Sleeping is amazing, you forget everything for a little while.
Where to start! Another difficult night following a mixed day! It started okay to be fair, then at 9.45am a car pulled up outside and it was a lady who'd come to help mom 'wash and get dressed', I knew this was something that was going to be put into place but wasn't expecting her yesterday. I knew mom was unlikely to let her anywhere near her to be honest! She seemed a very lovely lady, but I wasn't impressed that as she walked in the house she said, is your mom Sheila (erm no! have you read the paperwork), then has moms telling her she's not got a chance of doing anything to her, she looked at me and said, 'well she doesn't have dementia does she so....', (erm yeah, that's why you're here). It's not 15 minutes each morning to help mom wash and dress I need 5 hours after we've actually got up anyway, I have no issues with washing my mom, that's not what's causing me issues. Mom's refused to have them come in so that's one thing that won't be happening, she still has capacity to decline and to be fair, even if she didn't - you're not going to be able to wash someone who's unwilling to let you! No what I need is sleep, so let's hope the dementia doctor can either prescribe something to help or that the suggestion of a respite night sitter once or twice a week comes off. However after the few hours I had with her last night, I don't know how that will pan out either, but I'm damn willing to try it out. Mom spent some time after she'd gone kicking off about it, I tried to broach the subject of someone sitting with her at night but her brains broken, in the daytime she's a different person to at night and she doesn't believe she behaves in the way she does at night, so these conversations are almost impossible!
Anne mesaged me to say she would come round so I could go and have me a good walk with Alfie again and baring in mind only 15 minutes earlier she was saying, 'I don't need someone sitting with me, keeping me awake at night, if you don't want to stay here, Anne will' mom's reaction when Anne arrived was more, 'don't leave me with her!' two personalities in the space of 20 minutes! I did leave her with my sister and me and Alfie drove just over a mile up the road and had a walk round the farmers field, Alfie loves that I'm happy to let him walk as slow as he wants and sniff anything he desires because I get to enjoy the views and take some photos, it's not the same as when he walks round the estate standing and staring and there's only lamp posts for me to look at! It was a wonderful hour and makes it easier when I go back.
The rest of the day was pretty calm to be honest, she didn't want to go to sleep early which didn't surprise me as we'd had a goodish night the night before, but then about half nine - BANG! She wanted to go home, she wanted me to call Bev, when I said I was Bev she was having none of it, she wanted me to call one of her other kids, then at one point she wanted me to call 999! She was leaving and I tried all the suggestions that come from people who make them with care and love but the thing with dementia is you've got to take into account the 'PERSON' behind the disease, the personality of that person before the dementia started to destroy them. Yes there are commonalities between sufferers of this disease but there are also differences which have to be taken into consideration. I can even show her photos of us together and she doesn't see me as that person on the photo, in the end once she'd started to calm because it wouldn't matter what you said when she was in that state it wouldn't land, she asked me to tell her things about myself, basically to prove I was me! That's what I did, I went through a few things that connected us in the hope she would believe me and she said, 'so what happens now', If asked to prove who you were without documents to someone you loved if they didn't recognise you- how would you do it? I suggested we both try and get some sleep and then decide later. Thankfully it worked and we managed to get some sleep from about 11 till 2 when she woke me up for the toilet and sat there telling me that I sleep a lot! We had broken sleep for the next few hours as she attempted the toilet a few times with nothing happening, I was actually starting to get concerned but thankfully at 7 this morning there was a wee and a poo - WOO HOOOOOOOO!
Oh how jealous are you of my life right now? I do feel loads better than I did on Monday still, at least I've had some sleep and that's important to me, I ate healthier yesterday too, I have no intention of 'dieting' but healthy eating is important to me. Happy and Healthy has always been my goal as a Happy Owl, it's why I started it all those years ago.
I really enjoyed this meal;
Apparently we're in for some nasty weather, today is going to be washout Wednesday! Glad I got to do that bit of walking, we'll still have his daily walk, rain or not he needs to do his thing.
I have stuff to do work wise, not just UW another project in the pipeline with my partners in crime ;) I lost myself for a few weeks there but I'm back, not 100% but I will be. I need reminding and to remember who I am and what I'm capable of, at the same time what I want to be. Not just now but in my future, ah the future, it can't come soon enough!
Right I'm off, washing up needs doing meh, hope you have a great day xx
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
No comments:
Post a Comment