brrrrr....

Saturday 30th November 2019
When all else fails turn up the music and dance with your dog!

Well it's all been wrote down on my tracker, it's too many points but it's a start 😉

It's been a long night, the first couple of hours were spent listening to my complain about the temperature and constantly badger Alfie to try and get him in her room.  She has no filter at all, at that time of night she doesn't care about my rest, I'd already made her a hot water bottle but when she found a second on in the bathroom and was going to go make herself another, I got up and did it for her.  Then at three this morning, she was once again on the landing saying, "Bev, where are you?" Erm trying to get some sleep lol.  Oh and in-between some moron was making lots of noise in our street!  I didn't get up to see who it was because I was cosy in my bed and knew if I got up, I'd never get back to sleep, that went on for quite a long time.  YAY, happy days.

Thankfully the daytime was calmer, mom was really good on the morning, my brother visited so she wasn't alone when I went for my lovely massage, I'm so impressed by my massage lady, due on Christmas Day and still doing massages, you can't fault her work ethic, she really seems to have flown through the pregnancy, I hope the birth is a breeze for her too.  I'm not sure how many biscuits mom and my brother ate whilst I was gone but she was poorly all afternoon, it's a losing battle, she says 'don't let me eat any more crap', then an hour later she's picking up the biscuit tin and when I said, 'you told me not to let you eat any more crap' she just gave me the look, laughed and opened this tin! 

I've done my online shop, I was impressed to be honest when I went to take things out of the basket that weren't going to help me lose weight, there wasn't actually that much in it that shouldn't be there. I removed the chocolates, a lasagne which I knew would be off the scale points wise and I swapped the large apple crumble in the meal deal for fruit bowl - check me out.  However I've been fancying apple crumble for weeks so instead of the large one I found a pack of 2 small ones and mom and I can have one each, one portion is better than half a big one which would feed 3!

It's very frosty out there this morning, a lot of scraping going to be going on I think, thankfully it's not raining though, I'm looking forward to a couple of hours at my workshop with my wonderful members and then it's my Crafternoon for Mind https://www.facebook.com/events/2471645273104058/ I'm not asking anyone to go anywhere, just to spend a couple of hours being crafty, in any way they please, now I was going to work on my BeYOUtiful book and I might still, I've started it or I might do something else, but it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something.  It could be making Christmas chains with the kids or origami snowflakes or anything you fancy.  

Crafting is good for the mind, it's relaxing and helps with stress, at this time of year that's a good thing I reckon.  If you want to make a donation to Mind the charity great, you can PayPal it to me or pay it directly into the tub in my workshops, but I've already raised some money, this crafternoon is more about working on your mental health than anything.  Oh and of course it doesn't have to be today, you can do it anytime and hopefully you'll enjoy it and continue to take time to craft on a regular basis. 

Right I need to go get ready for work, the mom is fast asleep - you couldn't make it up could you!  It's cold to be getting in the shower but I shall be brave.  Heres to warming up!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Weathering the winter

Friday 29th November 2019
If you don't like the path you're walking, start paving another one.

Well my slow cooker dinner worked out well, I used a can of Batchelors condensed cream of chicken soup (9SP) poured it over 4 chicken breasts, added a little water to swill out the can and one sliced leek, left it about 7 hours on low and voila, tasty dinner, I shredded the cooked chicken in the slow cooker with a couple of forks and had it with mash and courgettes.  Delicious and low in Smart Points on all MyWW plans.  

Slow cooker chicken & leek, mash and courgettes 😋 

💚 8SP 💙 6SP 💜 2SP

The rest of the day is a bit of a busy blur and now it's Friday again!  It was so good to see so many members on track and losing yesterday though I do remember that, there was a lot of weight lost on my scales and new members joining too which is brilliant, it's too easy to stop trying at this time of year. 

