  Write it down, then say it to yourself -  out loud.

I love that, and do just read it, actually do it, oh and don't tell me you don't have time, how much time do you spend on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, etc just swap one of those minutes to do that.  Now I can honestly say over the last few weeks, whilst out walking V has said lots of things to me that are helping get through all this, mom, covid-19, all of it, she has helped me stay strong and feel positive about the future. 

Another one, probably easier, is 

List 3 things that make you smile.  Commit on this page to experiencing these things more often. 

Again I love this one too, I think I'll be able to actually do this book, they usually end up on my book shelf and never get completed, maybe a page or two gets filled in or I don't start them at al. 

3 things; 

Being outside - walking 

Cooking from scratch (something I've not been doing lately)

OH my, I'm struggling to think of things, how bad is that, I've been stuck in this house with mom so long, I've forgot how to live!

There's obviously things like food, wine, my dog, listening to my audiobooks, but I'm trying to think of 3 things that if I commit to doing them will bring me some additional life satisfaction at what's not the best chapter of my life.  

The third would probably be, being creative, now this is at present mostly my crochet but I like to do other things, such as the cooking, I feel like I've become stagnant, moms unintentionally slowly sucking the life out of me.  I sat next to her yesterday, with so many ideas going round in my mind of things I wanted to do but was scared to move because if I did, she'd wake up and then she wouldn't want me to leave the room anyway.

It wasn't even anything major, just cleaning the house a little, I'd like to try and move my bedroom furniture round a little so I have a slightly bit more room for my yoga, it's a real squeeze where I've got my mat, if she says put my arms out 'Texas' style, one arm has to go under the bed, the other towards the doorway, missing the sharp corner!  I think I'm beginning to realise whether I go and do this things or not, at some point she still ends up being horrid to me or getting stressed or wound up, or distressed, anxious.  I can only do so much to ease her situation.

I've just realised that I'm all for Black Lives Matter but I've forgot that my life matters too, I'm putting my own health and wellbeing, my wants and needs on hold to take care of my mom.   I'm not gonna lie, in my head from when she was diagnosed I always thought it would only be for so long, if you research, they say 10 years max but we've been living with this for almost that long, she had it before we bothered with diagnosis.  Don't get me wrong I'm not wishing her dead but I can't put my life on hold for another 10 years, I'm bloody 50 already, I've already lost my 40's.  It's not like I want to travel the world or fly to the moon.  I just wanna be able to clean the bloody house and cook a damn meal.  I want my va va voom back, there's a difference between inner calm (which I love) and flat, can't be bothered (which I don't love but am experiencing lately). 

I opened a notebook yesterday and it had #MissionMe in the cover, I remember that, it was 2 years ago in May, so I'm going to think about that again.  I've been working on building these healthy habits and this week we're talking planning, obviously that's mostly regarding food but I'm going to start planning to cook a meal from scratch.  I'm also going to stop 'sitting' to keep the calm, I can't live like that anymore.  

Here's to listening to my heart and building some kind of life again, albeit a different one as the futures going to be different for all of us.  #MissionMe

Here's to getting stuff done today!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

When all you want to do is hug your friends

Tuesday 9th June 2020 

We're all in this together ... 6 feet apart!

Mom went to bed at 7.15pm last night so I went up too and enjoyed watching a bit of 'little fires everywhere' on Amazon Prime, it's my early night tv, I'm on episode 5 I think and ma'an is it a strange watch but one of those I can't stop watching.  We had also been watching My Family before going up and that is laugh out loud funny.

I enjoyed a couple of hours walking with my bestie earlier in the day, we did a good 6 miles, it's all helping me on my healthy and happy journey as that's what's most important to me right now, not the numbers on the scales - don't get me wrong I'd like them to be going down too but being healthy at this weight is my priority right now.   When we started off I was wound up, mom didn't want my sister there so I'd had to leave her a note saying call Anne if you need her, Alfie was having a bad morning too, he had a bad day yesterday poor lad, shivering and not being able to relax.  As we walked I felt myself calm down, talking everything through with V, thankfully mom did ring my sis and she messaged me so I could enjoy the rest of the walk without worrying about her.   That time is wonderful, just talking about everything and anything and enjoying the fresh air, and best of all - it's free!  It's definitely one of the things I want to continue to do when lockdown ends, it probably won't be in the morning as V will be getting herself a job but hopefully we'll sort something out that works for both of us.  

