Day 7 of Social Distancing!

Saturday 21st March 2020
The comeback is always stronger than the setback.

Well we're losing all concept of time in this house, up at 4.30am this morning but I think I was in bed and asleep before 9pm so not so bad and although the sleep isn't completely sound, it's rest.  I'm trying not to watch the news more than once a day, but am guilty of going to the BBC website as soon as I get up to see what's happening and check the figures, which is a bid morbid I guess but I can't help myself, it's a time to be concerned.

Yesterday  3,269 confirmed cases,  643 new cases, UK deaths 144
Today 3,983 confirmed cases, 714 new cases, UK deaths 177

And this is just confirmed cases, so many people have said to me that they think I had it last month, so there's bound to be more, which is proof that we do have to take the self isolating and social distancing seriously.  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/health-51966112/coronavirus-what-is-social-distancing here's a Great 1 minute video about social distancing.

It's been 7 days since I last ran a physical workshop, this time last week I was getting ready to go to work and we were joking about it!  Little did we know what would happen next....  I for one am so glad that I can work from home, it may be a little strange and I may be missing seeing all my members but thankfully with these virtual workshops I'm getting to check in with as many of them that want to.  I'm on today at 9.45pm (access from the Wolverhampton Connect Group on WW app, make sure you've downloaded Zoom). I'm on with Elle too, so that will be great as we both do Saturday morning workshops and we have known each other for a very long time, 15 years since she walked into my workshop as a member - wow where's those years gone!

Working from home and social distancing does come with it's own challenges, for me mom seems to be a little more confused because my sister isn't coming as often and although she usually moans about her coming it appears she likes her coming!  I have to work from my office so she wonders where I've gone and thinks I've gone out, especially as Alfie tends to follow me so she thinks she's home alone.

Other challenges which are more likely to affect you too, are the working from home thing, you need to set boundaries and have allocated work times, I haven't done that this week, I've worked pretty much 24/7 meh, well, 15/7, I turn my phone off when I go to bed.  This has been because it was such short notice and there's been so much to do, once it's all settled a little and there's time structures, it'll calm down and I'll work more structurally.

Not sitting round in our PJ's, this is a lethal idea, if we can't feel our work clothes are getting tighter, we'll be in trouble when we can return to a normal work life.  Routine, we all need to establish one to suit our situations.

That spare time you would've had to go out and have fun with your loved ones, use it constructively.  Oh and remember you can still go out at get some fresh air if you're not self isolating.  I was going to do the bathroom upstairs yesterday but I didn't, instead I spent some much needed time with mom and rested, I also took Alfie out 3 times,

This was Alfie on the park with Ted, completely ignoring the new social distancing direction!

It was lovely to see him play though, if I can I'll co-ordinate with Kel to try and get it to happen more often so he can interact with other dogs, ooo maybe now my Bestie is off work, she can meet us too!  I do think that's what they call an upside to a bad situation.   Trying to make the most of all this!  It was only half hour, but he really enjoyed it and mom was okay for that length of time.

Foodwise, I had melon for my breakfast with yogurt, got mom to have some melon too, put a bit of syrup on it to encourage her.  For dinner I had mash topped with a bit of cheese and WW beans.  I did indulge in a packet of Walkers and I'm guilty of picking a bit more than I probably would, opening the fridge, taking a bite of cheese, I made the mistake of buying some Boursin, oh that stuffs so good, but 40g is 7SP OUCH!

Super Dave came to my rescue and delivered me a chicken and some stewing steak, plus Persil bless him, he really is a super star.  I'm going to make a stew today and we can have a chicken dinner tomorrow now.  Then next week, I'm going to sort my kitchen cupboards and meal plan from them.  It's a good time to have a good Spring Clean all round.  Can you believe yesterday was the start of Spring, now some sunshine would be amazing, a mini heatwave next week so folks could sunbathe in their garden, that'd be nice.

Mom's on good form this morning, she's much better in a morning, just asked for a second cup of tea, she made my sister a lovely birthday greeting video yesterday too.  Hopefully she'll stay good for as long as possible today, she started to switch around 4 yesterday, wanted to go home, she's really struggling with that, thinks that even if this is our house, they've moved it to wherever we are now.  So difficult to have that conversation and decide how to handle it, yesterday she was going to pinch stuff she liked and take with home with her when she goes home tomorrow lol, so at least her true nature hasn't disappeared, she always has been a little tea leaf, many a time when we've stayed in cottages she's wanted to pinch things that caught her eye, proper magpie she is!

Anyway, I better get on with my day, I've got to get ready for my virtual workshop, I really do hope lots of my members log on and support me and each other.

Here's to make today a great one in some ways.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

I did my first Virtual Workshop!

Friday 20th March 2020
When people ask 'What do you do?" Answer "Whatever it takes!"

Well I did my first WW Virtual Workshop, it was brill, so lovely to see and interact with my members via the internet, at least if we can't all be together in a room, this is most definitely the next best thing.   I had the best support coach helping me (thank you Kay).  Over 40 members in a virtual room catching up and supporting each other in these difficult times.  I'm looking forward to doing another one in the morning at 9.45, the link to it can be found in the Wolverhampton Connect group on the WW app, my virtual workshop times so far (unless they make changes) are;

Tuesday 8.30am & 5.30pm (the 5.30 one I'm supporting Elle)
Wednesday 5.30pm
Thursday 8.30 & 5.30pm
Saturday 9.45am

The links to all of these are in either the Wolverhampton Connect Group or the Dudley & Walsall one, there's a pinned post at the top of the group with all the virtual workshops and a link at the bottom of the post.

I had another very busy day, I feel like I've forgot how to use my crochet hook!  I did more housework!  I won't recognise my house when I finally get to go back to work, yesterday I did the laundry, sorted that huge pile of clothes out and organised moms drawers, semi organised mine, if I get really bored I'll do mine.   Think I'll do the upstairs bathroom today then I can finish it off with having a bath as I'm not having a massage.

Mom's had a better night thankfully, it's all confusing for her, she's sort of understanding what's going on but not completely, then she'll forget anyway and ask me if I'm going to work.

I did make the effort to eat good food yesterday, I had a couple of slices of stale bread so I whisked up an egg to make eggy bread, enjoyed with with green pepper, cherry toms and a packet of smoked salmon, a little bit of indulgence, that I probably won't be able to afford going forward.  I think we'll all be pulling in our purse strings.  I'll enjoy the food I've got at the moment though and then start thinking about what I can afford, hopefully by then there will be food in the shops!

For dinner we had a cod fish cake with a creamy cheese filling for a bargain 7SP

I'm working my way through the fresh stuff in the fridge before I start on the tinned and frozen, I'm staying away from the shops to give others a chance who need it more. 

I was saddened to watch on tv and read how because people are panic buying, care homes weren't getting the food they needed in their deliveries to feed their residents.  Nurses who are busy in the hospitals caring for us aren't able to buy food on their way home because there's nothing left.  A working mom on Facebook hasn't been able to get nappies for 3 days, disgusting behaviour by others.   this video just made me cry ;(

But a lovely thing I did see that might helps some parents panicking about what to do with your kids, was this post from Lyndsey Drohan, I've shared it on my personal page.

Ok. So as many know I will always remain a nursery nurse at heart. I spent 22 years of my life reading books to children and I'm pretty good at it. I have decided to try to a a Facebook live each day of the school closures reading a children's book / chapter of my/ my children's choice. I will try to do this at 7pm every day as long as I remain well. Please let me know if you think this would be a good idea. #bekind

Isn't that a lovely thing.  I'm doing what I can to stay in touch with my members using my Facebook group, I know all my members aren't on Facebook but it's a great time to consider opening an account, if only for the duration of this situation.  Humans are designed to need contact with others so if it can only be virtual, that's better than nothing, I was really uplifted after last nights virtual workshop.  I can't wait to see all my Saturday gang and any visitors tomorrow, it'll keep me motivated and keep my spirits up. 

It's time to try things that we don't normally do, bless Angie on the virtual workshop last night, she said she's tried cooking lol, anyone who knows her knows she eats out a lot so I was impressed to hear she'd cooked a meal, she said she didn't like it but she ate it, that made me chuckle. 

I better eat the melon I have before it goes off, that would be a travesty in the current climate, it can be breakfast, with the last of the yogurt in the fridge.  

Here's to a great day, I think I'll be spending my morning trying to help members who couldn't get on the virtual workshop, work out why they couldn't lol.  Take care of you and yours.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Proud to be a WWer!

Thursday 19th March 2020
Your attitude determines your direction.

Tough times truly reveal what really matters!  Your true friends, resilience and resourcefulness and how amazingly strong we all are.  Yesterday I was blown away by the team work going on within WW both colleagues and members, all helping each other prepare for the changes that are taking place.  We were launching our virtual workshops this morning but I found out late last night, it's now going to be 5.30 this evening, more info will follow this morning on the app.  If you're a member please ensure you join your connect group for your new Studio to find a Zoom link that will connect you to your Workshop.  For my members that will be Wolverhampton and/or Dudley & Walsall.  Zoom is pretty easy once you've got to grips with it, you'll want to know how to use audio and video so you can speak and be seen (you don't have to be you can just be a blank screen.  It usually prompts you as you enter to do that but I know on iPhone a few have had to go into settings, find zoom and give the phone permission to use camera etc.  

