I'm a Blue Bird

Tuesday 31st December 2019
If at first you don't succeed, smile, you've just proved you belong here x

Well my day started just before 4am, mom woke up disorientated and feeling that she wasn't in her own bedroom.  This is how my life will be for the foreseeable so I have to learn to adapt to it, which I'm doing pretty well.  I do however have to not let it affect my healthy eating and weight loss efforts, that's my challenge for the year ahead.

Day one in the bag, I'm following the blue plan #BlueBird. I ended on 22SP so even carried over a point, I was gutted I couldn't find my Fitbit yesterday morning, I found it as I was just about to get into bed, but I tracked 2 dog walks which earned me 6SP, I ate fruit too, satsumas and a banana.  I nipped to Aldi, wasn't impressed with the dates on their veg and lack of veg so only bought a bit, got me some apples and oranges, going to add them to my diet.  Aldi didn't have any quark so I didn't get to try out the crustless quiche.

These were my meals, I tried to focus on my Blue plan zero heroes;

I was initially going to have the Spanish omelette which was use by 30/12 until I scanned it and it was 19SP, not a chance, it don't taste that good.  Instead I made a zero mushroom omelette.  I'll do an online shop the weekend and make sure everything is pointed before it goes into the basket. 

I had salmon and cauliflower rice with roasted veg for my main meal, and no I won't be roasting broccoli or sprouts again, they're not nice like that.  Still loving the roasted cauliflower rice though, just a bit of spray light and salt and roast for about 12 minutes, delicious. 

  

I had a 3SP salad sandwich for my tea because my body wanted some carbs! 

How did I resist all the good stuff that was left?  I gave it away!  

My lovely brother came round to help me sort my toilet / drains problem, which we did by the way, me a moron, I won't have it said - MUCH!  I struggled to try and get the drain cover off the other week when the toilet was gurgling and I couldn't, turns out I should've taken the screws out the four corners first!  In my defence, they weren't visible then as then drain was covered in dirt. 

Anyway, my kitchen is now a high Smart Pointed stuff free zone, whether it be fresh, frozen or out the cupboard.  I even sent the dog treats Alfie wouldn't eat (fussy bugga).  Full on back to basics in this house, can't eat what isn't there!  So that's your task today, have half hour sorting your kitchen cupboards and fridge, get your WW app and point up stuff, there's nothing you can't enjoy if you track it and know the points.

How about for 2020 we change our thoughts, it might just change our world!

Instead of saying 'I can't', say 'I could!'

Instead of believing, 'This is just how I am', start believing 'I can change'.

Instead of 'What if I fail?', think 'What if I succeed' Take a minute to think about what that looks like.

Are you thinking, 'It's easier said than done!' and you'd be right but you know what, 'It might work and there's no harm in giving it your best shot!'.

Been there, done that ay, you already know all this stuff.  How about knowing and acknowledging there is always more to learn and knowing it all is pointless if you don't put it into practice.

Yeah let's make 2020 the year we embrace change, create new stories and see the easy options as boring, let's embrace the tough stuff, nothing worth having comes easy after all.  Let's stop repeating those harmful patterns by acknowledging them and working on untangling them one at a time.  Let's confront our feelings and emotions instead of eating and drinking them!  I'm not doing dry January but I will be cutting down a LOT, I've drunk far too much this past week.

Make time for yourself, put your WW workshops in your diary as appointments that can't be cancelled, accept all the help and support that's available.   Yes life is challenging but it's also incredible.  We may not always have control but do we always need control, life doesn't need to be perfect and we can handle difficult things, heck I've proved that the last couple of years.  6 years today mom was allowed to come home from hospital in Wales, that was a life changer for us, I didn't realise how much at the time but as tough as it's gotten over these past 6 years, there have also been some great moments including mom and I having a cuddle this morning as she started to realise she was in her own bedroom.  Survival may be hard but it's beautiful and it's better than the alternative isn't it.

So start to notice your behaviours and actions, then choose to do something different.

As I look back over the last 12 months, I think about my siblings and I can honestly say I'm proud to be related to them, mom did a damn good job of all of us, my eldest brother is living with terminal cancer and making the most of life, my middle brother has fostered and trained dogs this year and help rehome them, he's so good at it, I'm super impressed, my youngest brother has helped me when I've needed him, he's helped keep me sane with our walks throughout the year and my sister, well where do I start, she's been my rock, I couldn't have continued working this year without her.  Yeah we're all a bit odd in our own ways but we're bloody awesome too, thanks mom xx

This coming year, let's all let go of being perfect, stop judging ourselves, let go of the self-doubt (hell we can do this), stop worrying, what will be will be, oh and how about we cut down on the complaining, it's draining.

Instead let's spend more time taking care of ourselves, it's not selfish, it's necessary, let's focus on the now, the 24 hours ahead of us.

I like the sound of all that, now to put it into practice, so I'm off to chop an apple and segment an orange, I might have a bit of egg on toast too, need some energy for the day ahead.  I love Tuesdays, busy morning and hoping to see lots of new members joining.

