Thursday, 4 July 2019

Yesterday could've been better!

Thursday 4th July 2019
what comes easy won't last long and what lasts long, won't come easy.


So yesterday got flipped on its head and didn't go as planned at all!  My brother messaged me to tell me he's back in hospital, the tumours on his spine have grown and the chemo has fucked his lungs up big time (his words!), gutted for him as he can't have his last round of chemo and he's got to wait for another scan and depending on that either steroids and more morphine or more radiotherapy - none of it's good is it.

But I went and did my workout anyway, 20 minutes, it all helps, I managed a 30 second plank, then I took Alfie out and he get choking and retching, like he'd got something stuck or he was going to be sick but wasn't.  He'd done it the day before when I took him for his walk too, I got talking to one of my members and she agreed with me that we thought it was some kind of allergy, like hay fever, the pollen count is ridiculously high this week.  But then a neighbour saw him and told me I needed to take him to the vet, so because I get a free consultation with my vet plan I did!  She thought he had something stuck in his throat and said she recommended an endoscopy but they couldn't do that there as they didn't have an endoscope, so because I'd have to go to another vets, I'd have to pay for it (I'm not covered for anything outside my vet), when they rang the other vet, I would be looking at £1.5k just to look and if there was anything there up to another grand for other treatment, well I just started crying, I thought he'd got bloody hay fever.  In the end after lots of conversation, she agreed to try my theory and gave him a steroid injection and I've got piraton.  Well he's sleeping like a dream on the landing behind me, so far so good.   I'll leave this conversation here because the rest of what happened with mom when I got home, showed me how far away my mom has disappeared from the person left sitting in the chair in my living room, it made me so sad.

But instead of going in the kitchen and eating, I went for a walk on my own, enjoyed an hour walking, I could do that every day, I really could, I love it, the fresh air, the quiet, just being on my own.  I honestly could've just kept on walking!  One day, I intend to do just that and walk the Pembrokeshire coastal path, it won't be in the foreseeable future, but I'll do it one day.

I didn't get to my workshop as I was stuck at the vets, but I know it wouldn't have been a good result, at best I'd have stayed the same, so now it's time to get real and do this.  I had a half and half day, it started with 2 bacon medallions, egg, mushrooms and 2 slices of bread for 4SP, my dinner was a delicious fish finger sandwich, cost me 15SP though, 3 of which was for the tartare sauce!


Then someone mentioned chips on the night at my workshop and Julie went and treated me to chips and curry sauce, it was just what I fancied, hit the spot, at least it was only a tray but you know what, I bet there was easily 20SP in that tray, not to mention the two slices of bread and butter I had with them!  Today, I do solemnly swear to stay within my 23SP daily allowance for my food!

At least my hour walk earned me 14FP, I earned 21 Fit Points yesterday, but today, I'm going to draw a line and start afresh, I'm resetting my app to start from today, I'm going to find my journal out and get my act together.

Mom's just woke, so I'm going to sort her out and make us both a cuppa, one bad meal doesn't make a bad diet, so here's to a successful day.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

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