"I feel like a complete and utter failure!"

20th August 2016

Well done is better than well said!

Getting up in the dark, Summers officially on its way towards Autumn, the dark nights are coming!  On a positive that'll mean more stews and stuff, yay!  I did my shopping yesterday, mom came with me so yes it was an expensive one.... I got all my No Count foods in ready though and I'm going to get myself back and balanced.

Chicken was predominantly on the menu yesterday, mainly because I'd defrosted it and mom didn't want any so I had Chicken salad for lunch using the new Weight Watchers Balsamic dressings, then for tea I had a chicken salad sandwich so my meals were a little samey but tasty all the same.  Today I'll have more choice, thinking egg, roe and chips to try and tempt mom, mmm nom nom.  I still want that burger though and I've got the 5% mince in the fridge.

Changing the subject away from food or I'll be hungry before 6am! 

"I feel like a complete and utter failure!", I can't tell you how often I hear someone say or message it that to me, of course they mean about their lack of weight loss, their inability to stick to the plan etc.  It's just a heartfelt, powerful line for me to read because behind it is so many strong, emotional feelings going on.  I know I've felt like it in the past, heck I remember sitting on the floor in the kitchen once crying, trying to work out why "I couldn't do it".  I never did find the answer by the way.

Stories!  We all tell ourselves, that's what this is.  We think these things and they are just the stories we tell ourselves, it may be a voice saying "you don't deserve it", "you're just hopeless", "I don't know why you bother because you always fail!"  This all comes from our thinking mind, or over thinking mind in this case, we have these storylines and we believe them. 

How about we let go of those stories we have in our mines, those thoughts and feelings, just decide to be kind and have patience with ourselves and to forgive ourselves for everything that's passed.

That will help you immediately to stop feeling like that failure.  I always say if you're still wanting to do it, still asking for help, still trying or hoping then you're not failing are you - failing doesn't happen until you stop completely!  If the way you're doing it at the moment isn't working, try a different way.

That's why this week I'm going to do No Count, I want to give myself every chance of a good week and I believe that No Count will fit in with where I am with my life at this moment in time.  We forget that our lives change constantly and so we need to adapt with it, what you were doing a month ago to help you lose weight may be the same as what you need to do this week because it doesn't fit in your life now.

I refuse to let my inability to lose weight make me feel like a failure, it's just food.  Funny, it's just food ay, yet it plays such a massive part in our lives and has such power - it tastes damn good that's why.  It's the one thing that most people enjoy doing and that they can do together, it's sociable.

"Do you want an ice cream?"   "No thanks, I'm going to stand here and watch you all eat yours?

"Would you like a dessert?" "No thanks, I'm going to sit here and watch you all eat yours whilst I drink my diet coke."

"Can I get you some poppadoms before your starters arrive?"  "Not for me thanks, I'm going to sit and watch everyone else enjoy theirs"

"We're getting a takeaway, what do you fancy?"  "Nothing thanks, I'll have a ready meal and watch you eat yours"

Reading those comments above is painful, saying them is even more difficult, being in those situations, well, that's excruciating for someone who loves to eat, to socialise, to be part of it all.  Please realise how difficult it is and don't ever feel like a failure.

What we can do is learn to deal with those situations, to realise we don't always have to say "no thanks", to find alternatives in those situations and to except that the 80/20 rule works. 

Be kind to yourself, this thing called life ain't easy and you're doing the best you can BeYOUtiful.  Be proud of yourself for wanting to make those changes, for asking for help and for carrying on - I love you for that strength.

Now let's have a great day, if we can stay on track today and make good food choices, by this time tomorrow, we'll be half way through a weekend on track. I'm in - are you?