Anyway, after a morning doing Zoom calls with a couple of coaches and a few members to test it out, suddenly I looked at the clock and it was afternoon and I hadn't done my live video for cooking, https://www.facebook.com/WWBev/videos/202792247616513/ it wasn't my finest hour, I was a bit rushed, stressed, aware of the fact I'd neglected mom all morning but I did it, I promise the next one will be better and I'll have an ACTUAL recipe I can share with you all lol.  Speaking of recipes this one looks delicious and I have the ingredients to make it so I may give it a go;

Mom's not had a great night, she bought me a note in the middle of the night :( to tell me where I could find her, these changes are of course confusing for her, but we're doing okay.  I managed to clean another room, I did my bedroom yesterday so that's 3 down, 4 to go, saving the hardest till last, and really you could say 5 if you include the landing as this is where I have baskets of laundry that I know needs doing but I don't want to do it lol, I also need to do the living room early morning before mom gets up.  Anyway I do believe there are people that do this sort of cleaning constantly, meh, I'm never gonna be one of them, but I am loving having a clean, tidy kitchen, although I spilt a load of 

quinoa on the floor yesterday, I wasn't impressed with that.

Mom wants a cuppa and as other than working loads on WW stuff and cleaning, not a lots going on in my world, stuck in the house and just walking the dog, there's not a lot to share.  So let's all have a safe day and take care of each other.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

When life throws you a rainy day, play in the puddles - Unless you're self isolating of course!

Wednesday 18th March 2020
worrying won't stop the bad stuff from happening, it just stops you from enjoying the good.

Unless you're self isolating of course!

Well it sure is strange watching everything going on in the world, looking out my window there's no cars going to work, yesterday I put my bin out and wondered why everyone else hadn't then realised eventually it was Tuesday not Wednesday, I'd got them mixed up because I hadn't gone to work.

For me not going to work is the only thing that's changed really because as moms carer, I've been rarely leaving the house to do anything else anyway, I've been doing social distancing for years, you all staying at home have a small glimpse into my world as a carer, if you're home with someone else at least you can have conversations, focus on the positives.   There are some wonderful things being done out there by others for those who need help, it's truly heart warming. 

I did my virtual training for our WW virtual workshops yesterday, got to do a more today and then we'll be good to go from Thursday - hopefully, no doubt the first couple I do will feel odd but it'll be fun getting to interact with others, my sister and Vicky are the only two people I've talked to since Saturday, but again that's my norm even before this happened, unless I'm at work the only social interaction I really have is via Facebook, so I'm used to the solitary.

I did a Facebook live in my group for my members yesterday and I might do a cooking demo today I think, about lunchtime, I'll do that on my Facebook page so anyone can watch it.  https://www.facebook.com/WWBev/. 

Mom's watching it all on tv but not really aware of the severity of the situation, my sisters going to stay home more as she comes in more contact with people than I do, she can drop bread at my door.  She made me pie though so it's all good,  I enjoyed it with WW beans, nom nom. 

I thought this morning about my massage, not sure what to do or if they'll be open by Friday.  I've had a cough for weeks and weeks now, a few of my members even suggested I've already had it, I did feel dreadful for days and the cough, well I'd never known one like it, now it's just a persistent cough but not a new one, I can't take my temperature because the thermometer I have appears to be broken, I don't feel ill though, I managed to do housework yesterday so some might think that means I'm sick lol.

Yeah I deep cleaned the wet room and my kitchen, the only bit to still do in the kitchen is sort my cupboards, if I get bored I'll do that.  Today is WW training, I think I'll sort the laundry, it's everywhere and I can do that whilst in the same room as mom because she's been neglected a lot the last few days as I've had to do so much WW stuff and it does affect her mood if she's left alone too long.  Then there's the cooking live I'll do, that won't be more than half hour though as I'm going to look for something simple to make or wing it and see what I can do with ingredients I find.  See the thing about cleaning the kitchen is I don't like to mess it up again so cooking is gonna kill me! 

Anyway, I'm trying not to stress about things I can't control and worry about it all but it's obviously on my mind because I found myself awake again last night for an hour or so at midnight, when I realised I wasn't going back to sleep easily, I started listening to my audiobook, I'm halfway through another one, so at this the situation is helping me get my 50 books for my 50 year read!  I was off out with Vicky Saturday we were going to the theatre, that's off but they're returning our money thankfully so when we can, we're going to enjoy a meal out together instead because I'd already realised if I can only have one night out a month with my mate I'd rather be chatting and eating than watching a show. 

Right, I'm off to, well to do nothing very quickly, I'll put the bins out as it's the right day today!  

Here's to being kind and supporting each other as best as we can xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

Virtual reality

Tuesday 17th March 2020
We don't grow when things are easy, we grow when things challenge us.

