Friday, 21 December 2018

1 more to go!

Friday 21st December 2018
Apologising doesn't mean you're wrong and the other person is right, it means you value your relationship more than your ego.

Well yesterday was, let's say eventful but ended lovely, it's my busy day with 5 meetings, even if they're quiet, I still have to do everything the same and work the long hours and it was also the day my brother decided to sort the bathroom (remember mom flooded it!). Well moms mood is flipping in seconds, when she's good she's vey, very good and unlike the little girl in the rhyme when she's bad, she's not horrid she's vile and other words I won't type!  She's attacking me downstairs and I stupidly (should've known better) went upstairs to Terry, he's already angry and frustrated with not having the tools he needed to do the jobs he's got to do and in hindsight (a marvellous thing) I should've stayed downstairs and stayed out of it, anyway, conversations ensued and we ended up having words, I ended up crying (not his fault or mine, we're Longsden's and volatile).  I left and went and hid at my venue for an hour, sat there calming down and going over what had happened, then sent him a message to apologise, he replied doing the same because that's what grown ups who love each other do! 

Remember the next time you have a run in with someone, whether it's a loved one or not, that there's always 3 versions of the situation, yours, there's and what actually happened!  We all see things, how we want to see them, not how they actually are.  In the end we decided to blame mom because we can and the Greek woman on the phone who didn't start speaking in English when we pressed 2, even though that's what she told us to do.  Always blame someone else I say!

Once I got home and mom had gone to bed, we had a couple of hours with a nice glass or do of Whitley Neil Quince Gin and oh we did laugh, I'm not saying our Terry is dramatic (oh and that's the pot calling the kettle black, my besties will tell you that) but at one point the line 'And we will starve & we will die' well there was so much laughter, it more than made up for the nightmare that mom can be, she'd even said 'you're the kindest person I know' to me before going to bed which made me realise she's still in there somewhere, she's just been lovely to me this morning too, telling me she's so glad I understand her - breaks my heart this does, I'm sat here with tears in my eyes thinking about it but now I'm replacing the thought with Terry standing in the middle of the living room saying 'And we will starve and we will die', I'm trying to recall the reason he said it, I'm sure it was because Alexis was being laid back about something and he was saying what would happen if he couldn't work, hopefully they'll be able to remember more than me.  And no it was just the gin that's stopping me from remembering, it's my bad memory, I've never been able to remember anything, I reckon I've had a worse memory than moms for a long time! 

We've still got to do our Christmas food shop, hopefully this morning.  I'll escape for a massage lunchtime, that'll recharge me for the week ahead and they're off out tonight on the jolly so I'll give mom lots of attention because yesterday she was telling them, I can't wait to get away and out the house, of course that's not true but in that moment it was her version of the truth, this disease is vicious and scary and I hate it.  The last few days I've reminisced about some of the wonderful things mom and I have done together and ma'am I miss that so much, I do miss those times.  Maybe I'll start getting out photo albums of our travels and we can go through them together, I think I might be able to get them on Facebook on my laptop or maybe even via the tv, that'd be good because the photos would be bigger.


Another £50 raised for the Foodbank too, one of my members (Sadie Hinton) very talented daughters Leah has made some tee shirts with BeYOUtiful on the back and a happy owl on the front for my members to wear, I have mine thank you and it's lovely.  What a lovely, generous, kind thing to do so thanks to that we have safely smashed the £2k mark, I'll do a final pre Christmas total on Sunday after my Saturday meeting.  

Right I'm off, the Gruffalo is awake, here's to a very, great day, loud, laughter and whatever else it has to throw at us.  Only one more workshop to go before my break. 

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