Need to go plan my meals for the rest of the day, what you having? Let's have a good day shall we?

Mwah, luv ya
  

Love me xx

That's my Christmas over, back on it now

Monday 30th December 2019
We can't always choose the music life plays, but we can choose how we dance to it. 

Well my weekly weigh-in is telling me Christmas week cost me 2.5lb, which can be added on to the 1.5lb I gained the week before Christmas!  8.5lb gained in total since November, damn you December you truly are dangerous and I'm ready to get my healthy back.  The good news is I've ended the year lighter than I started it, maybe only a few pounds but that'll do me. 

I'm so ready to eat some healthy food, today will mostly consist of eggs and fish, I've already eaten 2 satsumas and had a glass of water, I just wished satsumas tasted that good all the time!  I need to stick with the fruit and try to eat one or two pieces a day.  

Now I had a delicious Higgidy cauliflower cheese and brocolli quiche yesterday but 27SP is a lot of points for anything, although to be honest I thought it would be much higher, it was 400g, large enough to share.  I'm thinking of making a crustless quiche version, I'm not a huge fan of pastry to be honest so can live without that part.  I'm going to experiment and use quark as it's zero on the Blue and Purple plan, and low on Green.  I'll let you know if it works but I've got to get my hands on quark first!  I could make a frittata instead and leave the quark out! 

This is the standard recipe I reckon you can just swap cottage cheese for quark.

Crustless Quiche, 

50g low fat cottage cheese 
3 eggs

Add any veg you like, onions, peppers, sweetcorn, peas etc

2 chopped bacon medallions.  

Whisk together and cook on 180 for approx 25-30 mins.

I just found this great recipe for using fruit and quark whilst having a look through my stuff, it's a great way to have a bit of something sweet whilst adding to your 5 a day. 

Peach fool

Serves 4, 0 SmartPoints 💜💙, or 2SP Serving 💚 

1 can peaches in juice, drained 

150g Quark 

300g 0% fat natural Greek yogurt 

Puree the peaches until smooth. 

Separately mix quark and yogurt together. 

Layer the puree and quark mixture into small glasses and add a swirl on top. Chill for at least an hour before serving. 

then of course there's always 

2 ingredient pancakes

Serves 4. SmartPoints per serving 0 or No Count

4 bananas, mashed

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 tsp salt

Calorie controlled cooking spray

or I'm going to make the WW porridge muffins, 1 packet of porridge mixed with 1 banana and 1 egg, then bake in muffin cases, I really like these. 

I was going to talk about how New Year is about making choices and changes that you plan to keep too, but heck I like talking about food and ideas to get us back on track is way more important I think.  Which is why WW are giving us all a kick start booklet this week and next in your workshops, lots of recipes and meal plans to get us back on track. 

Yeah I need to get my cook back on, I need to get my books out and go back to basics, nothing better than a new year project and why not make that me!  My fridge is empty of junk, don't get me wrong there's still things like cheese in there but that can be enjoyed in moderation, same with the stuff in the freezer, if I focus on my zero heroes, I can add the goodies from the freezer to them as and when I fancy.  But today I really fancy fish, either salmon or tuna, undecided yet. I'm thinking with noodles as I've been craving a pot noodle since we started collecting them for the Street Ministry (still collecting btw plus any unopened Christmas goodies you want out your house, we'll take them too, they'll be grateful for biscuits, cakes, chocolates, there's the food bank for other stuff too, toiletries, tins, anything thats edible or useable).  Yeah noodles or spaghetti, I'm going to look for a recipe either on the WW app, in the new MyWW Cookbook or in my WW books, yeah I'm feeling positive and ready to do this.

So yesterday I asked you to add some fruit to your day, the day before it was drink some water, today mmm, I'll give you a choice, either add some walking or cook a healthy meal from scratch.  Yes I know it's Monday, I know it's back to work for some but you know what, this is to prove that neither of those things have to take a long time, a 20 minute walk will do you the world of good and you can easily knock a meal up in 20 minutes or less, I do that all the time.  I mean an omelette takes minutes, that counts as a meal from scratch!

A very lovely lady bought me a Winnie the Pooh diary, I don't really use a diary, I do it all on my phone so instead I'm going to use it as my WW diary, there's not a lot of space each day but I can write in the points I use, the FitPoints I earn and some positives, I have my app for the tracking etc this can be a book to look at each morning and motivate myself to keep going.  I need to remember I need to keep going, I also have an actual Pooh bear sitting on my windowsill watching me too.

Let's start as we mean to go on, positive and believing that we can do this.  Here's to preparing for a new year, a new decade, a new you maybe? 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Now to enjoy the day before the diet!

Sunday 29th December 2019
Before you step into 2020 be sure to cancel your subscription to 2019's drama and negativity.

Getting ready for 2020 but not quite ready to let go of Christmas 2019, I'm starting to think about my 2020 mindset and I plan to let go of what's gone, be grateful for what remains and l'll look forward to what's coming.  2019 hasn't been the easiest year with mom but I've survived and I shall continue to as we enter the next decade, the one where I hit my 50s, the plan to be fit and 50 is a bit too late to hit but I can get fit in my 50s for sure, so that's my plan, I'm having my last day of not worrying about it today, then tomorrow I'll start thinking healthier!  After all failure is nothing more than an opportunity to revise your strategy.

I loved seeing all my members yesterday, standing on those scales and smiling as they took their post Christmas result, I shall step on in the morning and draw that big fat line once more.  I've managed to freeze a lot of the food I bought and thankfully because of WW it's all food I can eat as part of a healthy eating plan throughout January.

I intend to be that person, you know the one that everyone laughs at because they do the same thing year in, year out.  The one who goes on a predictable 'health kick' in January because you know what, if I don't start somewhere, I ain't got a chance at all have I.  I genuinely need to do this, I'm watching my mom deteriorate and her eating habits aren't helping at all, she feels sick most of the time and that's because of the years of abuse she's given her stomach.  I should learn from her mistakes really shouldn't I.

I'm not going to do any of the extremes out there, I won't be going dry in January or doing Veganuary,  although I do like the odd vegan meal (notice I didn't say I like going dry!), I will try to include more veggie and vegan food for sure, I love fish and eggs though so I'll be adding plenty of that to my diet, cutting back on red meat and the processed stuff, I've got a little addicted to pork sausages over the past month, I need to lose the taste for them, although in moderation they're okay, it's the fact I'm enjoying them on a baguette from Greggs at 17SP that's the issue, 2 on a couple of rounds of bread at home would be half those points.  That's what it's all about see, having what you fancy just less of it or less often.  

I won't be going out and buying a load of food as my freezer is full, so I'll be working my way through that and the cupboards and just buying fresh stuff where needed.

Actually what I'll really be doing is getting back on the WW Wagon because it works doesn't it!  I'm all about the blue plan but the beauty of MyWW is that it now appeals to everyone, you can match your food personality to the plan that suits you.

With 2020 on the doorstep, don't make resolutions without an action plan, the secret to success is right in your hands.  No one is coming to make your year successful, this life of yours is 100% your responsibility.

I'm going to use today to think about my action plan.  I shall continue to drink my water and hey I think I'll add in some fruit today too, I have some satsumas and bananas that are reminding me they were bought to be eaten!

Mwah, have a lovely Sunday, luv ya

Love me

Last weekend of the year

Saturday 28th December 2019
It's never too early or too late to work towards being the healthiest you.

Okay let's start crawling back to healthy a little step at a time, work on getting those beneficial habits back in place, today's being to drink more water.

That's not so difficult now is it?  If we work on one habit at a time, it doesn't seen so difficult.  Why?  Oh I'm not going to list all the reasons you should do it, just trust me, there are lots, there are also lots of things that not drinking water causes, so either trust me or google the whys.  

I'm also getting back to 100% tracking today, just to get me back into the habit of doing it without the worrying about getting within my points allowance, that'll start Monday.  

What's your plan?  Do you have one?  Are you going to get one?   This is the last weekend of 2019, why not use it as a time for reflection, here are some questions you could ask yourself, choose those that stand out for you. 

What went well this year?

What didn't go so well? 

What do you want to do the same next year?

What do you want to do differently?

What did you say yes to that you wished you'd said no to?

What was time well spent?

What was money well spend?

What did you accomplish or complete?

What are your favourite memories?

What felt successful about the year?

What did you learn about yourself?

Did you overcome any obstacles?

Who supported you?

Who did you enjoy supporting?

What was the best advice you received this year?

What advice do you wish you'd given to yourself on January 1st 2019?

What is the biggest lesson you've learned this year/.

There's plenty there to keep ya busy and out of the fridge.  No matter how you're feeling right now about how you've eaten the last few days (or weeks) remember one bad meal won't make you fat just like one good meal won't make you thin.  Here's to finding some balance. 

I won't lie, it's been a tough year for me, but I've learned more about myself and I'm grateful for that.  Most importantly, I'm still smiling, I'm doing everything in my power to make mom feel safe and looked after.  It's been a 3am start kind of morning but once I'd calmed her down she went back to sleep, bless her she's just this minute woke up and come onto the landing relieved to see me as she thought she wasn't in her own house and didn't know how she was going to get home (how awful must it be trapped in that mind), she was stressing about how we were gonna get all this stuff in the car ;(  At 3am she called me to help her get out of the bedroom as she was disorientated and was trying to get out via the cupboard up the corner.  I know I shouldn't laugh but that did make me smile, it's better than crying ain't it.  

I'm going to go and make her a cuppa and sit with her for a little bit before getting ready for work.  How blessed are we to have each other x

Luv ya, mwah 

Love me xx

Leftovers for Breakfast - hell yeah!

Friday 27th December 2019
A strong person looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.

