Emotional ain't I

Thursday 26th December 2019
We take photos as a return trip to a moment otherwise gone

Well we survived the day!  I honestly didn't think it was going to go well at first, mom didn't wake in the best mood, poor love just feels poorly all the time, so it's not surprising, but thankfully she went back to sleep and woke up feeling a bit better.  We had half hour sitting on her bed I gave her the gift that my sis had left her, the only one she hadn't already opened!  She loved it, it was a purple glasses case from WW, she already has two that she keeps her glasses in but the strap broke of one of them.  Bless her, when I said you can throw the broken one away now and went to pick it up, she snatched it back and said, "NO! I'll find a use for it!"  I knew before I said it, that was the response I'd get but I couldn't resist.  She chatted with me and we had what could've been mistaken for a dementia free moment.

I know as a person, I can be a bit cold, and one of the things I've never really got is when people get over emotional on certain days about love ones that have died, like on their birthday, or the anniversary of their death or at Christmas, probably because I've never got that way myself, I barely remember my dads birthday let alone the day he died.  However, now I get it, I have been really emotional at times over the last few days, Facebook has a lot to answer for!  Memories, that's what causes it and I know I still have mom, but I don't really, this woman in my house still has my heart but she isn't the mom I went on holiday with each Christmas and had so much fun with, the crazy bitch who would play on the beach for hours on end on a freezing cold winters day!

I used to book cottages where I could see the beach so I didn't have to stay with the crazy cow! 

I've always been a huge fan of photos they really are my memory, I struggle to remember things but if I see a photo I've taken, I can remember everything about that moment in time, the two below were from the best Christmas I ever had and I've had some brilliant Christmases I really have but this one, well it was THE ONE that I truly appreciated family, friends, love and the true spirit of Christmas and the joy of watching kids open their pressies, just so much fun.  We lost the turkey, listened to the same song over and over again as Jen learned a 'new' dance, did a family crossword together, watched Jen have a meltdown when she couldn't do something, listened to Will tell us how bored he was oh and Alfie got put in the naughty corner a few times!  It was the holiday he learned what his todger was for other than weeing!  And the year mom and I were stuck in a bedroom watching him as it was Christmas morning and we weren't allowed to get up until the kids woke.

Yeah I now know why people get more emotional at certain times of the year, my tears haven't been sad tears really though, they've been tears as I remember the good times.    These are my two favourite Christmas photos,

This was the Christmas I couldn't work the blinds, so funny and I still can't work blinds!  

We can't pout either 😂

And this was just the best, it ended up being a free holiday but that's another story, it was the Christmas we spent the morning exploring and the afternoons drinking Sangria.  Now that is my mom as I want to remember her, always laughing 💕

I've noticed I don't take so many 'memory' photos these days, I need to rectify that, I mean yesterday we just got a photo of Alfie and our dinner, mom wanted egg and chips so that's what we had, those chips are cooked in beef dripping, oh my days were they good, of course with it being Christmas you have to have sprouts and I do love a bit of braised red cabbage.  So much so that for my tea I had cheese cobs with the rest of the red cabbage on.

He's still gorgeous ain't he, even if he is a little devil.

There were no memorable moments worth storing yesterday but I'm thankful that she didn't go full on Sundowning crazy as she can, she took a dip but nothing I couldn't cope with, I'm used to it now.  

Actually the one thing that did make my day was my brother popping in first thing and having a quick natter to my bestie on the phone.   I have to say my mom did a damn good job on her kids, as she said yesterday when he'd gone, all her kids have done her proud, they're all good, kind, thoughtful, hardworking individuals.  And we are, all 5 of use, my brother got his wife such a thoughtful gift and instead of just giving it to her, it was given in clues, how lovely is that!  And thanks to Facebook, I got to see her reaction, see social media is a wonderful thing if used probably.

Anyway, I'm going to go have a soak in the bath to see if it will help my pain in my back that's running down my spine, then I shall give Alfie a good long walk - well a long time, not distance!  Boxing Day is the day I could my Christmas roast dinner, mom gets to pick on Christmas Day and I get Boxing Day, I've got chicken, roasters, parsnips, sprouts, carrots, I think I'll do roast onions too, maybe stuffing oh and mash potato nom nom nom, I'll make more than one and I think I'm going to have to freeze some of the stuff in the fridge, after all I only have one mouth and 4 days before it's all out of date - DOH! 

I hope you've taken lots of photos as reminders but to be honest if it's a good one, you only need one photo to bring back all the memories you need, that photo of Alfie above will bring back the Christmas morning on moms bed memories back for me year after year.  

Here's to another calm day (fingers x'd) 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx