Saturday, 12 June 2021

Early morning, ready for our huddle

Saturday 12th June 2021 
Good vibes only, do you, be you, for you

.

4am wake up this morning, feel fresh as a daisy though on 6 hours and once works done this morning, I'm free to chill out and do things at my leisure so it's all good.

My sister nipped round yesterday and we ended up ordering KFC, then I remembered I was trying to lose weight this week lol, but once I checked the calories, it was all good.  732 calories for 3 pieces, with a bit of salad and I was sated, I'd had a 15% discount with free delivery from JustEat and they had a £15 double bucket matchday offer, so 10 pieces of chicken and 10 hot wings, no sides or chips - perfect.  I really don't like their chips so I was okay with that and I don't like the hot wings so Anne took them too. 


 


This was all I ate yesterday, I had another piece cold later on but no more food, I wasn't hungry, I did enjoy some wine and a bit of tv, but I'm not going to eat 3 meals a day if I'm not needing it, some days I wake up famished, others not hungry at all, so I shall listen to my body. 

I was tagged in a post yesterday about weight loss groups and one lady was recommending me the other wasn't impressed with me at all :), I didn't comment, what other people think of me is none of my business.  It wouldn't do us all to be the same, now me, when I don't like someone, which to be honest I can't think of anyone I don't like, there are people I prefer to be around but I haven't got the energy for bad feelings, but if I take issue with someone, I always question why, I ask myself what did they do and did I have anything to do with their behaviour, or could something have been going on in their world to make them behave in such a way.  I don't assume everything is about me or they are just horrible people.  Who would we be without our stories ay, those tales we make up in our heads that we don't really know are truth.  You know the sort of thing, someone ignores you in the street or someone doesn't comment on your Facebook post and you think 'what have I done to them', so you start making up all these reasons in your head, when the truth of the matter could be they didn't see you because they were rushing or the were so preoccupied with the crap that's going on in their world they were away with the fairies.  Maybe they didn't see your post on Facebook or they were just scrolling past and not really paying attention, or again just overwhelmed by life.  We really shouldn't take everything so personally. 

Yeah life is so much easier and more enjoyable when you don't hold grudges, resent people or stew over things.  Let that stuff go! 

I know over the last year or two, I have been downright rude at times with people, particularly when walking the dog and they asked after mom, "How's your mom?", me "SHIT" and I'd carry on walking.  Why, because I was exhausted and going a little crazy, does that make me a bad person?  No, it makes me someone who was trying to survive a situation.  I withdrew from life a lot, let's not forget the start of lockdown, I spent a good 3 months locked up with my mom and no one came to the house as I was scared for mom, not even my sister set foot in the place.  

I honestly think I ended up with some kind of PTSD after that, I'd forgot how to socialise, how to communicate with people, how to interact in society and I wasn't the only one.  When I did have to leave the house, if anyone got close to me I was snappy with them because I was terrified that my mom would catch covid from me being out, I remember when a member told me she had covid and she'd been to get weighed, I full on went over the top with my reaction, but at the time, I didn't feel I was overreacting, hindsight is a powerful thing. 

Ah, I've just seen 2 foxes just strolling down the street from my living room window, see they don't have none of this thinking malarkey, they just sleep all day, wake at night and go looking for food!  They don't go round unfriending each other on Facebook lol, I never do that btw, but occasionally, I've realised others have done it to me and it makes me smile because it's so much easier than actually talking to the person if you have an issue isn't it.  Can you imagine pre Facebook, if you'd seen someone in the street and said, "oh don't talk to me, I've unfriended you!"  Again, it all takes too much energy, my Facebook profile is 100% public anyway, there's no such thing as private on social media, hence I don't unfriend folk. 

Well, I'm ready for my day, I'm looking forward to our Be Happy Owls Huddle this morning, I've got a bit of cold KFC left which I'm going to make a bap of later for lunch, I'm peckish this morning so might have egg on toast, we'll see.

Have a wonderful weekend, be nice, be kind, be happy 

Mwah, luv ya 


Love me xx

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