8th April 2011

Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Unknown

Well I finally think my month long cold has gone, I wasn’t exhausted last night like I have been the last 3 Thursdays, so yay, I can get back on with my life with my usual levels of energy. Having said that, I had my first, “fat mirror moment” yesterday that I’ve had in a very, very long time, but don’t worry I soon recovered and realised I was the same size as I have been for the past year so it was obviously the outfit that was wrong not my body ;-) so I gave my tummy a cuddle and walked away smiling!

The way we think is so important because it affects us so much, always remember the most important person you will ever talk to is yourself, whether you do it out loud or silently in your head! The thing with thinking is it’s a lot like breathing we do it without even realising we’re doing it most of the time.

Yesterday, my inner critic was at work, I thought I’d smothered her a long time ago but obviously she managed to remove her gag long enough yesterday to give me a bit of faulty thinking going on, to try and undermine my confidence and point out that I’m not quite as slim as I used to be. Well I soon put her gag straight back on and I’ve tied her hands behind her back so she can’t remove it again! If you have an inner critic who constantly nags and you and highlights your weaknesses, trying to make you feel bad, you know her, she’s the bitch who constantly reminds you of your mistakes you’ve made and faults you have, because of course she’s trying to convince you that you need to be perfect, give her a name if it helps before you work on gagging her, I’ll call her Aggy for now. Unfortunately our Aggy’s take root in our subconscious from early childhood, and she gets fed and watered by four factors, your personal background, your previous experiences, the company you keep and the media, she usually starts her sentences with,

“I ought to…”
“I must…”
“I should…”
“I’m always getting in wrong”
“How could I have been so stupid?”

Recognising her yet? The thing is we are all very complex individuals, no one is ever going to be perfect, so Aggy’s just a bit of a nasty cow who doesn’t realise that mistakes happen, it’s all part of life. Instead she questions you and asks questions like;

“Why didn’t you….”
“That’s typical of you.”
“You always get that wrong”
“Don’t get ideas above your station”
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to lose weight, you can’t stop eating”

The real danger comes from whether you continue to believe what she says or not, you need to silence her, or start to have more conversations with our inner coach rather than our inner critic, I’m calling my inner coach Anne, that’s my sisters name, we get on now but we didn’t when I was young and we used to call her Aggy then ;D

Anne your inner coach has your best interests at heart, whereas Aggy your inner critic condemns you, your inner critic is trying to make you believe that you lack value and that your only worth comes through your performance or how you look and what other people think of you. She also wants you to feel that you should punish yourself if you fail to reach a particular standard.

WELL SHE’S WRONG! YOU’RE PERFECT RIGHT NOW!

If you want to improve yourself, that’s fabulous, get your inner coach to give you a hand, but don’t beat yourself up because it’s not constructive.

Repeat after me;
“I am of worth because of who I am, not because of what I do.”
“I learn from the past but I do not remain rooted in it. I know when to let go and when to move on.”
“I am responsible. I have choices. No one else plays as big a role in determining my destiny as I do.”
“I choose to see the bigger picture, focus on what is important and see things in perspective.”

If you want different results in life, change your thinking, smother Aggy, hug Anne, stop looking at the past and decide to move forward. xx