Sh&t happens!

3^rd July 2014

Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside.  BeYOUtiful. 

Bit of an odd subject for some, so early in the morning but I’ll talk about anything at anytime me!  I Can’t remember if I mentioned it in my blog, but there was a toilet accident in our house last weekend which we decided rather than get upset over it and make a ‘thing’ about it, we’d agree “Sh&t happens!”  We choose to laugh through the crazy in our house because otherwise it can get to you, it’s far too easy to take yourself too seriously in this world and get consumed by all the stresses and strains of life I believe.  Don’t get me wrong I don’t’ always laugh, but my screaming and shouting whilst being loud is always short lived, I’ll have my rant or my moan about whatever, then I’ll move on!  Anyway yesterday when the post arrived there was a small parcel for mom, she opened it and inside there was a framed photo of a grubby looking toilet shack and the words “Twinned with the Longsden’s toilet”, there was also a card with ‘Enjoy your loo, happy birthday’ but nothing about who’d sent it.  Instantly I knew it was something to do with my brother and when I read the info on the postcard I smiled and explained to mom that by buying mom this gift Ian had sponsored a toilet in a community in Ethiophia and it was helping to flush away poverty by investing in good sanitation and clean drinking water.  What a fantastic gift, a constant reminder of how good we’ve got it, however many toilet accidents that may occur in this house in the future!  (http://www.toilettwinning.org/what-is-toilet-twinning/ Toilet Twinning is raising funds for founder charities Cord and Tearfund, to enable people living in poor communities to have clean water, a decent toilet, and to learn about hygiene – a vital combination that prevents the spread of disease, reduces the number of deaths among children, and brings hope for the future.  (I’ve wrote this last bit because moms memory isn’t great and I print my blog out so she can be reminded of why that photos in the toilet as often as she needs to - I'll delete this bit before printing :) )  

So your thought for the day, whatever life throws at you at least you have a clean running fresh water from the tap and a clean toilet!

Choosing to let stuff go and focus on the happy makes a heck of a difference to the thoughts that occur in your head!  

Who would you be without that thought? 

It’s a great question to ask yourself when you find yourself over-thinking stuff or getting yourself wound up over something.  If you actually decide to lose the thought instantly, the feeling of relief can be amazing – try it, it’s brilliant honestly, you have to actually let go of the thought completely, not just say it and if you can it really is liberating.  I’m doing it all the time, if something starts to stress me out or wind me up I have this internal dialogue with myself which starts with that question, and then a lot of “what if” kind of thoughts follow but not the negative ‘what if’s’ like “what if it all goes wrong”, more “what if you do decide to let it go, then what happens?”  Because think about it, situations happen, things occur and you get to choose your response, which is better a stressed out negative “it always happens to me” kind of response or a “hey ho, so this has happened, now what….”

The first means I’d end up playing out a scenario in my head which goes along the ‘woe is me’ kind of theme and I’ll end up feeling totally miserable because not only has something not so good happened but I’ve decided to dwell on it and let it affect my mood even more than necessary.  However if I decide “okay so that happened and it’s not good but it’s happened and I can’t change that fact so what do I do know that’ll improve the situation?”  That gives me back some sense of control and I don’t have to let it affect my mood or any other part of my life.  Much better all round I think!

I am aware that my blogs have gone a little deep into moods and thoughts this week, it’s just because I’ve become aware of mine and I’m questioning them instead of letting them consume me which would be so easy as I see it happening every day to others.  Our thoughts come and go, however we can encounter real turmoil if we choose to believe some of those thoughts, which is why it’s good to question them and ask ourselves “is that really true?”

These are questions that keep me smiling, there’s not a magic trick, or a drug I take daily to do that, it’s just that I do my best to focus on the positives, and when I find myself getting dragged into that negative thinking, I bring out these questions to bring me back to a more happier reality because as I’m sure I said earlier in the week, at some point we all end up in a box, so we may as well enjoy the box-free years and make them happy. x

Have a great day BeYOUtiful, remember you’re gorgeous now you only need focus on getting healthy & happy you can’t be any more BeYOUtiful. x

It's nice to be nice!

2^nd July 2014

You have exactly on life in which to do everything you’ll ever do – act accordingly!

When I realised yesterday that we’d started the second half of the year, I  looked to see the weight loss I my meetings for the first half of the year and it was a staggering 12,357lb – 883 stone, how incredible is that.  It’s good to focus on the positives and celebrate the good stuff in life don’t you think, I try to do that all the time, it makes for a happier life.

When was the last time you thanked someone for a job well done, complimented them on something or just told them they were brill?  We’re all quick to complain when something isn’t done how it should be or if we’re dissatisfied but not so quick with the opposite behaviour.  Yesterday someone paid me a compliment over the phone and made my day, there’s nothing better than being told you’re good at what you do, and the fact that someone’s gone out of the way to tell you is just a great feeling.  So make today compliment day, get out there and say nice things, obviously mean them don’t just make stuff up for the sake of it – that’ ain’t the same!

One thing that’s making it hard to love at the moment is my computer, it takes longer to start up than ever and it keeps saying “not responding” how easy would it be to throw it out the window!  Instead I shall run the clean up maintenance thing this morning and see if that helps!  Until then I’ll walk at the computers pace rather than mine.