Yoga is another thing I will continue with, again it may not be first thing in the morning, although I'd like it to be, but mom doesn't seem to kick off if I say I'm going to do my yoga so I can hopefully change the time I do it if necessary.  I did this one this morning Yoga for Chronic Pain it was a nice gentle one and she even gave chair yoga options, Alfie came to join in with me this morning so hopefully he'll have a better day.

Life in lockdown certainly has it's challenges and one thing I won't miss is not being able to hug my friends, to give them a cuddle to show that you care, yesterday more than ever I felt this xx

As you've probably noticed I've not got much to talk about these days because there's not a lot going on in my life, it's sleep, wake, yoga, eat, drink, sleep.  Oh but the best bits are the walking and the working, this weeks workshop is all about planning, my first one this morning 8.30.

It's a bit chilly this morning, just whacked the heating on, I'm not getting in the shower until this house warms up!  I'll sit and have a mug of tea instead, I'm actually in living room with mom doing this blog, I usually sit in my office first thing in the morning but she's getting up earlier so as I'm working in a few hours I'll break it up by sitting here.  I've still got my water next to me though, trying to keep those habits going. Are ya bored yet lol, reading this, I'm sorry I can't be all insightful and inspiring today, I'm feeling calm and quiet.  We've been up since 4am, she woke me up a couple of times in the night, it's a bit spooky waking to find someone standing in your doorway lol. 

I'm gonna go make me a nice breakfast, some scrambled eggs and mushrooms mmm, nice.  Ooo I've got muffins in the freezer, if I toast it, I can defrost it in the microwave can't I? Yeah, worth a try.  Right I'm hungry now, so I'm off, have a great day.  Hope to see lots of you in my Tuesday workshop, link in Wolverhampton group, now more than ever we need to focusing on our wellness!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

What are you planning?

Monday 8th June

Breathe, this is just a chapter not the whole story

This is your Monday morning reminder that you can draw a line as often as you need too!

I've thankfully lost 1/2lb, I'll take that right now with how the world is, people say this is 'the new norm', erm there's nothing normal about how we're having to live right now is there.  I've driven my car twice since lockdown, that's not normal!  I'm doing workshops from my office and only leaving the house to walk my dog, oh and the last few weeks to walk with my bestie.  But no, there's nothing normal about this, and those that are leaving the house to go to work seem even more stressed than those of us stuck at home.  

Hopefully we will get back to some kind of normality sooner rather than later but until then, this is what we have and we must continue to ...

No there is no more to that sentence, actually it needs the 'to' removed, until then, this is what we have and we must continue. 

The one thing that hasn't changed for a lot of us is our inability to stay on track 24/7 and lose weight continually.  There are also still those out there that are flying, one of my members yesterday had lost another 1lb which brings her lockdown total to 20lb and she's in the next stone down, well done my lovely, you know who you are.  

My bestie did so well last week, she lost despite a very stressful week, that's when you know you've made changes that have become habits, when you can keep those habits going despite changes going on in your life. 

Water, yoga, fruit, they're 3 habits I'm working on building, the water I have nailed I reckon, the yoga I've managed 7 weeks, the real test will be what happens when I go back to leaving the house for work, I'm feeling optimistic about including fruit in my diet, even if it's one piece a day.  

The next behaviour I want to start working on is sensible shopping!  For me this means not buying more than I need, not buying stuff when I have stuff.  I need to start by using what I have, a bit of planning would help, I'm glad for this weeks workshop technique as it's all about planning and not just meal planning which was what got my attention.  I'll pick up ideas throughout the week I'm sure and it'll help things stick.  What is going to help with the sensible shopping is the fact I now order online and have a weekly Tuesday slot, it seems to let me book another as soon as my shop has been delivered.  I pick Tuesday because initially it was the only one I could get but now I realise it's a less busy day for the supermarket and I have a green slot too.  I can keep my eye on my spend doing it this way and there's no slipping to the shop for a few bits, I haven't done that since lockdown so I can obviously behave that way going forward. 