Well I know I'm in danger of completely losing the plot so I need to have a serious word with myself and get my act together!   There's this voice in my head that's a right greedy bitch and has such a great way of justifying everything!  Her latest line is well everyone else is having nights out and Christmas get togethers, you're not so you may as well have a bit of indulging at home, it's only the same thing!  Yes she's a conniving cow, she really is and I need to play her at her own game and cook plenty of healthy meals to balance out the moments she wins!  

I've got crumpets planned for today, I'm thinking I'll have them with cheesy beans or spaghetti using a melted babybel light.  Not decided on the rest of the day but it won't be a heavy day as I won't be doing much of anything. Actually I might roast the beef I have in the fridge then Alfie and I can share it, I'll make sandwiches maybe with mine or have it with some nice veggies, cook it really slow in the oven.  See that voice is in my head again, 'ooo crusty bread and lashing of butter with fried onions and slices of beef', you've got to admit she has excellent taste!

Will it stop raining so I can give Alfie a decent walk, we managed to get out yesterday but it's not much fun in the rain and he never wants to go far on a day like that, so let's hope for some dry days this weekend.

We talked about how to get back on track after a setback yesterday and one line that stuck with me was, 'Don't be afraid of the minus', in other words carry on tracking and regardless of how many Smart Points you use, don't be afraid to go into minuses.  I honestly think this is the best advice of all, it's too easy to think, 'well I've gone over now so sod it', and sod it syndrome is super dangerous, as is diet dementia when you just forget what you've had.  No we need a new condition to help us (well me anyway) to get through what is left of the year because I'm doing some serious damage on the scales at the moment and last night didn't help.  I stopped and bought a donor kebab on the way home and a cone of chips, thankfully Alfie decided he like kebab meat last night and no word of a lie, if I got 100g of the meat that was my lot, he wolfed it down and after the day he'd had with mom, he deserved it, the little love is having a cuddle with her on her bed right now, he's my little hero.  I only ate half the chips too but seriously I need to get a grip.  I need to stop the 'sod it' syndrome and the diet dementia, I need to stop with the Wellness Wins tracking and get back to tracking it all.  I'm going to have make an honesty pact with myself and track 100% completely honestly in a journal.  I've just found one on my desk that I started back in May when I was doing great, it still has 5 weeks to be used so that's my plan to complete it and carry it round with me. 

Now, that voice in my head that is my saboteur, well last night on my drive home, after I'd bought the kebab yeah, another voice popped into my head (I sound a little crazy don't I, I don't care, we all are, I just embrace my inner nutter) this one I like and I'm going to encourage her to keep returning, this was what she said, 'so your life isn't the easiest at the moment and you never know what you're going home to, and yeah you're stuck in the house a lot so you're not able to get out and about like you used to and you're not as active as you were HOWEVER you could use all that time you have 'stuck' in the house to work on yourself, to get yourself fit and healthy instead of thinking sod it, yes it's difficult but damn woman, you've done difficult on many an occasion and you can do it now.  

I do know these voices are just my subconscious by the way, I'm not completely barmy, well....

Yeah, journal in front of me, opened to a new week, it says, "Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend", on the next page there's a recipe for eggs Benedict, meh I ain't doing that but I do think I'll have egg on my crumpet with a WW hollandaise sauce, that's as good as without having to make my own sauces.  I'm following the Blue plan, it's worked for me in the past, I loved it when they introduced Flex and it was the plan for me, so if it's not broke don't fix it I say.   I need to go review my online shopping basket before I press order lol, let's just say it's not full of oranges and lettuce!  I will remove the TIN of heroes and the carton of celebrations!  Yep I did, guilty of throwing them in the basket, I'll now throw them back out.

Here's to Day 1 of being honest to myself!  Wish me luck, I am going to need it, as I know it's easy for me to be positive in the morning when moms woke up in a good mood, not so easy when she kicks off at 3pm and says she doesn't need babysitting and she'll be just fine on her own thank you!  

Here's to weathering the winter! I'VE GOT THIS!  Have you? 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me more xx 

Are you winning?

Thursday 28th November 2019
Make someone smile everyday, but never forget you're someone too.

Yesterday started so well, I had myself a delicious tasty breakfast, I'd treated myself to an olive roll from Sainsbury's, it was all so tasty. 

Brunch  💚 11SP 💙 7SP 💜 7SP

I spent a lovely morning clearing off old photos of food and other stuff off my phone and then backing the good ones up onto my computer whilst printing a handful out to start my BeYOUtiful book for our Mind event this Saturday https://www.facebook.com/events/2471645273104058/ I really enjoyed looking at photos of mom and I smiling and having fun, walked Alfie and managed not to get wet!  Then I finally got my cod in parsley sauce, it was an Asda sachet of parsley sauce, made up with skimmed milk it was 2SP a quarter of a packet. 

Cod in parsley sauce, brown basmati rice & peas 

💚 11SP 💙 8SP 💜 3SP

It was going so well food wise wasn't it, then this happened!

My sister posted "Bacon and egg pie for Beverley Longsden", thankfully I didn't get the entire pie, because I would have eaten it all but boy it was good.  Her pastry is to die for and to be fair if we were to eat it every day it probably would kill up lol.  Oh it's delicious though and I've never in my life had bacon and egg pie, before last week when she said she was making one for her husband I'd never even heard of it.  Anyway it blew the Smart Points bank just by looking at it, so good though.

The thing about this time of year particularly is to do what you can when you can and not to give up, there's so much temptation about, so instead of beating ourselves up every time we slip, how about we give ourself a cheer every time we resist, every time we have a win, we take a moment to appreciate it.  So the win for me last night is I could've smashed the lot, but I saved half for today 
.

My first win of the day is I've already put my slow cooker on, in it 3 things; 

 

total cost about £6, will serve 4 and total points for the 4 chicken breast in sauce is 

 💚 15SP 💙 9SP 💜 9SP, it'll go lovely with either mash or a handful of chips.  

Yeah I've started my day with a win, I also have chick pea curry and rice from Harj which I'll have  today and probably keep this chicken thing for tomorrow but it'll be cooked in advance which is always a bonus. 

One of my members achieved her goal last night losing five and a half stone, she joined November last year and she has really enjoyed her journey which is always a bonus, her life isn't the easiest like so many of us and it's proof that if we really want it we can achieve it, she's enjoyed her holidays and not put her life on hold.  

I forgot to give my mom her tablets when I got home so she didn't get them till she went to bed, that's not a mistake I'll make again if I can help it as it seems to take a couple of hours for the one tablet to kick in and relax her for the night but her 'wobbly' wasn't as bad as they have been thankfully, I'm treating Alfie to beef this weekend, he's so tolerant of her and deserves to be fed by a king from now on I've decided!  

Oh I have food to add to my 'To Eat' list, babble melted into baked beans or I'm thinking WW spaghetti, on toast with an egg on top, nom nom nom.  

Just found the list cos of course I'd forgot what was on it, this is what I still need to eat 

Toad in the Hole 

Hot pot

Chicken chow mein

I now want to add, chicken in chicken tonight honey and mustard sauce 

Homepride curry sauce

bellydraft to see if I've changed my mind and like it now as Paul keeps talking about it! 

I've added these ingredients to my online shopping basket for the next order I place.  Not sure if I'll have ready made toad in the hole or cook my own, and chow mien if I'm being honest I want the takeaway variety.

Oh talking about takeaways, I was traumatised last night to hear that McDonalds have extended their breakfast time till 11, I'm not impressed, I'm not a fan of their breakfasts but I do love their burgers and every Saturday when I leave my workshop, if it's just after half ten, I'm tempted to have one on the way home, now I'm not going to even be able to contemplate it.  I guess really that's a good thing, temptation has been removed from me. 

Right, I need to get gone, I'm running a little later than usual, moms been up an hour already, let's have a day full of 'wins' however small, notice them, appreciate them and give yourself a cheer because you're doing your best xx Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Need Slow Cooker ideas please...

