Where did that year go?

Tuesday 22nd March 2022

The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.

 So it's a year today since my mom took her last breathe and what a year it's been.  Somehow I've gone from being a single woman with a dog to in a relationship with a man who makes me very happy and taking care of his 13 year old son who is a wonderful kid.  It's not at all the outcome I expected but it's definitely one I'm truly enjoying and mom would be over the moon, she loved him, she'd even wrote in her diary years ago that she'd wish we'd sort ourselves out and get together because we'd work ;) some say she sent him back to me once she knew I was healed. 

This time last year I was gaining weight and heading towards the heaviest weight I'd ever been, I've gained a pound today, not unexpected after having Covid last week (any excuse to eat), thankfully it felt nothing worse that a summer 24 hour thing.  I'm still 20lb lighter though and I'm ready to get a grip.  

After a busy morning in our huddles, I had the realisation I'm doing a food journal for the lad because he needs to hit 25g of fibre a day but I'm not tracking my own food - ERM seriously Bev, get a grip.  As I stood chatting to members I agreed tracking was the solution, in my head thinking - I'll start tomorrow because I've got that leftover lamb that needs using up and I've already had a big breakfast, blah blah blah.  Instead though I came home a worked out the calories I'd eaten for breakfast, 461 in 2 slices toast with spread, mushrooms and 2 eggs.  Then I weighed the lamb, trimmed the fat off it and made a curry with it, added some red pepper and served it with rice - bloody lush if a little high at 718 calories. 

Last lamb on my menu for a while, it was a super treat anyway, the cost of it is extortionate so we'll be eating chicken again and everything that's in the freezer for the rest of the week.  No weekly main shop this week, if I need bread, milk or anything fresh I'll go get that separately. 

There's a Sainsbury's pizza in the fridge which I'm hoping the lad will share with me for tea, if not I may freeze it, we'll see, it's 439 calories total so it would make today's total high but at least it would be tracked.

It's not about perfection, it's about being accountable and getting back into the habit of tracking again.

I'm ready for a summer enjoying life, walking in the countryside, going to the seaside, we've been over the park this afternoon and played tennis very badly for half hour, but we've played it which is a starter, it's activity.  We've got a swingball in the garden which is easier to play and much more fun so we'll keep going with that too.

I've still got mom and Alfie's ashes under the stairs so one of our trips needs to be to Wales to scatter those, hopefully soon. 

Here's to continuing to make new memories with new loved ones to add to the wonderful memories I already have in my heart that I made with my mom.

Mwah, luv ya 

love me xx

  

Moving this Monday!

Monday 14th February 2022
If you feel overwhelmed today, be gentle with yourself.  Life can be a lot to handle!  

Well, being a menopausal woman can be challenging, not just for the woman but for those around them!  Saturday morning, he comes down and comments on me singing and where do I get my energy, Saturday teatime, he's asking me why I'm crying!  What makes it worse is, I don't even know!  I have no reason to be upset or sad, life is good right now, really good actually, don't get me wrong it ain't all sunshine and rainbows but there's no issues we can't handle together.  

Friday we'd drove to Hereford after he'd finished work so we got there after five, he followed me back and it was horrendous rain and getting darker by the minute, but we made it and we were back by half seven, both of us shattered after a week of very, early morning.  We both worked Saturday so I think I was just really tired.  I know it's coming up to a year since mom passed and I had stopped to have a chat with a friend when we went to buy bedding for the motorhome, she was telling me how she was caring for her mom who has cancer and working too and oh I felt for her so much because I've been there haven't I.  Whether that triggered my tears I don't know, I'm not sad moms dead, I know that might sound cruel but I can't miss the woman who sat in ths house this time last year, she wasn't my mom.  My mom may have stopped breathing on 22/3/21 but she died years before, so I did my grieving for my best friend a long time ago.  Anyway the tears are what they are, they'll come and go as they need to and I'll be okay.

Yesterday we ran a few errands, then they went to watch motocross in Aldridge whilst I enjoyed pottering and cooking a pork dinner, bloomin delicious it was too, loads of veggies on it, carrots, cauli, cabbage, peas, roast parsnips and mash nom nom, not forgetting stuffing.  I just need to get the man child to eat the veggies ;( He can get fibre from those Fibre one bars but it's not the best way of doing it is it!

