Reality is totally different from fiction. In fiction, things need to make
sense. Paulo Coelho
Well I
need to get with it, I’ve been up half hour so far and not even started, so if I
hope to walk Alfie I need to get a wriggle on, I think 3 days in Rome has
turned me into a lazy Italian wannabee!
When I
saw the quote above yesterday I nodded, because reality really can be total
nonsense can’t it, and very unfair at times as it was yesterday to one of my
very dear friends. And it can be very
difficult to stay positive and focused and realistic at such times.
I’ve
just seen my little book of lifes rules on my desk and picked it up, if you
read my blog a few weeks ago you’ll remember one of those rules is “You will be
presented with Lessons”, well some of those lessons suck, that’s what I say not
the book. The book says, “you are
enrolled in a full-time informal school called ‘life’. Each day in this school you will have the
opportunity to learn lessons. You may
like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your
curriculum. Mmm I still say they suck!
It goes
on to say we are each here to learn our own meaning of life and will be presented
with numerous lessons along the way which are specific to us. Learning these lessons is the key to
discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life. Mmm I bet my mate, if she’s reading this
doesn’t want her latest lesson for sure!
As you
travel through your life, you may experience very challenging lessons that
others don’t have to face, while others spend years struggling with challenges
that you don’t need. It’s important not
to compare your path to others, you can’t have someone else’s life and
hopefully you don’t want anyone’s but your own.
As you
strive to discover and learn about yourself, you will most likely encounter the
basic lessons of openness, choice, fairness and grace. That’s what the book says anyway, I’m just
going to look at choice and fairness because I think we sometimes feel we don’t
have a choice and that things are just not fair.
Choice
is the exploration of desire and then the selection of action. There are no neutral actions, even the
smallest gesture has a direction to it.
Although used synonymously, choice and decision are not the same thing –
decisions are made in your mind, whereas choices are made in your gut. Decisions come from the rational, reasonable,
weighing of the circumstances; choices come from your essences and an
attunement with your higher self. It’s
always important to realise you always have a choice.
As for
fairness, life is not, in fact, fair, and you may indeed have a more difficult
life path than others around you, deserved or not. Everyone’s circumstances are unique, and
everyone needs to handle theirs differently.
If you want to move toward serenity you have to move away from thinking,
“it’s not fair”. If you’re focusing of
the unfairness of circumstances, you’re comparing yourself to others rather
than appreciating your own uniqueness.
When
you consider the hardships of life – the disappointments, hurts, losses,
illnesses, all the tragedies you may suffer and shift your perception to see
them as opportunities for learning and growth, you become empowered. You can take charge of your life and rise to
its challenges, instead of feeling defeated, victimised, or cast adrift.
I’m reading a book by Marc Wood called
Personal Best who was diagnosed with cancer as a teenager, had his leg
amputated and went on to win four Paralympic gold medals, after the initial
shock, he took back his power and achieved his personal best – so can you.
Whatever
your personal circumstances are at the moment, remember you always have a
choice, don’t let anyone take away your power.
And
keep a sense of humour, that’s always helpful, the health benefits, both mental
and physical are well documented. A good
laugh can diffuse tension, relieve stress, and release endorphins into your
system, which act as a natural mood enhancer.
Much more beneficial than eating a doughnut!
So
give yourself permission to laugh – you’ll be amazed at how quickly a crisis
can turn into a comedy when you invite in humour.
And
remember there’s always someone worse off as this quote implies;
“I
cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet” (Author
unknown)
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