Wednesday 27th November 2019
Stay strong, believe in yourself, never give up!

Wednesday morning, mid-week, I've managed a good 8 hours in bed = result! I earned my wage yesterday, very busy morning, lots of members and Black Friday WW sale, resulted in me getting lots of steps on my FitBit and the morning flying by in a blur, really good workshop, so pleased that Wendy achieved her 5 stone goal, made all the better because she was able to stay as Angie gave her a lift home, see workshops are all about community and I love them.

Yeah a good day all round, even when mom started to wobble, I was able to deflect her attention.  On the night when I got home, she was really good, thought I'd only been gone an hour, told me how she'd had a lovely time with my sis and then went on to tell me how lovely my sister was and how they were really getting on these days and how much she enjoyed spending time with her.  I love it when she's happy, even when she's not feeling great, yeah there was a bathroom accident, but I take them in my stride these days, we've had a few over the last week or so.  TMI for this time of the day maybe!

Anyway, let's talk about food (now I'm laughing that I can go from that subject to food) but hey that's how I roll lol.  I've finally finished the cottage pie out of the fridge, I still have some in the freezer but that can stay there for a bit, today I'm having cod in parsley sauce, been fancying it since last Thursday when a member mentioned it, nom nom, now usually I'd have it with mash but I'm all mashed out from the cottage pie so I'm thinking a few chips or maybe rice, we'll see, hoping I can tempt mom to eat a little.

I want to get using my slow cooker, I'm going to take some chicken out the freezer today and put them in the slow cooker tomorrow, so I'm not tempted to go off track on my busy Thursday, not sure what I'm going to do with them though, maybe a curry or I'm thinking a slow cooker chicken dinner, although I had chicken dinner at the weekend.  I'll go check out the cupboards, see what's in there and if you have any fail safe, quick, easy, delicious, low Smart Pointed slow cooker recipes, let me know and I can share.

I think the easiest one I've ever done is the Dorito Salsa chicken, the jar of salsa dip is 4SP and you just pour it over the chicken breasts and pop the slow cooker on low, then when ready shred the chicken in the sauce and enjoy on rice, with mash, in a wrap or those tortilla boats, quick and easy is what I like.  Shame I'm personally not a salsa fan!  Just swap the salsa for any jar of cooking sauce you like and adjust the points accordingly and voila you have a meal.  I really like the Chicken tonight honey and mustard sauce, it's 22SP a jar though, but if you split that 4 ways, it's not so bad, they're on offer in Sainsbury's for £1 a jar too, so cheap eats for sure.   I've always been a sucker for a can of Homepride curry sauce, it's 12SP and for it comes with so many memories, it was one of moms dishes.  Ooo that with chunks of onions, nom nom.   Just noticed Homepride do a BBQ cooking sauce too for 4SP per portion, that would be nice with chicken, peppers, onions, on rice. mmm.

I threw some puff pastry into my shopping basket on my delivery yesterday, oops, but my sister keeps talking about bacon and egg pie, which makes me want pastry, not sure what I'm going to do with it yet but pie is definitely going to be on the menu over the coming week but as two of my Saturday members said last week, but only on the top lol.

I need to stop talking food, I'm starving now, I'm not really but I want food.  I started yesterday with a very healthy breakfast, I had a delicious omelette and used up the leftover broccoli from the day before, with some smoked salmon. mmm.

Right I'm off need another tumbler of water and some food, mom will want another cuppa too.  Here's to surviving another day despite the weather!  Mwah, luv ya


Love me xx

Start today with a Smile

Tuesday 26th November 2019
Smile like a monkey with a new banana

Survived the day yesterday, food wise as well as sanity!  Foodwise, probably how most people eat but I enjoyed it, I'd got a lot of cottage pie leftover from Saturday and I also had veggies and gravy left from Sunday roast, so I combined the two and added some broccoli, then ate a portion for breakfast and a portion for dinner, both were incredible and within points on any of the plans! 