WOO HOO thanks to a very generous Christmas gift voucher, I've just had £85 worth of lovely yarn for £30 thanks to the January sale, a 15% first time ordering code and the voucher! How flipping good is that, gonna make myself a nice cardigan, now just to find a pattern. although I didn't crochet yesterday as my backs in bits and I'm not sure that the crochet is helping, we were in bed by half 6 just so I could lie down. I've put a big thick quilt on top of my mattress just to make it a little softer, although I don't think my mattress is the only culprit, not just like that overnight. At least I've slept, yeah I've had a good long sleep, woke a few times but went back to sleep pretty quickly and it's not hurting quite as much as when I went to bed thankfully. I'll dose up all day on anti inflammatories and hope that helps ease it.

Ooo the highlight of yesterday though has to have been my dinner, oh yes, it was immense.

Honey and mustard parsnips, spuds in proper fat, roasted onions and carrots nom nom and DOH, it wasn't until I'd eaten it that I remembered the mash in the microwave lol. And guess what's going to make it even better, I have a spare for my breakfast, I can diet in January! I'll need to as well lol.

Other than that and a bacon, egg and mushroom sarnie for breakfast, the only other thing I had was a packet of twiglets and some booze, and even that I didn't go crazy with. Back to work tomorrow morning for a few hours so I won't be drinking lots today either so hopefully the damage at the scales won't be too bad, I did step on this morning though and it's not looking good - oops, we'll not think about it till Monday in this house I reckon, this is the nearest to a holiday I've had this year so I'm shutting the curtains and pretending we're in Wales!

Mom stole my wrap I crocheted, look at that face, how could I resist it!

Okay, I know a lot of you are getting back on it today, hear that? That's me clapping, well done you, I'm gonna join ya on Monday, just remember it may not be easy and you may slip but that's okay, one step at a time I say. I may not be getting back to trying to lose weight till Monday but I'm not going to be eating ridiculously either, I just have nice food in the fridge I want to eat without pointing it, starting with that spare dinner!

I'm off to look at another wool website that's got a sale on, gotta be done, then we'll try for another chilled out day, moms never gonna be 'well' but if I can keep the calmness then it makes it better, so here's to calm x

Mwah, luv ya


Love me

Emotional ain't I

Thursday 26th December 2019
We take photos as a return trip to a moment otherwise gone

Well we survived the day!  I honestly didn't think it was going to go well at first, mom didn't wake in the best mood, poor love just feels poorly all the time, so it's not surprising, but thankfully she went back to sleep and woke up feeling a bit better.  We had half hour sitting on her bed I gave her the gift that my sis had left her, the only one she hadn't already opened!  She loved it, it was a purple glasses case from WW, she already has two that she keeps her glasses in but the strap broke of one of them.  Bless her, when I said you can throw the broken one away now and went to pick it up, she snatched it back and said, "NO! I'll find a use for it!"  I knew before I said it, that was the response I'd get but I couldn't resist.  She chatted with me and we had what could've been mistaken for a dementia free moment.

I know as a person, I can be a bit cold, and one of the things I've never really got is when people get over emotional on certain days about love ones that have died, like on their birthday, or the anniversary of their death or at Christmas, probably because I've never got that way myself, I barely remember my dads birthday let alone the day he died.  However, now I get it, I have been really emotional at times over the last few days, Facebook has a lot to answer for!  Memories, that's what causes it and I know I still have mom, but I don't really, this woman in my house still has my heart but she isn't the mom I went on holiday with each Christmas and had so much fun with, the crazy bitch who would play on the beach for hours on end on a freezing cold winters day!

I used to book cottages where I could see the beach so I didn't have to stay with the crazy cow! 

I've always been a huge fan of photos they really are my memory, I struggle to remember things but if I see a photo I've taken, I can remember everything about that moment in time, the two below were from the best Christmas I ever had and I've had some brilliant Christmases I really have but this one, well it was THE ONE that I truly appreciated family, friends, love and the true spirit of Christmas and the joy of watching kids open their pressies, just so much fun.  We lost the turkey, listened to the same song over and over again as Jen learned a 'new' dance, did a family crossword together, watched Jen have a meltdown when she couldn't do something, listened to Will tell us how bored he was oh and Alfie got put in the naughty corner a few times!  It was the holiday he learned what his todger was for other than weeing!  And the year mom and I were stuck in a bedroom watching him as it was Christmas morning and we weren't allowed to get up until the kids woke.

Yeah I now know why people get more emotional at certain times of the year, my tears haven't been sad tears really though, they've been tears as I remember the good times.    These are my two favourite Christmas photos,

This was the Christmas I couldn't work the blinds, so funny and I still can't work blinds!  

We can't pout either 😂

And this was just the best, it ended up being a free holiday but that's another story, it was the Christmas we spent the morning exploring and the afternoons drinking Sangria.  Now that is my mom as I want to remember her, always laughing 💕

I've noticed I don't take so many 'memory' photos these days, I need to rectify that, I mean yesterday we just got a photo of Alfie and our dinner, mom wanted egg and chips so that's what we had, those chips are cooked in beef dripping, oh my days were they good, of course with it being Christmas you have to have sprouts and I do love a bit of braised red cabbage.  So much so that for my tea I had cheese cobs with the rest of the red cabbage on.

