Everybody can cook...

27th May 2016

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. Jim Morrison

It's been an interesting week, I'm hoping for a stayed the same at the scales today, but I'll take whatever they say because I'm happy and busy focusing on the smile moments rather than focusing on numbers.  I'm eating healthily, the weights coming off slowly and I'm enjoying life.  Summer is on its way - it is honest although you wouldn't have thought so yesterday - and when it arrives I'll spend more time outside.

Bank holiday this weekend, I hadn't realised, so we won't be venturing far, I'm not fighting the crowds, let's hope we get some sunshine and I can sit up the garden and finish my book - aahh bliss.

I'll spend a bit of time in the kitchen too, fancy cooking a potato and green bean curry, I'm probably use one of the simply cook kits and just omit the chicken.  I was talking to a member yesterday who said she couldn't really cook and wanted lessons.  I'm trying to think of easy meals to cook to help build confidence in the kitchen because sometimes it's just creating a couple of meals that work and then you realise it isn't that difficult after all.

Fish cakes is probably one of them, super easy.  I'll keep thinking, Shepherds pie another, any suggestions - message me...  info@happyowls.co.uk.  I'm going to make these today http://happyowls.co.uk/Recipes/RecipesDinner/Caulicheesecakes.html because I already have the left over mash and a cauliflower on the side that needs cooking.

I do fancy this really easy to cook dinner though;

Oven-baked risotto

Serves 4 at 14sp or serves 5 at 11sp

 250g pack smoked bacon, chopped into small pieces (9sp)

1 onion , chopped

25g butter (9sp)

300g risotto rice (30sp)

 half a glass of white wine (optional) (2sp)

150g pack cherry tomatoes, halved

700ml hot chicken stock (from a cube is fine)

50g Parmesan , grated (7sp)

1.    Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Fry the bacon pieces in an ovenproof pan or casserole dish for 3-5 mins until golden and crisp. Stir in the onion and butter and cook for 3-4 mins until soft. Tip in the rice and mix well until coated. Pour over the wine if using and cook for 2 mins until absorbed.

2.    Add the cherry tomatoes and the hot stock, then give the rice a quick stir. Cover with a tightly fitting lid and bake for 18 mins until just cooked. Stir through most of the Parmesan and serve sprinkled with the remainder.

Mmm, might need to make a meal plan ready for when then food in the fridge has been used.

Right I'm off suns smiling, ooo that was a typo, I meant to write suns shining, but I like the suns smiling better, here's to joining it today and smiling a lot!

I've got a large Heck sausage order being delivered today, so if some of it's yours please don't forget to pick it up tonight or tomorrow morning ;)

Have a great day BeYOUtiful. xx

What's to love!

26th May 2016

You can't use up creativity.  The more you use, the more you have.  Maya Angelou

"I don't know what's the matter with me!"  I hear that line a lot. It's usually when a member has lost their mojo or had a 'bad' week, fell off the wagon - you get my gist.  Who says there's anything wrong, maybe there's a good explanation for how your behaving.  Sometimes it's as easy as you don't have a lot of time and focusing on healthy eating and your weight loss has gone down the 'to do' list.  Maybe there's other stuff come up that you're dealing with instead.  Of course it could be as simple as hormones (although not much simple about them!)  Your circumstances could've changed so you're out of routine.  Maybe you've been ill.  There are many reasons we can suddenly find ourselves off track, but one thing I know is blaming yourself isn't going to help, try understanding that it's just part of life and you're more likely to get back on track quickly.

"If I was happy with myself I wouldn't be trying to change myself."  Another food for thought comment I read this morning... This was on a thread about being happy with yourself, apparently on a programme on BBC1 last night, the psychologist said

"You can't wait until you lose the weight to be happy, you have to be happy with yourself first or you will never truly be happy when you get there."

I've been saying for years, losing weight isn't a 'cure all', it doesn't solve all your problems and you should love yourself no matter what you weigh, what you look like, you don't judge your children on their looks, "Oh I like the middle one the best, she's the prettiest" or "My eldest lads my fav, he's the slimmest" I sure as hell hope you don't anyway because that would be truly awful. 

So now put yourself in that place, you look in the mirror thinking, I'll love you more when you weigh a couple of stone less, at the moment I don't love you at all!  Imagine saying that to your best friend, "Oh I don't like you as much this year as I did last year, you've gained weight over Christmas, so I'll love you again come summer when you've lost that excess weight.  Until then, I don't think we should hang out, I'm going to find me some thin friends"  Well would you and if you would, I'm glad you ain't my mate.

Loving yourself as you are now doesn't mean you don't want to take care of yourself or want to look and feel your best.  For me it means that I refuse to beat myself up because I enjoy good food and wine, and find it difficult to indulge in those things and maintain what the official BMI chart tells me is an healthy weight. According to the official BMI chart, for my height I'm overweight!  That doesn't mean until I get back there, I'm going to be unhappy with who I am and how I look.  My weight does not define me!  My weight doesn't make me less funny, less kind, less loving, less caring, my weight doesn't make me anything except maybe a little more likely to illness and that's not a given, I might carry extra pounds than some but I eat a damn sight healthier, I know woman (and men) carrying a good extra stone or two who are running marathons, I know at BMI weight folk who can't walk to the end of the street and have a fag in their mouth constantly. 

"So how do you love yourself when you want to change so much" Realise you're only wanting to change the shell, not the heart and soul, it's okay to want to change your appearance, it usually means you're getting your body healthier which is an act of love, taking care of yourself is one of the most loving things you can do, sadly so many people see a weight loss journey as a way of punishing themselves not rewarding themselves.

Oh and those 'flaws' you say you have, who said they're flaws!  Who made the "perfect" rules!  Freckles - some see them as flaws, I think they're lovely, throw red hair into the equation and just beautiful.  What are these flaws you all talk about, I ain't got none cos I'm me, yes I have a big bum, and my dimples are in my thighs rather than my cheeks - do I care - NO!    I take my boobs off at night and hang them on a door knob, is this a problem to me, no I have no issue anymore with having the chest of a 12 year old boy, again it doesn't define me, I can't change it, so I've learned to love my shape.  Some would call it 'pear' shape, I call it Bev shape. Then there's the scars, I'm covered in em, my bum looks like a map of Britain but you know what, every time I think about that I smile because it reminds me of a time in my life when I had a lot of fun and a night that I'll never forget!  The scar on my forehead reminds me I'm lucky to be alive, the one under my nose tells me not everyone is nice but they have their own issues and the one on my throat makes me very grateful for the NHS.   My wobbly belly is proof I have lunch with the ladies and it's the pressie I give to myself.  No, I don't 'hate' any part of me, I'm not perfect in appearance or behaviour, I've done things in the past I probably should have thought about beforehand and possibly not done, but I have no intention on focusing on things I can't change and beating myself up for them.  I'll focus on the here and now.  I'll love me enough to want to take care of me each and every day and I'll share my love with those in my life and love them as they are warts and all.

So hopefully I've got my point across that you can be happy with yourself now and still work on changing yourself.

Enjoy your day BeYOUtiful, notice the smile moments as they happen, be happy, if you're not happy, ask yourself why, I'll bet it's really nothing to do with your appearance! 

You don't take care of anything you don't love!

25th May 2016

To love yourself is to know that your past does not change your worth.

You don't take care of anything you don't love!  If you need convincing that you are worth loving just take a look around at the loved ones in your life, they love you and they can't all be wrong!  It's a fundamental necessity for success especially with weight loss.  Why would you bother to eat healthily and move more if you don't love yourself, why would you even bother to take care of yourself?  Not convinced?  I am because I see the evidence on a daily basis with members.

Can you imagine sitting a child or a parent down and forcing them to overeat to the point of sickness?  To the point where not only do they now feel sick but they have heartburn and indigestion and doing it so often to them that they end up with permanent stomach problems, diabetes or carry so much extra weight they're in constant pain.  What a horrid thought, I'm actually sitting here shocked at the idea of doing that to my mom, I feel sad at the idea because I just know I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't intentionally cause harm to my mom!  Why? Because I love her with all my heart and I wouldn't do anything to harm her, I love her too much.  I also love myself now, which is why I wouldn't sit overeating to the point where I'm causing myself such damage.

That's deep isn't it!  I don't know where that thought came from this morning, but it saddens me when I know that a lack of love for oneself is what's stopping some of my members from succeeding because each and every one of them is BeYOUtiful, they're all incredible and amazing in different ways, they each have their own kind of wonderful and I see that in them, sadly they don't always see it in themselves.

Don't think I don't still overeat - I do, but that's more to do with an absolute love of delicious food, I'm not doing it as some kind of unconscious punishment for not being good enough. I have a healthy balance as to the types of food and the quantity that I consume, that doesn't always help with the weight loss but hey, there's more to life than weight loss.  I just want a healthy, balanced relationship with food? Overeating occasionally isn't a problem for me as long as it's done in the right mindset and enjoyed. 

A lot of people who sit and overeat aren't actually even enjoying it, they're stuffing it in so fast, they're not even tasting it!  The only food that should be eaten fast in my opinion is a McDonalds!  And that's because if you eat it slowly you'll realise it's not so good!

Do you like yourself?  Are you constantly apologising for your behaviour?  Do you beat yourself up when you make even the slightest mistake?  Do you think about and focus on your flaws, even feel disgust or anger over then?  If you think about your own needs, do you see that as being selfish?  Are you repeatedly doing self-destructive things, or making choices that show you don't value or respect yourself? 

If you don't see your needs as a priority, maybe it's time you did!  Don't rely on other people to see the best in you, start seeing it yourself, remind yourself you have nothing to prove to anyone, you aren't your worst mistakes (we've all made plenty of them believe me!  If you haven't made mistakes - you ain't lived!) 

YOU MATTER and you don't need anyone else to tell you that if you decide it yourself...

You don't have to show the world you're good enough, you don't have to hide anything about you, just accept yourself and forgive if necessary and trust that other people will too.  Be your authentic self, embrace that version of you, let people see all your different facets, be vulnerable, trust they won't judge you and you know what, if they do, that's on them and you don't need that kind of person in your life.

I'm happy being the real version of me with people, it means I know the ones who accept me as I am, accept me completely as I am, it's better than pretending and trying to maintain an illusion of something I'm not.  

So if you don't already, why not make a decision today, to start loving you and being you, leaving the past there, focus on the here and now, you can't change what's gone but you really can decide what will be. 

"BeYOUtiful", that word means so much Be YOU, because you are beautiful, we all are, sadly some just don't see it. xx

Got no willpower?

24th May 2016

Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.  Desmond Tutu

Mmm what is willpower?  I've just seen a post on Facebook saying she has no WILLPOWER.  So what exactly is this magical, mysterious thing that people seem to think is the thing that will guarantee weight loss success? 

Willpower is the ability to delay gratification, to resist short-term temptation in order to meet long term goals!  Most people seem to believe they could improve their lives if only they had more of it, well I guess there right, more willpower, more self-control, you'd be able to eat right, resist temptation, exercise often, avoid booze etc, etc.  Yeah the number one reason given for not achieving our goal is lack of willpower. 

But you can't just blame lack of willpower surely, you don't have to resist what isn't there - so don't buy it.  Most of us spend a lot of time so we can control our surroundings there.  I know if it's in my house, I'm eating it at some point, I made the mistake of buying a delicious tomato bread in my online shop this week, it's gone, I didn't share it, it was delicious, no willpower required, I knew I wasn't resisting it!

Why else might we fail to reach our goals?  Have you established your motivation, why do you want to change, what is your goal, not just 'lose weight' be specific how much weight and why, why do you really want to lose weight - what difference will it make to you and your life.  What are the benefits, are there any negatives?  Watch your behaviour, monitor yourself, you're more likely to achieve your goal if you understand how and why you behave the way you do! 

Willpower does come into the equation and like a muscle, it can get tired if you overuse it.   That's why when you get up in the morning you're all "right I'm on it today, let's do this, yogurt and fruit for breakfast" then by 9pm you're more "Ooo what can I have, I fancy a biscuit", your willpower is worn out, you're worn out!  This is why I shop when my willpower is high then I can't eat it when my willpower is low because it isn't there!

I've just thought, how come most of us have the willpower to resist class A drugs but not cake and crap, obviously because we know drugs are illegal but we also have the sense to know they'll kill us at some point, the thing is so will the cake and crap if we have enough of it, sadly that death will be slower and probably more painful.  Daily pain, things like heartburn, stomach problems, aches and pains, all these can improve with a healthy diet.

Are you using your willpower in the wrong way?  Suppressing emotions takes a great deal of willpower, if you're using it all trying not to feel certain uncomfortable emotions and feelings you don't want to face then you're more likely to be overeating to distract yourself.

You're more likely to have stronger willpower if you're losing weight for you, if you have and know your reasons they will help, if you're only trying to lose weight because you think you should or because you've been told to, then you won't have much willpower going on there at all.

And give yourself a break too, in a world where unhealthy, mouth-watering food is everywhere and usually it's cheap, well, come on, resisting temptation is going to drain your willpower, trust me from experience, it chips away at the resolve of even the highest motivated dieters!  The behaviours of overeaters is truly complex, with numerous psychological and neurological reasons so don't just be saying "I've got no willpower", it really isn't that simple and it's just another way to put yourself down.

What's that saying, "Willpower doesn't last, well neither does bathing which is why it's recommended daily."

I prefer going with self love, I take care of things I love, so that's what I'm doing, I'm taking care of my because I'm worth it!  Now if you're lacking willpower and overeating, start by asking yourself, "Do I love me?"  If the answer isn't yes, then lack of willpower really isn't the problem BeYOUtiful. xx