Who you talking to! What did you mean by that!

14^th May 2012

 In any family, measles are less contagious than bad habits.   Mignon McLaughlin

Well I think I’ve got something along the lines of man flu ;-) felt proper poo yesterday, not much better this morning, but I shall be okay for work and at least I only have to work this morning then I may go to bed extremely early again.  All hail Night Nurse that’s why I think.

I didn’t do much of anything yesterday, apart from sitting round feeling sorry for myself, I did manage to drive to IKEA for some ideas, I’m looking at making my office more fuctional,  I wasn’t impressed they hadn’t got any catalogues though.

The rest of the day was spent, surfing the internet, watching tele, looking on facebook, boring really but I didn’t have the energy to do much else.  I felt yacky too so not much appetite – bonus some would say.

Whilst having what I thought was a conversation of different thoughts and ideas online yesterday I was reminded of the importance of watching what you write!  In our world of hyper communication, it would appear that the written and spoken word is the dominant form of communication. In fact, far more is communicated on the physical level of body language than any other form of communication. For example, most research breaks down the relative power of communication in the following three ways:

Body language: 55% Tone of voice: 38% Word: 7%

Imagine how much of the message we are missing when we read! It’s also an incredible challenge to be a writer, knowing that the written word is limiting. For example, when I write my blog each morning, the words may flow quickly, but because you can’t hear my tone of voice, see my smiling face, watch my physical gestures (hands, eyes, relative activity, etc.), I should take extra care in what I say and how I say it. It is so easy to be misunderstood in writing alone. How many times have you responded to an email or text and offended or upset the other person? Perhaps you were in a rush to reply, or you were ‘cold’ in your message, avoiding some of the required niceties to open the lines of communication and trust. Unless the other person knows you well and expects a ‘yes/no’ type response, miscommunication may result.

So I think it’s a good idea for all of us to remember in future, don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking, or that you know what someone else meant if you’re reading.

I try to always see another person’s point of view, even when I don’t agree with them or their behaviour I attempt to put myself in their shoes and see why they are behaving in that way.  I don’t necessarily excuse their behaviour, as there’s no excuse for certain things, but I do try to understand it.  I think if more of us did that there wouldn’t be so many full blown arguments. 

A simple example of this was how angry one of my members was last week because her husband and kids had eaten a packet of biscuits she’d treated herself to so she could have one now and again.  She came home to find her family eating them in front of the tv, when I asked if she’d told them not to eat her biscuits or if she’d marked her biscuits with her name she said “no, but they never go in that cupboard usually”.  When you read that you realise they weren’t to know they couldn’t have those biscuits when it’s okay to have any of the other biscuits in the house.  Lack of communication is a dangerous thing, if you want someone to do or behave in a specific way, then tell them, don’t assume they’ll know!

If none of the above makes any sense, I apologise as I’m not 100% this morning, it all makes sense in my head but I’m not sure if I’m communicating it well.  This mornings meeting will be interesting for sure! ;-)

It’s good to talk about using our mouths for something other than eating for a change – have a great day. x