Well that was quite the year!

Friday 31st December 2021
You can get excited about the future, the past won't mind!

6am and I'm sat in the kitchen on my own enjoying the peace and quiet and thinking about all the lovely food I plan to eat today!  We decided last night that we'd have a buffet for today after I introduced them to vol au vents yesterday :) I'd picked a pack of 9 up and they were delicious, I realised we haven't had any of that kind of food all over Christmas, so off to Lidl's and Supervalu it is for me today for one last splurge.

We ate reasonably healthy yesterday, Mango, apple, Greek Yogurt and honey for breakfast and a second dinner using the leftovers but I wasn't that hungry by then because I'd eaten mashed potato sandwiches with the leftover gravy, delicious but not so healthy I guess :) I love lashings of gravy on my dinner, thankfully only two of the three of us do, I sit in shock at how little gravy he puts on his dinner, the man child however is like me and likes plenty. Speaking of the man child, I smile every morning when I get up and check in the fridge or on the side to see what he's picnic'd on in the night, last night he's eaten the rest of the cheesecake and chicken wings, growing boy.  We go to bed way earlier than him, he's playing his games and then doesn't wake till lunchtime - that'll all be changing in the new year when we're back in England, I need to get him into a school asap and then he'll be getting his backside out of bed much earlier.

I went for a long walk yesterday, an hour and a half I was out, I managed to get Vicky on the phone for a long natter, but anyone who called went straight to voicemail and my phone didn't tell me they'd called - oops!  After calling me three times, they thought I'd got lost or run off  '-).  I just needed fresh air and space, I'd be lying if I said the two weeks had been all sweetness and light, that's not real life is it  I left the house and messaged my sister first asking 'Are you emotional this week or is it just my hormones?' and I was relieved when she replied, 'No I am on the verge of tears right at this minute'.  Turns out we've both been randomly crying for no reason all over Christmas, we agreed that it's a combination of our first Christmas without mom and we've both lost our dogs recently, those are some huge changes.  Anne and I had a dreadful December with mom last year and so there's relief in there too, which then makes you think of when she was good and we feel sad that our last Christmas with her wasn't a good one.  Oh see, my eyes are starting to water again, but it's all good because you have to process this shit, the poor blokes having to work out what's going on with me in this house are on a giant learning curve but they're handling it pretty damn well to be fair.  I mean what do you say to a woman who's crying for no apparent reason and when you ask, 'What's up', she either replies 'nothing' or 'I don't know'.  Now I'm laughing because I realise how absurd it is and even when I'm doing it I'm thinking to myself what is wrong with you woman!

After my chat with my sister, Vicky and Lynne I felt 100% again, cheaper than therapy that's for sure and ma'an do I miss them, looking forward to catching up with them when I get back.  I'm thinking a get together for my birthday - because I can, I have nothing to stop me this year.  Yes I'm going to be in charge of a man child but he's big enough to take care of himself for an hour or so and he won't be sulking like a bitch when I get back home or have fallen off his commode - he doesn't obviously have a one, but this time last year, that's what mom did, after she'd used it too, oh ma'an blah, I remember these things like they were yesterday sometimes.

We've been talking about holidays, I don't actually have anywhere on my to go list anymore, I did them all, well except the tulip fields of Amsterdam and the Northern Lights but the man child hasn't been abroad yet so I asked him where he'd like to go, we've had this conversation a few times now.  He doesn't like heat very much, he likes animals and also scenery apparently but only if it's good scenery and doing stuff ;) we tried the closing your eyes and pointing at a map, the first time he landed in the ocean by the Solomon Islands, the second time in the Congo - erm NO we ain't going there! 

Then he turns out he quite fancies going to Japan - I mean, what 13 year old lad suggests Japan!  I have to say though, having looked at it a little yesterday and done a bit of research, oh my, it's now possibly on my 'to go' list, it's just so damned expensive, but who knows what the future will bring, never say never.  For now though my brothers invited us to Corfu which is a good start, plus we have to navigate the old Covid situation too don't we!  

Wow, what a difference a year makes, this time last year I was really struggling with mom, unsure about work having been made redundant and if you'd have said there would be a man on the horizon, I'd have laughed at you because that wasn't ever in my head.  The first three months of 2021 were horrific, that's the only word I can use to describe them, the second three months were a combination of relief and confusion, a bit of a blur as I tried to come to terms with losing mom and staying focused on our new business.  Then we have the third quarter, I started to feel good and enjoy my freedom, loving life again and feeling positive about the future.  Then four months ago the door knocked and a face from my past changed the rest of my year and I've smiled ever since (well apart from those crying moments).

I feel really positive about 2022, I know it's not going to be plain sailing and I'm okay with that, whatever gets thrown at me these days I compare to those last 6 months with mom and say, "I handled that, this is gonna be a breeze".  I don't worry about the future, I'm living in the now.

I'm going to take my tree down today, keep putting it off but we can't leave it up when we leave here so it needs to come down and I have a feeling we may be a little delicate tomorrow, then we have to pack to come home too.  I'm looking forward to coming home, although I have really enjoyed being here too. 

There's movement, so I better get gone.  

Happy New Year, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

 

Well there it was, gone!

Sunday 26th December 2021

363 days to Christmas 2022!

I hope you've all enjoyed your Christmas as much as I have, a week ago today we arrived in Ireland exhausted after a long 5 hour drive to Scotland to catch the 2 hour ferry to Belfast, followed by another 3 hour drive to the house.  Why Scotland?  Because we were originally bringing Alfie and it was the shortest crossing and the only one that we could take him on deck with us, then it was too late to change them as they were all sold out.  

Since then we've done a lot of painting of walls and sorting out the house, we did our Christmas food shop, I'm impressed with Lidl's, we've enjoyed some delicious food, this week has gone too fast.

Christmas day was lovely, awake at 5ish, had to wait a few hours to wake the man child up, but when he did he was pleased with his pressies, then off he went to see his mom for the morning.

That smile was priceless and the noise when he saw his trainers - well!

I did really well with my gifts, a tiffany bracelet, a bottle of Chanel, hotel chocolat and bit and bobs, very spoilt this year. 

 

I spent the morning in the kitchen drinking bucks fizz and cooking our Christmas dinner and if I do say so myself, it was bloody delicious!  I've not enjoyed a Christmas dinner that much in a very long time.  

 

As you can see we failed at cool on our first ever selfie 😂

but it's took a month to get the man child to agree to a photo so I love it!

They spent the next two hours in a food coma and I was reminded what it's like to be in a house of smelly boys, oh my days, the smell from those backsides was deadly.  I was Encanto on Disney whilst they snoozed, they'd been watching Mrs Brown's Boys the Movie when they fell asleep.

 

The rest of the day was spent trying to find something on the tv we all agreed on - not easy at all, but we settled on Cruella, I'd seen it before but it was worth a second watch.   Any suggestions for other stuff would be gratefully received! 

I was absolutely shattered when I got into bed and went straight to sleep, apparently my snoring is so bad at the minute, his sleep patterns being messed with - oops!  We both snore badly, it' just whoever gets to sleep the soonest gets the better sleep, no relationship runs smoothly ay lol.

Right it's Boxing day and we've had turkey and stuffing toasties for breakfast, apparently we're painting woodwork today, I think I'm just cheap labour to be honest - actually not that cheap I guess when you see the food and wine bill!

Here's to enjoying what's left of the weekend, I'm sitting looking at my pretty tree enjoying some quiet time whilst ones asleep and the others gone to see his pal. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Getting dressed in the dark - that's not happened in a v v long time!

Tuesday 14th December 2021

May your days be merry & bright.

Well to say I'm adjusting to my new life is an understatement :) I woke this morning and grabbed my dressing gown in the dark so as not to scare the man child if  he was to come out his room onto the landing, then I grabbed clothes from the wardrobe in the dark because I didn't want to wake the sleeping one in the bed either!  Turns out I'm wearing my Christmas sweatshirt today then :) I'm happy with that, I love it, the thick jeans I've put on won't be helping me at the scales at all but hey, it's Christmas time so I'm working on damage limitation anyway.

Actually any damage done this week has had nothing to do with Christmas, it has to do with the house being full of food that I wouldn't buy and the man child being a feeder!  'Do you want a biscuit, some sweets, etc, etc"  It's really difficult to resist temptation isn't it, especially when you're happy and you like the food on offer.

The thing is though I also like the weight loss success I've had this year, I need to work on resisting temptation and not letting myself or others sabotage my success so far.   I will be enjoying Christmas though and not stressing about the numbers because when I get back from Ireland I can sort it all out.    Won't be going crazy on the Christmas food shop either as there's only really a Lidl's and their local supermarket unless we drive an hour to the nearest larger town and I'm not really fussed about doing that.  I've spent many a Christmas in the middle of nowhere with mom so it won't phase me, I will miss the giggles mom and I had though and walking on the beach Christmas morning, but it's been over 8 years since I got to do that anyway  At least this year, I'll get to cook a big dinner, watch them as they open their presents and relax, oh that sounds so good.

We've had a lovely chilled weekend, I've finally got door handles on all my doors, it's been a very, very long time since I had one on my bedroom, I even have a lock on the bathroom door again, turns out he has more than one or two uses :) !

Home schooling resumed yesterday, mmm well I'm enjoying more than the man child is let's say, I actually sat and read the story of Abraham yesterday after he'd gone upstairs to play some computer game, dear me, what have I become.  At least I know what he's got to be doing today now, the only homework I cannot help him with is Irish, the essay book is literally completely in Irish!   Come January, hopefully that won't be a problem if all goes to plan. 

Looking forward to going to work for a rest and female conversation, great subject this week too, I'm hoping it'll help me survive the next few weeks

I can't remember what I have and haven't blogged having missed a few days, but I made muffins which were delicious, not as sweet as some would like but perfect for me and although man child had a whinge about the lack of sugar, he ate enough of them. Blueberry Oatmeal Greek Yogurt Muffins - Healthy Bluberry Muffins (frugalmomeh.com)  We've also been making our own smoothies, they're going down really well, all sorts going in, yogurt, blueberries, kiwi (with skin), actimel, milk, bananas, really tasty the are, makes plenty and as yet it's all been drunk.  I need to top up on fruit, will be getting frozen now I know he'll drink the smoothies.  Home made ones much better than shop bought because there's more of the whole fruit in them, we don't peel anything, except the bananas, it all goes in and they're quite thick and full of goodness.  

I've defrosted a chicken for dinner today, not sure what I'm doing it with yet, I'm not used to this thinking about what to eat malarkey, it's different when you've got to please others, see I'm starting to understand why all those moms out there struggle with taking care of themselves.  Although everyone eats the same in this house or they don't eat, unless they go make their own that is.  I'm going to cook some veggie fingers I think to see how they go down!  Yeah chicken, potatoes (because I have some need using up) and veggie fingers. 

How can I make spuds more interesting than mash?  I could roast them I guess, I need a fool proof delicious recipe for spuds, that make them irresistible. 

But for now I need to get ready for work, actually I'm ready, I'm dressed, my bags sorted, I've had a cuppa but I need some breakfast, so that's what I'm off to do next.

Let's enjoy the week, don't give up on being healthy, it's not Christmas yet, I don't want to hear "I'll see you again in January, I'm going to stop now for Christmas", A) it won't help you B) it defo won't help Elle and me1

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

15 days to go!

Friday 10th December 2021

Baby, it's cold outside!

Two weeks today it'll be Christmas Eve and it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  There's empty Amazon boxes everywhere and wrapped gifts - my house looks like a bombs hit it and I can't even blame my visitor really because I'm as bad, I haven't emptied my suitcase since I got back from Ireland.  

Today is housework day, I will get some kind of order in this house, as we're all going back to Ireland for Christmas, I need to box up pressies to go with us and sort clothes again which makes me think why bother emptying my case lol, oh just for info, the stuff in the case is clean I washed it all before returning, I'm not a complete dirty bird.

Another great day at work yesterday, Elle and I have had hoodies printed with our logo on, they're doing a grand job of keeping us nice and warm.  It also feels good to know that 12 months after we were made redundant, we're enjoying our groups and walking round in matching hoodies :) 

I never got round to making muffins yesterday, ended up driving about trying to get trainers for my visitor - no luck, teenagers are fussy, well this one is anyways.  I will try to cook again today, but first to sort the chaos out.  We're having Chinese takeaway tonight (or if I can convince them, tomorrow) and I've got to eat it with chop sticks because that'll be funny apparently as I've never been able to use them!  Watch me tip the bowl up and shovel it in with the sticks - there's always a way! 

I'm putting off moving because that means starting the housework, I'd have a shower first but that's pointless, I may as well get all the work done then enjoy a shower or maybe a bath, mmm nice.  

Okay, let's do this day!  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

At least I've upped my fruit intake.

Thursday 9th December 2021 
Whatever you are, be a good one.

Busy day yesterday getting stuff done, rushing round but still got to enjoy going to work and seeing our members, I'm looking forward to doing that again today.

Food wise, I had an apple and a pear for breakfast, a veggie omelette for lunch, then it went downhill with a slice of pizza and a bag of popcorn for tea followed by a small tiramisu!   Being led astray ain't I, can't pass the blame though as I have the power to say no and I know I will, it's just a novelty at the minute, it won't last. 

I'm definitely making broccoli cheese today because I want it used up, I've got a third of the omelette left which I'll have for breakfast with a bit of fruit, I might make some healthy blueberry muffins later or tomorrow, just found a recipe on pinterest that I fancy doing, great way of getting goodness into kids and adults alike.  Blueberry Oatmeal Greek Yogurt Muffins - Healthy Bluberry Muffins (frugalmomeh.com) 

Ever the optimist ain't I that I'll have the time and / or inclination to do stuff, I was told by someone yesterday, 'I love how optimistic you are', it was said in a slightly derogatory way but you know what, if you go into something expecting to fail then you will!  If you go in with optimism and enthusiasm you have more chance of succeeding and that's who I am and always will be if I have my way.

I better get ready for work :) I've been up since half four enjoying the peace and quiet and a mug of tea, but now I need to move my backside!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Mid week already!

Wednesday 8th December 2021 

You are amazing, just the way you are.

Well I gained 1.5lb from my travels, which I'll take, after realising I didn't just eat breakfast and dinner every day, I also had McDonalds twice, a fancy meal out and I consumed almost a bottle of Bailey's over the course of the week, nice in a cup of coffee isn't it!  No to remind myself 'It's not Christmas YET!' 

Yesterday I had banana and Greek yogurt with a little agave syrup for breakfast, lentil soup and bread for lunch then for my tea I had eggs and tomato on toast.  I was encouraged to have a slice of cheesecake though, I need to learn to resist and say no now and not be led astray. 

It was great to be back in our meetings and catch up with everyone, have a giggle, see them celebrate their losses or even their maintains/gains because they'd be celebrating life over the previous week. 

I collected Alfie's ashes which was sad and made me emotional but now he's under the stairs with mom and when I get the opportunity I shall scatter them together on a beach in Wales where they can play together forever on the sands.

I shall mostly be eating eggs today because I have loads of them that need using!  Might make a big omelette and add peppers and onions, some sweetcorn and peas maybe, mmm yeah, good plan.  I really enjoyed the soup yesterday too, so lots more of that planned for the foreseeable, great way to get some goodness into me.  With Christmas around the corner and overindulgence guaranteed, I want to focus on healthy foods as much as possible right now, fruit, veggies, fibre, vitamins, minerals, all that important stuff.  Plenty of fluids, get moving again because I'm not walking Alfie so I'm not getting any daily walk in.

Once again, life has changed and I'm adapting and readjusting, change is the only guarantee in life, it's all about how we react to situations.  I'm all for focusing on the positive, showing gratitude and making the best of every situation thrown at us. 

With that in mind, I'm going to get ready for work, put the bin out, prep the veggies for my omelette which I think I'll have for lunch, thinking fruit and yogurt for breakfast, just had me a lovely vanilla latte for 74 calories, nom nom. 

Here's to a very, great day, I'm looking forward to mine - are you?

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Back to reality with a bang!

Tuesday 7th December 2021
Don't wait for January resolutions, change habits now!

That's the first time I've gone over a week without blogging since I started over a decade ago!  My life has changed beyond all recognition in the last 12 months and there are changes happening that I don't feel should be blogged about, only because they concern other people and unlike me, not everyone is happy to share their lives publicly with the world!

I think going forward I'll blog as and when and just be cautious of what I cover, it'll just take some adjusting which is something I've become very good at over the last few years.

I feel like I've been away for ages, but at the same time the week went quickly - does that even make any sense.  I'll be interested to see what the scales say this morning because I've done a cooked breakfast of bacon, sausage, beans, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes and toast every day, except one when I had fruit and yogurt.  I've also cooked a proper meal every night and we tended to skip lunch, or have a snack - damn those blooming peanuts, oh and the bottle of baileys that I nearly finished over the week - oops!

The good news is there will be a lot more fruit in this house going forward, we are getting seriously healthy and I know we will because when it's not about me, I take it more seriously - how mad is that! I was the same with mom, always made sure her needs were looked after and neglected my own. 

It was lovely to walk into a warm, tidy house yesterday, the tidy lasted less than ten minutes but hey!  Last supper was chippy shop, fish and chips, I left the batter and loads of chips, there was just too much, one bag would do 2 or 3 people when you're having a huge fish with it.  I reckoned they weren't yellow chips, but he insisted they were because he'd said yes to them when asked, I think they probably asked "plain or yellow chips" and he replied yes, or whatever he did say, they didn't understand him because his accent got thicker they longer he was back home in Ireland!

I've got a very, very busy week, lots of sorting things to be done.  My house suddenly seems tiny in comparison to the house we've just left.  I need to pick up Alfie's ashes from vets, that'll make me cry - AGAIN!  I keep having my moments, when I forget he's gone, I go to say something and remember and my heart hurts a little bit again. 

I pre-ordered a shop to be delivered this morning, lots of healthy stuff, plus I'm gonna use the fish and other food in the freezer, back to Ireland for Christmas so will try and save what we can by using what we've got and hope that Covid rules don't get changed and we get to go!

Right, I'm off to shower, so looking forward to catching up with Elle, Carol and the Owls, here's to a great day, it's a bit nippy out there this morning!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Tears are cleansing x

Friday 26th November 2021

Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they're there.

Comfort Eating!  Enough Said! 

Actually it's not enough said is it, we all do it to some degree but what we tend to overlook is that comfort eating is not just eating in response to negative situations but positive ones too.  We all need to be cautious of that over Christmas, the positive, but then again, it's not what you do between Christmas Eve and New Years day that matters, it's what you do from New Years day to Christmas Eve, so let's enjoy this Christmas shall we?  

I definitely didn't think about my eating yesterday and my choices weren't great, I did manage scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast but then it was picky crap at tea time, I just felt blah when I got home last night, the house was empty, I opened the fridge door and looked towards the kitchen door and he wasn't standing there staring at me like he always has been for the last 12 years.  It'd been a hell of a day, Carol couldn't bring herself to sit in the front of the car with me because that was Alfie's seat.  Then Elle, Carol and I all had a cry together whilst setting up the room ready for the day ahead.  

I was very grateful that no one asked me about it, thanks for that, I hope that, they'll continue not to ask because I really can't talk about it without crying and I don't want to keep going over it again and again, he's gone, he was an epic little dog and he'll be missed and is unreplaceable. 

In other news, it's 29 days to Christmas, I'm so glad I'm not going to be home for it now, everything will be so different and that will be a relief!  This year has been full of so much sadness, today is Lucy's partners funeral which will be very emotional, my beautiful friend is so sad as you can expect and angry with the world.

I've never been so glad to have someone in my life to share all this with, even if it's only been over the phone, he did offer to drive back, but I said no, I'll be glad when he does get back though, it's been the longest week, watching my poor boy suffer and knowing in my heart before being told by the vet.   I think I've known for weeks now but didn't acknowledge it.

Amongst all the sadness and tears, I'm still happy - that's madness isn't it but I can see the future, once the sadness starts to subside, I know that I have lots of happy times to look forward too. Silly things like being able to pop to town like I did yesterday without worrying about what to do with Alfie, because even when I left him with my sister, he still really stressed.  I don't remember the last time I was able to go somewhere and not worry about how long I was going to be and how mom/alfie were because I wasn't there and what they'd be like when I got back.  It's such a relief but obviously tinged with true sadness.  I'm sat here crying again, my bloody eyes are all bloodshot with massive bags underneath them and we haven't even got to the funeral yet!

Let's focus on the positives!  3 good things from yesterday

Elle, Carol & I arranged a Christmas lunch outing for December. 

I spoke to my mate Katie, haven't seen her since end March and we arranged a catch up too.

Elle and I put a smile on someones face.  It feels good to do good. 

Actually amongst the tears there were more than 3 good things...

I took a neighbour to buy her sons Christmas bike. 

I bought Christmas PJ's in M&S, ended up with 2 pairs for £35

Chatted on the phone for ages - I'm not on my own just because I'm the only one in my house.

Carols still gonna house sit whilst I'm away, she'll get a break from her hubby & I'll get my house cleaned :) 

My bestie wished me happy thanksgiving from Vegas reminding me of the wonderful holiday we had together 10 years ago in New York.  

See even amongst the sadness, there's always something good to look to.

On that note, I've been up since 4am so I'm gonna have another mug of tea. 

Mwah, luv ya 

love me xx

  

He had 12 really good years

Thursday 25th November 2021

I have no quotes in me today!

I'm struggling for words this morning, I knew Alfie wasn't good and hadn't been himself for a while but I didn't realise I would be returning from the vets without him yesterday.  Actually I did have the thought that he wasn't long for this world but still it was a blow.  This morning I look like crap, tears have been a plenty since I walked out that door, sleeps not been great but I know it was the right thing to do and I'm relieved that the vet told me it was time. 

Please if you see me, don't ask me the why's about it, just know he was a poorly boy and he's out of pain now, for those who believe (I wished I did today) he's probably running round barking at mom saying, 'where the bloody hell did you go!', I've asked to have his ashes back and I will scatter them together in Wales at some point next year.  

Oh I can't type this morning, it's all too raw, if you have a pet, go give them a cuddle, same with your loved ones.

I'm gonna go make me another cuppa and work on stopping crying!

Mwah, luv you 

Love me x

23lb gone in total, chuffed with that!

Wednesday 24th November 2021

Eat to fuel your body not to feed your emotions.

I managed to lose 1/2lb, once again really pleased with that, especially as it's only 30 days to Christmas!  Damage limitation now, do what I can when I can, enjoyed beans on toast yesterday for brunch then had a small pie out the freezer with a slice of bread and spread for tea, not the best choice, neither were the half dozen biscuits I ate yesterday afternoon.  I won't be doing it again though, the heartburn I had when I went to bed was a savage reminder, my body can not handle that kind of food! 

Alfie was very subdued yesterday, slept most of the day, he's still asleep now, taking him back to the vets this afternoon so will see what they have to say.  Poor little love, I just hope he's not in pain, he's still eating which is a good thing isn't it, I guess.

Oh I need to be a bit healthier today!  What's happening is I wanted a dirty big doner kebab and I've resisted since Sunday, I should just get it out my system!  I can't go stand in the chippy cos of Alfie being so bloody anxious, so he's saving me from myself I guess.  Maybe I should make my own, using that recipe that everyone used to make, Donor Kebab (behappyowls.com).