Anyways, it's a bit chilly sitting up here this morning, so I'm going to get moving, need to convince Alfie to go on his walk, I am going to have a look at what's in my freezer, decide what to eat today and maybe do a little meal planning for the week, I also need to sort my online shop for tomorrow. 

Monday's has been my day off for a long time, I like it, I enjoy it even more now I work both Saturday and Sunday morning online.  If you only plan one thing this morning, make it when you will attend a virtual workshop!  Here's all mine, links in the WW app Connect groups. 

For Sunday when I'm support on the 10am workshop, use this link in the Stafford Connect Group   

For Tuesday 8.30am, Wednesday 5.30pm & Saturday 9.45am use this link in the Wolverhampton Connect Group   

For Thursday 8.30am (& I'm supporting Hayley at 10.30am) use this link in the Dudley & Walsall Connect Group   

On that note, I'll say have a great day, remember to keep noticing the positives and the smile moments xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Focus on the good

Sunday 7th June 2020 

Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace 

A lovely walk had already with Alfie and my yoga done, I've started another 30 day playlist, Living Grateful with Adriene and I thoroughly enjoyed the first one which was a grounding practice which I needed, calm and slow, especially as my back keeps seizing, and she says when the root chakra is out of balance a person can feel anxious, uneasy, fearful, worried and stressed. This can lead to low energy and low immunity and an overall sense of instability. I've felt all of that to a certain degree over the last couple of weeks so am hoping this month of yoga practice will help turn that around.  

Focusing on living grateful was also something we picked up on in the virtual

workshop yesterday, it's too easy to get consumed in fear and focus on what 'could' happen, to let that overthinking the negative stuff take control of us.  Scientific research has now proven that implementing an attitude of gratitude into our regular routine changes the molecular structure of our brain. It’s true!

Practicing gratitude keeps gray matter functioning, making us feel healthier and happier. When we feel good, the central nervous system is affected too. We are less reactive, less stressed, and less resistant to change.

I need to get back to focusing on the good stuff, I'm normally a positive person and can't wait to get out of bed in the morning, I need her back, she's been missing for a couple of weeks because of one thing or another.

When I was talking to a new member at a Virtual Workshop this week, I explained why my group is called Happy Owl's (it's because the OWL stands for Over Weight Ladies or Lads) that reminded me of my strong belief in that everyone can be healthy and happy at any size! I've just had a glimpse at my website (which is in desperate need of updating I know) and some of the things in there that I'm going to spend some time reading through today including this A little book of Happy which is a book I put together one year for my helpers, The happy Zone is a place I've put lots of stuff I'd picked up over the years and Affirmations were taken from some cards I had printed.  I'd forgotten about all that, life gets in the way doesn't it.  

Anyway, food wise I ate healthy yesterday, including this deliciousness, I can never decide if I like  dumplings and I'm still not sure, but for 9SP this M&S mini meal was excellent and I finally cooked the courgette that's been in my fridge for over a week, I added some grated parmesan and it made it lush.

Not sure what's on the menu today, but I do know I have a few strawberries left to eat, gonna chop them up and have in yogurt I think, maybe with some oats.  Oh yeah there's a fruity curry for 15SP I'll have for dinner, then I'll start on the freezer and cupboard next week, now all the ready meals have gone from the fridge.

Working this morning, lots to do, I really need to hoover but my back disagrees so maybe I'll sweep it instead, not as heavy.

Hope to see some of you this morning, I'm supporting Amy in the Stafford group at 10, that'll set me up for the day, let's have a good one shall we, focus on the good stuff.

Good stuff for me so far included having a cuddle with Alfie when I'd finished yoga, being able to sit here typing in my office because moms calm so far too, that's lovely.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

 

Where is the love?

Saturday 6th June 2020 

There's only one way to get through some things = together

I've just watched the Black Eyed Peas video 'Where's the love?'  the re-release from 2016 and it couldn't be any more relevant right now AGAIN!  Then I've just seen on the new that over 40,261 people are now dead in this country because of a disease we can't control, I'm staying home as much as is possible (I know I don't have much choice but I would even if I did).  I think so many out there at the moment are ignoring the fact that CORONAVIRUS is still a real threat!  The infection rate as the tv says remains on a knife edge!  I don't like to talk about this stuff in my blog but how can you not when it's controlling and/or affecting our lives so much.  

