Invest in yourself!
Well it's been a funny old week but I've woke up today feeling 100% me again. Mom has been in my thoughts a lot and I've been quite emotional but I've also realised it's not just 'grief', I would get emotional regularly anyway it's called 'being hormonal' but also more so than that, it's called 'BEING BEVERLEY!'. It's who I am, my moods change, they have since I was young, I'd be tootalling along quite nicely, loving everything about my life and enjoying being a lazy bitch, chilling, doing not much, then BAM, I wake up one morning feeling I'm missing something and want a change, usually short term and that's all that's happened here. I woke up and wanted a day out, then I enjoyed my few hours and realised I wanted to see the sea. Not everything is about mom dying, it's important for me to remember that, although sometimes it is about her not being here anymore and that's 100% okay too, I bumped into my sister whilst out with Alfie yesterday morning and we were both on the verge of tears - I mean how could you not miss a woman as absolutely incredible as my mom was! She was a legend. Although some things I don't miss, just looking through my memories on Facebook and 2 years ago today I returned home to my heating turned up to 35 degrees as high as it would go! I do however miss her singing in my car (1) Facebook and her enthusiasm for everything from rocks she found as she was walking the dog to shells she found on the beach when we were in Wales, she'd be out there for hours in the freezing weather over the Christmas holidays.
Back to the present, I've woke up feeling the need to do a bit of housework, hopefully that feeling will stay long enough for me to actually follow it through lol, I could write my name in the dust on my bedroom windowsill. The weather looks like it's gonna be rubbish all weekend, so I'm gonna definitely find some wool out and get my crochet going again and enjoy some tele. I watched the first episode of The Equalizer with Queen Latif yesterday, I liked that a lot.
As for our huddles, they're doing great, we had more new members yesterday, lovely to see some faces I haven't seen in a long time, lots of people on holiday at the moment too, but great seeing them returning and getting right back on it. Elle and I weren't sure we'd be able to make a living doing this but so far it's looking very, very promising and we enjoy every minute of it, so relaxed, so much fun and seeing so much success just makes it the best job, especially as we have each other to rely on. Having a holiday over the last 16 years was a nightmare now we can go whenever works for us as long as it's not at the same time. I'm still working on that, everyone's holidaying in this country so it's not easy finding somewhere, it's certainly not cheap and what I want is specific because of Alfie so I'll continue to search.
This weekend is all about self care for me, not expecting anything from myself and taking it as it comes, feeling any emotions that present themselves and not pretending they don't exist. What you up to this weekend?
Mwah, luv ya
Love me
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