Time to chill

Saturday 12th October 2019
Once you need less you will have more.

 I had a very calm day yesterday, it is my favourite state of being I think, of all the emotions out there,  being calm has to be up there as how I like to spend my days.  It helps me handle situations that can be difficult, although yesterday wasn't difficult at all, mom was good, she slept a lot of the day because of being awake so much of the night before, it's a bit of a dilemma for me actually, if I try to keep her awake, she would maybe sleep better on the night but if she sleeps in the day, I get to have a bit of me time, mmmm decisions, decisions, this was the position me and Alfie spent most of yesterday once he'd been walked and I had my massage.

In case you hadn't worked it out she refused to go to the hospital and to be fair, I completely understand.  I had a conversation with her, which she understood, I showed her a video of what would happen at the hospital and explained why they were doing it and what may happen if they didn't do it and she chose not to go and I'm thankful that she still has the strength of character to make those decisions herself, I know even before the Alzheimers she wouldn't have gone anyway so I don't feel bad about not making her go.

My brother came and sat with her whilst I had my massage and stayed till noon, he even offered to treat us to a KFC bucket and let's just have it noted I've been fancying one for a few days now, but I declined because I knew it wouldn't do our bodies any good, mom would end up feeling sick and I once again wouldn't lose any weight.  Instead I settled for a SlimWell ready meal from Aldi, the chicken and chorizo style sausage paella one, I wouldn't buy it again, it wasn't for me.  But it was only 11SP as opposed to whatever the bucket would've set me back so all was good.

I'm making a fish pie of some sort today, the fish has been defrosting overnight in the fridge, I'm thinking instead of mash, topping it with cubed roasted potatoes, mmm nom nom and I might be really lazy and use a can of soup as the sauce instead of making a white sauce, although a cheese white sauce would be lush.  There's loads of recipes on the WW app for me to check out.

I'm looking forward to my workshop this morning, catching up with my girls before the work bit starts and seeing my bestie who treated me to my massage yesterday, how lucky am I to have such caring and kind friends, I thought I'd sleep for the hour I was there but I didn't thankfully, I got to enjoy most of the massage before falling asleep towards the end lol.

I fancy a good film this afternoon, hope I can find one, we watched Hancock with Will Smith yesterday followed by a Terminator, the 2015 one, I'd seen both before, I want something uplifting or funny so any suggestions would be appreciated.  I'm a sucker for a romcom too, to be fair.

Right better go shower, wake myself up, although we had an early, early night, in bed and lights out by 8 and bless her, since I said to her the other night, mom I really need to get some sleep, it seems to have stuck in her head because when she does wake up I can hear her telling her teddies she's got to be quiet cos Bev needs to sleep.  I love that old lady so much, all I want for her is to be at peace in her head, I wished I could guarantee that, but I can't, I can only do what I can do.

Here's to enjoying the weekend, mwah

Luv ya


Love me xx