Had a lovely dinner yesterday ginger, chilli & lime chicken breast, garlic mushrooms, roast veg with brown rice 12pp, of course if you were on F&H you could make a version of that from scratch yourself, but I was going for convenience and opted for pre-ready stuff, the chicken was already flavoured, the mushrooms were even already garlicked ;) and the rice was microwave rice, I only used a third of the rice on each dinner and had the last third for tea made fried rice with mushrooms and an egg for 5pp with it.  The chicken was delicious and I would definitely have those in the freezer as a back up when I’m in a rush, 5pp each and in the 3 for £10 range in Waitrose (posh ay I! Not really that’s about the same price as you’d pay in most supermarkets and the quality was excellent).

Oh I do love food!  I really do and this week we’re talking about eating out which is one of my favourite things to do and something you can do on the Weight Watchers plan which is just one of many reasons why I love it.  By the end of the week, I just know I’m going to want to go out for a meal, I already want a Chinese takeaway after last night’s chat, it’s a good job my memory sucks because hopefully I’ll forget that soon enough.  There’s too much food in my fridge to be eating out this week, got to work my way through that lot first!  

I do love having a fridge full of lots of different good quality, healthy food, isn’t it funny what floats our boat, for me opening a fridge and seeing delicious food makes me smile.  I think it’s because when we were kids we were hard up, there wasn’t much choice in our house for your tea, and it was egg and chips or chips and eggs, not much of a decision there at all.  Which is probably why these days food shopping is something I enjoy so much, it makes me feel rich, not rich but you get my gist, it makes me free like we’ve come a long way, it’s the one thing I don’t skimp on, if it looks delicious and nutritious I’m putting it in the trolley.  I’d rather go without other things to eat well and my other thought pattern is, I’m eating less to maintain my weight so that food can be good quality grub!

I’ve bought fruit this week, the next step is to actually eat it, it’s not even that I don’t like it, I just don’t snack so never think about it, but there’s a couple of melons in the kitchen and I need to chop them up and eat them, that’s today’s mission – remembering to have melon for an afternoon snack!  

Anyway I’m waffling again, I do that when I haven’t got anything specific to blog about, I just thought to myself when I write who am I talking to and the answer is I don’t know really – anyone who’s listening ;) I just like to clear my mind of any thoughts before I start my day, it’s very therapeutic.

So have a fantastic day BeYOUtiful, don’t forget to go pay some compliments, make someone feel good like that lady on the phone did me yesterday.  Be the reason someone smiles today. Xx

Question your thoughts!

1^st July 2014

Just let it be. You may as well; it is.  Everything moves in and out at it’s own time.  You have no control.  You never did; you never will.  Byron Katie

Who would we be without our stories?  That came to my mind yesterday when I was trying to be ‘more’ than I’m capable of and over-thinking a situation, and it wasn’t the first time I’d gone through this thought pattern over the last month, I thought I’d processed and got it all sorted in my head but those damn hormones interfered and bought it back to the forefront of my mind!  Luckily I was aware of what was going on because of that thought, “who would you be without your story?” and I realised I was over-thinking the situation again, so rather than let it drive me crazy or get me worked up further I let it go.

I first heard that saying at a weekend workshop, it’s a phrase that Byron Katie uses and I just adore her thinking, she calls it ‘the work’ and it’s a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world (her words not mine).  By doing ‘The Work’ she says you can undo those thoughts and allow your mind to return to its true nature.  http://thework.com/thework.php

I don’t have to actually go through the process of doing the worksheet, I just ask myself if the thoughts I’m having are true and usually the answer is no, I’ve probably magnified a situation to make it out to be worse than it is.

The idea is to question your beliefs; she maybe comes across a little airy fairy if you’ve never read anything along these lines before but I think the idea of questioning your thoughts is great and I doubt if she’s the only person who’s ever come up with that concept but she was the first I came across and I’m grateful for that.

In a not so airy fairy way, if you are struggling with a situation, a belief, a thought then maybe ask yourself a few of these questions;

1. What is the proof that this is true? Am I confusing a thought with a fact?
2. Am I jumping to conclusions
3. Is there another way to look at this situation?
4. What is the effect of thinking the way I do? Is it helping or hindering me?
5. What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?
6. Am I using ultimatum or extreme words in my thinking? Such as “It always happens to me!” Does it – REALLY?
7. Am I blaming myself for something that isn’t my fault?
8. Am I taking things too personally?
9. Am I expecting myself to be perfect?
10. Am I expecting more of myself than I would someone else?
11. Am I only focusing on the negative?
12. Am I exaggerating the importance of it all?
13. Am I worrying about the way things should be, instead of accepting and dealing with them as they are?
14. Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?
15. Am I predicting the future instead of living it?

Just by asking myself questions 5, 9, 10, 13 yesterday I stopped my thoughts taking me to a place/situation that hasn’t happened and my favourite question I ask myself is always, “does it really matter, is any of it that important!”  And the answer for me is always NO because I look at my mom and realise we all get old, we all have one life, we all go through crap in those years and we all end up in a box at some point, so what happens in-between is all just stuff and should be enjoyed not stressed about!  It’s easier to just laugh at the madness that life throws at us or we are likely to go mad sometimes.

These questions can be put to any situation and I’ve just realised that they’d help for getting your head around what are your beliefs about you and your weight loss success and the journey you’re on.  Anyway it’s all a bit deep I guess for a Tuesday morning, but I was processing it all yesterday and felt the need to write it today.

Sharing another of Byron Katies quotes before I leave you, “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror”

BeYOUtiful. Xx