9th April 2011

Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong. Norman Vincent Peale

I’ve just had a great walk with Alfie, we were out for over an hour and a half, it’s lovely out there so I hope you’re not going to spend today indoors, I hope you’ll get to enjoy some of this sunshine.

When I’m walking on my own, I think and today I was thinking about a conversation I’d had and it got me thinking about ‘change’, how many things we’d like to change if only we could, I hear it from so many people so often. I actually feel very fortunate that I wouldn’t really change anything about my life, apart from giving myself more hours in my day to do everything I’d like to and of course the energy to do it. I’d quite like an over-active metabolism too, so I could eat more ;) but that’s not gonna happen so hey ho!

Are you one of those people who say, if only I could change …. or if only he would change… or they would change… then everything would be so much better. Sometimes the easiest way to get other people to change their behaviour is to start by changing yours, you can’t make another person behave how you’d like them too, but you can change how you react. At the same time if you’re not happy with a situation that person won’t know unless you tell them!

You could take inspiration from the Michael Jackson song,

"I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways and no message could have been any clearer, If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make a change"

Ok so you might not care about changing ‘the world’ just interested about changing ‘YOUR WORLD’ either way, the only way you’re going to start that process is by you “being the change”.

Is it that you have too many changes you want to make, or have you tried and it just hasn’t helped? You could try doing something different, I’m sat here at my desk, it’s almost silent apart from a small fly burning out the last of its short life’s energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly’s strategy: TRY HARDER. But it’s not working.

The frenzied effort offers no hope of survival. Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through effort and determination. The fly’s doomed, it’s gonna die there on my windowsill.

Six inches away, the other window is open. A few seconds of flying time and the fly could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.

Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that this particular route and determined effort offer the most promise of success? What logic is there in continuing, until death, to seek a breakthrough with more of the same?

No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly, unfortunately it’s an idea that will kill.

Trying HARDER isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s a big part of the problem. If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying hard than ever, you may kill yourself chances for success.

If you’re not getting anywhere, what could you try doing different?
If you want to see a change, how can you change to help that situation?

And don’t worry I’ve helped the fly find the open window, maybe I can help you find your open window too. xx