Who's being crap like me?

25^th October 2018

Silence is better than unnecessary drama

Ooo payday! Well it is for me anyways, although I have spent a hefty chunk of it on online food shopping last week and this week, at least some of it was for the food bank.  Once again I’m blown away by everyone’s generosity, so far we’ve donated 696 meals, how amazing is that.  348kg of food and 46.2kg of non-food, just amazing and I’ve got lots more already to take, I’m going to nip to Blakemore’s today hopefully to spend the £50 voucher they donated. The blankets raffle is going well too, so I’m pleased.

I’ve woke up this morning, still not feeling 100% and released it’s time to do something about my health, I need to lose some weight before Christmas, I’m just not doing the plan, I need to give my head a wobble and get my healthy back or I’m going to enter 2019 in another stone bracket and another dress size and I truly don’t want or need that. 

I spent yesterday planning next week’s workshop and it’s a goodie to help both my members and myself with food planning and prepping, a practical meeting that can be used afterwards, I’m even working on a recipe booklet of sorts.  I can use this info myself too.  My food shop next week will be a lot different, healthier, cheaper and more basic, I don’t want to gain any more weight and I want to feel well again.  I look forward to going to bed at the moment, that’s not good.  Although I did really enjoy my meetings last night, might not be 100% but much better in myself.

Today’s coaching card, “What are you like when you are at your best?”

Now there’s a question, what are you like, or maybe what would you like to be like?  When I’m at my best, I’ve got a bounce, I’m a little manic because I have that excess energy, oh yeah I remember that feeling, it’s more likely to show its head in the spring and summer but maybe I can change that.  At my best I’m enthusiastic, patience and happy, really happy.  Right let’s get back to that!  I know eating better helps, drinking less, moving a little more, all the usual stuff.  I’ve actually just drank my first full pint of water for a bit, always a good sign.

If you’re not at your best, what do you need to do to start you in that direction?

I need to, actually no I WANT TO, sort my diet out, lose some weight, walk Alfie twice rather than once on the days I can, enjoy these colder, darker months as a time to recharge my batteries.  No to remind myself of this further than breakfast time.

There are 61 days left till Christmas which means 68 left of the year, even if we gain over Christmas, say ½ stone – keeping it real, we have 2 calendar months, 8 weeks to do some damage, we could lose a stone, even losing the half stone to regain is better than not losing anything then gaining another half stone.

I’m sitting here thinking, oh ma’an I have a fridge full of cheese!  I know the points in it and it’s not low.  Seriously though, that cheese can be eaten in moderation over the next few weeks, some of it can be frozen, don’t think so of it will freeze. 

It’s time to get a grip – I’m hoping some of you reading this that haven’t been doing it are going to get a grip with me because I can’t do this alone, I need those that are struggling with me.  No disrespect but those that are in the zone, finding it easy, cooking on gas, you’re not what I need right now, because you’re not feeling my struggle – I’m not saying you never have or you never will again but right now you’re like that annoying kid at school who always put their hand up with the answer to every question, it makes me feel worse because I can’t do it.  I know it’s not intentional and I’m not angry at you but I need those like me who are sitting there thinking, “I wanna do it, I just can’t, I don’t know what’s the matter with me, I’m sick of being overweight but I just don’t have the inclination to actually do anything about it and I don’t know why”.  Yeah YOU, I want you to acknowledge that your feeling that way, then we need to keep each other motivated to do this.  Actually motivated isn’t the right word to start with because we don’t have any motivation right now, we’ve just got to MAKE each other do it, we’re going to feel the pain and do it anyway.  We’re going to be honest and say, ma’an I so don’t wanna do this, I wanna eat crap and have someone wave a magic wand at me, but do it anyway.

“What are you like when you are at your best?”

Think about that one, then tell me if you’re with me, oh and I have a list of names in my head so you better sit up and acknowledge you’re as crap as me right now but we’re gonna make each other suffer and stay on track!