I'm going to have a good mooch through the freezer today and find something absolutely delicious to eat, so that I don't want the kebab because it will also give me heartburn!  I'm sick to death of getting it, that's one thing I did inherit from my mom, my brother gets it really bad too.

I had a lovely chat with a friend yesterday who's started her own little business and will be at Wednesfield Christmas market next Saturday, but if you'd like a sneak peak, she's be at our huddle this Saturday.  She also has an etsy page and people buying locally don’t have to buy via Etsy, she has a card machine so you can pay cash or pay via card and collect and pay no postage! https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/katescornergiftstore  We should all try to support local businesses. 

Ah well, I've just enjoyed a lovely mug of tea, got a morning to look forward to at the huddle, hopefully the vet will have more good news for me and yay it's Wednesday, half way through the working week, I'm lucky cos I love my working week but I also love my weekends, got to be careful not to wish my life away ay. 

Let's do this day shall we, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

 

Baby, it's cold outside!

Tuesday 23rd November 2021

Be Enough for yourself first!

The good news yesterday was Alfie doesn't have that really nasty bacterial infection, instead the little love has 2 other infections in his ear, but hopefully we've got them under control.  I'm not to do anything with his ears now and when I take him back tomorrow for his jab so he can go on his holidays next month, they'll have another look in his ear and see how it is.  He's slept since we got back, been a bit whiny in the night, woke me up a good few times, good job I love him because I was really tired!  

Had my hair cut too, just a trim, she curled it for me, which once it had dropped out, had a lovely bounce to it, shame I'm a lazy bird with no 'girlie' ability because I'm unlikely to do it again, you never know though, I'll try! 

The scales are a calling this morning, I'm not hopeful after our night out Saturday and my lack of tracking over the weekend!  Damage limitation for the rest of the year I think, do what I can when I can and enjoy the opportunities to have a good time.  No supermarket shop this week, I'll be living out the fridge / freezer / cupboards, breakfast yesterday was tomatoes on toast, then I had sliced beef, potatoes and asparagus for dinner, but I did pick at some cheese and biscuits later which didn't help the outcome today.

Hopefully this weeks huddles will give me some ideas on how to survive the run up to Christmas without doing too much damage at the scales!  At least if I don't buy anything this week, that'll help limit the damage I can do.  I fancy beans on toast today, saw a pic on Facebook yesterday and thought mmmmmm, maybe an egg on the top too.  That's brunch sorted!  

Right let's get ready for the day ahead, 31 days to Christmas, I am really looking forward to all of it, but first work, I'm looking forward to that too!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Enjoying living a 'normal' life

Monday 22nd November 2021

Oh hello week, let's do this...

32 days to Christmas!  OMG, that's exciting ain't it - or is it lol, it has to be the most expensive time of year, then you get to eat lots of loveliness but know at some point you have to get back to reality and work at getting it off!  

I've had a lovely weekend again, actually went out on Saturday night, met up with my brother Ian for a few too many drinks!  G&Ts go down way too easily, the only upside was we didn't eat when we got back, so saved a few calories there, I did have a cheese and onion cob up the bar in the Summerhouse though. 

Yesterday was a day of rest, only went out to walk the dog, had a Maccy's breakfast delivered, had to be done apparently, I've never really been a fan but I had a bap thing rather than the muffin and it wasn't bad to be fair.  Oh I've just remembered Saturday lunchtime we went to Well Lane cafe and had a breakfast, I went for a medium, he opted for large but wow, that was a damn good breakfast and ain't it nice not having to cook, everything tastes better.  That was the only meal we both ate Saturday though, scales will be interesting tomorrow!

Busy day ahead, having my hair cut this morning, Alfie is at the vets this afternoon, then I'm off to pick up a couple of tops from the lovely Jessica (2) Jessica's Boutique | Facebook Christmas pressies for myself :) 

I need to sort this weeks topic out for the huddles first!  I better get my backside into gear, I'm sat watching Adele at the minute.

Let's have a great day and an amazing week. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

No rush in me today

Friday 19th November 2021

Grow through what you go through.

A cracking good day was had yesterday, huddles fab as always, Elle and I secured two new venues for the new year - watch this space!  

Alfie's perked up a little, he's still not right but he's getting there slowly hopefully.  Let's just say I had chicken casserole for dinner yesterday minus the chicken which was consumed by Mr Alfie so there's nothing wrong with his appetite, bless him. 

My house is full of Christmas in boxes right now, my tree came last night so I'm going to get it out the box today just to make sure it's all in working order, because I'll be well miffed if I get to Ireland and there's a piece missing!  My baubles are epic, I'm so excited, I bloody love Christmas, especially now there's no barriers, so sparkly :) 

But it's not Christmas yet lol, so I'm not looking at food products because that's dangerous.  We've got to have a few more healthy weeks before then, more fish, veggie food and white meat and less red meat and fatty stuff.  If you c know of any really good veggie stuff out there, let me know. 

Got our new journals coming today, need to get stuff tidied up in this house after my sort out, I'll potter today I think, I want to go mooching round the shops but that'll have to wait till the weekend.  

I have no idea what's on the menu today, need to go check the freezer for fish, don't think I have any salmon, but I do have cod, ah we'll see.  I have no rush in me today, I've had a decent sleep, I'm proper chilled, love Fridays I do.

Here's to a very, good day 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

Let's have a great day!

Thursday 18th November 2021
Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. 

'What relationship to you am I?'  I've just watched a video in my FB memories from this day last year and that was what mom said to me!  I don't know why all of a sudden but I've been a bit emotional yesterday and this morning, it could be all the memories that are showing on Facebook.  Also I did some sorting upstairs yesterday and found the last few of moms clothes which I put in a bag, that was another reminder.  Lastly I started thinking about Christmas and getting a little excited about the idea of getting a big tree and decorations and this is the first one without mom, the last few were just shit, she wasn't even in the room really.  I want to start creating new traditions, we always had egg and chips, not this year, I want a proper Christmas roast, it's only 37 days away, that'll fly won't it.  I want the rest of this year to be filled with laugher not tears, so my emotions can get themselves back under control, maybe I'm just hormonal too because I don't feel sad if that makes any sense at all.  The joys of being a woman!  

One a positive I've filled lots of bin bags and had a good sort out making room for a few more nice tops lol :) I do love (7) Jessica's Boutique | Facebook she has some lovely stuff!  

A busy day ahead so no time to overthink thinks today and instead of focusing on a to do list how about we all start on a to be list, such as happy, calm, loving, healthy, BeYOUtiful, those things will do us much more good than cleaning the kitchen sink!  

 I enjoyed a lovely bit of fish yesterday with butter sauce, one of the packets but I added extra cod, had it with rice, mushrooms and peas, bloomin lush it was.  Teatime I had one of those small pizza's and add a few extra toppings, nom nom.  Not a bad day food wise at all.

I've been on the phone for half hour so I need to get a wriggle on now!  Here's a great day, let's make it a good one.  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Still losing!

Wednesday 17th November 2021

Be you, do you, for you.

There's nothing quite like seeing a room full of people proper belly laughing, what makes it even funnier is when the topic is so bizarre you couldn't explain it to anyone who wasn't there really, now that's my kind of morning and to top it off, the members lost an average of 1.5lb each, which is always what we want, success for our members.  

I managed to lose last weeks gain plus an extra 1/2lb so now my total loss is 22.5lb, need to stay focused this week and get another loss, the weekend after will be a challenge, a party, but again, I can be good on the not a party days :) 

I'v finished my week of completing the class journal, I will continue with my own tracking as it has made a difference, but I won't always be sharing it with everyone, that's added pressure I don't need lol.  

I didn't get any housework done yesterday, I was out till lunchtime with Elle looking at potential venues, then I took Alfie to the vets.  No further forward there, still waiting on swab results, so back there Monday to check his ears again, the stress of having drops in his ears has increased his anxiety so his skin has flared up from him scratching again - happy days - not!

Today I plan to get some tidying done, I need to paint the kitchen at some point but I've got to psych myself up for that!  I fancy fish for dinner, maybe with rice, I've had too much red meat again since the weekend, so a few days of lighter food is in order. 

We ordered new journals yesterday, they should be here Friday, I'm looking forward to these ones as I've made them a little different this time, plus now I've started tracking I'll enjoy filling it in. 

Time to get my move on and get my day started, here's to a very, great day 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

We are enough!

Tuesday 16th November 2021

Take that step - the step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are.

Last week in huddles we talked about self love and one affirmation we recommended members use daily was 'I am enough' because you all are, whatever you weigh, it doesn't define you and if you can learn to love yourself you're more likely to succeed with your weight loss goals because you don't take care of anything you don't love!  

I didn't have a a great food day yesterday, skipped breakfast, had egg, chips and peas for dinner with was lush, then I found a part baked baguette in the cupboard and cooked that, ate some with butter, then the chocolate biscuits appeared and I ate 3 of them and drank a big glass of cold coffee.  WHY?  I was tired I think, so believe it or not I went to bed at half five to watch tv because I was tired and I'm sure I was asleep by 6!  I woke up at 9 because my new neighbour starting drilling!  Thankfully it only lasted 5 minutes, because it was sawing at 9.30 Sunday night.  I woke at midnight then slept through to half five, bliss.

Spent a lot of time on laptop and phone yesterday, but got stuff done which was a good thing, Alfie went for a walk, he's not right, he's scratching like mad again but had a bit of a better night, back at vets this afternoon, also looking at a potential new venue with Elle - eek!

I'm going to have a better food day today, I have a cottage pie needs eating, so that's dinner with veggies.  I'm not hungry this morning, so maybe a bit of porridge, we'll see.  

I'm sat drinking a lovely mug of tea wondering if I have a hope in hell of a weight loss this week!  I've enjoyed tracking my food but not been keen on sharing the evidence with others I won't lie, which is weird because I post my stuff all the time, maybe it's that choice thing, who knows but I do know I've ate stuff I wouldn't usually, I mean chocolate biscuits - I can't remember the last time I ate one, it's because they're in the house.

I've acknowledged this weekend, I'm a feeder!  I like to make people happy and food is one way of doing that, so I've been buying food he likes, but then I'm tempted so that needs to stop, because let's be honest, it ain't doing him no good either, neither of us need to be gaining weight!  It's bad enough that he walks over the Co-op at the weekend for a loaf but comes back with bloody giant monster munch and honey coated nuts, deep sigh lol.  Note to self - make sure we have enough bread and milk at weekends!

Right busy day ahead, not sure how the scales will react when I step on them but hey "I am enough", I'm just trying to get a little healthier for the sake of my joints, oh and I'd like to get back in my old clothes too.

Remember you're BeYOUtiful xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

 

40 days to Christmas!

Monday 15th November 2021

Find joy in the ordinary.

I've had a wonderful lazy, relaxed weekend, I didn't even leave the house yesterday!  Alfie seems a little better in himself, just sleeping a lot, but doesn't seem in pain so hopefully the drugs are doing something, I'm to take him back to vet tomorrow afternoon,

I've filled the group journal in all weekend, it's really eye opening realising how many calories you consume and how many you could've consumed if you didn't think twice before dishing up or cooking.  Breakfast yesterday was an egg sandwich, now usually I only have 400g bread but had 800g loaf so that doubled the calories, to balance that, I went without the bacon. 

The beef dinner, only had roasters and not mash, but it soon added up to a fair amount of calories, I forgot to take a photo which is a shame.   I did enjoy my chocolate biscuit and latte though, just shows how easy it is to consumer 1500 calories in a day!  

Two more days of the class journal!  Not sure what's on menu today, but I do have a cottage pie that's use by 15th (could freezer I guess, but I don't want too, might have that tomorrow, then there's a tray of chips, might have egg, beans and chips for main meal.

