Wednesday, 15 April 2020

Butterflies are just moths in drag!

Wednesday 15th April 2020
Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.


My Virtual Workshop was lovely yesterday morning with lots of my Tuesday crew in there all catching up, and my support coach said she'd decided to use this time to focus on herself and come out of lockdown like a butterfly and I love that idea.  I thought about it, it stuck in my mind all day, yes we could use this time to work on ourselves and come out of lockdown a healthier version, or we could choose to do what we can, when we can and go easy on ourselves when we're not on track.  There's always the give up completely option - I don't like that idea at all!

The thing is you don't just wake up and become the butterfly, change and growth is a process.   In the words of Maya Angelou 'we delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.'


How we cope in these strange times is our choice and there is no wrong option, we're allowed to feel our feelings and behave how we need to, to get through.   My thoughts towards it area changing by the hour some days, one minute I'm all, 'okay, this is a great opportunity for me to cook and take care of me', the next it's 'what's the point!', thankfully the two thought patterns and everything in-between seems to be balancing out my weight, but I don't want to gain more weight, I want to try to lose some.

Thankfully I managed to get an online delivery yesterday, I must have bene in a 'I want to stay on track' mood when I ordered as its full of fresh vegetables and salad and healthy stuff, I thoroughly enjoyed a salad last night with a Sainsbury's onion and cheese focaccia (5SP) and 2tbsp taramasalata (9SP), it was so good.

Here's to eating healthier, not perfectly, the pressure of trying to do it 'properly' and seeing I'm not staying within my points is making me think 'why bother' which then makes me not want to track.  My plan therefore is to eat as healthy as I can, to find ways to try and keep me a bit active, take advantage of moms good moods when they arrive, enjoying Alfie's walk when he's in the mood to actually walk and when he doesn't accept that's okay too, if keeping mom content means I sit next to her and don't get stuff done, then so be it.

Too many people out there are losing loved ones, I refuse to put any unnecessary pressure on myself or my members, we shall do what we can, try our best and not beat ourselves up.  

Let's focus on what we can do, come on let's think about it for a moment and only focus on the day ahead.  So I know I can drink some more water, I'm actually doing that now.

I can have a low pointed breakfast, I have my new frying pan (YAY my WW delivery arrived, I have snacks and my new cookbook and my frying pan) so eggs are on the menu this morning, with mushrooms and tomatoes and possibly another focaccia no I'll have 2 slices of bread for 3SP, save my  points for later when I'm likely to falter.

I'm on a virtual workshop at 5.30 (Wolverhampton group) so will be working later than I have been which will keep me out of the kitchen.  I can have an early night to reduce the time spent being tempted by wine sitting watching tele.  I can have a can of pop before having a glass of wine, that'll reduce the actual wine I drink too.  See these are practical things I can do, not just a 'I'll track' goal, I can track and still go over my points because I had no plan.

I'm going to go and plan my dinner as soon as I post this blog, then I know the points I'm having to eat today.  I will sort my fridge into date order of the food that's arrived so I know what to eat on which days, I can track those meals too.

Don't let what you can't do, stop you from doing what you can do.   Let's focus on what we can control and when we wobble, let's refocus as soon as we can and give ourselves a bit of a break, ask someone for a cuddle if you're lucky enough to be in a house with others, because so many aren't, a lot of people live alone, that's got to be so difficult right now.

OKAY, here's to making the best of our day, I hope to see some of you on my virtual workshop tonight, oh and I've never wanted to be a butterfly, they actually freak me out because to me, they're just moths in drag and I've had a moth phobia for years, I'm much better now but the sight of one at night actually makes me shudder!  That's progress, they used to make me scream and run, see we are all capable of change ;)

Mwah, luv ya


Love me x

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