Well Monday is normally my day off but not yesterday, since WW announced that our workshops are going virtual until April 4th, you can imagine I've had a lot to do.  I woke up at 3am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I've just done my first training session to get us ready for virtual workshops starting Thursday!  A lot of technology, but I'm hoping my members will embrace it and not fear it, it'll be really easy once you know how and it's new territory to all of us so it'll be fun learning together.  

For those of you at home who are having to self isolate or just generally at home more because of the advice not to go out unnecessarily, if you're well it's a great opportunity to focus on eating healthier, and WW have  put together a new set of 5-day myWW meal plans, including vegetarian, pescetarian, gluten-free, dairy-free and vegan.

These are available to everyone to help with meal planning or to provide an overview of all the delicious meals you can eat on WW, and to show how easy the programme is to follow if you're thinking of joining.

With people going crazy and emptying stuff off the shelves, you could also consider trying new foods, like grains, couscous, chick peas instead of pasta. Let's get creative I say! There are lots of recipes on the WW app for you to look through.

Away from WW, back in Bev's world, well it's been a strange few days, I have managed to get mom out for a drive a couple of times, but I don't think I'll even be doing that for a while now with all the new guidelines. For a couple of weeks I plan to just walk Alfie and stay home, thankfully this new virtual workshop idea will enable me to do that. We had a doctor come to access moms capacity yesterday, we applied for power of attorney last year and they're doing all the checks. I'm not sure if they'll allow it now, if the feel she's fit to decide but my heart was filled with joy as I stood in the kitchen and listened to her talking to him in the front room. She may have been confused about some things but she was adamant that she trusted me and that I loved her and would never do anything to hurt her, she told him I've always taken care of her. That'll do me, as long as I can keep her feeling that secure, I'm happy. By the time we went to bed, she wasn't sure where she was and she was as confused as hell but me being here assuring her can only help.

Now with the not getting out and working, I won't be loading and unloading my car so I need to think of a way to stay active, not just walking Alfie. I'm going to start by keeping my house a good top to bottom clean and sort, probably not today or tomorrow as I have a lot of new stuff to learn for work but hopefully come the weekend, I'll be getting bored and needing something to do. Then I want to decorate moms bedroom too, that'll be the real challenge.

I also need to get my eating back under control, I didn't eat a proper meal at all yesterday just kept snacking on bits out the fridge. So yeah today I will take back control and a bit of normality, gonna do a Facebook live in my group this morning at 10 to answer any questions my members may have and just to let them know I'm here and we're all going to get through this together. I might even do a cooking demo on my Facebook page at some point, we shall see how things pan out.

For now I'm going to get back to my training and planning for my virtual workshops, I do love to learn new stuff so this is good for me and a great thing for all of us to embrace. Download the zoom app if you haven't already. https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/zoom-cloud-meetings/id546505307, I'm assuming you can get it on Samsung too through the play store ZOOM is what you're looking for and then you'll be able to get to a virtual workshop through the app, more instructions to follow! 

Right I'm gonna go make me a cuppa, moms sleeping soundly for now, Alfie's spark out on the landing, so I'm going to enjoy a little peace and quiet.  I know we're all feeling overwhelmed right now with so much uncertainty for so many.  Please look after each other, it's important for us to focus on as many positives as we can find, I've just seen that an 103 year old lady has become the oldest to beat the disease, make sure you do what you can to share the good news, there's plenty of people out there sharing the bad news for us! 

Here's to a great day!

mwah, luv ya 


Love me xx

Challenging times

Monday 16th March 2020
When people support each other, incredible things happen.

Well I'm sat here thinking what to say, yesterday morning after writing my blog, whilst I was walking Alfie I found out that WW were temporarily going virtual and closing their workshops until April 4th. 

Mixed emotions obviously, I enjoy going to work, it keeps me sane, it pays my wages but at the same time, I (nor WW) don't want to put my members or myself then my mom at any risk so I am proud to be part of a company that cares this much.  

These are unprecedented times and I know that this news is going to raise many questions from my members (it already has) for example how will virtual workshops run? Some members have even been concerned about me and my wages, see they're not just 'members', they're people who care about me and me them.   I know WW have people from all areas of the business working on this and they were holding an emergency meeting yesterday where they were continuing to work through all the answers to our questions and they will follow up with further communication as soon as possible.

Instead of seeing it as purely negative thing, let's use this time to our advantage.  I know you won't be able to step on official WW scales, but for 3 weeks let's be liberated from the sad step and focus on other ways to tell if we're doing well.  Go get a tape measure and take your measurements;

Here's how to do it right (cos we need instruction - NOT!)

Measuring your body.

