Day one, Chapter 3

Monday 1st March 2021

You do not have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.

Yay, yesterday was the first day I didn't have to call my sister for backup!  It still wasn't a good day for her but she didn't kick off and refuse to believe I was me.  Actually for an hour I let her believe I was Anne, it was easier.  She's finally asleep, which isn't much use to me now it's morning lol, but we've survived another day, who needs a good nights sleep and a relaxed back, they're overrated ain't they.

I did a post on my facebook/instagram yesterday about her and how it's all affecting us, it's vile and she's horrid and I shared the post in the Dementia Daughters group being honest and saying when I see that their loved one has passed away, I'm actually jealous and I was amazed (well actually no I don't think I was) at the amount of people who felt the same way.  Until you've cared for someone with dementia/alzheimers you can't even begin to imagine what it's like.  Even more so if you're the only person in the house with them so it's 24/7, then throw a pandemic and lockdown on top of it and well, tough don't even come close.  At the same time, there are so many people in situations that make mine look easy, but knowing someone elses life is worse doesn't make mine easier.   It might be dreadful for me but it's also a living hell for her, she wishes herself dead most days, she's terrified of being alone, which is now making walking Alfie an issue and she doesn't even know how to use a toilet! 

Having amazing friends and siblings does make things easier though, I can't wait to be able to see them again.  Until I can, it's chats on the phone, they'll see me through.

SPRING is sprunging :) another lovely day yesterday, you can't beat a bit of sun for lifting the spirits.  

 
nothing as lovely as a spring walk 

I even ate 3 meals yesterday too!  

those mushrooms were in garlic butter - bloody lush. 

cheese and cucumber sarnie.

Marlie's Menu curry goat out of my freezer.

It's all about making it through March for me at the moment and that's about adapting to these changes in mom and my life.  I did manage to get that customer yesterday which made my bloody day, especially as she was very understanding about mom making sound effects in the background.  This is what's getting me through, thinking about  the future, so if I can save a few pounds, I'll have some money to do a few things, decorating the house and stuff.  

Right March 1st, I'm gonna have a shower and do my skincare routine that V put in place for me.  I'm thinking egg on toast for breakfast and something out of the freezer for lunch.

I'm having a very confusing conversation with mom right now so I'm going to have to go.  

Here's to March 1st, day one of chapter 3.  I plan to make it through one way or another, what's your plan!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx