Would you fast forward a year if you could?

Tuesday 9th February 2021

A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

My stats as of today

I started at - 200lb
I wanna weigh - 165lb
I plan to lose - 35lb / 17.5% of my body weight.
The scales 24/1/21 - 189lb
I've already lost - 11lb 
Yesterday I stepped 6577 times 
I covered 2.8 miles 
I burned  2073 calories  

I consumed calories - yep I really did!
I was active for 40 minutes 
I slept 5 hours 22 mins
 

#walk1000miles challenge - Total YTD =  left to walk =

My 3 good things;

1) Getting moms vaccination call.

2) Zoom chats.

3) A bowl of trifle! 

 

🦉

 

Times are tough aint they, I'm not gonna lie I had to fight back tears a few times yesterday, this morning already too.  I've been awake since 3.16, I'm shattered, but mostly I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted this week, moms really not good again and is refusing to go to bed at night.  I could buy a single bed and put it where our settee is but I don't know if she'd even get in it, she's so bloody confused when she wakes up, I can see her having an accident if she falls out the bed or gets off and tumbles, arrrggggghhhhhhh!

Well as my quote above says a negative mind won't get you a positive life so I need to get my groove back on, her behaviour isn't helping me work from home either but I need to do something or Ill go insane and I like helping people save money, especially right now!  

On a positive, she's getting her covid jab today so that's good news, they're coming to the house, so there's a step in the right direction.  

I need to focus on the future cos the now sucks somewhat, no one deserves to live how mom is at the moment, if she was a dog, they'd put her to sleep and that's the truth and she'd welcome it too.  She's scared constantly, confused permanently and the only thing that used to entertain her was the tv and now she just stares at it because she has no idea what's going on.  she had piles of crossword books and I don't think she actually puts any correct answers in anymore - it's just wrong on so many levels. 

I don't know if it makes me feel better knowing even if it wasn't for mom, I wouldn't be able to do much of anything anyway!  We're all in the same boat really aren't we? I would be able to get up and go cook a meal or do the washing up without her stressing about where I am though, I would be able to talk to someone on handsfree without her thinking there's people in the house, I would be able to walk the dog without worrying about getting back.  Oh ma'an I am having a pity party here this morning ain't I!  Oh and the top it off the lead on my laptop isn't charging it properly - happy days!

I need a bit of positivity in my life, I need to sort myself out. 

Right what's good in my life right now!

I have a job!  It's self employed which is a little scary but it's a job and that's more than I thought I'd have when I knew I'd have to stop being a Weight Watchers coach to take care of mom, so that's a positive.  I see a future for me when mom passes. 

I have so many amazing people in my life, plus thanks to the phone and zoom I get to see and speak to them which helps me stay sane more than you can imagine.

I have a freezer full of food and my bills are paid (they're also a lot cheaper than this time last year - couldn't miss the change to promote UW - unapologetically proud and advertising).

I'm getting a quiet hour because she's fell back to sleep. 

I have a body that works well, it may be a little on the larger side than it has been but hey, I'm not moving like I was when I was going out to work, I can't get out to move as much as I'd like, so I'm okay with it's size right now. 

I've just enjoyed a lovely cuppa tea, what more do you want a this time of the morning?  I'm actually contemplating pizza for breakfast because really I've been up 3 hours so it's heading towards lunchtime 😝

I'm going to go make myself another cuppa, I've just been to lift Alfie off the bed cos he can't jump off anymore, old man he is, he's settled down on his cushion.  I've got a couple of zooms this morning, so here's to making it through another day of lockdown!

Would you fast forward a year if you could?

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx