Don't forget to love yourself x

19^th August 2012

When one is out of touch with oneself, one cannot touch others. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Epic fail yesterday and I’m blaming my mom and Lynne!  It’s not really their faults because at the end of the day I’m in control of my actions but as they bought the food/wine into my house then I’m sharing responsibility!  It is the first time I’ve gone off track in 3 weeks though so I’m happy with that, and it wasn’t ridiculously off track.  Lynne bought me a second bottle of wine Friday which I didn’t drink then, but it looked so tasty sitting there yesterday and I was chilling so it got opened ;-).  Then I’d made the mistake of taking my mother in B&M’s and Home Bargains and she put Pringles and Cheese Biscuits in the basket – bad mother!  Well you know what happened next don’t you, I don’t even have to explain.  I’ve just done the tracker and the maths and I’m over by approx 50pp! OUCH! Did you know a pint of whole milk is 10pp? 

Back in focus today and hoping for a stayed same tomorrow, whatever the scales say though, I’ll still be a happy owl because that’s more important that numbers on a machine.  Yesterday afternoon I sat reading my happy owl stuff on the internet and it was a good reminder of the changes I’ve made over the last 3-4 years and the difference those changes have made to my life.  Because of those changes I’ve maintained my weight roughly round the 11 stone mark whereas prior to that I would obsess constantly and beat myself up for not being about to get to that number the government dictated, whereas since then I may be half a stone or more over that number (depending on how tall I tell you I am!) but I’m emotionally and physically healthier than I ever was at between 9 and 10 stone.  I’m not saying at my height and that weight I couldn’t be as healthy as I am now, what I’m saying is that I wasn’t because to be that weight I struggled with eating ‘normally’ for me.  These days I tend to eat foods I enjoy, I personally would never put Pringles in my basket as I see them as addictive junk that isn’t as nice as it’s made out to be, my idea of indulgence was what I had last night a plate of hummous, chorizo, prosciutto ham with salad and crackers.  Both choices in large quantities are high in ProPoints but the latter in my opinion is a far superior choice with so much more flavour and it takes longer to eat.

Yes if you struggle with beating yourself up over your weight or if you’re not happy with how you look I really do recommend you go and read http://www.happyowls.co.uk/HappyOwl.html the section on there that talks about how to be a Happy O.W.L.  Trust me it’s a better state of mind to have than constantly beating yourself up and not liking what you see in the mirror.

We briefly touched on that in my meeting on Thursday night when we were discussing reasons to lose weight, one gorgeous young lady said “I want to be look good naked”, my response to that was “looking good naked is a state of mind”.  I was rarely happy dressed never mind naked when I went down to a size 8 because I didn’t feel good enough, mmm yeah I think that was it, I remember constantly striving for that little bit more!  Now at a size 12-16 (shop sizes really are ridiculous!) I feel fabulous when I look in a full length mirror naked, I can stand there and smile and what I see because it’s me and I love me.  Don’t get me wrong I have my wobbles when I don’t feel that way, I had a major wobble 3 weeks ago, hence the strictness in my diet the last three weeks, but reading through my website has reminded me that such strictness isn’t necessary, weight loss happens easier when you enjoy it.  Having said that even whilst I’ve been ‘100% on track’ these last few weeks I have still eaten foods I do enjoy, I know I’ll never go back to the day’s of eating anything that will help me lose weight, no way – those days are gone forever.

I’m sat at my desk now in my pjs with my legs tucked up and I’ve just looked and felt my tummy, yes I can pinch a good handful but so can everyone I think, I remember that used to bother me so much, but now I can grab hold of it and a big smile always spreads across my face when I do, because do you know something, having a flat stomach doesn’t make you a better person, your friends don’t love you more when your thinner, you don’t become funnier or cleverer when you lose weight, you don’t become superior to others – NOPE!  All you become is lighter!

So enjoy being you NOW, don’t wait till your xx stone until you start living or appreciating yourself – DO IT NOW, because if you do then actually you’ll find losing weight a whole lot easier. Xx