28th December 2017
It is not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.
Okay so I look for quotes every day and today I’m seeing a
lot of “She decided to live the life she imagined”, which is all very good but
they person who wrote that was obviously not a carer looking after someone with
Alzheimer’s or something else. Sometimes
we’re not able to do the things we want to do and be the person we are deep
down and at this moment in my life – I’m okay with that. This is the life I’ve chosen and I’m going to
make the best of it. 2018 isn’t going to
be exactly as I’d choose if I were in different circumstances but that’s okay
because the choices I do make will still be my decisions.
Yesterday I blogged about who we are, one thing I hadn’t
written down that I realised later was ‘I am a starter of things! Not always a
finisher’ and some people see that as a bad thing, I don’t, the enthusiasm I
have when I start something is truly enjoyable, having lots of bits of stuff
lying around the house in the hope that one day I’ll get back to them isn’t so
good obviously, but hey ho, such is life.
Anyway, one of those things I’ve started over the last few years is
knitting projects, I did finish some of them but not all, I started doing these
squares to practice different stitches but then realised I just wanted to knit
and not think so instead I knit a really long piece before accepting that
knitting actually hurts my hands/wrists/arms too much to be enjoyable so it all
sat in a cupboard. Then a few weeks ago
I taught myself to crochet and finally being an almost grown up I didn’t rush
out and buy lots of new pretty wool, I decided to use up the wool I already
had, so far I’ve done a lap blanket for a friend and started doing some granny squares. Of course I am chomping at the bit to START
something new and I’ve got this idea to start on January 1st, but I
had all these squares I’ve been doing.
Then came my inspired idea – I would take all the squares knitted and
crocheted plus the long knitted thing and sew them all together to make the
most mismatched blanket ever but when it’s done, it’ll be a reminder to me that
it is okay to be a starter of things because all that starting at some point
can come together to be useful as I’ll have something that looks a bit peculiar
but it’ll still keep me warm on a cold day.
All this reminded me of my weight loss journey, how many
times have I started, every Monday in 2017, every year since I was 18, I’ve
started different exercise regimes, different diets, oh I think I’m in good
company with being a diet starter (better than being a fire starter!) However, just like the wool projects, all
those starts have bought me to the place I am now and had I never started, I
know I’d most likely be twice the size I am now. All those starts have educated me, I have so
much nutritional knowledge now, I know all my downfalls, I understand how I
behave around food and I’m grateful for all those starts because it means when
I get back on track (not quite ready yet, I’m on my holiday!) I’ll have all
that experience of past starts, all that understanding of why I ‘give up’, yeah
all those starts will set me up for success.
I was going to talk about 2018 and my intentions but we’ve
still got a few days to work that out, my first one on the list will be ‘I
intend to continue to start things even if I don’t finish them because I enjoy
those starts, it’s part of who I am and when we add up all the starts,
sometimes it adds up to a complete.
I have decided what to spend my Christmas money on though,
some really nice wool to crochet myself a granny blanket starting hopefully on
January 1st if I can find the one I want by then, it’ll be really
special because people who loved me bought the wool and being snuggled up in it
will be like getting a hug or a cuddle from all of them at once xx
That’s me for today, I’m sat her feeling all snuggly and
smiley, whatever you have planned today, be grateful for who you are, you’re
BeYOUtiful.
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