Losing my weight didn't make me happy!

25th February 2017

Love yourself first and everything else falls into place.

For some losing weight has a massive positive impact on our lives, especially when you lose a lot of weight, it can completely change your life in every way!  After having a chat with a mate yesterday and talking about how stepping on those scales makes her feel when they're not going in the right direction, I pointed out that it's hard not to let those numbers on the scales have a negative effect on you when watching them go down in the first place had such a positive impact on your life and it's true!

In my meetings this week I've mentioned how getting to goal in 2014 was one of my life low points, trying to explain to members how it didn't make everything better. We all know losing weight has a positive impact on our health and it makes us feel better for so many reasons but it doesn't solve everything and that's what I've talked about, I honestly thought by getting to goal my life would suddenly be perfect - how wrong I was.  What it actually did was reinforced by a conversation with another member - it made me stop and look around and see that the things I'd been blocking out whilst I'd been "in the zone" on my way to goal and realise things were still making me unhappy, my life wasn't what I wanted it to be, I didn't enjoy my job anymore, I wasn't satisfied with my world, which was one of the reasons I'd been overeating in the first place, blocking out the stress and unhappiness with food.  I still didn't feel "good enough".  Once I'd realised that, I went on to work on the other aspects of my life, then I found my smile, I love that Weight Watchers actually incorporates this into their programme now, there's actually a programme material focused on the SMILE aspect, success isn't just about about the weight loss, it's about so much more.

Chatting about this to my mate and asking her about how Weight Watchers and being my member had changed her she told me, "I didn't feel I was good enough before, I connected being thin with being attractive and I felt I wasn't attractive, my reason for joining Weight Watchers was pure vanity, I didn't have any health problems, I just thought if I got thin he would find me attractive.   I now don't worry about that and you & Weight Watchers have taught me, beauty isn't what you look like on the outside - it's what on the inside, and I'm a good person and I love the way I look and I know now the people who love me, love me no matter what I weigh, getting thinner has just been a bonus to be honest, oh and I'm now a pretty good cook too, even if it takes me 3 attempts to make butter chicken!"  No she maintains her five and a half stone weight loss for herself because she enjoys dressing in nice clothes but doesn't feel that she has to be a specific weight, more one that's healthy and comfortable for her to maintain.  She's healthy now and although back then there weren't any health issues, she's well aware there could be if she was to regain the lost weight which is helping her to stay focused on maintenance.

Another leader had also commented at our area meeting that, when I'd said that for the first time, it had helped her, she told me "I had literally come back that day after corrective surgery to my breasts, and you dropped that pearler 'losing my weight didn't make me happy'  if that was the case, why would anyone ever regain the weight? I can remember letting a huge sigh of relief and feeling, thank God it's not just me, because I was desperately unhappy following goal.  Had I been encouraged to embrace me, my habits, my quirks I would have been better equipped, which is why, now I am, unstoppable! Thanks Bev for letting me off!! Xx"

And look at Rachel now, almost 10 stone lost;

I won't lie, when she told me this, it actually bought tears to my eyes because society makes us believe that if we're thin enough everything will be okay and that's just not the truth!  How many 'thin' unhappy women do you know? In addition to losing weight we need to embrace who we are, know it's okay to be us, quirks, flaws and all, although I don't think anyone has flaws, we have characteristics.  So how about we all start accepting and loving ourselves,  empowering each other and working together to achieve the best versions of ourselves possible because when women support each other - incredible things happen!

There's a lovely couple of pages in the Weight Watchers journal that asks you to 'celebrate amazing you' because sometimes we need to remind ourselves how amazing we already are.   Just take 5 minutes to big yourself up (I bet the majority of poeple reading this will struggle to do it), I'll start you off...

- I am BeYOUtiful

Go on come up with at least another ten things!

Here's to a wonderful day of working towards the best version of yourself, a journey that never ends. xx

Woke up to a glorious sunrise - how blessed am I!

24th February 2017

No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self acceptance

It's only blooming Friday!  This time next week I'm likely to have a bit of a thick head #justsaying #Dry4Dementia Txt DRYF47 £1 to 70070 - yes it will well and truly be the end of my month and I will have enjoyed some red wine before bedtime.  It'll be worth it though as I'll have raised well over a grand for Dementia UK https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/timeforacuppa and will be a week away from our 10am Tea Party on March 4th at United Reform Church, Old Fallings Lane, Wolverhampton WV10 8BH, I do hope lots of people come along for a cuppa and a bit of cake and bring their pennies to have a go out our raffle and whatever else we have to raise money.

Anyway that's next week, back to today, not the best night's sleep and I've woke up with a funny head but I've got all day to get over it and get ready for my lovely meeting tonight at Essington.  

Yesterday I stuck with No Count, made a pancake for breakfast, I was experimenting with my nutribullet and put a handful of oats in (I'd guess 30g max) and whizzed it up till it looked like flour. then I added 2 eggs and a banana and whizzed again till runny.  Next I spray lighted my non stick frying pan and poured it in, leaving it for quite a long time until it was moveable, then managed to flip it.  I'd definitely make it again as it was really tasty, I finished it off with a spoonful of agave syrup drizzled on top.  Even on a counting day it would only cost 8 Smart Points, it was so filling though. 

We had chicken and chips with gravy and peas for lunch, then I didn't bother with any dinner because I drank a huge glass of skimmed milk at my meeting so wasn't hungry.  Undecided about what I'm going to do today as yet, love having the choice though, Counting or No Counting - Weight Watchers Smart Points is the business!

And whilst I'm talking about how great I believe the plan to be, let's talk about Weight Watchers, because as I posted on Facebook yesterday afternoon, for me Weight Watchers isn't just about the weight I've lost, it's about so much more - self acceptance, the confidence to be naked for a photo shoot, to go out in public and look & behave like a knob, to be okay with a bad photo going on Facebook, being able to love me regardless of what I weigh. It's important for us all to remember we're BeYOUtiful as we are, Weight Watchers cam help us to get healthier and find the best version of ourselves. I couldn't be any happier with my lot whatever I weigh!

I would tell anyone looking to lose some weight and change their relationship with food and themselves to find a local meeting, get a supportive coach and a wonderful new circle of friends - it's changed my life, it could change yours www.weightwatchers.co.uk

Just a handful of the memories I've made over the last 13 years, whilst finding the best friends and developing a better relationship with food, it's great being comfortable in your own skin, liking the person you've become and being liked by others.  Oh and the miserable cow on the left was me before Weight Watchers!

Don't get me wrong, I still look at the odd photo and think 'ooo I look good in that one' and others and think 'what on earth' but the not so good ones make me smile, I was born with this face and this body, some things can't be changed and I'm happy to say I don't want to change any of it.

The only thing that would make my life better right now would be if I'd woken up to a clean, tidy house, oh how fab would that have been!  Instead I've woke up to a bit of a mess.  But it's all good because it's going to smell good soon,  my lovely member and mate Natalie bought me some of her lovely smelly samples yesterday https://natalieann.scentsy.co.uk/ and I've ordered me a warmer (I'm not good with smelly candles after I once set my office on fire).  I realised I needed to have another tidy up though when I was sat trying to work out where I could find a clear space to put the warmer as everywhere is a mess ;) oops, never going to be a naturally tidy woman am I.  Hey ho, I think I'll sort the kitchen this morning, if I'm honest though, I'm only doing it to justify buying a second warmer that looks like a teacup, I think it will add a bit of class to my messy kitchen.  

 Having said that, my messy kitchen might have just made me a couple hundred quid off 'You've been framed' as I had an email from them saying they might use my cooking demo video where everything fell on me - result!

Right I'm off to get my water as I haven't had it yet - mom pinched my glass last night from my office I reckon... 

Here's to a lovely day, it's calmer out there today, Storm Doris has done one thankfully, smile BeYOUtiful, think of one thing you glad of, even if it's only that you got to wake up this morning because one poor love from Wolverhampton didn't get to because of that storm!  Life is so precious, appreciate it. xx

Today I shall mostly be pulling faces!

23rd February 2017

The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise and diet.