• Waist: Find your natural waist or the narrowest part of the torso.
• Hips: This is the widest part of your glutes. Try looking in a mirror while standing sideways. Make sure the tape is parallel to the floor.
• Chest: Stand with feet together and the torso straight and find the widest part around your bust.
• Abs: Stand with feet together and torso straight but relaxed and find the widest part of your torso, often around your bellybutton.
• Arms: Stand up straight with the arm relaxed and find the midpoint between the shoulder bone and the elbow of one arm.
• Thighs: The midpoint between the lower part of the glutes and the back of the knee, or the widest part of the thigh.
• Calves: Halfway between the knee and the ankle.

Next, take some photos, go on - do it, do it, in your underwear, take a few pics, use a mirror to do this if you're taking them yourself, or ask a loved one to take them for you.  Then you can re-take them in a month and notice the difference.

I think everyone is looking to hear what's happening next from the Government, some of you will be going to work today as normal, some of you may be self-isolating, we're all going to be feeling differently, some of you will be worrying more than others, some have a more blasé attitude, there is no right or wrong, but what we do know is this is happening, I'm no expert but from what I've read and heard, at some point we will all get the virus in some form and the reason to isolate us is to stop the spread being so immediate so that the NHS can cope!  If all the nurses and doctors get it, we're a bit stuffed ain't we.  I might be wrong and they may be more to it but that's what I believe.  

If you're anxious about it all, there's an article here about it; https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51873799 in a nutshell it's suggesting limiting the amount of news you watch and be careful what you read, there's a lot of misinformation.  

Let's stay connected with each other, this is where social media can be great, I plan to stay in touch with my members in my group and also look forward to running these virtual workshops using Zoom which is really easy to use by the way, so don't worry about it, you can get it on your phone

 Well I think that's enough for today, here's to a very great day!  Take care of each other. 

Mwah, luv ya 


Love me x

Went for a drive didn't we!

Sunday 15th March 2020
When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves.

Well this Coronavirus affected my workshops yesterday, I was at least a third of my members missing and I'm guessing that's most likely why, so much information and opinions coming from all over the place.  A member at the scales said to me, I bet you're really worried about it all because of your mom and I was like, 'No!', truth is like with everything else, I don't think about what could happen, I deal with the now, not saying that's the best way of coping but it works for me.  My bestie asked me yesterday if I'd thought about what I'm going to do in the future if mom gets worse, then looked at me and said or are you just handling it day to day.  Yep day to day is how I survive this dreadful disease and it's how I'll continue to cope with anything that comes along.

After what was still a lovely workshop with my lovelies, I walked into my house and said to mom, 'fancy going for a drive' and she said yes!   That's the first time this year I've got her out and we drove round for an hour and a half and she talked non-stop, enjoying the scenery and watching the world go by.  It was wonderful to have her in a good mood, it really was.  I even got her to eat some dinner when we got back (she lives on crisps and biscuits mostly these days!).  Yeah she had the same as me, but a lot less, I'm loving cod at the minute and this was delicious, Alfie helped me eat the carrots (random boy) and for 3 hours you wouldn't have really known dementia was in the house. 

For a good hour, she talked and talked and talked and it was lovely. 

And then as if someone flicked a switched, she turned, started by saying things like "it doesn't look like any of my kids are visiting me again!"  Her mood completely turned to a negative one and thankfully we ended up going to bed early because at the same time Alfie was having one of his moments too, sat next to me panting and panting, I wished the vet hadn't messed with his medication, it was working so well and now we've got to wait for them to regulate again.  

She's woke up this morning in a good mood, asking me if I'm Bev or Anne, then saying she's sorry for how she is and she tries not to be but she's grateful that we're looking after her.  It's bloody heartbreaking, I mean look at that love face above, she's the most BeYOUtiful mom in the world and then when she turns it's like she's been possessed, I've almost took a photo because her face chances, it's like something from a horror film but I don't want a physical record of that image, it's already burned into my memory and I hate that it is because it's such a hurtful, painful image.

And this is why I just can't worry about my weight right now, I'm trying to eat healthier when I can but having something tasty to eat and drink is one of the things I have to look forward to, I'm not gonna lie.  Yesterday was a really good day compared to the week we've had, but on those really bad days, well...

I really want to give her room a good clean and maybe paint it but I don't want it to make her worse than she already is, she already doesn't know when she's at home or somewhere else and wanting to go home but all of a sudden I'm aware of the dust in there, it's a bloody mess to be honest.  Maybe if we all have to self-isolate or they close my workshops, I'll have the time and energy to get it done in a day and put everything back where it was just cleaner so she doesn't notice.  

Anyway, now I've got all that out of my head and dumped in my blog, I can start another day.  I do hope reading this makes you appreciate what you have and makes you want to make the best of every day. xx 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

I am not grateful for....

Saturday 14th March 2020
It's okay to be a glow stick, sometimes we need to break before we shine.

Yesterday I talked about gratitude and resilience and they are both things that are helping me right now cope with everything that's going on in this crazy household but whilst walking Alfie yesterday, I thought I should also blog and tell folks that it's also important to not forget you're human.  It's okay to have a melt down, just don't unpack and live there.  Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.  I had a full on meltdown because the post man had left a card and I'd missed a parcel I'd been waiting for, I was okay within five minutes of my screaming and balling.  

But you know what, being a carer is bloody hard work, no one tells you how to survive a role nobody in their right mind would apply for! Oh and not forgetting you’re aren’t trained to do!  Then of course you won’t get paid to do it either so you'll have to continue doing your other job. 

With this in mind, I've come to accept that for the time-being I'm unlikely to have my ‘best’ body!  Instead I'm settling for being the best I can be taking into consideration everything I'm trying to contend with. 

Now I do love a gratitude list but sometimes you need to vent.  It's okay to have a pity party, just don't let it keep going and going, blow those candles out and get on with it.  I just thought instead of a gratitude list it'd be a great idea on days where you feel like that to do an Ingratitude list. Because sometimes life's a bit poo ain't it.   Go on you know you'd enjoy it don't ya, 

Today I'm pee'd off because... 

What I'm struggling with right now is.....

Sometimes it helps to write it all down.  The hardest thing to do when you're feeling low or everything is going wrong is to think of something to be grateful for and then you feel even worse, or you manage to think of 3 things but the next day you're struggling again and write the same thing down as the day before and now you feel like a real sad sack. 

Writing a list of stuff that's causing you to feel the way you are, once it's all written down in front of you, you can start to really focus on how you feel and why, whether you're feelings are justified or magnified, you can look to at each on in turn and see if there's anything you can do about how your feeling, the things that are pee'ing you off, the stuff that's causes you to struggle.  It's better to do that Than to write a list of 3 things that always end up being, family, friends, my dog.  

For example, nah I'm not going to do an example because everyone is bothered by different stuff and I'm not putting ideas in your head, we all struggle with stuff, trust me, it'll be easier to write these lists for most than the gratitude one.  Just getting it off your chest helps, we all like a good grumble don't we, or just to talk, my sister and I were messaging each other yesterday about mom, I could tell she just needed to get it out there because holding stuff in eats away at us.

Coronavirus will probably be on lots of peoples lists!  I was asked about whether they'll close my workshops a few times and at first I was mmm should I be worrying about this, I don't tend to worry about stuff till it happens if I can help it.  I've decided if they do, I get to have a week or two off without having to worry about arranging cover which is what I'd have to do if I wanted a holiday and is one of the reasons I don't bother.  I've managed to turn a potential bad situation into a not so bad one in my house.  I have laughed at the articles I've read about people getting cabin fever from being stuck in the house, they want to be stuck in the house week in, week out with someone who has dementia and violent tendencies, they ain't got a clue!  Ooo yeah see, having a rant and doing that list will definitely be therapeutic.

Anyway I gotta go, moms just got up so need to go sort her and get ready for work.

Here's to not catching Corona today xx

Luv ya, mwah

love me xx

Free stuff - love it!

Friday 13th March 2020 
Every morning we get a chance to be different.  A chance to change.  A chance to be better. Your past is your past.  Leave it there.  Get on with the future part.  

Repeat after me "Today I refuse to stress myself out about things I cannot control or change."

Another challenging day with mom yesterday, my poor sister got the brunt of it this time, but I can't think about yesterday, today's another day, let's focus on that. 

I've just gone through my emails and I've had one with something for nothing (always a bonus), it's for two Free ejournals  that's the link to take you to the website, then scroll down and you'll see them one is a Gratitude journal the other Resilience journal, I've just downloaded both, this is how the gratitude one starts;

If there is one emotion that can instantly shift how we feel about life and the world, it’s gratitude. Gratitude comes from paying attention to and appreciating what we have in life that makes it all a blessing. Gratitude is the one emotion that can ll our hearts with joy and happiness.

The resilience one is the one I'm interested in today though after such a difficult week with mom, I'm having to dig deeper than I ever have before, I feel bad for my sister because I wished she hadn't got to sit with my mom when she's being like that, if I could be in two places at once that would solve one problem but I can't.  So I liked the sound of a resilience journal. it starts like this; 

When you encounter a difficult situation, you have two choices: you can let your emotions take over and become paralyzed by fear and sorrow, or you can lift yourself out of negative thoughts and transform pain into possibility. It might seem like you have no choice but to suffer. Negative events happen, and most of the time you can’t control them. What you can control is the way you react to them. It’s important to remember that you have the choice and the ability to bounce back from adversity. A resilient mindset is like a muscle that needs to be conditioned and strengthened every single day.

Life is a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. It is inevitable that you’ll encounter challenges at some point. And while these experiences might bend you, they do not have to break you. This is where the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” comes from. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to feel any negative emotions. It is fundamental to detect and embrace pain, fear, sadness, stress, and to know where these thoughts are coming from. When you can begin working to understand how to move forward, and with which tools.

This journal was created to help you through this process and to train your mind to nd and maintain peace, even during the hardest moments.

I like this idea a lot, I do love a journal and it has some gorgeous, I'm not great at filling them in continually but if I get something from them at any time then that's good enough.  So getting a couple of things to try for free is a win-win.  

Here's a gratitude exercise for you to do from the book, I think we all need a distraction from the C word at the moment!  

I am grateful for my...

Family because....

Friends because...

Career because...

Body because...

Past because...

Abilities too....

Access to...

Love of...

Do stop and think about those answers, don't just get on with your day, I'm going to cut my blog short so you have a few minutes. And yes I will do it myself too, because I really need some positive thoughts going on right now, so here are my answers;

I am grateful for my...  

Family because.... my sister is just amazing, and I know if I need my brothers to do anything practical for me, they will, or they'll know a man that can.  

Friends because... oh where to start, because they are always there offering support both practice and emotional. 

Career because... It has given me so much to be proud of over the last 15 years, it's introduced me to so many amazing people and right now it's giving me an escape from what can be a difficult life at times.

Body because... It just keeps going, over the years it's taken so much abuse from me, pushing it to it's limits physically, overfeeding it, underfeeding it, yeah it's a pretty awesome thing.  

Past because... It's taught me I can survive, what doesn't kill ya and all that! 

Abilities too.... wake up each morning and start my day with positivity despite whatever's happened the day before. 

Access to... I'm a bit stumped on this one, not sure what it means actually, but I'll say Access to clean running water, electricity and gas in my house that enables me to live in a comfortable, warm home and gives me the means to cook delicious food.  Yep, access to my iPhone and computer that helps me stay in touch with the outside world when I'm stuck in this lovely home of mine. 

Love of...  nature, I never tire of seeing a sunrise, a fresh bloom or a bird landing on the telegraph wires outside my window, yep this world is an incredible thing.  Also love of my mom because without that deep bond, I don't think I'd be able to do what I'm doing right now!  


There now your turn, here's to a great day 


Mwah, Luv ya, 

Love me & remember,  

   

Strange noises in the night...

Thursday 12th March 2020
Be thankful for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.

Well I woke around 4am this morning to what I thought was the sound of a recorder, you know that 3 blind mice instrument we played at school, then I lay there thinking was it the wind because it had stopped, I closed my eyes and got a burst again, after a couple of times I got out of bed to have a look and couldn't see anything, so got back in, the heard noises outside so looked at the cctv on my phone and there was two vans outside, so got back up and their St. John's Ambulance and a lady was walking up next doors path, so I hope the old lady is okay, I was only talking to her yesterday when I put her bins out, she told me she's 89!  I'm assuming the noise was some kind of alarm maybe?  St John's are community first responders and a charity so if you see them out and about with a bucket throw some coins in.

I've managed about 6 hours so that'll get me through the day.  The nurse came to see mom, she chatted to her for a while took some info, told me she's going to talk to the doctor and they'll review her medication, then she's going to come back on the 30th as she's on annual leave next week.  She was full of great ideas like suggesting mom tries a day centre but mom was having none of that.  She did suggest that people who were willing to visit mom maybe just turn up rather than me asking if she wants a visit and that way she will probably enjoy their company and it'd be obvious if she didn't want them there anyway.  I did have to agree with that as when people do show up, she does seem to enjoy the distraction but it's so important to keep her talking about positive stuff because once that nurse had gone mom turned nasty again and was refusing to have my sister round!  It sure is a testing time for all concerned.

I experimented in the kitchen, making a cauliflower cheese and broccoli lasagne, I also roasted chunks of butternut squash and pureed it to make a sauce, adding some roasted garlic and water to thin it out.  I put a layer of cauliflower and broccoli then poured the squash puree, followed by a layer of WW lentil lasagne sheets, then I poured a carton of passata over the lasagne sheets, added another layer of cauliflower and half a grated block of Arla protein cheese, then added another layer of WW lentil lasagna sheets and covered them with white sauce (450g skimmed milk, 40g plain flour, 40g low fat spread stir continuously until boiling then simmer as thickens) and finally topped with the other half of the Arla protein cheese grated.  Baked in oven on gas mark 4 for about 40 minutes.

The only thing pointed was the cheese (11SP), the WW lasagne sheets (19SP), white sauces (15SP), so it was 45SP in total but I did get 8 portions from it, so only 6SP a portion for all that veggie goodness.

The one thing I'd do differently I think is the squash puree, not for me, the squash tasted better in roasted chunks, I wish I'd just layered that with the other veg and poured more passata on it all.  You only learn what you like by experimenting!

