I'll get there...

Monday 13th January 2020
Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.

Unsurprisingly I've gained weight this morning, 2.5lb on to be exact - ouch, that's like 1/2lb plus the 2lb I'd lost last week.  I'm afraid this week everything that's going on in my world completely got the better of me, I vow not to let it continue to though.  I know taking care of myself is really important, both my mental and physical health has to be a priority.  No more Greggs breakfasts, I was going to say no more Sod It syndrome but I know it's impossible for me to promise that, I can promise to stay out of Greggs though, that's not that difficult.

At least the food I've been eating has been good food, just too damn much of it!  I've bought these on members recommendations;

Alpro Simply Plain 2SP💚 0SP💙 0SP💜  

I'm going to have one of these a day, maybe at night when I get peckish and my lobster claws come out, I can have one of these and a banana to distract me! 

I tried this yesterday, M&S Count on us, chicken and vegetable chow mein, 5SP💚 3SP💙 3SP💜 it was okay, a bit bland for my liking but Kelly loves it and she adds extra mushrooms to hers, so it just shows we're all different aren't we, it's always best to try something and make your own mind up. 

Right I seriously need to get my plan together, not just keep winging it and hope the points add up because this week they didn't at all, I was over by 100 I bet and that was after using all my FitPoints which were about 80!  Yeah let's get a grip Bev, sort it out.

I've had time to process what's going on with Alfie, it's just another challenge, it's also made me change how I'm behaving with him, just like I have with mom, he's not being 'naughty' when he refuses to come home from his walk, or he gets stuck somewhere in the house or up the garden, his brains not working properly.  The quote, 'If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change', is so true, Monday - Thursday last week was real tough, the combination of mom and Alfie was tipping me over the edge, finding out from the vet Friday was gutting, Saturday I had a melt down and then yesterday I put my reality check head back on after processing it all and realised it ain't nothing I can't handle.  Talking it out helps too, that's one of the reasons WW workshops are so good because we all get to talk stuff through.  I do hope the medication helps my Alfie, it's his 10th birthday tomorrow, we didn't get him until April 17th, just this little bundle of energy who taking a pic of was almost impossible unless he was asleep because he moved so quickly.  If the drugs don't work, I won't let him suffer, I'll know when the time is right, until then, if it's possible, he's going to eat even better than he had before!

Anyway, I'm going to plan my meals for the day, I will do this and lose weight, I'm gonna have egg on toast for breakfast, a WW meal for dinner I think, at least I haven't woke up starving like I have done for the last few days, that's a good sign.

Here's to keeping everything in perspective, surviving the day and hopefully the week. Mwah,

luv ya

Love me x