I have a busy day ahead so will burn a few calories, the house is back to how it looked before I cleaned it last Wednesday, so I'll have a tidy up, I've also got to get the meeting notes sorted, I've got to catch up on Doctor Who, I'm two episodes behind :) plus Alfie needs a good walk if he's up for it. 

Now what to talk about this week, decisions, decisions...

The importance of tracking maybe, because I've realised it really does make a massive difference, I would've easily eaten more if I hadn't been bothering to record it!  

Here's to finishing the class journal, then using my own to continue until Christmas and lose a few pounds, it's good doing the 3 good things too, that's made me focus on my day and what's good about my day.

Here's to making today full of good things, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Poorly dog :(

Friday 12th November 2021

You don't have to control your thoughts, you just have to stop them from controlling you.

I survived yesterday which was quite the feat as it didn't go quite as planned!  We had two cracking huddles, minus our lovely Carol who'd had a doctors check up appointment on the morning then had a fall whilst there so stayed home to make sure she was okay.  We've always appreciated how much she does for us, but having to do it ourselves made us appreciate it that little bit more!

Alfie wasn't well so I called the vets and they got him in for half eleven, his ear was full of runny, smelly gunk, and the vet took a swab to send of for testing, then informed me that he was pretty certain it was a bacterial infection called psuedomomas which is extremely aggressive and difficult to treat, sometimes it goes to the brain and the dog has to be put to sleep!  Now I have a bag full of medication to give him, I had to drive to Stafford to pick up one as they didn't have it at that surgery.  I'd drunk a litre of water whilst waiting for our appointment so as you can imagine after a return drive to Stafford, I was a little desperate for the toilet!  £160 later, Alfie slept all afternoon and I left him at home last night.

I can't complain really, for the first 10 years, his vets provided the most incredible insurance cover, for my annual fee, which is now £175 a year, he got all his check ups, emergency out of hours and medication FREE!  Then a couple of years ago they changed the cover and I now have to pay for 50% of the medication, so that consultation and medication if we hadn't got he insurance would've probably been nearer £500.

It would've been easy for me to have something high calorie for lunch, especially as it was after one by the time I ate which is late for me at lunchtime, but no I was a very good girl, I had carrot and coriander soup, on its on, a huge bowl for 192 calories. 

It was really tasty too!

I had a fancying for Lamb Chops because the slow cooker chicken wasn't floating my boat, my lovely sister came and sat with Alfie so I could fetch some and she also took away the chicken curry :).  Dinner was delicious, so good I forgot to take a photo, but trust me that was the tastiest 700 calories I've cooked for a while.   

Hadn't planned on wine but after the day I'd had, meh, then it tasted so good, I expected to finish the bottle but I didn't, so I'm happy with that.  The tracker of truth really does help, knowing I'm writing it down and others will see, is making me think about what I have. 

It's now Friday, my day off, I'm probably gonna cook butter chicken, but I have to get chicken first, turns out I ordered all the ingredients except the chicken - DOH!  What a numpty!  

I know I'm going to have a lovely day whatever we eat, I've got to do Alfie's ears 3 times a day and get drugs in him so that's going to be fun - not, but it'll be okay because I've woke up with a positive mindset. 

Here's to a fantastic Friday!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

Being accountable ain't I!

Thursday 11th November 2021
A life spent making mistakes is so much better than a life spent doing nothing!

Well, I got stuff done yesterday and my body knows about it this morning!  This was my day, cracking huddle with new members, the busiest Wednesday morning we've had so far which was brilliant.  Somehow I ended up with the class journal, I'm hoping the extra accountability will show on the scales next week.

I then got home and did 4 hours of housework, I cleaned windows and mirrors and if you've seen the mirrors in my house they're floor to ceiling (two of them!)  My house does look lovely now though, the only room I didn't get completely done was the kitchen, that's not long been deep cleaned but I'll do it next Wednesday or maybe Monday. 

Apparently 4 hours moderate cleaning earned me 856 calories, I was dancing round in-between any actual cleaning too, I was a true rock star in my own mind yesterday!  Poor workmen next door must have thought I was being attacked! 

Alfie and I went for a little walk, he'd done a long walk the day before so wasn't up to going too far, I was concerned he'd been a little quiet the last few days but he still managed to get a little frisky when he met a few dogs, so I think it's just old age. 

11,797 steps done yesterday, but only 19 active minutes so the fitbit didn't pick up the housework, that doesn't mean it didn't happen, my body knows, when I was walking Alfie, my sciatica had kicked in good and proper.  This morning, I'm a little stiff and my backs not so happy, it'll be okay though, it's all good for me. 

Sleep wise, I got my 8 hours, I actually had a little more as I fell asleep watching Casino Royale, so I don't know how it ended, feel free to tell me so I don't have to find where I stopped watching, conclusion, all Bond movies are the same really and nothing changed when Daniel Craig took on the role. 

Now back to this journal, I hadn't eaten breakfast yesterday, I wasn't hungry, so when I got home I had oats with coconut milk, the milk been recommended as a low calorie, tasty alternative for cereal and it didn't disappoint, I've just enjoyed some on Weetabix this morning. 

I skipped lunch, busy working hard, plus not hungry.  I'm carrying a water bottle round with me to ensure I drink more water, I had at least a litre yesterday, there's a bottle by the side of my bed too. 

After working up an appetite my fish and chips were mega, I really enjoyed them and all of this washed down with a couple of glasses of wine from an open bottle, so none tonight now, I did sleep like a log though, woke a couple of times but went straight back to sleep and finally awake just after five. 

Now for a day of huddles, oh I also have my dinner cooked as I did the slow cooker chicken yesterday ready, not sure what it'll be like as I wasn't impressed when I started reading the packaging!  Now I bought this when it was on offer but I would NOT pay £1.80 for it. 

It tells you to brown the diced chicken in a frying pan, then transfer to your slow cooker.

then fry the diced onion until soft before adding to slow cooker with tomatoes and the pouch of Curry sauce and stir.