In other news, yesterday was a mixed bag, at one point I found myself in the kitchen contemplating not just food but wine too at about 10am - both unplanned! Why? Because my mom came walking in the kitchen, she looked so worried and scared, asked me if I'd go and see if dad wanted a drink, she said he was going to be so angry because she'd forgot.  He's been dead for 22 years.  It took me right back to my youth, the power he wielded over her, how every day she'd take him flasks of tea up to his bedroom, if she forgot or he wanted something, he'd bang the floor with his walking stick and she'd have to go and sort him out.  That fear was on her face yesterday and it broke my heart to know she's re-living what was a horrid time in her life.  

Life in lockdown has been so difficult for both of us alone together 24/7, her condition has worsened, and days just blur together.  The Virtual Workshops have saved my sanity and thankfully this weeks virtual workshops are about unhelpful thinking, so as I stood there I observed the thoughts that were going through my mind & using the techniques suggested I challenged them & had a cuppa instead. i'm grateful to WW for such great topics each week. If you haven't been on a virtual yet this week, there are still some left to jump on today, mines at 9.45, it'll be so worthwhile I promise.

Last night we went to bed really early and less than 2 hours later, mom was up and dressed and going downstairs, I tried to explain to her it was night time but she wouldn't have any of it, she argued that it had to be daytime because it was light, she wanted to call my sister.  I tried to explain she couldn't because my sister would be in bed and it wasn't fair.  Deep sigh!  Then I know that friends of mine with moms that also have dementia and/or alzheimers are having equally difficult times and there's nothing that can be done. 

I'd lie if I said I ended my day on track, I didn't but I'm still making wise food choices; 

Shepherds Pie from M&S, available in two sizes, the one I had was 15SP meal for one, I managed to get mom to have a 7SP mini meal. I'd be tempted to have the 7SP one myself next time and lots of veggies as the meal for ones is a big portion!  I think I'm more of a cottage pie kind of girl, but I'll try the cottage pie and let you know another day. 

As I said, I'm not ending my day without my Smart Points Budget but I am making conscious decisions and if you're like me, we are still achievers!  What do you deserves this certificate for this week?

Why not save it to your phone and fill it in and post it on Connect / Facebook / Instagram, show people that you're doing the best you can!

Mine would say...

I may not be being perfect but I'm doing my best, I'm taking care of myself as much as possible, I'm walking, doing yoga, today I'm going to meditate a little because I know I need it, I'm eating really healthy meals oh and you know what, I'm enjoying the wine I'm drinking - even if it is too much - at least I'm not just gluggling it, I do sip it and taste it!

The best thing I'm doing is being gentle on myself, accepting that my life isn't easy at the best of times and now with lockdown etc, it's more difficult but you know what, I'm doing well.  I still love me which is more than most can say about themselves.  I love the person I am, I'm happy with how I look, yeah I'd like to weigh less because that's the 'healthy weight' thing, but I'm not unhappy with my image, I will always love me and be my own best friend and take care of myself.  How many people do you know who feel the same way?  If I could do one thing in my life, it would be to get every one else to feel that way about themselves.

Today, I hope that my mom has a calmer mind day, I hope every one stays safe and I hope the world takes one step closer to realising we all need to take care of each other and be kind, there should be no room for hate.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Friday YAY!

Friday 5th June 2020

Encourage one another and build each other up.

Well I managed to walk Alfie in-between the rain, ain't it cold this morning though in temperature and atmosphere in our house anyways lol!  My backs playing up too, so my yoga was very cautious and gentle this morning, but I still did it because I want that habit of doing yoga in the morning to continue, it'll be 7 weeks tomorrow.   I'm sat here eating a bowl of cold fruit too, so still working on that habit, might have to take the fruit an hour before in future so it's not so cold.  

 

I've enjoyed these Mango Fingers so much, I remember thinking ouch £3.75 that's so expensive when I saw them but I opted for this size because it worked out cheaper per kg than the smaller packs, I know it's probably cheaper to buy whole ones but I was trying to make it as easy as possible.  They've done 3 or 4 breakfasts though and then yesterday I realised they aren't much more than a Macdonald's big mac and I wouldn't think twice about buying one of them!  Need to change the way I look at the price of fruit for sure. 