He's still gorgeous ain't he, even if he is a little devil.

There were no memorable moments worth storing yesterday but I'm thankful that she didn't go full on Sundowning crazy as she can, she took a dip but nothing I couldn't cope with, I'm used to it now.  

Actually the one thing that did make my day was my brother popping in first thing and having a quick natter to my bestie on the phone.   I have to say my mom did a damn good job on her kids, as she said yesterday when he'd gone, all her kids have done her proud, they're all good, kind, thoughtful, hardworking individuals.  And we are, all 5 of use, my brother got his wife such a thoughtful gift and instead of just giving it to her, it was given in clues, how lovely is that!  And thanks to Facebook, I got to see her reaction, see social media is a wonderful thing if used probably.

Anyway, I'm going to go have a soak in the bath to see if it will help my pain in my back that's running down my spine, then I shall give Alfie a good long walk - well a long time, not distance!  Boxing Day is the day I could my Christmas roast dinner, mom gets to pick on Christmas Day and I get Boxing Day, I've got chicken, roasters, parsnips, sprouts, carrots, I think I'll do roast onions too, maybe stuffing oh and mash potato nom nom nom, I'll make more than one and I think I'm going to have to freeze some of the stuff in the fridge, after all I only have one mouth and 4 days before it's all out of date - DOH! 

I hope you've taken lots of photos as reminders but to be honest if it's a good one, you only need one photo to bring back all the memories you need, that photo of Alfie above will bring back the Christmas morning on moms bed memories back for me year after year.  

Here's to another calm day (fingers x'd) 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Merry Christmas

Wednesday 25th December 2019
Merry Everything and a Happy Always 

Well this idiot has been awake since half three - DOH!  It's not even moms fault either, she's spark out, at least I haven't got a hectic day ahead, the only thing I've got to focus on is keeping mom calm and happy and that's always easier when it's just the two of us.  My brother Mark came yesterday so I know we'll be family free today which is a relief.  Bless him, he just looked at me as he was leaving, having spend a couple of hours with mom and said, 'I just don't know what to say, I don't know how you're doing it'.  

I had lots of different versions of mom yesterday from snappy to being really caring and asking for the first time ever if she was keeping me from going out with my friends, bless her heart.  She did make me chuckle though when she asked if I'd got her some germoline and I replied "yeah I got you 2, one for up one for down", the look on her face was a treat as she panicked and said, "what am I putting it on down there!"  Me "one for upstairs and one for downstairs mom"

Mom "phew I wondered where you expected me to put it then!" 

Now the only 'job' I have to do today is sort out the food in the fridge into date order so I know when to eat the meals I've bought ;) Oh and the other one of course is to walk Alfie, who once again was an odd boy yesterday, but bless him he's hard and fast asleep too on moms bed. 

I had a busy Christmas Eve workshop yesterday morning, and whether my members lost or gained they were all in good spirits, we had a lovely chat and the morning flew by.  As expected the evening one wasn't quite so busy, I'm glad to say everyone had obviously gone home to start their celebrating as it should be.  

I hope everyone has a very, lovely day, I plan to start mine with an Irish coffee I reckon and maybe a couple of painkillers, my shoulder blades are hurting this morning, I think I need a new mattress asap, hopefully I'll pick one up in the sales.  

Ooo Christmas tele to look forward too, what more can a girl want, oh yeah, egg and chips for dinner, that is what the lady wants, that is what she will get.  Today is the one day you shouldn't think about the points in anything at all, just eat, drink and enjoy.

Mwah Merry Christmas, luv ya,  

Love me.

It's only Christmas Eve

Tuesday 24th December 2019
There is nothing more precious than time.

Well it's Christmas Eve, hopefully you've all done everything, I've not done gifts at all this year, not even for mom so all I had to do was enjoy my food shop couple of hours yesterday and let's say a £200 gift card don't go that far in Waitrose you know!  Although I've got plenty of food to last me till the new year.  Proper food too, I was pretty restrained on the other stuff, I fancied some peanuts so I bought the smallest bag, got my obligatory twiglets a 6 pack, booze wise I resisted all the christmassy drinks like sherry and advocaat but did treat myself to a bottle of ginger wine and a bottle of dessert wine, they'll be my treats.  I resisted all the mini sausages and the like too.

We're having egg and chips for Christmas dinner as per moms request and when I asked her if she wanted chunky chips or fries she said, 'ooo I like both' so we're gonna have half and half.  I have bought a very posh lazy chicken dinner for the day after though, the potatoes, parsnips, sprouts all prepared posh Waitrose style, all I've got to do is pop them in the oven, I'll enjoy that and it'll make a couple of dinners so that'll do me twice.  nom nom.

We ended up having KFC for dinner though a treat for my sister for little with mom and giving me a morning to myself, it was the best chicken I've ever had from there, freshly cooked, I had to wait 20 minutes for it.  But what have they done to the chips, blah, I didn't have no problem leaving them, not nice.  Why mess with what wasn't broken I say!

