Sunday 13th September 2020
Your feelings are valid, remember that always.
Yesterday was a mixed bag, great morning, got to catch up with some members, had a natter with a few too, thankfully we'll be able to carry on with the new 6 law, it was a good morning.
I made a quick catch up video for YouTube, at least I get to do a bit of a chat for my members. I need to practice that resting screen face, I always look a bit confused and stupid lol.
Speaking of confused, that's how the rest of the day was, mom had a very, difficult afternoon, she seemed to go back to being the 16 year old tortured soul who ended up attempting to take her life and being put in an institution. She was talking to me as if she'd not long been let out and she was extremely upset and agitated. It's such a difficult thing to experience not just for the person with dementia but also for me watching and trying to work out what to do for the best, telling her that was over 60 years ago is pointless as that makes the situation worse, so I just tell her she's safe now and isn't going back there. I eventually calmed her down, after assuring her this was her house, she didn't need to go home, Bev wasn't at work and we didn't have to stay up for her. Can you imagine being in that head! I can't and to be honest, I don't want to! I woke up this morning to the sound that a telephone makes when it's off the hook, when I came down mom's sat with the handset in her hand about to call my sister. She'd woken up and thought she was in the house on her own and was scared. Yep this once brave lady who was our strength is now a scared old lady and it sucks! But she's safe because my sister and I will take care of her x
At the minute I'm sitting in a room with a sleeping mom and dog, the bloody heating is on because she was cold, so it's going to be one of those days.
I haven't done my yoga yet, but I will, I didn't want to leave her till she was calm, even if it was just to go upstairs, we had a cuddle on the settee instead.
2020 and this pandemic has changed the way of think about everything, but particularly my mom's disease and what's important in my life.
We all have good days and bad days, remember it's okay not to be okay, but don't suffer in silence, talk about what's going on in your head.
I've not got much else to say today, it's my day of rest and that includes my brain ;) go watch my video instead.
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
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