Leftovers from the weekend 😋 14💚 SP 💙 12SP 💜 6SP

Mom was borderline at times yesterday and the one thing that got me through it and stopped her going over to the darkness was patience, it's my new super power.  People often think of patience as the ability to wait, but patience is to be calm no matter what happens, see you can't change another person, you can only have control over how you respond, and what you do and say.   The thing is people with Alzheimers can't change the way it makes them act anymore than a cancer patient can stop the cancer cells from spreading.  Therefore yesterday when mom started to turn and get angry, I stayed calm and did my best to divert the situation, most times I managed it, it's not always possible but yesterday I won I reckon.  We watched a couple of films, the new Spiderman and Hustlers, enjoyed both, although she started to lose it towards the end of the second.  I then put an episode of Private Eye on which she's watched with me a lot over the last few weeks but yesterday she did not like the main characters, it was like she was looking at a different screen to me and I guess in a way she was, so I just said lets watch something else and that worked and saved a strop.  

I may not be the weight I was but I noticed this photo this morning on my Facebook; 

and realised all those NOW photos are a year or more old, which made me go check my own time line and look this is a collage Kell put together for me not that long ago, some of these are all more recently.

So then I went looking at my profile photos from this year and look; 

I'm still smiling on all of them, whatever I weigh on that day!  My weight doesn't define me or my mood anymore, so many other things do but I will continue to eat as healthy as I can, smile lots and laugh as often as possible,  I'm going to print these photos out for my BeYOUtiful book which I know I haven't started yet but I will, I'm in the middle of a crochet project that's got me hooked (pardon the pun) I want to finish it because it's for me for a change and I want to wear it now it's cold. 

I'm in for a very busy morning so I need to get gone, I'm on my own, going to have to set up today and do it all as my lovely Carol has to be somewhere else, sometimes things are more important than helping me, not very often I have to say, she's like my PA/personal shopper/new mom/counsellor/mate all rolled into one!  

Here's to surviving another day, meditating when possible (that's helping with the patience) and enjoying as much as possible, not too much where foods concerned though ay 😉

Mwah, luv ya


Love me xx 

Oops I did it again!

Monday 25th November 2019

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.

Yes Oops indeed, I should've spent my week with my hands over my mouth, I may not have eaten so much lol!  I knew it though, I lost weight by some kind of witchery last week and it wasn't deserved, so it's only gone and caught me up and bit me on the bum this week, a staggering, wait for it, drum roll please...... 4lb on!

I got cocky didn't I, thought well if I can lose 2lb having done all the damage I'd do that week, I might as well carry on!  Will I ever learn 😜 I doubt it, I love food way too much, that's before we even start talking about Red Wine.  The next question is, do I just give up, after all it's winter, it's raining, it's dark, a month today is Christmas Day.  Then there's the fact my moms got Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia, two for the price of one, I don't know if I'm going to wake up into a heaven or hell situation on any given day and that's if I've been lucky enough to even get any sleep to start with.  I could use any of this to think sod it, I'll have a break and start again next year, but I won't because I know the damage I could do, that 4lb gain was with me being mindful, imagine if I just thought sod it completely for a month, nah that's not happening.  Continue on I say, embrace the struggle, my body and mind is not something I ever intend to give up on, or put on hold for a month! 

As my mom told me the other morning and we were cuddling on her bed, 'It's not going to get easier taking care of me' and she's right but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up, it just means I'll adapt my behaviour and adjust my life, I need to take the same approach to my eating habits and lifestyle.

As the author of my own story,  I'm very aware I chose this life, okay I didn't ask for mom to get Alzheimers, but I have always said I would take care of her for the rest of her life because my dad didn't and as I was growing up, she was the best mom, she was both parents, supermom without the cape, she made me believe I was capable of anything, that I was BeYOUtiful, that my childhood, my illness, nothing defined me, I was able to decide my path and achieve whatever was important to me. I didn't do too bad for someone who left school before taking her exams because I wanted to work and earn money and I hated the place.  

