Learn to feel not feed!

15^th January 2012

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy. Walter Anderson

After my lie in yesterday, I ended up doing 7.5miles before 11am and 4 of those were running, so I earned myself some activity ProPoints to enjoy when I need them this week, which will be sooner rather than later because I’ve already consumed 43 of my weeklies and I’m off out for lunch today!  I have to say, I love the weekly allowance because it really does make the plan so much easier to follow.  It means this weekend so far I’ve been able to have wine, cake and the biscuit they gave me with my coffee at the hairdressers - ooo I just love those biscuits they have and I would have felt put out if I’d had to say no to it!  I would’ve felt like I was “ON A DIET” and following ProPoints I rarely feel like that. 

Yesterday I bumped into my sister whilst walking Alfie and we walked together and she started the ProPoints plan last week too, so you can guess what we were talking about.  She was telling me how she hadn’t really followed it last year because she wasn’t ready for change so she’d stuck with what she knew already and just fumbled along.  Then she went on to tell me how much she was loving the Weight Watchers esource because she felt like she was “PLAYING A GAME”!  Well I was stunned because of how much reaction we’ve had about the “PLAY WEIGHT WATCHERS” advert, including from myself.  So I asked what she meant and she explained, she told me that she plays a lot of computer games and spends time on facebook playing their games too, so for her the Weight Watchers esource had helped her turn her weight loss challenge into a game, she using the meal planner to work out her week so that she stays within her ProPoints allowance, and then she uses the recipe planner to ProPoint recipes she likes and finds a way of fitting them into the allowance.  She also plays at trying to add more Filling & Healthy foods to her week so that she has a good healthy diet and then she ended by saying, “And if I win the game, I lose – weight that is!”   Well it made me smile and realise yes we can all PLAY the game, the challenge is to stay within those allowances or earn more if you need them.  She also tries to earn as many activity ProPoints as she can, but decides at the moment not to use them, unlike me, I use them and I’d BUY some more if it were possible and I’d pay a good price for them.

I was also involved in a online conversation yesterday with friends, one asked, “It is normal, is it not, when in a bad mood to turn to wine & stuff your face in a kind of "I’ll show you" kinda way?? (Quite who to show what to though, I’ve not worked out yet.) Of course we all replied, “YES”, because we’ve probably all done it at some time, I know members who do it when they haven’t lost weight and expected to, they go home and overeat because in their minds (I’ve done it too in the past) they’re think “I didn’t lose weight when I tried ay, well I’ll show that leader and those scales, I’ll make sure I don’t lose weight next week” mmm, logical not, but how we react – absolutely.  Why? Well I think with the not losing thing it’s because we were so disappointed we want to be sure we know what to expect at the scales next week, if we overeat we know we won’t lose, so we won’t be surprised when we get on the scales.   Silly but true.   

With the other situation to overeat when in a bad mood in that “I’ll show you” mentality, that’s usually because you’re angry at a person or situation that you don’t want to confront, you have terribly powerful feelings going on inside your body and mind so the easiest thing to do is fill yourself up on food and numb those feelings with food and/or alcohol.  People tend to find it difficult to feel or express their emotions, for one this we’re taught that it’s wrong, for example as a child you start crying and your mom says, “stop crying, stop being silly”, things like that stick, when really why shouldn’t you cry if you are hurt or upset. 

Emotions can be difficult to experience or express if it’s something you’ve never felt comfortable doing, so eating is easier.  Most feelings can be narrowed down to four basic emotions – angry, sad, afraid or happy and the most important thing to remember is all of these emotions are okay to experience and express.  Telling someone you feel that way also doesn’t have to cause an argument, something I learnt a while ago that really has helped me whenever I find myself in a situation is not to ‘blame’ the other person so instead of saying “You’ve upset me”, tell them “what you did has made me feel..” that way it isn’t their fault.  Don’t blame – explain. 

Being willing to experience all of our feelings, to experience the discomfort is how we eventually stop emotionally overeating.   Most of what we fear is not always as bad as we think it will be.  When you’re struggling with a situation, ask yourself “what is the worst that could happen if you let yourself feel the anxiety or sadness or boredom?”  Do you even know what it’s like to be bored?  When was the last time you allowed yourself to be angry?  Mine was this week and my friends try to bring me out of it so to speak but I know I need to feel that way and express my thoughts to be able to move forward and get over it so to speak.  I did and I did and it felt good, I couldn’t express that anger towards the person it was meant for so I used my friends as sounding boards and I thank them dearly for it ;) , everyone needs friends like that.

The more you are willing to experience your emotions and your thoughts that go with them, the easier it gets and it starts with just doing it once, and then again, and then again. 

The main reason why diets fail is because people do not address this issue, it’s no good just learning to follow the ProPoints plan if when something happens and someone upsets you, you’re going to go on a food feeling frenzy!

It takes time to manage overeating but you can do it, I have, I can’t remember the last time I overate because of a feeling frenzy.

Right I better get off, I’ve got a case of verbal diarrhea this morning haven’t I!

Have a sensational Sunday – I WILL!