Well I've already drunk my first tumbler of water, staying hydrated is the plan for the day ahead, not planned my meals but as I'm up earlier than usual I'll go check out the fridge and cupboards and make a plan, maybe take something out of the freezer.

Here's to a great day, looking forward to seeing my Bloxwich babes.  It was lovely to see the blossom on the trees yesterday as I walked Alfie, a sign that Spring is here and Summer won't be far behind it, this is the best time of the year, can't wait to start sitting up the garden getting some vitamin D.

Are they glorious.

Right I'm off, mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Always believe it's going to be a better day

Wednesday 11th March 

It's not realistic for every day to be a great day.

It might not be realistic for every day to be a great day but it doesn't stop me waking up hoping it will be.  I woke up yesterday emotionally exhausted and honestly worried for my mom as her behaviour had been dreadful over the weekend, but instead of focusing on that, I focused on the day ahead, what I could do about the situation and went to work to enjoy my workshops.  After going for the blood test (yak to needles) I called Brooklands chasing up the call I'd had 3 weeks ago, got passed around a little but finally talked to someone who said they'd get the lady looking after the case to call me back and YAY she did too, she was lovely and is going to come this morning at 9.30 before her weekly Wednesday meeting with the doctor, so hopefully that will help with mom.  She's woken up quite lucid regarding her condition this morning too, so hopefully she'll be open and honest with them about how she's feeling and behaving.  Oh and yesterday turned out to be a great day - go figure, mom was loads better than she had been all weekend, her mood was much milder and when I got back from work last night we watched 3 episodes of a programme about the south west coastal path and we really enjoyed it together, it bought back memories of us walking the Pembrokeshire coastal path together, yes she was getting mixed up but I could see she was remembering bits and that was wonderful.  She even said, 'is that too far to go for a day trip', that's the first time she's made any mention to wanting to go or do anything in forever.  Never assume when you get up that today is going to be as bad as yesterday because then you will make sure it is!  Always hope for better - ALWAYS! 

I managed a better day food wise, had a couple of slices of toast and a big mug of tea for my breakfast.  For lunch I enjoyed this 10SP 💙 goats cheese and onion focaccia, smoked trout, home made chutney and salad was delicious!

I won't lie I did eat half of moms slice of focaccia bread that she left so that was another 4SP (work it though!).  

Then for tea, now I'm going to explain how my brain works here for your amusement, because this is why I have excess fat on my body, notice I didn't say why I'm fat, I'm not fat, I have fat!  I have skin but I don't describe myself as skin!  Anyway, I was feeling lazy about cooking my dinner and I've been fancying a chicken chow mien but it's not easy to just stop on the way home for a takeaway, so I thought ooo I could use Just Eat, it's Tuesday and they offer 20% off some places on a Tuesday, so I went to look at the app.  There wasn't a Chinese offering the 20% but my favourite Indian was, so I thought ooo Tandoori chicken wings, but they didn't do wings, but they did do Tandoori chicken, plus other things I like plus you have to spend £15 to get the 20% before I knew it I had £30 odd worth of food in my basket.  Then I thought, I should offer to get my sister something after all she is sitting with mom all night so I messaged her and she said NO!  Well it was like someone had slapped me across my face, she was my, what's the word I'm looking for, she was going to say yes and justify me ordering this food, but she said no because in her words, 'I'd only be having one for having one's sake', well suddenly I realised I was only having one because it was 20% off, but I wanted a chow mien which would cost £6 so instead here I was about to spend £30 to save £6!  Yep, I'm a moron but I was also sulking because thanks to all the MORONS in this country I couldn't get an online food delivery because not only have they bought all the bog rolls they've taken all the delivery slots too, fools, thanks for that, I struggle to get to a shop to get food, my mom must go through a dozen loo rolls a week so if I'm lucky I have a weeks supply.  

Anyway, I'm happy to inform you, I didn't order Indian and had a can of WW tomato soup with bread and spread, GO ME.  It's all about the small things, the good choices that balance out the not so good ones.  

Yeah, loo roll or no loo roll, we've got this, today will be a great day.  When you're feeling that you've got a lot of crap going on in your life, listen to others, you'd be amazed to hear their troubles are often worse than yours.  I know that doesn't make you feel any better or make yours any less but it is a reminder you're not the only one, I realised this yesterday listening to some of my members, no wonder we're carrying more fat than we'd like.  Sometimes it's not just because we purposely eat too much food, often its because we're that busy helping others, doing stuff for everyone else, trying to be here, there and everywhere that we grab what we can when we can.  👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 to all of you for even trying to think about healthy eating and weight loss, you're truly amazing.

On that note, mom's calling me to help her get dressed so I'll see some of you later and I'll be back to bore you on my blog tomorrow.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me.

Oh and have a great day xx