No one said it would be easy....

6th January 2015

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier.  But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

SO I laughed at myself yesterday as I went to find a book to start journalling/tracking in so that I could sort out my head as well as my belly and guess what, the first notebook I found had writing on the first dozen pages and they started "21 Jan 2014....." and then went on to say pretty much what I'd planned to write ;), which is why I laughed at myself.

I know myself so well partly because of blogging and diary writing but because I've made a conscious effort over the years to get to know 'me', I think it's one of the reasons I don't get depressed, I may get down but I tell myself, I've been here before, felt this way and come out the other side and I will again.  The last few years my hormones have had a field day with me, once a month I cry at everything and anything and feel pants but even when that's happening there's internal dialogue going one where I'm saying, 'it's my hormones, enjoy a good cry, it's okay they'll be balanced again tomorrow' and they are. 

So finding that notebook and realising that I've been here before gave me that little bit more strength to know I can do this even with those hormones playing their part.

Oh my massage was awesome by the way, if you've never had one you should, or maybe a pedicure or a manicure, you can't beat a bit of pampering http://www.chi-rooms.com/ is where I go, you can't beat some 'me time', it really is incredible, maybe when you've lost your first 5% of 2015 you could treat yourself, or your first silver 7.  Yeah we all need to indulge in ourselves for the right reasons.

Anyway, so after laughing at the notebook, I found another on which was spiral bound, I prefer that kind and on the front it said "Do more of what makes you happy" again I laughed because that's one of the reasons I've gained weight, eating makes me happy!  Let's acknowledge that for a moment, food is awesome isn't it, and it's one of the reasons I enjoy it. 

I've decided to stick with a little notepad and use my app on my phone too, of course I may change my mind tomorrow, I know what I'm like but as long as I'm eating healthy and happy and losing weight, that's all that matters.

My food day consisted of porridge, Greek yogurt and raspberries, not so sure about that as a meal, it's okay but it gave me heartburn.  I had a bowl of my potato soup for lunch with 2 slices of low calories brown bread, again I think I overdid the garlic in the soup and that too gave me heartburn - ain't I lucky to have inherited my moms stomach!  Dinner was however delicious, Salmon, mash and peas, that didn't give me heartburn either, I was still peckish later on so ended up having a warby thin with a bit of ham, soup just doesn't fill me up, I don't know why, I just don't feel like I've had a meal.  But I'm not giving up on the soup idea, I will continue with my effort.

I'm back at work today so hoping normality will make it all easier to stick to the plan, I know that eating 26pp plus 49pp weeklies or sticking to F&H plus 49 weeklies can give me a weight loss of up to 2lb a week, as I'm in no rush if I go a little bit over those numbers I'm happy to lose that much slower as long as I'm losing, it's winter and I need to get through it, nice food and wine helps!  SO slow and steady is my solution.   

I'm not a fan of the winter dark days and my body is full of inflammation at the moment, I'm going to have to get a wrist support so I can carry stuff in and out my car, and I'm going to look into anti-inflammatory foods and see if I can help ease the inflammation that way, I think it's also linked to my hormones - WOW ain't it fabulous being middle-aged, those kids just don't know how much fun it is, I mean they can't hear their knees creaking when they walk up stairs! 

I've just smiled because I've realised I'm going to get to see a whole load of my lovely members today, the flowers I received from four of them two weeks ago today are still flowering - how incredible is that, beautiful lily's. 

I better go shower, find some clothes and get a healthy breakfast inside me, I might make proper porridge today, the hot kind with milk and sweetener mmm, that sounds good actually.  Our main meal is going to be chicken in either a curry or with actifry chips, I'm undecided then for tea, I'm going to try the soup thing and then have an early night, well it won't be as early as I've been enjoying because I'll be at work till 8!

Happy Tuesday BeYOUtiful, let's make it count.