Where did that year go?

Tuesday 22nd March 2022

The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.

 So it's a year today since my mom took her last breathe and what a year it's been.  Somehow I've gone from being a single woman with a dog to in a relationship with a man who makes me very happy and taking care of his 13 year old son who is a wonderful kid.  It's not at all the outcome I expected but it's definitely one I'm truly enjoying and mom would be over the moon, she loved him, she'd even wrote in her diary years ago that she'd wish we'd sort ourselves out and get together because we'd work ;) some say she sent him back to me once she knew I was healed. 

This time last year I was gaining weight and heading towards the heaviest weight I'd ever been, I've gained a pound today, not unexpected after having Covid last week (any excuse to eat), thankfully it felt nothing worse that a summer 24 hour thing.  I'm still 20lb lighter though and I'm ready to get a grip.  

After a busy morning in our huddles, I had the realisation I'm doing a food journal for the lad because he needs to hit 25g of fibre a day but I'm not tracking my own food - ERM seriously Bev, get a grip.  As I stood chatting to members I agreed tracking was the solution, in my head thinking - I'll start tomorrow because I've got that leftover lamb that needs using up and I've already had a big breakfast, blah blah blah.  Instead though I came home a worked out the calories I'd eaten for breakfast, 461 in 2 slices toast with spread, mushrooms and 2 eggs.  Then I weighed the lamb, trimmed the fat off it and made a curry with it, added some red pepper and served it with rice - bloody lush if a little high at 718 calories. 

Last lamb on my menu for a while, it was a super treat anyway, the cost of it is extortionate so we'll be eating chicken again and everything that's in the freezer for the rest of the week.  No weekly main shop this week, if I need bread, milk or anything fresh I'll go get that separately. 

There's a Sainsbury's pizza in the fridge which I'm hoping the lad will share with me for tea, if not I may freeze it, we'll see, it's 439 calories total so it would make today's total high but at least it would be tracked.

It's not about perfection, it's about being accountable and getting back into the habit of tracking again.

I'm ready for a summer enjoying life, walking in the countryside, going to the seaside, we've been over the park this afternoon and played tennis very badly for half hour, but we've played it which is a starter, it's activity.  We've got a swingball in the garden which is easier to play and much more fun so we'll keep going with that too.

I've still got mom and Alfie's ashes under the stairs so one of our trips needs to be to Wales to scatter those, hopefully soon. 

Here's to continuing to make new memories with new loved ones to add to the wonderful memories I already have in my heart that I made with my mom.

Mwah, luv ya 

love me xx