Yeah I'm a survivor, I'm not going to sit here and type how today I'm drawing a line, starting again, this time I'm doing it, because I'm not, I never stopped trying, okay you could call this weeks results an epic fail but you know what, that could've been double what it was if I hadn't been trying at all, if I hadn't been mindful.  If I hadn't only eaten 3 mini chocolates at my massage, if instead I'd stopped at the shop and bought a big slab of galaxy caramel, or in the Co-op yesterday, ignored the 3 for £10 mini celebrations that I spotted.  If I'd had that BigMac meal deal I fancied driving past McDonalds on Saturday after workshop, or if I'd nipped over the Co-op last night and bought the Pizza mom and I were fancying after an advert on the tele.  If I'd bought a bottle of orange juice to go with the bottle of prosecco that's in my cupboard after drinking the little bottle Bonnie bought me with the carton of cranberry Sheila had bought me.  If I'd helped mom eat the biscuits Tina had bought her after helping her eat some of the biscuits Lucy got for her.  Don't even get me started on the Pringles she's got sitting on her table.  Do I need to continue, that's just the last 3 days!

Temptation is EVERYWHERE!  Even more so at this time of year, not only is the temptation there, our resolve  (I think that's the word I'm looking for) is lower, our willpower is being beaten down by dark night and miserable wet, cold weather.  We're all looking for something to make us feel better, for some that the anticipation of Christmas, for others it's knowing Spring is going to come at some point.  

I'm sat here smiling to myself because there's two versions of me, well they both live in my head.  One half is saying meh let's just not worry about it, sit watching tele, eating whatever and drinking wine, you can't go anywhere because of mom, heck even Alfie don't walk that far anymore so you're not even earning FitPoints, then your ankle still ain't right so you can't walk that far anyways.

Then there's the other voice that's saying, okay so we're stuck in the house a lot more than we used to be, that means you have a lot of time on your hands and I know you enjoy sitting, watching tv and crocheting but just think you could spend some of that time cleaning your house, then you would feel instantly better seeing it looking so good.  You could use that time to explore recipes and cook healthier meals that are so damn delicious, you're happy to be losing weight!

The question is which voice speaks loudest?  The truth is, it honestly depends on the day of the week, how my moms been the previous day and how much emotional and physical energy I have.  Today is the CAN DO voice, I've woke up feeling I can handle it all, I didn't wake up feeling like that yesterday, I so wanted to do my BeYOUtiful book this weekend, but after Saturday mom, Sunday Bev couldn't deal with trying to be 'ra ra' with her, I was glad she slept until about ten, because she'd woke up at 6ish thinking I was her mom and it's mentally draining.  However by the time she got up things were calm again in my head as well as hers, so I nipped to the Co-op and bought a chicken so that I could make a roast dinner with all the veggies I had that were on the turn.  It was immense!  Today I've got leftover cottage pie, I've frozen the rest.  I washed up, cleaned the kitchen rather than leaving it for morning, so this morning, I'm going to get my workshops planned for the week, then I'm going to clean upstairs, try and get mom to agree to a shower (but I know to pick my battles so if she says no, sod it, I'll try and get her to settle on a bowl for her feet!).

YES SuperBev is here today, I wish every day felt like this but it doesn't, if I realise that though and continue to give myself a break, it'll all be good in the long run.

Hope you're feeling positive today too, let's have a CAN DO kind of day shall we? 

Mwah luv ya  

Love me 

Not broken yet!

Sunday 24th November 2019
Be enough for yourself first, the rest of the world can wait.

Dementia won the day yesterday unfortunately, well not the entire day, all was calm and good until the afternoon, then it went downhill very, very fast.  Let's talk about the earlier part of the day instead then shall we, not give Alzheimers the power to ruin this morning as well ay!

An amazing workshop, so many members, lots of weight loss, a good couple of hours for sure, so busy and buzzing, at this time of year, that's just brilliant, shows we're realising being healthy is a year round thing, not just a New Year / New You kind of thing.  

When I got home, Alfie didn't want to walk so I went to make a cottage pie instead, thought I'd actually do something (I think this was the start of triggering moms mood swing, she expects 100% complete attention and in her eyes, I'm not making dinner, I'm ignoring her but a girls gotta eat.) 

I'd bought some reduced 5% beef mince from Tesco, gave my sister one, froze 2 and cooked 2, Alfie got some of that, so he was happy enough.    I realised my cupboards are a lot emptier these days, for the first time ever I didn't have any chopped tomatoes, I'd used the last in the gnocchi bake yesterday, I don't have any hoisin sauce and I wanted to make beef larb but I can get some and add it to my 'To Eat' list, here's the recipe for those who asked what we were talking about yesterday; 

Beef larb

Serves 1, 6sp, takes 20 minutes

oil spray 
185g extra lean 5% beef mince (4SP)
½ crumbled beef stock cube 
1 small red chilli, de-seeded and diced
1 ½ tsp diced ginger 
1 garlic clove, diced 
1 tablespoon hoisin sauce (2SP)
a handful of fresh coriander leaves
4 or 5 small lettuce leaves or use spinach instead and throw it in just before end to wilt a little)
1 carrot, peeled and cut into thin sticks
2 spring onions, sliced
4 fresh mint leaves shredded (optional)

Spray a non stick frying pan with the cooking spray and heat until hot. Add the beef and stir fry over a high heat for 5 minutes until browned and cooked through. Add the stock cube with 2 tablespoons of water, chilli, ginger and garlic and cook for another minute. Remove from the heat and stir in the hoisin sauce and half the coriander leaves.

Arrange the lettuce leaves and carrot sticks on a plate, top with the mince and garnish with the spring onions, mint and remaining coriander. Serve immediately.  

Anyway I ended up with Cottage pie as I had beef mince, carrots, onions, oxo and spuds and to be honest that you really need, yeah you can add lots of other stuff and fancy it up but this was good enough for me.  I fried the onions and carrots, then added the mince (750g = 17SP, Tesco British lean beef steak 5% mince is 100g for 2SP) and once browned poured on stock made with oxo's and topped with mash - 24SP for the potatoes and 6SP for the parmesan I found in the fridge I added to it.  The entire thing worked out to 47SP total but there was a lot of food there! On purple it’s 23SP total.  

Easily serves 6 at 8SP each or 4SP on purple, bargain food, I'll be eating it again with peas and I may even make a little gravy to go with it and heck possibly a Yorkshire pudding.  Food is my friend right now for sure, it was one of the only nice things in this hour yesterday and that included Alfie, he wasn't helpful I have to say. 

I asked my members what I could cook with my beef mince and there were so many suggestions, plus don't forgot to lower points you can use chicken or turkey breast mince or quorn mince for the veggies, some of the other suggestions were;

spaghetti bolognese 
lasagne
chilli
Doner kebab meat 
burgers 
meatballs
curry
hotpot 

So many meals from one simple ingredient, Bobotie is another one, there's a recipe on the WW app for that, it's good. 

I'm up at this silly O'clock time because Alfie and mom woke me, then she wanted a drink, then they both went back to sleep, thanks for that.  She insisted on a cup of hot chocolate and something to eat at midnight last night, no concept of time at all and if I refuse I'm the devil lol

Anyway here's 5 things to quit right now...
Overthinking, worrying, trying to make everyone happy, living in the past, doubting yourself. 

That's for me and anyone else (you know who you are) who is doing any of that right now and here's some things to always remember...

1. You can't change the past.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business. Their opinions don't define your reality. 
3. Everyone's journey is different - don't compare yourself to them.
4. Overthinking never ends well.
5. You only fail when you quit.

And if you're struggling with your journey right now, remind yourself. 

1. You don't have to be perfect.
2. Having a bad day is ok
3. Small steps are also progress
4. Tomorrow is a new day
5. You don't have to be happy all the time. 

Oh and YOU'RE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! 

I've just read this on another website "According to the great Greek philosopher, Aristotle, everything happens for a reason, always. Every experience in your life is designed to shape you and help you grow into the highest and mightiest version of yourself."  Well personally I don't agree with that, what a crock of crap, if there was a reason for what happened in this house yesterday, I'd like to know what it was, Aristotle obviously never experience Alzheimers, just saying, or cancer or any other horrid disease.  Meh, philosophers, what do they know lol.

My brother asked if I wanted to walk today, not sure it's worth the hassle with mom, especially as the weather ain't that nice to start with.  I'm hoping she's better this morning, I wanted to get us doing that BeYOUtiful book together, thought some positivity in her head might make her feel and behave better.    Anyway, we'll see what it's like when the sun rises.   Everything's better in the cold light of day apparently. 

Here's to making the most of whatever today brings, mwah, luv ya x

Love me 

The magic of an oxo cube!

Saturday 23rd November 2019
Believe you can and you're halfway there.

There was some waking in the night but overall a good one and the fact we went up very early was even better!  We had a pretty good day too, don't remember her kicking off at all = result!  Oh if only every day was like that ay, wouldn't that be good.  I even got a massage thrown in on the morning so I was chilled out anyways.

Being relaxed gave me the umph to actually cook and use that gnocchi I had in the fridge, I decided to experiment with it and I made a Gnocchi bake, here's how, really easy which is how I like things.

Gnocchi Bake - total dish 35SP

Packet of Aldi Tomato and Mozzarella Gnocchi (19SP)
100g Aldi Emporium British mature cheddar (16SP)

tin of chopped tomatoes

oxo cube 

diced red & yellow pepper

handful spinach

125g button mushrooms (cut in half)

plonk gnocchi and veggies into casserole dish, crumble an oxo cube over the top (I'll always be grateful to Barry White (& I don't mean the singer!) for telling me to put an oxo in tinned tomatoes to make them more edible!) and pour over the tomatoes.  Top with grated cheese and cook in the oven for about half hour on80 fan oven or  Gas4/. It was so good, I went back for a second bowl so ate half of it, which set me back 17SP but scrumptious, even if it look a bit messy.   

I've started a 'To Eat' list as I have so many things I fancy now it's gone cold and I'm all about the comfort food.  On it so far is; 

Toad in the Hole (ooo Sis you'd make a mega one of these with your home made yorkies!)

Cod in parsley sauce 

Cottage pie (but thinking of making it with turkey breast meat so it would be blue & purple friendly)

Hot pot (again could use chicken instead of beef to lower the points) 

Chicken chow mein (use Soba or brown rice noodles for purple friendly) 

Oh and I could eat a roast dinner every day of the week, there's not enough gravy in the world for me right now.  

Then I fancy trying chicken in honey and soy sauce as suggested by one of my lovely members Thursday, mix equal tablespoons of each together to make a marinade and but on the chicken, sprinkle with chilli flakes and cook in the oven, nom nom. 

I also need Bonnies brown stewed chicken in my life, look at this for delicious;

Now I'm not sure of how she made it but these are the ingredients so I'm guessing it's all stir fried together in a pan and served with brown rice.  I know sugar is high in Smart Points but if like oil it makes a meal look and taste delicious, then it's needed! 

Don't you just love food, I could eat any of the above right this minute and it's not even 6am!  

Today I'll be eating chicken or salmon as both have use by tomorrow dates, so unless I freeze them... 

I might give purple a go for a week, see if it encourages me to eat a bit less rubbish and fills me up by using the wholewheat stuff, especially as I have all those things in my cupboard.  Might demotivate me to refocus on cooking.  Yes I think everything is purple friendly in my fridge right now, maybe I will.  I'll paper track too as I have my app set to green so I can point my meals for everyone.

Here's to a great weekend, whatever colour I opt for, I'm hoping moms gonna still be in the mood to make our BeYOUtiful book this weekend, fingers crossed and all that.  Mwah, luv ya.

Love me x