I've got a lovely day ahead of me, I know most people wouldn't want to work on Christmas Eve but I'm looking forward to seeing lots of my members this morning (I doubt I'll see more than a handful tonight but I'll be there for anyone who needs me).  How lovely to see so many people I like so close to Christmas Day.  I'm hoping some of my members from other workshops nip in and I have a very, busy buzzing morning to set me up for 3 days with mom which could go either way.  Last night she wouldn't settle, I was shattered having been awake since 3am that morning and mom kept talking to Alfie, asking me to do things so it was after midnight when I finally go to go to sleep, coffee needed this morning.

She's not a well old lady at all, but she was cheered yesterday by a letter from Golden Balls, aka her favourite..... then she added son eventually!  She read that letter over and over and he's going to start writing to her regularly with tales of his childhood and the adventures he got up to with mom, me  and others.  I plan to type them up, we're onto a best seller there honestly!

Anyway, it's time to get my backside into gear, unload my car one more time before Christmas, I nearly said this year but I'm open Saturday ain't I doh.

I doubt you'll read my blog tomorrow (if I write one) so I'll wish you a very merry Christmas, enjoy spending time with those you lose and if you're on your own, enjoy the quiet (I'm a little jealous there!).

Mwah, luv ya


Love me x

Shopping Day - hurray!

Monday 23rd December 2019
"Made with love" means I licked the spoon and kept using it!

I caved yesterday, as mom stayed in bed I started cleaning up downstairs and before I knew it, I'd done the living room and put up a few Christmas decorations in the hope that it would cheer mom up.  When she did get up, she was much better than she had been the day before thankfully, she even ate some proper dinner, fish and oven chips with peas.  We had a lovely calm day, Alfie insisted on two walks, he's apparently learned to spell, and when I said to mom when she was asking what was the matter with him, 'he wants a W A L K' he came straight to me and did this; 

How can you say no to that face!  Well I could easily to be honest but he persists so it gets on your nerves in the end and you give up.

Oh and yes I've done my pre Christmas weigh in this morning and I gained the pound and a half I'd lost last week, so not too bad, just one more week to get through and we can get some kind of normality back.  I'm certainly not going to worry about it before Christmas, I hope to have a couple of calm, enjoyable days off, just need to make sure mom doesn't go crazy with the biscuit tin.

I'm off to Waitrose today to do my Christmas food shop with my gift voucher, I'm definitely looking forward to that, no shopping list, I shall just pop in the trolley whatever I fancy, I'm thinking an indoor picnic with all those things I don't buy because of the points, coleslaw, pesto pasta, cheese, pastrami, nom nom nom, I could go on but I won't.  Yeah it's the deli counter that floats my boat and bread, the good stuff, not the sliced.   Just having the time to chill and have a walk round is going to be the best.  The Christmas food shop has always been the one favourite thing I like to do at this time of year, it was usually the start of our holidays but I will still enjoy it knowing we're at home, it's just good to have time to rest, not to have to be anywhere and to spend with those you love. 

However you plan to spend your Christmas break or even if you’re working, take care and enjoy. Don’t worry about your weight for a few days, be happy in the knowledge that you can lose weight next year. 

Holidays are not an excuse to go crazy, but they are also not a time to cause yourself distress. This week, the guidelines are:

1. Enjoy yourself.

2. Eat what looks wonderful, pass on the ordinary. In other words, choose the scrumptious!

3. Take the time to enjoy the food. Try to determine what, if anything, looks especially good to you? You might gain some insight into why particular foods call to you.

4. Do not think you must consume the leftovers. The week between Christmas and New Year's is not annual "Eat the Leftovers" week but instead it's a regular week like any other. If you have lots of goodies staring at you, get rid of them, give them away (there are plenty of people with nothing, be generous, I'll be collecting for the food bank as always), freeze them for next weekend, throw them away (yes, you read that right, throw them away). 

There's no law that says we must eat the broken biscuits. Go ahead and enjoy some, but it's not necessary to stuff as much in as possible. Really, it's not. There will be other boxes of chocolates, other biscuits, other crisps, there will be other holidays!

This is the time to reflect on the year gone by and look toward the new. Next year is going to be excellent. 

I wish you all a happy holiday, and above all else, enjoy yourself today and everyday. Having an indulgence is fun, so go ahead and treat yourself, but switch from indulging regularly and eating well once in a while, to eating well regularly and indulging once in a while and you'll see the pounds start to disappear.

It’s been a privilege to weigh and support my members throughout 2019 and a joy to watch so many lose weight, achieve their goals, change in their physical appearance but also watch them grow in confidence. Here's to continuing the success next year and share it with others.

I can’t wait to see all my members step on my Scales that first meeting after Christmas and whatever they say, they’re gonna smile at me and say, “I’ve had a really good Christmas!” 

One more day to weigh before Christmas though, yes my workshops are open tomorrow, I'm looking forward to our Christmas Eve morning get together, I've been promised a bacon sandwich!  But that's tomorrow, I've got a day off today and I'm going shopping hurray ;) 

Catch ya tomorrow, luv ya, 

mwah, 

Love me x

Are you excited yet? Or exhausted!

