Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?

10^th July 2011

Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?

Well I’m feeling much better than I was this time yesterday, although my poor mom isn’t, she seems to have the same symptoms that I had sickness and headache, so maybe mine wasn’t just a hangover after all, I did think it was a bit odd to feel that bad.  I hope mom’s is only a 24 hour thing too, she hates feeling sick.

I had a very lazy day yesterday, and it’s done me the power of good, this morning I’m going to spend some time planning my week and cooking some food, might even venture over Cannock Chase later, I’ll see how I get on with all the tasks I want to complete. 

It’s important to get the balance right, all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.  So yes we need to make time for fun.  Not only do we become boring (and bored) when we don't take a break from work, we also become unhappy. A common belief is that the only way to be successful or to "get ahead" is to push ourselves to the breaking point, neglecting other aspects of our lives in favour of our careers. While working hard is admirable, few people at the end of their lives wish that they'd put in longer hours at the office. Instead, they wish that they spent more time with their friends and family, engaging in activities that made them happy. Even the most rewarding job like mine can cause burnout, so making time for fun is essential to happiness. Time away can even give you a fresh perspective at work.

Making time for fun might seem difficult, if it's on your calendar, you're more likely to treat it with just as much importance as you do meetings and appointments, we’ve scheduled in one day a week throughout the six week holiday to do something fun, they range from Cadbury world to Tettenhall pool and a picnic. A 10-minute walk, a comedy special on TV or even just few minutes texting your mate a joke or you could spend some time with hobby or interest. Of course, you could even book a day off to actually relax instead of using them to run errands, planning a holiday can actually be almost as much fun as taking the holiday.

Think about what you wanted to do more than anything else when you were a child: play. Children throw themselves into their play without thinking much about whether they're doing it "right" or what others may think, because it makes them feel happy. It doesn't matter if you feel silly doing activities like Hula-hooping, jumping on a trampoline or coloring with crayons. The important thing is that it's fun and it relieves stress. It's hard to be anything but happy when you're having fun. 

So today why not think of a way to have some fun.  When I walked Alfie last night the entire estate smelt like a giant burger, I think there may have been the odd BBQ occurring, it looks like it’s going to be another bbq type day, so enjoy it.

Or are you looking for happiness in all the wrong places, unfortunately as a society we tend to look for happiness in all the wrong places: overeating, excessive drinking, using drugs, retail therapy.  We think these things will bring more joy into our lives. And while they may offer a brief high, disappointment, despair, distress and even depression often take over.

Why do we do this? Sadly, a large number of people are suffering from an undiagnosed epidemic that I have named “If Only” Syndrome. Here are some examples:

“If Only I was thinner, then I would be happy.”

“If Only I had more money, then I would be happy.”

“If Only my kids would put their stuff away, then I would be happy.”

“If Only my ex wasn’t so difficult, then I would be happy.”

And yet “If Only” syndrome causes us to be even more miserable.

Take, for example, the thought “If only I win the lottery, then I would be happy.” Did you know that the average lottery winner is not any happier than anyone else? Even those who win hundreds of millions of dollars. Sure, they may experience more exhilaration initially. But after about 6 months, research shows they return to their original level of happiness. Sadly, many even become more UNhappy because of the stress of suddenly having so much money.

We fall victim to “If Only” syndrome and look for happiness in all the wrong places, not because we are stupid. Rather, it is because we have not learned the proper skills to being happier. So, vaccinate yourself from “If Only” syndrome and become happier right now.

Happiness is a skill. Just like playing an instrument or sport. And if you practice the right skills, you can improve. Isn’t that promising?

Even better, you can be happier REGARDLESS of what is going on in your life. You need not wait for your financial situation, relationship or children to improve. You can become a happier you right now.

“How is that possible?” You might be asking.

To be happy, just be GREAT. That is an acronym for:

G = Gratitude

R = Relaxation

E = Exercise

A = Assist others

T = Take care of yourself

Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have rather than discontent about what you lack. Every day write down at least three things you feel grateful for, that you appreciate. Maybe it is a sunny day, your child putting his shoes away, a good cup of coffee, or a call from a friend. It doesn’t need to be huge, just something positive.

Relaxation: Stress can be the nemesis of happiness. And we all know how stressful life can be. So make sure you take time out to take some deep breathes, meditate or listen to relaxing music. You don’t need to carve out an hour of time (although that would be great). You can do deep breathing in the car whilst waiting for your kids to come out of school!

Exercise: Research show exercise reduces depression and stress, enhances your mood, improves your self-confidence and even helps you sleep better. So, get your body moving today. You could even do this with the kids - bounce with them on a trampoline, ride bikes, go for a walk over the park.

Assist Others: Helping out others will increase your own happiness. Look for opportunities to help out others - and include your children. It could be as simple as opening the door for someone.

Take Care of Yourself: Make sure you get the nutrition, sleep and fun that you need to be happier and healthier. I realise many of you might be thinking “Is she mad? When do I have time for that?!” But hear me out – it’s important to your psychological and physical health. How many hours of TV do you watch each day. Imagine if you took just one of those hours to focus on you. Give yourself and your children set bedtimes that you stick to. Choose healthy choices for meals for yourself and your children instead of getting takeway (cheaper too). A happier you will not only experience more sustained joy but you will also benefit in so many other areas of your life. People who are happier tend to also enjoy better relationships, improved health, less stress, higher levels of energy, more self-esteem, a greater sense of purpose and a longer, more prosperous life.

So how about it? Be GREAT and become an even happier you!

xx