Yesterday's eating didn't turn out great, my bestie couldn't make lunch and I got consumed by work instead so ended up with a sandwich for lunch, breakfast had already been a corned beef and cheese toastie and dinner ended up being home made pizza things using the last of the Warburton toastie pockets, I won't buy them again, I wasn't impressed.  All in all, way too much bread was eaten yesterday, so none will be consumed today at all.

There was also cake!  Oh yeah, I found this lovely looking cake in the cupboard I'd bought for mom and it looked tasty as, so I weighed a piece, gave that to mom because it was silly points, then cut a smaller piece and had me a slice.  It turned out it wasn't as good a cake as I was hoping to eat, so I wasn't tempted to have more. 

What a grim day yesterday was, the weather was bleak round here, real grey and wet and drab, Alfie and I still walked in it though, once we were out in it, it actually didn't seem so bad.  A bit like life, it's not so bad once you get out there and get on with it, it's too easy to sit and over think stuff and let that stuff get you down.

There seems to be a lot of people out there right now feeling low, I personally think it has a lot to do with the time of year, we're all screaming for sunshine.  The truth is we can't do anything about the weather but we can do something about our behaviour, here are some things we know for sure;

- Weight loss success doesn't come easy otherwise everyone would be slim.

- Life's not easy - but it's not easy for anyone.

- you have a choice in how you react to your problems and your weight loss journey!

It's all about how you choose to look at things, Two men looked out from their prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw stars.  You can focus on your problems or you can focus on your blessings.  You can accept all that's wrong in your life and wallow or you can focus on making changes.  You can focus on your imperfections or you can embrace your qualities.  One of those choices will make you happier than the other.

 

It's important to know what you want too, also why do you want it.  What does your best version of you look like?  What is your best life?  What?  What would you change about the life you have right now?

 

If you were to lose all the weight you're so desperate to lose, what would actually change, not the things you think will change, it's important to realise weight loss doesn't make everything better.   Also sometimes when you're so focused on the weight loss journey, you can block out other stuff on the way, then suddenly you're there at goal and guess what, it's not all better.  The reasons why you were emotionally eating in the first place are still there, you've just managed to block them out for the months you've been putting all your attention on your weight loss journey! 

 

Losing weight is a truly emotional journey for most, it isn't just about eating less if it's done properly, it's about working on yourself holistically - your mind, body and soul.

 

I shared a photo with my members yesterday in my group, I asked them what they saw when they looked at this picture of me;

 

Either they were all being polite or they genuinely didn't look at that photo and see an overweight women who needs her hair cutting or at least sorting out and who's got a bit of a double chin going on (I'd like to say it's a bad angle but at the moment it isn't there really is a bit of a double chin going on) .   A middle aged woman who's lost the waist she's always had, it suddenly run off when she hit her 40's!  I could go on but I won't because that's not why I see anymore either.  I wouldn't have posted that photo in my early 30's, I would have told a friend to delete it if they'd posted it too because of those reasons above.  Now I don't mind, it's me, it's the me everyone see's on a day to day basis, I'm pulling one of my faces that I pull all the time, cos I'm a face puller!   

 

When they were telling me what they saw, none of the replies were about my appearance funnily enough, actually there was mention of my smile, the replies were more about my personality, the type of person they saw me as.  It's interesting, we're all striving to look a certain way and as long as that's for the right reasons, it's all good but just know it's not why people love you and it won't solve some of the problems you have in your life.

 

It will get you healthier, give you more energy, make it easier to get around, these are good reasons, those things can make you happier of course. 

 

Yeah this weight loss lark is an interesting subject and when done for the right reasons and in the right way, it'll be one of the best journey's you'll ever take.  Use the journey to get to know yourself, to learn to like you, to find out who you really are and to accept yourself unconditionally because BeYOUtiful - you are good enough already xx

 

Oh and just for the record - my life isn't all sweetness and light, I have crap days, my mood can switch by the hour (heck by the minute), I have days where I just wanna shout at everyone to go away and sit alone in a room, yep I do, I just don't let them days win - I remind myself I felt okay the day before and this feeling will pass, then I purposely start to look for the good stuff in my life, sometimes that takes a bit long so I go on Pinterest and look for happy, positive quotes :)  

Let's work on being the best versions of ourselves - healthy and happy all the way!