Monday 13th January 2025
I knew this weekend was going to be difficult but little did I know how difficult! I struggled through our chat at the huddle Saturday morning knowing it would be the last on for a while that Elle and I would do together as she is going to be starting Chemo this week and was going to tell our members after we'd finished via a video. It suddenly hit me as we were talking and I was trying (and failing) to hold back tears, thankfully I'd lost my ring that morning so those members who noticed my behaviour thought it was because of that.
When I got home my brother Mark called to ask if I was in and if he could come round, I said yes which as a good job as he was already outside! Imagine if I'd said I was out :)
We had a lovely day even though my heart and head was elsewhere a lot of the time, thinking about Elle having to tell her young daughter such difficult news. We took him with us to Millride shooting, where he loved it, he had a go and also bumped into an old pal who he chatted to for ages.
When we got back he suggested we went out for a few drinks and some food, said it could be my birthday treat a week early. It was so cold wasn't it Saturday so I didn't even get changed, just wasn't up for it but I did go down and we enjoyed a huge mixed grill which we all shared. Mark and Aryn chatted gaming stuff and he asked Aryn about his exams, told him if he passed them all he'd buy him a PS5 pro or the latest iPhone :) Aryn left us once he'd eaten, then I left about half eight, my head wasn't up for an all nighter and I was tired, I told them both to enjoy the rest of the night as I could tell he wanted a good night.
Well they came back at closing time and woke me up with the telly playing music and them talking above it, so I went down and said 'can we turn the disco down lads', 'why is it loud' was their reply, erm a little yea, and you're having to talk louder to hear each other. I walked away smiling, happy to see them enjoying each others company.
I woke about 3 ish with himself next to me and I could hear Mark snoring downstairs which again made me smile because he'd said earlier that he love to just get 6 hours sleep!
I woke at 7, my phone makes a noise to tell me to take my tablets, I did consider ignoring it but instead got up. As I walked down the stairs I could hear the extractor fan in the bathroom so I knew they'd left the light on - drunken dickheads I thought.
I went to turn it off, opened the door and Mark's lying on the bathroom floor - stupidly the first thought that went through my head was 'why are you sleeping on the floor in here Mark, you could've slept on the sofa!' Then I realised that wasn't the case, I tried to wake him, couldn't, I couldn't work out if he was asleep, unconscious or dead. I woke himself and called 999. They talked me through CPR whilst he went to get the defibrillator from the Ashmore pub but the ambulance arrived before he got back.
It was pointless anyway, he'd been dead since about half five.
The next few hours are a bit of a blur, contacting family members, talking to the ambulance people and police, dealing with the undertakers. His daughters and their mom arriving and his partner and her son. A hell of a day.
I don't really remember much of the rest of the day we just got through it, I ate a cold McDonalds that was fetched for me and a bit of some Chinese later before going to bed at half seven exhausted.
The practicalities begin now don't they, taking the piece of paper they gave us to his GP and he'll decide whether to do an autopsy or not, then registering the death etc.
At least I know he had a fab last day, he wasn't alone and his daughters didn't have to find him, I'm taking comfort in that. Almost 6 years to the day since he was diagnosed with cancer and told he'd probably not last the year - but he did because he's a stubborn bastard - YEP HE'S A LONGSDEN!
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