Bank Holiday Boo!

26^th August 2014

I am learning to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be inspire me and not terrify me.  Tracee Ellis Ross

Yesterday was looooooong….. I think it’s something about August Bank Holiday Monday because it’s the same every year and it’s even longer when you add a day of rain to it, it’s still raining now – what’s that all about!

When a day’s long and there’s nothing on television and you just haven’t really got the enthusiasm to do anything else a place we often end up is the kitchen looking for something to do in the way of eating.  That was me yesterday, I did try to battle with that mood though, instead I put the other half of the beef in the slow cooker following a tesco recipe – I didn’t like it when it was eventually cooked, the beef was done to perfection but the wine sauce was yak – wine shouldn’t be used in a sauce like that I don’t think, it wasn’t pleasant.  I made a lovely soup though using potato, celery and onion in a chicken stock, that was my saving grace I had a bowl of that and it took the edge off.  This is why Filling & Healthy works so well because when you just want to “EAT” whether through hunger, boredom or just because, with F&H you can and because it’s good food, it fills you up where as if you did it with biscuits and crisps you could carry on eating for ages.

My day started great with a nice cooked breakfast, WW bacon, egg, mushrooms, tomato and one slice of bread, then for lunch we had Quesadilla filled with spinach, pepper, spring onion, tomato, mushroom & cheese, served with griddled courgette.

These could easily become a new favourite food!  I must have been stuck for something to do because I even spent a few minutes bagging up low fat cheese into 1pp grated quantities ready for use later in the week. 

I even started to read yet another book on ‘emotional eating’, I didn’t continue, they can’t tell me much I haven’t already read to be fair and I knew exactly why I wanted to eat yesterday, 1) didn’t really have the motivation to do anything else, 2) food tastes fantastic 3) it would’ve passed a few minutes 4) I’d just started a new 12 week food journal and my sub-conscious gremlin was hell bent on making it a rubbish first day entry, 5) it was peeing down of rain and we were stuck in the house making me and mom a bit cranky and Alfie a living nightmare.  Ooo I guess I could go on but I won’t.  I guess the real question is why didn’t I just think “sod it” yet again?  1) because I’m fed up with myself for overdoing the ‘sod it’ syndrome this year, 2) realising from all the ice bucket challenges that we really do all need to start taking our health and our weights seriously, we can cover most of our bodies up with good clothing but throw a bucket of water over yourself and everything shows, 3) Because I’d made a decision that I will do 7 days 100% on track, no excuses and I will fill in that 12 week journal with good or bad tracking, the choice is mine and finally 4) because I’d smiled at a Facebook friends posts and it’d made me realise I’m just as bad (she’d done 3 posts  over the morning, the first a lovely photo of bread she’d just baked to go with the second post which was a full English and lastly a post saying “Just squeezed into my jeans. oh I need to diet!!!! tomorrow I start properly. today we are out with friends.”  Who recognises themselves there? 

I have to say had she not done those posts, I could’ve possibly gone off track but reading it like that one after another even though they were posted hours apart made me realise it’s what we all do over the course of a day, we battle with ourselves.  Our moods take up from “YAY I’m gonna do this” to “Oh I need food” to “ooo that looks delicious, maybe just a bit”.  And it’s constant isn’t it, which is why it is so difficult, so don’t ever give yourself a hard time over it.  Food is just so readily available and it is difficult to resist, and even knowing that we eat emotionally and knowing our reasons doesn’t make much difference when in that moment you’ve seen it and you want it, or you’re angry/bored/depressed whatever emotion and food is there to offer you a small amount of comfort.

I don’t know the long term solution by the way, I know a few tricks that work for me, I’ve watched others do it too, I don’t know many who manage to do it all the time continually.  What I do know is that by giving myself a break, accepting my behaviour then deciding to change it by doing what I can when I can has helped me keep the majority of my weight off and also give me the motivation to ensure I don’t gain any more, it’s not just about a size on a label or a number on the scales, it’s about how I feel inside and that is what stopped me yesterday, I realised I loved myself so much I want to live as long as possible, part of ensuring that happens is watching what I eat so I don’t end up with avoidable health problems.

I don’t want to be ‘overweight’ that was the thought I kept reminding myself of and it is why I left the kitchen and finished on track even if I didn’t eat the food I’d originally planned thanks to a recipe fail.

Here’s to another day of rain by the looks, hey ho, I’m seeing it as a great opportunity to enjoy soups and stews, if we’re going to have Autumn in August we may as well embrace it.

Focus on the healthy and happy BeYOUtiful, get excited about getting healthy, remember good healthy food can be delicious too!