I also ate this yesterday, it was only 5SP from M&S, 6SP if you're on Green, I really enjoyed it, I was surprised because it'll didn't look all that and I'm not the biggest fan of ready meals, but it was good. 

Another lovely morning of virtual workshops yesterday, loving that I'm getting virtual members from all round the country now, it's one positive thing coming from lockdown the getting to meet new people I'd never have met in any other circumstances, I do still miss seeing people face to face though and having those conversations at the scales!

The good news is though WW are planning to start re-opening workshops, this is what the email said; 

Workshops are coming back

They’ll look a little different at first, as we will reopen them as Express Workshops from early July in line with government guidance. We couldn’t be more excited to get you all connecting in person - at a safe distance, of course. More information on the specifics of these Express Workshops will be shared with you over the next few weeks - please keep a look out for the emails.

And the email also says virtual workshops will be continuing for the foreseeable future too, which is brilliant news for WW members.  

I plan to have a really quiet day of tv and crochet, my back is hurting so I'm not going to try and do any housework or anything, just gonna be lazy.  I don't envy anyone who needs to queue outside shops today, it's pouring down out there!  

I think I fancy Shepherds Pie today but it does depend on the use by dates on whatever's in the fridge lol, my life is being controlled by use by dates ;) 

Here's to enjoying Friday folks, let's make the best of the day. xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Another day, another chance

Thursday 4th June 2020 

No chance, no growth.

I'm now running late this morning!   Online for my virtual in exactly an hour, Alfie wanted a good walk and I've done the last day of the 30 day Home with Adrienne which was a good 40 minutes,  You wouldn't believe I've been awake since 4, I did lie in bed reading for half hour or so though, no regrets though, I'll be ready in time, just get through this blog fast and without to much though.

I've just smiled at the weather lady on Good Morning Britain, she used the word  'dramastically' which isn't a word, but she obviously couldn't decide between dramatically and drastically, I quite like it and may use it.  It sort of sums up some of the conversations we had in my virtual workshop last night, we're talking about taking charge of unhelpful thoughts.  One of the techniques discussed is known as Reality Check, last night we decided to add one and named it Drama Queen syndrome!  When we have quite dramatic thoughts surrounding our weight loss journey and behaviour and then behave in drastic ways to try and rectify the problem or to completely throw us of track so we behave DRAMASTICALLY lol. 

If you want to know more about that join me at 8.30am today or 9.45am Saturday when I'm on my virtual workshops, I'm in Dudley & Walsall connect group today and Wolverhampton group Saturday.

It's just so difficult to control our thoughts but I do think just acknowledging them is a great place to start and what's helped me the last few days is talking about them and writing them down to get them out of my head, it's helping me process the situation that I find myself in. 

Walking with Vicky yesterday was 2 hours of fabulous, we talked about everything that was going on for both of us, then we talked about what's happening in America which completely took us away from our own issues.  Then we stood and watched two coots, one sat on the nest, the other fetching and collecting twigs and lily leaves to help build their nest, it was beautiful to watch and realise nature goes on despite everything. 

According to the news now, we had more deaths in this country from Covid yesterday than the whole of Europe combined!  This is ridiculous, when will we get back to normal, when will we be able to get out and about hug one another again.  

That puts other things into perspective doesn't it, the only thing that matters is we LIVE!  Everything else can be sorted over time.  If the worse problem we have right now is excess weight, ain't we lucky!  

Let's work at staying healthy and alive, hopefully weight loss will be the side effect.  

Here's to an awesome day in any way, focus on the positives and be gentle on yourself. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

How you doing?

Wednesday 3rd June 2020

Never do anything during the day that will keep you awake at night!

A deep sigh, that was what I just did as I when to start writing this blog because I don't know what to write about, I'm sat here watching the news, now shaking my head in disbelief.  Conversations I've had with people over the last few days makes my heart ache and 2020 is just turning into a surreal year.  I don't think there's many who aren't worried about their future and the future of their country or the world!  It sort of makes weight watching seem a little well unimportant?  Or does it?

Course it doesn't, everything is easier when you're taking care of yourself and feeling healthy, don't get me wrong, I also know when everything around you isn't going well you're less likely to focus on yourself.  

