The best view comes after the hardest climb.
I'm nobody special! Actually that's not true, I am - we're all special so that first statement wasn't really true, but I meant in the way I'm caring for my mom, I've had lots of lovely comments telling me what a great job I'm doing. What's ridiculous is the charity Carers UK estimates there were up to 9.1 million unpaid carers across the UK before the Covid-19 pandemic, providing everything from a few hours a week to intensive and complex round-the-clock support. What's even more ridiculous is the pandemic has led to 4.5 million people doing some care work, 2.8 million of whom are juggling these new responsibilities with waged work. The only difference with me is I'm just sharing my experience with anyone who wants to listen, partly because I believe Alzeimers and Vascular Dementia is completely misunderstood, but also because it's my life right now and I've always talked about my life, that old open book habit I have. I've not always shared the stuff about mom as I didn't want to talk about her as such, but this version now isn't my mom and I think it'll do us all good to realise we could end up the same, so we need to take care of ourselves the best we can and live life to the full whilst we can.
Wait for it, I have something really important and so very, very exciting to tell you. You may want to sit down if you aren't already. Mom is asleep, she's been asleep since around 8 or 9 last night! I think partly, she's bloody worn out but the main reason is because I slept in the living room with her, when I'm in the same room as her, she feels safe and allows herself to relax. She's looks bloody uncomfortable though, but one step at a time ay. My backs in bits but hey I've had sleep, that's a victory in my eyes.
I'm lucky because the last few weeks have been tough but I haven't HAD to do other things, I'm able to sit round in the day time doing nothing, admittedly it's not the most fun life but hey I don't think anyones having that at the minute thanks to the pandemic.
She's not gonna get any better is she, it is going to get tougher for me and Anne and we're under no illusion so we'll be putting no pressure on ourselves to be doing amazing or extraordinary things in other parts of our lives, we're just gonna survive and keep each other going.
She's stirring now, she's really not a well woman at all, it's bloody tragic to watch her wasting away but I guess this is the cycle of life, we're born, we live, we die, this dying bit sucks though when you have to watch it happening and you're not able to do anything to ease it.
In other areas of my life, I made a beef stew yesterday which will keep me going a few days. I also enjoyed a couple of jam doughnuts that my sister treated me too and a bowl of white chocolate rice crispies - they're lush and I blame Emma for them as she posted a bowl on Facebook.
I had a lovely walk over the park with Alfie, he mostly just wanted to watch the world go by but it was good to have a bit of fresh air.
I was also reminded not to mix the grape with the grain, I had a couple of bottles of ale then a glass of wine and my heads hurting this morning!
I've binge watched 'Brush Strokes' over the last few days, there were 3 series on catch up then I found the other 3 online, really enjoyed it, I remember it the first time round in the 80s easy to watch sitcom.
Also doing a cream baby blanket at the minute, although I've just found another project I want to do so it might be put to one side whilst I start the next one, that'll mean I have 3 things on the go then! I need to make sure I finish them all though.
Will I ever get her in this hospital bed? If I do, I think I'll need to get me a fold up bed to sleep down her with her, I miss my lovely double bed so much! Even if I don't I need something on the top of that bed to make it comfortable enough to sleep in.
Anyway, I can't be thinking about that this morning, my head hurts and I've got an appointment at half ten. My target is to sign up at least 4 customers a month, this will help me save for my future. We're living on a very low budget right now, the only outgoings are bills and food, so anything I make after that I'm saving so I can do the house up at some point and enjoy some niceties.
Right let's all have a very, good day!
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
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