22nd December 2019
Stay close to anything that makes you feel glad to be alive.

Can you believe we're only days away from Christmas, yesterday was the nearest I'll get to a 'works do', we stopped at the end of the workshop and the girls (& Mark) made us breakfast and we had a good natter, it's amazing how just an hour in good company can really lift your spirits.  No wonder Christmas is a time to get together with people, it makes you feel good at a time of year that can be really grim, what a great idea to fill it with sparkly lights and kindness.

Once home and having walked Alfie a few times, we settled down to watch tele and crochet.  This is my lovely life at home despite the dementia.  I get to watch my wonderful squirrels making good use of the garden furniture after helping themselves to lunch from my shed.

Alfie gets wrapped up in one of my crochet blankets, he almost gets lost in there doesn't he, it's almost as if it was made just for him (IT WASN'T) but who's gonna argue with him or mom, erm not me! 

We've had some lovely Christmas cards, so lovely moms read the messages over and over and over and over to me, thanks for that everyone lol.

True Story!

My members helped Liz (my helper) raise £170 to add towards the £130 she'd already raised making Christmas gifts for her friends Cat charity, there are so many good charities out there, we're going to choose a different one each month, where possible keep it local, I'm letting my helpers have an input. Next month is Age UK, then February Acorns.  We sell tea and coffee every week and all the proceeds go to the chosen charity plus any other money raised.

Ooo what to do today?  Crochet maybe, walk the dog and watch tele for a change.  I really need to give the living room a hoover, but I need to do it before mom gets up or it's a nightmare, it'll get done some time this week, it's not like we're expecting visitors and need to worry about impressing anyone.

Well the 'big breakfast' we had yesterday and trust me it was big, so good, I'm not gonna lie I had 5 sausages in the end and 3 eggs, but I didn't eat again all day apart from one of these delicious cakes;

and a few cracker with cheese later on, another reminder to myself that I don't need to buy too much food tomorrow when I shop, one mouth, one stomach, can only hold so much food so I'll choose my favourite stuff mindfully.  Not gonna lie though, looking forward to buying a few bit of nom nom niceness.

There's the pips, 8am, we had a lie in this morning I'm glad to say and now I'm going to go make another cuppa for mom and enjoy my day (hopefully depending on mom xx) wish me luck,

mwah, luv ya


Love me x

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Saturday 21st December 
Believe there is good in the world.

Well I don't know about you but my favourite winter activity is getting back indoors and putting my pyjamas on, Alfie however has different ideas, he's loving his walks at the moment so I suppose I should thank him for helping me get some steps on my fit bit.  Does shivering count as exercise?  We do a lot of standing on his walks! 

Our day improved yesterday as mom settled and slept through the day, she's also still asleep now after an early night.  The highlight of my day yesterday was finding out my massage had already been paid for courtesy of my Saturday crew who I'm very much looking forward to seeing to thank this morning, that's the second lovely surprise gift I've had this week, the other was a voucher to buy myself some lovely crochet supplies which was such a thoughtful thing to do, I know the best people I really do.  Especially as I've not bought a darn thing!  I have bought and made things throughout the year and gifted them though, I'm not a complete grinch.  I just haven't had any Christmas spirit at all really, mostly because of mom and the fact I can't get out to look round the shops.

I'm starting to feel Christmassy now though, I love the kindness of this time of year, seeing everyone be that little bit nicer to each other.  It also brings out the worse in some, as proven by a ruckus in our street as I was getting into bed last night, usually I don't get involved but there was a dog involved, so I went out, that delayed me going to sleep by half hour.  Don't like my sleep interrupted.

Anyway back to Christmas, we're having a Christmas breakfast this morning after my workshop, looking forward to that, it's the closest I've come to a 'works do', I shan't be putting on a posh frock thought, which actually makes it better than a regular works do, no dressing up required.  I had a lovely phone call from a friend I don't hear from too often yesterday to wish me Happy Christmas, we had a quick catch up as I was driving home from my massage (Hands free of course).

After that chat on the phone I realised I really look forward to a time when I can absolutely go to town again at Christmas, when I get to walk round the shops buying ridiculous crap just because.  Oh yeah thats the best, that time will return I'm sure. 

Until then, I'm looking forward to my walk round Waitrose on Monday with my Gift Card and buying some delicious niceness, I've loved hearing what my members enjoy eating over Christmas this week, I'm thinking I too might opt for croissants for breakfast as did one of my lovely ladies.  Alfie and I had some turkey yesterday which was enough to make me realise, I'd rather have a chicken on a roast dinner.  

I had 2 foxes visit me last night, early in the evening too, I hadn't realised they were there and I scared them off twice - doh.  But I watch on the camera and they came back, the one sitting patiently waiting behind the other one to see if there was anything left for him, there must be a pecking order.  I could see there wasn't much left, so I went and put out the bit of turkey Alfie had left and so the second fox got the better dish for a change, ha patience paid off for him!   I'll get some cheap dog food today, I'm nice but I ain't feeding em turkey all Christmas! 