All I can say is do what you can and try not to fall into what I like to call SOD IT SYNDROME because that ain't going to help at all, what it will do over time is add to your problems and lower your mood.  Also let's try not to overthink what's going to happen before it does, I've been guilty of doing that whilst out walking Alfie this morning, but until I know what my future is going to look like, I'm not going to stress about it.  That doesn't mean I can't think about it and look at my options, make plans etc but not catastrophise everything!

Today I'm going to reflect on the good I did yesterday not the bad and focus on how I can do healthy things today.  I've just enjoyed a bowl of fruit - mango slices, strawberries and raspberries and enjoyed them, this is becoming a habit, as soon as I turned that kettle on after the dog walk and yoga this morning, I thought 'fruit' and opened the fridge, so it's becoming automatic, the kettle being my cue.  

Yesterday I enjoyed these burgers, vegan too!  I can honestly say if they'd been on a burger bap with all the trimmings and relish etc, I don't think I'd have realised they weren't meat.  I could tell eaten like this but they were still tasty.  4SP for 1 or 7SP for both.  

I didn't snack at all yesterday, I did have pizza for my tea in the hope I could tempt mom, it didn't so I won't even try again especially as the pizza wasn't all that.  I had salad too, which I did really enjoy.  Oh and I pointed my shopping as I put it in the fridge and put the points on, some are much higher than I hoped, but instead of having a meltdown, I'll just eat zero foods for the other meals I eat that day.  

I also watch Gordon Ramsay travelling and learning about cooking which I thoroughly enjoyed and it made me want to get in the kitchen and experiment again with lentils and things.  He's also in a programme that started yesterday on the Food Network called Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate, 6pm, a cookery course which was really good, showing how to cook with simple ingredients, I'm going to continue to watch that and learn. 

It's raining outside, Piers Morgan is shouting at someone on the telly AGAIN, Alfie's asleep at my feet and moms sat next to me eating biscuits for her breakfast.  I'm past trying to get her to eat healthier, it's not worth the fight, especially as 5 minutes later she's forgot the conversation.  I'm going to do my best to have a positive day, distract myself with my crochet and look forward to my virtual workshop tonight 5.30pm.   The rain won't stop me going for a walk, I'm not made of sugar, I won't melt!

How are you doing?  What are you going to do today? 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Getting better ay I!

Tuesday 2nd June 2020 

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.

Focus on what you're doing well, not what you're struggling with.  I'm known for going at things like a bull at a gate and it's a behaviour I'd like to change, so after my initial panic over my mate bringing cake yesterday, I accepted that I'm not going to be a 'perfect' WWer overnight, if ever to be honest.  

This is why I started my day with zero scrambled eggs and some fruit, then amended my basket for my online shop to include healthy fruit.  I knew my two other meals wouldn't be low as they were the last of the "10 meal deal offers I'd had the week before from Waitrose, no room left in freezer and mom didn't want any.  I just can't bring myself to waste food when I'm trying to get my finances under control.  Stupid I know, but hey that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Now this Char Siu Pork was absolutely delicious!  It said it served 2, but I obviously need to work on my portions and again that's not happening overnight because I ate it all.  Having said that, it was 16SP and worth it, I had it with roasted cauliflower rice to keep the rest of the meal zero and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

 

Now if these chips hadn't been use by June 1st, I wouldn't have had them if I'm honest, the good news is I wouldn't buy these ones again either but there's 13SP on that plate with the beans.  Unfortunately mom didn't want the others so I ended up picking at some of the rest too!

I didn't snack in-between meals so that's a bonus, plus I walked for 2 hours (5 miles) with Vicky, plus my yoga which together earned me 12 FitPoints and tracked 100% honestly and I really enjoyed some wine, not drank it because I was stressed by mom.

See the thing is it depends how you look at things, on a negative you could choose to say bloody hell Bev you used 47SP on Day 1, that's a bit rubbish when you're daily allowance is 23, but I choose to see it as, well done Bev, you were accountable to yourself, under no illusion that you'd not eat that food and you're now prepared with lots of healthy food to lower those points today.  Oh and hell yeah you're eating Fruit and have done daily for over a week now, that's awesome - GO YOU! 

Yeah this week, I'm focusing on all the positives like mom being asleep sat next to me right now, rather than the negatives (we won't even write them).  

Dog walk and Yoga already done this morning, I'm ready for my Virtual workshop at 8.30 (Wolverhampton group), then I plan to go and spend some time in my kitchen.   oooo ooo I forgot to say I cooked these too.   4SP in all of them, I made them to use up the leftover cauliflower rice, just mixed them with eggs, dijon mustard and topped with 4SP low fat cathedral city cheese.  

I love those muffin moulds, find em on the www.weightwatchersshop.co.uk wesbite, there's a sale on this week too, don't forget to use my code I7IA5I (capital I's not 1's) if you're ordering .

Right I'm off, need to get ready for work!  Keep doing the best you can xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Me dramatic? Not a bit!

Monday 1st June 2020 
Nothing will work unless you do.

I'm sat here amazed this morning, I've got to admit for the first time in a long time the scales have surprised me, I was seriously expecting to gain another 2lb on top of the 2lb I gained last week, but I've only gone and maintained!  That's really made me feel more positive and that I can get back on some kind of track, yesterday I was just saying I should JUST DO IT JUNE, today I actually feel I can do it.  

I was lying in bed this morning, unexcited about the day ahead, yesterday was a difficult one with mom, I try not to think negative before I even start my day but meh, I was thinking that and oh ma'an I gotta start following the plan too lol, but now I've seen I've maintained it's really motivated me to do this, a few more tweaks here and there over the month and it won't be so difficult and I'll enjoy it once I get started, I do like a project after all. 

I'm going to check what shopping I need this morning, it'll mostly be fruit, yes I'm sat here eating satsumas and apples and running out - hah I never run out of fruit, I usually throw it out, that's if I even buy it in the first place!  I can almost say, I'm even starting to enjoy it a little, who knew that was possible.  Might buy the making of the garlic chicken recipe too, after posting it in my group yesterday, it made me fancy it, 

Garlic chicken curry
💙9sp per serving, serves 2
10 minutes prep time, plus marinating. Cook time 20 minutes
Small bunch fresh coriander
3 garlic cloves, crushed
2tsp garam masala
1tbsp mango chutney
2 x 125g skinless chicken breast fillets
1 tsp vegetable oil
1 onion, thinly sliced
400g tin chopped tomatoes
100g basmati rice
2 tbsp 0% fat natural Greek yogurt

Cut most of the stalks from the coriander and set the leaves aside. Finely chop the stalks and mix with the garlic, garam masala, chutney and a pinch of salt to form a paste.
Using a sharp knife, cut small slashes in each chicken fillet then flatten them slightly. Spread over the paste and marinate in the fridge for at least 30 minutes (or overnight).
Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan or wok and fry the onion for 5 minutes or until softened. Add the chicken and marinade and turn to coat in the onions. Fry for 6-8 minutes, turning the chicken and stirring regularly. Add the tomatoes and simmer for 5 minutes. Chop the coriander leaves and stir half of them into the sauce.

Meanwhile cook the rice to pack instructions, and mix the remaining coriander leaves with the yogurt.
Serve the curry with the rice and coriander yogurt.

Nom nom, I know members who've also just thrown it all in the slow cooker and it's worked out.

Okay, what does Just Do It June look like in reality, well for me, it's going to include a lot less wine, not no wine at all but less.  Continuing to drink the water and eat the fruit.  Work at having lower pointed meals and when I buy something that feeds two, freezing or saving the other half for another meal if mom doesn't want any.

It's also about realism and listening to my thoughts, then taking charge of them, again yesterday's virtual workshop set me up for the week, it's all about that and having a bit of a chat with Amy before we got started she pointed out I'd already had those unhelpful thoughts just before going on the workshop and I spiralled over them.  The conversation with my bestie via messenger went something like this; 

V "Plan a 0SP breakfast and possibly lunch as me & Kelly are coming round with goodies Monday."

Now this was where my unhelpful thoughts kicked in immediately, I knew they were planning on coming and bringing cake for mom, I hadn't planned on partaking in any of that as I've decided I'm doing Just Do It June, I can't start off with messing up the first day for fk sake,  now what am I gonna do.  Oh but hold on, it's cake I can live without cake, it's something I am able to resist, I'll be okay.

My reply;

"I don't eat cake anyways"

Oh wait for it, this was V's response and I loved and hated her all at once lol. 

V "Well guess what I know you & haven't bought u cake"

Oh bugga, I love that lady because she knows me so well but now I'm panicking even more because I said I'd start tomorrow and this is going to mess it all up, what am I gonna do, I'm never gonna get back on track, what's the bloody point.  I'm not willing to not meet up with friends for ever so I can lose weight, is any of this worth it. blah blah blah blah and so on and on!  I finally reply; 

"Can it be pointed as I really need to get on track, I can't keep gaining weight."

I got a thumbs up reply over 3 hours later lol, if I know V as well as she knows me, she could tell without me writing that I was being over dramatic, plus she'd gone out so I'll let her off.  But just for the record V, I bloody hate the thumbs up thing on Facebook, it's almost as bad a K on a text message ;0)

There is a great example of unhelpful thoughts, thanks to chatting with Amy, I got a grip, used the techniques we talked about in the virtual and realised I can enjoy whatever V and Kelly have bought me and still get a weight loss, plus getting on the scales this morning has proven I can maintain with having treats so.... Let's just do it in June and stop being dramatic Bev (yeah I'm now talking to myself in a blog, what can I say, I've not had a lot of human contact this last few months!)

Anyways, I leave you there, I've got to sort my shopping and get ready for my walk with V later, here's to Day 1 of June, I'm looking forward to this month and focusing on me. 

Mwah, luv ya 


Love me x  

JUST DO IT JUNE!

Sunday 31st May 2020
To succeed we must first believe that we can.

Last day of May, where did that month go ay!  I'm going to enjoy this last day then starting tomorrow, I'm going to do my very best to stay on track and lose some weight.  Yesterday was a really good day with mom, she was good 90% of the day thankfully, it would be amazing if she could be like that for the whole of June but I know that's not likely so I'm going to do what I can.  

I've already had my water and fruit, walked the dog and done my yoga, not bad to say it's only 7.30am on a Sunday morning.  Mornings are best for me, mom's at her best so I can get away with doing more without her sulking, although if he doesn't fall off to sleep it can all go tits up so actually, there is no rhyme or reason to the disease and I can't rely on anything being easy.  But as the quote above says, don't be afraid to start over, and I have more experience with her now and I need to stop using her as an excuse to eat.  I just stumbled across a post from 2018 on Facebook, I'm a stone heavier than I was then, so yep I've gained a stone in two years, but I also gained another stone since 2012, so really I can't keep doing that, 2 stone on in 8 years, mmm, I need to halt that don't I, although on a positive, I've maintained at this weight for 12 months so a tweak a week and hopefully I can turn the tide. 

Oh dear, I'm sitting hear and typing but I can feel me doubting myself!  I don't usually do that, I usually believe I can do it even if I don't do it, but these last few months watching myself lose and gain the same 4lb is making me overthink it!  That's why I'm so glad for the workshop this week, I'm on at 10 with Amy so I'll let her motivate me ready to start tomorrow.  The technique we're covering this week is; 

Take charge of unhelpful thoughts

I think actually putting the workshop together yesterday has made me realise I have been having these unhelpful thoughts myself and that's why I'm sat here with doubts  but I intend to practice what I preach this week and use the techniques I'll be sharing with members on how to respond to those unhelpful thoughts.  

I can do this, I have done it before, I've lived through stressful situations before and handled them and lost weight at the same time so I will do it again.  I've got this! 

Who's with me, who's up for making June the month we get our act together and actually follow the plan properly, there are not magic formulas, no lotions, potions or tablets, you've got to JUST DO IT haven't you and that's what I plan to do (see I went to change that to hope to do because of that doubt, those unhelpful thoughts, I'm going to be paying much more attention to my thoughts this week for sure and start to question them. 

Anyway I need to get a wriggle on if I'm going to be ready for my virtual workshop this morning, I want some breakfast, it'll probably be eggs as I'm trying to get tablets in Alfie, he is not playing the game at all, he spat the same tablet out 4 times yesterday, too bloody clever for his own good! 

mwah, luv ya, 

Love me x