Up at 4 this morning, so when Elle posted she'd been for a walk, I decided to do the same, my ribs are loads better and I need to get my fitness levels back up somewhat.  I was out 45 minutes and covered 2 miles, 5k steps.  Perfect start to the day, it's glorious out there. 

Drinking water has really made a difference this week too, we went to buy water bottles Wednesday and I can feel a difference for sure, the dark bags under my eyes aren't as bad, so I will definitely be keeping that up.  

I've just finished cleaning the kitchen, I couldn't be bothered to wash all the pots yesterday, we were shattered and ended up in bed by 7 knowing we were up at 4, we slept too. 

Off out for lunch today, will try not to go crazy as I do want to lose more weight, another stone at least, a stone and a half would be amazing to add to the 21lb that's already gone. 

The weeks forecast is much better, dry and sunny most of the week - we all need some sunshine for sure,

Here's to a fabulous week, enjoy your day. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

International Woman's Day

Tuesday 8th March 2022 

Here's to strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.

Up early this morning, I've already done a load of washing and got a stew on the hob which might be eaten today but as they always taste better the day after, we may wait to eat it.  Yesterday we had chicken hotpot, it was delicious, had broccoli with it and that too was tasty, love comfort food like that.

Yesterday went so quickly, I went food shopping, really enjoyed walking round the supermarket for a change with no rush in me, I usually have it delivered, not something I'd want to do every Monday but now and again definitely.

I then picked up 100 chocolate Easter eggs for the children at the Haven refuge to give them a little bit of happy this Easter in what's obviously a difficult time for them and their moms. 

I took Aryn over the park where I fell of the longboard and broke my ribs and head, he'd got his helmet on, but I have to admit I felt a bit cautious watching him.  We walked the path where I fell and he showed me the bin my board hit (I don't remember any of it), sent me cold I won't lie.  

Looking forward to a busy day with 3 huddles to look forward too, but first breakfast, I'm thinking a ham toastie maybe, we shall see, I'll go check the date on the eggs too but I want something filling to keep me going till I get back later.

Right let's have a productive day, lots of stuff to do, insurances to sort on motorhome and house, I've also had a letter about having my first breast screening so need to call them, I'm not sure if they'll want me to wait a little with my broken ribs which are still bloody hurting btw but compared to the poor folk on the news trying to get out of Ukraine my pain is nothing is it.  I've cried this morning watching it. 

Have a wonderful International Woman's Day, I'm blessed to know so many amazing ladies out there but I also have some amazing men in my life too, I've just checked they do get their own day in November thankfully. 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

One week into March already!

Monday 7th March 2022
Don't spend another year doing the same stuff.

Today I shall mostly be planning, the meetings for the week, our meals too (just in this house though not everyone's :) but that could be part of the meetings).  

We had a busy, exciting day yesterday, we've been looking at motorhomes/campers for weeks now and not been able to agree 100% on anything we've seen online or been and seen in person, then yesterday we were browsing on ebay etc and boom, there it was, I'd found my perfect match and he agreed :) woo hoo.  We messaged the seller to ask if we could go to see it yesterday and he was unsure as he had family coming and he'd got to drive somewhere to pick something up but he finally agreed as we said we wouldn't be long and YAY we drove to Hereford and bought ourselves a motorhome.  Well we've put the deposit down, just got to sort insurance, tax, bank transfer etc and we'll pick it up this weekend.  I'm a little excited at having lots to look forward too, you don't have to drive far to find somewhere beautiful to spend a night and have a lovely long walk.  Our new baby....

We ate at a Beefeater, a roast beef dinner, not the best meal I've eaten out but it was food and not too much so wouldn't have broke the calorie bank.  For tea we enjoyed a picky plate, cold meats, french bread and a honey camembert thing that was leftover from a valentines meal deal, nom nom.  

I'm thinking pasta bake today, man child wants one with a white sauce, I was going to make a tuna bake which I know is normally a tomato based sauce but hey there are no rules, we can mix tuna with a carbonara sauce if we want, I shall have a play, throw some sweetcorn in for the fibre and boom sorted. 

Just the rest of the week to decide on meals, I fancy corned beef hash at one point, need to get the ingredients though first and I'd like to use up some of what I already have, will go and do a freezer/cupboard inventory to see what I have already.  Could I hide veggie fingers in some kind of pie so the man child don't notice them, I need to get creative. 

Right let's get on with the day, work at making the week healthier and hopefully lose a little weight.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Yay, it's Friday!

Friday 4th March 2022

It's a slow process but quitting won't speed it up.

Well it's been almost a month since I last blogged and as expected it was on a Monday because on a Monday I'm always ready to have a good 'diet' day.  It'll be 5 weeks Monday coming since I broke my ribs and smashed my head open, everything is healing slowly, I'm now able to sleep lying down which is amazing, I can't lie on my side where the ribs are broken which is the side I'd normally lie on and I don't know if I'm not snoring as much or he just ain't moaning about it because he knows I gotta lie on my back to sleep :).

Yesterday was 6 months since he knocked my door and that time has flown and I'm a very, happy lady, we've always been friends, the time was just never right before, and the last 10 years with mom well I didn't have time for anything did I.  

It's a year on the 22nd since mom died, again where has that year gone and now to make it an even more difficult month for my amazing sister, her husband is in hospital, we would like a break right now to be honest and I think there's so many others out there who are feeling the same. 

Why haven't I been blogging daily?  Honestly, well partly because a lot of the things going on in my life now don't just involve me and I don't think it's right for me to choose to share other peoples business, it's not like when it was just mom and I and we were happy to share our lives 100%.  I now have a teenager living with me who won't even have photos taken lol.  What I can say about that though is we're a very, happy unit dealing with anything that comes our way in the best way we can. 

The other reason I probably haven't blogged is because my weight loss journey ain't been great.  I haven't been able to do much physically with my ribs, so there was a lot of sitting round, I couldn't even lift stuff, I haven't hoovered yet cos I can't pick it up (that's my excuse and I'm sticking too it, thankfully there are other people here to do that for me).  This all means I've not been burning so many calories, add to that I've been comfort and boredom eating well that caused a 3lb weight gain, then a stayed the same, finally this week I lost a pound.  Not the end of the world thankfully, my total weight loss is still 21lb so I'm happy with that.

Last nights huddle gave me some great meal ideas so I've got my foodie head back on, the boys are gonna have to eat what I fancy or feed themselves because I like what I like and I need some of these meals in my life.  Corned beef hash, stuffed mushrooms were just two of them, then I have these in the cupboard and they're only 75 calories each, so I'm gonna get my cook on with them too; 

Today though, we have steak pie because he thought it was a good idea to bring one back from the posh butchers where he was working away - dead healthy that, but I'll give the boys most of the pastry, I'll have lots of veg and some mash with mine, it'll be lush I'm sure. 

The pasta dish I had yesterday was delicious too, I'm not usually a fan of tomato based meals but his was really tasty, 131 calories in half a jar.  

 The pasta I used was ZENB UK | Plant-Fuelled Goodness - Taste What Plants Can Do it's not cheap but it's super high in fibre which is important in this house, 11g in a 85g portion, plus it's gluten free and actually tastes like regular pasta.  I bought 3 boxes to try it, got 40% off, didn't want to pay P&P so when I realised I had to I didn't buy it but they emailed me the next day to say I could have free p&p.  I'll definitely order more, there's 4 portions in a box and I can do the 40% again and send to my sisters so I'll stock up!

 

Yeah it was so good I ate it two days running. 

• High in Protein
• High in Fibre
• Source of Iron
• High in Potassium
• High in Phosphorous
• Gluten Free

Anyway, enough pasta talk.  I'm off to see the nurse this morning, she's gonna take bloods that'll tell me if I'm menopausal, I didn't think it'd work as I'm on the mini pill and assumed that would interfere with what my hormones are doing anyway - who knows!  

I do know my peri-menopausal symptoms have been better since I went on the mini pill but I'm not sure if it's because of that or just that my life has improved all round, life was hard this time last year, really bloody hard.

Let's not focus on what's gone though, let's look to the future, losing some more weight, getting my healthy back, I can't wait to start walking without it killing me, build back up slow and steady.

Here's to a wonderful weekend and making March matter.

Have a great one. 

Luv ya, 

Love me xx