Shut that nasty bitch up!

4th April 2017

You never fail until you stop trying.

I didn't do my shopping online but I did go to Sainsbury's and fetch some shopping, fitting in some activity where I can, parked far from the entrance too, I did that in every shop I visited yesterday.  Foodwise I wasn't the best but I wasn't the worst, I'm going to use up things I have in the cupboards so just did a top up shop, if I want to have this lovely bedroom done, I've got to be frugal elsewhere.  I used the leftover chicken and added it to a bit of Sainsbury's basic curry sauce (55p) there's 11 Smart Points in the jar, so I had half for 5sp plus 3sp chicken meat and I have this weird thing where instead of rice I have a couple of slices of bread and spread which was 4sp as it was the 400g loaf.

We'd already had a bit of chicken, veg and mash for lunch but I'd forgot to buy gravy granules, so that was boring, some days it's just food isn't it!

Today is my helpers 60th birthday and I love that she's just spent the weekend at Rockers Reunited, just goes to show, you can carry on doing the things you enjoy, whatever your age, this ladies probably been to more rock concerts in the last year than I have in my life! 

Alfie and me managed two walks yesterday, the first one was round the block, barely worth a mention at all, however the second one, well I was impressed, we were out over an hour and went quite the distance, bless him, he only lay down twice!

Tuesdays are always spent at Short Heath methodist church or my office, today will be no difference.  I will use an hour of today to continue to sort this office though, might box up some books today give me some space to move, doing it a bit at a time is making it easier for sure.  I already love going to bed in my clean bedroom even before it's been decorated and the sliding doors have been put up to hide the clothes, I can't do anything until I know what materials I'm having on the doors, so I'm a bit stuck at the moment.  You can imagine how frustrating that is! 

Looking forward to this week's meetings though, we're going to be looking at how versatile the plan is and how if you decide to, you can continue to have successful weight loss with a bit of thought and preparation.  When we don't succeed, it's because we've made the choice not too, I for one and very guilty of that this week.  When I picked up the mixed flavours multipack of Tyrells crisps yesterday because they were on offer for £1, I knew damn well I'd be eating the salt & vinegar ones because mom doesn't like that flavour.  Yep, self sabotage is a dangerous thing for sure.

Why do we get in our own way?  What's that all about?  Are you your own worst enemy.   How many times have you done it, ate or drank something you know is going to ruin the results at the scales, then asked yourself "why did I do that?"  According to the experts, self sabotaging thoughts and behaviours are perpetuated by an inner critic we all possess, this 'critical inner voice' epitomizes a cruel 'anti-self', a part inside us that is turned against us that casts doubt on our abilities.  Well that sounds like a bitch to me!   As with everything, it's formed from our early life experiences and without even realising we tend to internalise the attitudes that were directed to us throughout our development by parents or influential caretakers.  If someone told you, you were lazy for example, you may grow up feeling that way.  You inner bitch voice (I've renamed it) says "why are you bothering, you won't have the energy to keep it up". 

You can also internalise negative thoughts that parents or early caretakers had towards themselves, so if your mom viewed herself as weak you could grow up with similar self sabotaging attitudes towards yourself - you get the gist.  In over words - it's not your fault ;)  Your future is though, you decide what happens now you have that knowledge , we can't change the past but we sure as hell can affect our future. 

Acknowledge your behaviour, identify your self-sabotaging thoughts and shut that bitch up, take back your power. 

On that note, I'm going to go chop some onions and carrots, but and throw it in the slow cooker with a chicken, cos my inner bitch was trying to tell me not to bother just to have something quick for lunch and save myself ten minutes, well no I won't I have time to put dinner on now.

Here's to a good day BeYOUtiful, listening to ourselves not our inner bitch!