That to me isn't how slow cooking works, there should be no pre cooking required, plus I didn't realise I had to add the tomatoes either, I might as well have bought a jar of sauce and cooked it on the hob in 20 minutes. I didn't follow their instructions just threw it all in the slow cooker so we'll see what it tastes like.  

Calories wise, the sachet is 70 calories per 1/4 pack, then the other ingredients 

Curry sauce sachet 280

Tin tomatoes 94

200g onion 70

600g chicken (it said thigh but I only had breast) 636 

Total calories 1080, feeds 4 at 270 calories, mmm I'm not sure that'll be worth it at all.  I will be cooking butter chicken tomorrow Butter Chicken (behappyowls.com) and that's the same calories and I know that'll blow it out the water!

Wish me luck with day 2 of my journal, it's helping already, I can tell, I'm quite pleased I ended on 1308 calories yesterday, makes me want to do similar today, thinking soup for lunch, save calories for dinner!  Breakfast just cost me 160 calories = bargain.  Mustn't forget the mug of tea also, so another  16 calories.  Yeah love the simplicity of calories, I don't eat the same foods every day, I don't want to have to eat the same foods, I like variety, calories allows me to do that.

Here's to a very, very, great day.

Mwah, luv ya

love me xx

Oops, but it was worth it.

Wednesday 10th November 2021

The words you speak become the house you live in. 

What an absolutely amazing day Elle and I had yesterday at the huddles, so many new members for November, showing people want to make a difference before Christmas!  Love the topic this week too, I do love a whole lot of self love, seeing our members realise they're BeYOUtiful and amazing already and they're going to take care of their bodies by feeding them nutritious and delicious food and losing weight at a pace that doesn't make them miserable because they don't enjoy life along the way! 

I gained a pound by the way, which is absolutely okay, I'd had that wonderful meal out with Lynne on Monday, I'd also enjoyed a Chinese at the weekend washed down by Champagne (because I can and it's nice to be treated, I mean I'm not turning down Chinese and Champagne!)  Have you noticed so many of the niceness starts with C's, chocolate, crisps, chabli :) 

That is Living and Losing at it's best, I will be having a much better week this week and I'm going to cook Friday so we aren't tempted by a takeaway, I just need to decide what to cook, it'll still be high in calories, but there won't be leftovers for the next day.  Maybe steak? Or a trip to M&S for a meal deal, or do I actually cook a recipe from scratch, but what recipe, I've been fancying butter chicken Butter Chicken (behappyowls.com) for a while and the calories on that aren't too bad, could add rice and a naan.  

Yesterday I ended up eating this for lunch yesterday, I'd forgotten I'd bought a couple of ready meals and they're both use by 11th, I thought I'd bought a normal cottage pie but it was a veggie one, now usually I'd be okay with a veggie meal but this was way too rich for me, I think it was more about the red wine than the lentils, I left half of it, the mash on the top was delicious.  If you're a veggie and like rich gravy, it's worth a go for 292 calories. 

I now fancy a good cottage pie or shepherds pie, maybe that's something for the weekend menu when I'm not just cooking for myself or when buying something that serves 2, it's good to have someone to share it with so I don't eat both portions ;)  Now to decide whether to buy or make, I do have a lot of beef mince in the freezer!

Another delicious recipe I haven't had for a while which uses mince is Beef Larb (behappyowls.com) 

Decisions, decisions, plus anyone who knows me knows all that could change in a heartbeat because I'm rubbish at planning what I'm going to eat, as what I fancy changes by the hour!  I do like the idea of a trip to M&S that'd be asking for trouble though :) 

Christmas is getting nearer isn't it, I'm starting to get all 'christmassy' - 44 days away - eek!  It really is the most wonderful time of the year!  

Today though it's Wednesday and I need to get ready for work, got a busy day planned ahead, involving a hoover and other cleaning tools, I'm going to spring clean the house I think!  Start upstairs when I get back from huddle and work my way down!  It's the windows I keep putting off, but they need to be done, so I'm going to be brave!

Whatever your day looks like, enjoy it and take care of you. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Grab a glass of water to start your day!

Tuesday 9th November 2021

Happiness blooms from within.

Well last week I was losing, this week I've been living :) I don't expect a loss today and I'm 100% okay with that because I've had a wonderful week finished off with a meal out with my bestie Lynne who I haven't eaten out with since January 2020 and it was delicious!  

This starter was incredible!  

 I didn't eat all the chips!

 We shared pudding!

At least the only other thing I ate yesterday was my breakfast which was a yogurt with a bit of granola. 

I've just seen this in my memories; 

The difference between CAN & WILL or WOULD & COULD is powerful and makes all the difference!  

This is so true, our words are always powerful and taking control of your decisions is key to success.  I can and will eat healthy for the rest of this week and I will not drink any alcohol, yesterday I drank a coffee and water so that kept the calorie intake down.  

The thing with calories is they are in everything we eat, so it's no good eating loads of low calories 'healthy' foods if you're still gonna indulge on some of the good stuff too, they all add up!

I CAN resist temptation more than indulge for the rest of this month and I WILL because I want to enjoy Christmas as it's my first Christmas away in 8 years and the last one ended with mom in hospital and changed our world, so if I have an amazing, indulgent holiday and gain half stone, so be it because that's living and losing and real life.

Here's to a day of fish and goodness, might have an egg sarnie for breakfast, I've been awake since half past three this morning, lay there for an hour, then gave up and got up!  I'll be ready for a decent breakfast full of protein and goodness.  I'll also take a bottle of water with me to keep my fluids up, I drank a lot of water last night but didn't wee much (too much information?) so I'm obviously not drinking enough and a little dehydrated.  I'm working my way through the freezer, so cod in butter sauce for lunch, maybe with rice for a change rather than mash and lots of veggies. mmmm.  Damn I forgot to get the chicken out the freezer to defrost for the slow cooker chicken curry, I'll do that now and I can have that tomorrow. 

Right I'm off so I don't forget to do it!  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx