First of the month

Monday 1st July 2019
Start where you are.  Use what you have.  Do what you can. 

We're no officially in the second half of the year, I'm more than ready for it, I feel great!  Could I feel better, yeah of course I could, my ankle wouldn't be uncomfortable when I walked and my hamstring on my left leg wouldn't be as tight as it is but on the whole, I feel fantastic in mind, body and spirit, It's a far cry from where I felt at the beginning of the year.  Now I know I don't handle winter well at the best of times, the dark long nights, I'm not a fan but this year was worse, if I'm honest it started at Christmas.  I'd looked forward to it so much, Terry and Alexis were coming to stay and we were going to have a lovely time - we didn't, mom couldn't handle it.  I think I knew before they arrived it wasn't going to work but I hoped she'd be okay, she wasn't.  Anyway, the week I'd so looked forward to having off work was a waste of time, then in January my brother got diagnosed with terminal cancer, I spent my birthday calling my other siblings!  YAY, happy new year!  

I then got stuck, I didn't want to do anything really and I had a few months like that, then something clicked on May 1st and I decided to make May all about me and taking care of myself, looking for ways to improve my situation.  AND I DID! 

So two months on, I'm 8.5lb lighter (I gained a pound last week didn't I - doh), I've spent June making activity a habit, looking for opportunities to move more, so when Alfie looks at me for that ridiculously early walk like he did this morning, or that 2nd or 3rd walk on a Sunday, I go, I see it as 1) a way to earn some more steps and 2) a break from mom and being stuck in the house.  I've just hola hooped whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, the kitchen is just big enough for me to have room.  A few minutes here and there make all the difference, I will do a workout this morning, then I have a stock take to do, instead of being miserable about that, I'm seeing it as an opportunity to organise and sort my shed and again earn some activity points.  I need to do housework and instead of thinking blah, I actually want to do it, one because it will be lovely to sit in later but again because it will earn me some Fit Points.  

I've re-found the lust for life and by that I don't mean a desire to go out and about, I mean the simple things, the day to day things, things like reading a book, learning something new, I've got my BE BOTHERED back and I love it.   I'm enjoying doing everything that's part of my life from going to work, to cooking my dinner, walking the dog, all of it.  

I asked mom this morning if there was anything I could get her for her birthday (Saturday) she said, 'my 16 year old body', I think we can all relate to that and seeing my mom as she is now, I appreciate how precious life is, I plan to do everything in my power to remind me of that.  

Oh and what I weigh doesn't stop me doing any of that, yes I'd love to lose weight but it's not the be all and end all.  If I don't lose weight this week, I honestly don't care because yesterday after our wonderful 6 mile walk along the canal path from The Branch at Wombourne to Tettenhall, we drove back to get my car and my brother offered to treat me to breakfast, normally I worry about getting back to mom and how long I've left her but I thought no, I'm actually starving and we had the best cup of tea and I enjoyed poached eggs on white toast with best butter, oh it was amazing, I love poached eggs but I'm not great at cooking them so to have them cooked for me and cooked well, yep that's worth a lack of a loss, also just to sit with my brother for half hour and chill, without having two dogs that walk faster than you'd like and never, ever stop dragging you along!  

 I had tracked this at 10SP, but looking at the photo now, there's more than 2 teaspoons of butter on that toast!  Hey ho, check out the FitPoints I earned with all the walking I did yesterday, 201 active minutes!  Alfie might walk slower but we still did a couple of miles together. 

My dinner later in the day was all pre-cooked by Waitrose, I just put it all together on a plate, warmed up frozen veg and made Bisto gravy, it was delicious though and the chicken breast was good, I'd buy them again. Although I did eat the skin from them before it even made the oven! 

Mmm, what's gonna be my focus for July?  To be happy, to focus on doing the things that I do that give me that calm feeling I like in my life.  Walking is my meditation, my therapy and healthy delicious food is my pleasure, not forgetting red wine.  It's finding that healthy balance where I can indulge in the things I enjoy without damaging my body and leaving it unable to function.  Yeah that's what I'll be focusing on this month.    

Today, let's do something that our future self will thank us for.   Make July the month you eat better because you care about how you feel not because you only want the numbers on the scales to go down (although that would be a bonus of course).

Take care of you, you're important too.  Mwah x

Luv ya, 

Love me x