Right I'm away to have a shower, brr it' not warmed up completely here yet so let's hope shivering does burn calories!  I'm looking forward to my workshop this morning, then I'm hoping for a calm weekend with mom, some rubbish tele, we enjoyed The Mallorca Files yesterday, a BBC boxset, we binge watched the lot, kept us both quiet for the day.  

Looking forward to seeing everyones Facebook posts of their Christmas outings, living vicariously through others is working for me right now, lovely to see kids seeing Santa, my members getting dressed up and going to their works parties, it's all lovely.

Here's to a very, very Christmassy weekend.  Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x  

It doesn't look like Christmas out there!

Friday 20th December 2019
The magic of Christmas is not in the presents but being present. 

Been a rough night in the Longsden household, moms a poorly lady and she's not slept much, thankfully there's no work for me today so I can spend it with her and ope she improves.  

The best line I heard yesterday and we can all listen too was; "But it is Christmas!" And I totally agree, it's a wonderful time of the year, I've not really embraced it this year at all, a little part of me is always scared too since the year mom ended up in hospital in Wales because of her stomach, I know that her condition was exacerbated by overindulgence and I think that's a little of why she's poorly now because her diet is horrendous but there's no telling her without her getting angry.  Yeah I want to buy all the Christmas goodies but I know she'll make herself bad with them!  I will find a midway, when I got shopping, I'll buy some bit and limit how many she can get her hands on at any one time. 

But yes it is Christmas and you should all remember that, enjoy it, don't go ridiculously crazy, know your limits and enjoy being with people you love.  I'm going to make sure I give mom extra attention Christmas Day, we'll have  some quality time whatever food is in the house. 

I don't really have anything to write today, I know it's going to be a long ass day, I'm concerned about whether I should be doing something for her but I honest don't think anything can be done as she doesn't help herself, oh I just don't know.  

I'm going to stop typing because I want everyone to be enjoying the most wonderful time of the year, focus on the magic, be kind, only be as generous as you can afford to be.  I honestly believe one of the best gifts you can give anyone is time.  

This photo came up in my memories this morning and it was one of the best times, I remember it as if it was yesterday, not sure what year it was, actually I do, I've just searched my Facebook and it was 2003, oh what I'd give for that Christmas once again.  That started as what was going to be a disaster, the holiday company went bust and our holiday was cancelled, but it got sorted and we had the best time in Lanzarote, just brilliant.  

That's better, focus on the good times, the smile times, it will help me get through these times. 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me.  Now what shall I eat today?  Priorities and all that ;) 

Time is a currency you can only spend once

Thursday 19th December 2019
May you never be too grown up to search the skies on Christmas Eve

Had my first mince pie last night, swiftly followed by heartburn, that's me cured for another year!  Hopefully the fear of heartburn and indigestion will stop me from overeating too much this Christmas.

I spent most of yesterday walking Alfie and making these when I wasn't at work.  Then celebrated when I got home from work with a glass of wine.

I also made me a bowl of cauliflower rice again and this time I grated some parmesan cheese on once cooked and popped back into the oven for a couple of minutes to melt a little, I'd turned the oven off by then.

Yep, highly recommend roasted cauliflower rice. 

My members and Facebook friends did me proud again, this food and case was donated to an ex service man who was struggling to pay the bills let alone give his 7 year old daughter a Christmas this year.  Thankfully a local chap on Facebook asked for help via the WV11 group and now they'll be able to enjoy Christmas and hopefully he won't have to worry about paying the rent till next year.  

My lovely Julie treated herself to these in my workshop last week; 

and this week she made these and bought them for us to sample (oh and they were delicious)

All I can say is if Julie lived in my house and baked things like this, I'd have even more of a weight problem than I do now, nom nom nom. 

I really do have the best people in my world, my helpers are just amazing, each and every week they rock up to help me and they care about both me and my members, I've truly grateful and blessed to have them in my life.

A conversation yesterday reminded me that 15 years ago I made the right decision to become a WW coach.  Yes I earned more doing my previous job, but I was also a great deal more stressed.  I also did the right thing cutting down on my hours over the last few years, even if it does mean having less spare cash.  The stress caused by not having a work / life balance just isn't worth it.  I know we've got to pay the bills but once that's done, I'd rather spend time sitting with my mom whilst I've got her and watching repeats on the tv and seeing mom being surprised at what happens next.  

When I earned more, I worked longer hours and was that exhausted I'd buy expensive convenient food to eat and 'treat' myself to more things to cheer me up, by changing jobs I don't have to do that now, thus saving money and being able to earn less.  It's all about finding a balance.  Sadly some people are even able to earn enough to pay their bills, this is why there are so many food banks, that isn't right at all is it. 

Today I will be grateful for having a job to go to, for having lovely helpers and members bringing me pot noodles to pass on to the Walsall street ministry to hand out and I'll come home late tonight so thankful for a roof over my head and hot food to put in my belly.

Mwah, see the good in your day, luv ya 

Love me x