It always seems impossible until it's done.
Yesterday started so good, I got up, did me a bit of yoga, walked Alfie, really, really enjoyed the virtual workshop & catching up with members, getting used to them now and relaxing more into it. I I even did the WW dance workshop which was so much fun, although I have no co-ordination, I can't concentrate on moving legs and arms at the same time! Yeah I came down from the workshop and mom was in a great mood, I said do you want anything, she said she was sound and enjoying her tele, I mentioned doing the dance thing in the kitchen and she was yeah, not probs, I alright here. Fast forward half hour and she's kicking off, screaming how she's been left on her own all day! I couldn't believe how my world once again could change like the flick of a switch. It would've been so easy to let her outburst mess up the rest of my day but in that moment, I decided I wasn't going to, instead I cried it out as I chopped onions, potatoes and carrots and put a chicken hotpot in the oven! Eventually she calmed down and came round and the rest of the day wasn't too bad. Although her confusion has been really bad the last few days, but I can handle that, it's the look on her face when she turns, it's horrid. But I'm going to continue doing my best to focus on the good things. I did mention a sunshine list on the virtual workshop yesterday and I started doing a new one yesterday, what would be on your sunshine list (for those who don't know what I'm talking about, it's a list of things that make you smile, make you happy and you keep adding too over time, so mine always starts with Herons, I adore them and if I see one it makes my day. Another thing that goes on the list are these, aren't they just beautiful.
It doesn't have to only be 'things' it can be something someone does, or anything that you're grateful and thankful for. My mom wanting to write my sister a note because she missed her made me happy yesterday, she misses her and it was a lovely moment of lucidity. Hearing her suggest to me I sell something on eBay made my day too, the fact she even knows what eBay is and it's purpose just blew my mind when two hours earlier, she'd asked me who I was!
Foodwise, I really enjoyed this yesterday for 5SP, it's a focaccia bun soaked in egg and dry fried, with mushrooms. Eggy bread is a great way of using up any kind of bread that's getting a bit stale.
This was the hotpot, I was tasty and very much enjoyed , that's another thing that can go on my sunshine list, thinly sliced potatoes cooked like this, they are soooooo good.
I'm cooking a chicken dinner today, I wouldn't normally eat chicken two days in a row but because of the use by dates, I've got to and to be honest I really fancy one anyway so it's all good.
I was having a flick through a WW journal I found when I tidied my office and after my virtual coach mentioned the time I'd posted two photos of me in my pants (I can't find the pics now) which showed the difference losing half a stone made, she said "I want to see another pants pic" and I said, not a chance in hell! But I've just found this page in that WW Journal
And it shows I did half stone in 4 weeks! So it can be done, and this was from last May, it was before mom went really bad and started having anxiety about being left alone, I was able to get to my workshop on a Wednesday morning for the month and it was really helping, so I'm going be a member again, go on virtual workshops, more than once a week if I need to, to keep me motivated. I'd love to lose half a stone by the end of May, that's giving me 6 weeks to do it! I will weigh myself tomorrow morning and hope that I haven't done too much damage! I was 13st when all this started, I think I'm probably 3 or 4lb heavier now, but whatever it says I'm going to do my best to not gain any more and hopefully lose 7lb by end of May!
I had to laugh at 2am this morning, if you read my blog yesterday you know I said I was going to set my alarm so that I could get up before mom wakes and do a bit of activity, yoga is my choice of movement for now. Well mom got up and dressed at 2am this morning so my alarm was for 3 hours later so that was an epic fail lol. Thankfully I managed to get her to go back to bed, got a couple more hours sleep and I've done my 20 minutes yoga and hope to have a bit of a dance round the kitchen whilst cooking and praying moms okay lol. Wish me luck!
I will restart as many times as I need too, I will not give up no matter how difficult this becomes, I'm focusing on the positives, if I do have my own meltdowns or wobbles I will be gentle on myself and keep going.
Here's to making it a great day.
Mwah, luv ya
Love me x
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