Sunday 28th February 2021
A day without tea is like.... just kidding I have no idea!
I've had some sleep thankfully, broken but hey, I'll take sleep in any form it's being thrown at me. I think, well I hope a lot of people will appreciate so many things more when we come out ofthis pandemic, than they did before we went into it. Simple things like being able to hug a loved one, visit a friend, stand and chat in the supermarket with a stranger, so many things.
Even when we're out of lockdown, because of mom, I'll still have restrictions but I'm going to start looking into options for people to come sit with her for an hour here or there if she'll let them, her grand daughters maybe. Who know's at the moment she's declined so much since coming out of hospital, it's just a battle for me and Anne to make it through the day. Sundowning is horrid, she suddenly doesn't recognise me and wants to go home, Anne has to come round to calm her and confirm that I am actually Beverley and by the end of that conversation mom no longer hates me but hates Anne instead. I realised the nice has gone from her, we were having moments of it before, but she's all but gone. The only kindness I had from her in the last 24 hours was last night when she decided it was bed time she actually said to me, 'you go to bed, you need to sleep', that didn't last of course, as she's become a dab hand at her one man band routine with the biscuit tin lid and other objects that make a crazy noise in the middle of the night, oh and the singing of nursery rhymes from 1am onwards, interspersed with 'Where's the toilet?', 'How do I get out of here?' and other such sentences. She's in a living hell and it's just not fair on anyone including herself.
I enjoyed a zoom yesterday morning, you can't beat likeminded people coming together and supporting each other, that set me up for surviving the day. I've decided the theme for next month for me is 'Make it through March', I'm doing what I can to survive this shite because that's what this house is full of at the minute, phsyically and metorphorically.
I feel like a broken record, but lol that's what my life is like at the minute, groundhog day, although that's also what most people's lives are like isn't it to be fair. The highlight of my day will probably be watching the Voice!
I'm going to start my day with a healthy, delicious breakfast, I'm thinking eggs and spinach, then I'll walk Alfie and spend the rest of the day distracting myself with crochet, crap on the tele, I'll try and spend an hour in the kitchen if she falls asleep this morning, we shall see.
Meteorological spring starts tomorrow, my favourite time of the year, if I was able, I'd start cleaning up the garden, this year I'd even contemplate growing my own hanging basket flowers but pah, that ain't gonna happen is it! All these thoughts though, they're what my future is going to be all about, simple and enjoyable, that's how my days after dementia will be. I have no desire to travel loads, I'd like to go walk along the coastal path and enjoy the sea every now and again or walk up a big hill but otherwise, everything I need will be local to me. Oh it all emotionally feels like bliss just thinking about it.
I'd be even happier if my back pain would do one but that's stress related and trying to sleep in stupid positions, so it'll rectify itself over time also.
I did manage to help a new customer save money yesterday, that's at least a little bit of work I've managed to do this month. Gutted because I wanted to sign one more homeowner up for all our services to hit my monthly bonus so unless I get one today, that's not going to happne :( those bonuses are being saved for my future! Oh ma'an how long away is that future.
Stop it Bev, let's stay positive, make it through March and look to see what I can do each day to make it a little more tolerable.
Enjoy your Sunday, it's forecast another sunny day today which always lifts my mood, I'm hoping Alfie fancies a decent walk and mom's okay with me going for it, I'll listen to my audiobook whilst out and have a little escapism. Enjoy your day, your way xx
Mwah, luv ya
Luv me
No comments:
Post a Comment