Tears are cleansing x

Friday 26th November 2021

Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they're there.

Comfort Eating!  Enough Said! 

Actually it's not enough said is it, we all do it to some degree but what we tend to overlook is that comfort eating is not just eating in response to negative situations but positive ones too.  We all need to be cautious of that over Christmas, the positive, but then again, it's not what you do between Christmas Eve and New Years day that matters, it's what you do from New Years day to Christmas Eve, so let's enjoy this Christmas shall we?  

I definitely didn't think about my eating yesterday and my choices weren't great, I did manage scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast but then it was picky crap at tea time, I just felt blah when I got home last night, the house was empty, I opened the fridge door and looked towards the kitchen door and he wasn't standing there staring at me like he always has been for the last 12 years.  It'd been a hell of a day, Carol couldn't bring herself to sit in the front of the car with me because that was Alfie's seat.  Then Elle, Carol and I all had a cry together whilst setting up the room ready for the day ahead.  

I was very grateful that no one asked me about it, thanks for that, I hope that, they'll continue not to ask because I really can't talk about it without crying and I don't want to keep going over it again and again, he's gone, he was an epic little dog and he'll be missed and is unreplaceable. 

In other news, it's 29 days to Christmas, I'm so glad I'm not going to be home for it now, everything will be so different and that will be a relief!  This year has been full of so much sadness, today is Lucy's partners funeral which will be very emotional, my beautiful friend is so sad as you can expect and angry with the world.

I've never been so glad to have someone in my life to share all this with, even if it's only been over the phone, he did offer to drive back, but I said no, I'll be glad when he does get back though, it's been the longest week, watching my poor boy suffer and knowing in my heart before being told by the vet.   I think I've known for weeks now but didn't acknowledge it.

Amongst all the sadness and tears, I'm still happy - that's madness isn't it but I can see the future, once the sadness starts to subside, I know that I have lots of happy times to look forward too. Silly things like being able to pop to town like I did yesterday without worrying about what to do with Alfie, because even when I left him with my sister, he still really stressed.  I don't remember the last time I was able to go somewhere and not worry about how long I was going to be and how mom/alfie were because I wasn't there and what they'd be like when I got back.  It's such a relief but obviously tinged with true sadness.  I'm sat here crying again, my bloody eyes are all bloodshot with massive bags underneath them and we haven't even got to the funeral yet!

Let's focus on the positives!  3 good things from yesterday

Elle, Carol & I arranged a Christmas lunch outing for December. 

I spoke to my mate Katie, haven't seen her since end March and we arranged a catch up too.

Elle and I put a smile on someones face.  It feels good to do good. 

Actually amongst the tears there were more than 3 good things...

I took a neighbour to buy her sons Christmas bike. 

I bought Christmas PJ's in M&S, ended up with 2 pairs for £35

Chatted on the phone for ages - I'm not on my own just because I'm the only one in my house.

Carols still gonna house sit whilst I'm away, she'll get a break from her hubby & I'll get my house cleaned :) 

My bestie wished me happy thanksgiving from Vegas reminding me of the wonderful holiday we had together 10 years ago in New York.  

See even amongst the sadness, there's always something good to look to.

On that note, I've been up since 4am so I'm gonna have another mug of tea. 

Mwah, luv ya 

love me xx

  

He had 12 really good years

Thursday 25th November 2021

I have no quotes in me today!

I'm struggling for words this morning, I knew Alfie wasn't good and hadn't been himself for a while but I didn't realise I would be returning from the vets without him yesterday.  Actually I did have the thought that he wasn't long for this world but still it was a blow.  This morning I look like crap, tears have been a plenty since I walked out that door, sleeps not been great but I know it was the right thing to do and I'm relieved that the vet told me it was time. 

Please if you see me, don't ask me the why's about it, just know he was a poorly boy and he's out of pain now, for those who believe (I wished I did today) he's probably running round barking at mom saying, 'where the bloody hell did you go!', I've asked to have his ashes back and I will scatter them together in Wales at some point next year.  

Oh I can't type this morning, it's all too raw, if you have a pet, go give them a cuddle, same with your loved ones.

I'm gonna go make me another cuppa and work on stopping crying!

Mwah, luv you 

Love me x

23lb gone in total, chuffed with that!

Wednesday 24th November 2021

Eat to fuel your body not to feed your emotions.

I managed to lose 1/2lb, once again really pleased with that, especially as it's only 30 days to Christmas!  Damage limitation now, do what I can when I can, enjoyed beans on toast yesterday for brunch then had a small pie out the freezer with a slice of bread and spread for tea, not the best choice, neither were the half dozen biscuits I ate yesterday afternoon.  I won't be doing it again though, the heartburn I had when I went to bed was a savage reminder, my body can not handle that kind of food! 

Alfie was very subdued yesterday, slept most of the day, he's still asleep now, taking him back to the vets this afternoon so will see what they have to say.  Poor little love, I just hope he's not in pain, he's still eating which is a good thing isn't it, I guess.

Oh I need to be a bit healthier today!  What's happening is I wanted a dirty big doner kebab and I've resisted since Sunday, I should just get it out my system!  I can't go stand in the chippy cos of Alfie being so bloody anxious, so he's saving me from myself I guess.  Maybe I should make my own, using that recipe that everyone used to make, Donor Kebab (behappyowls.com).

I'm going to have a good mooch through the freezer today and find something absolutely delicious to eat, so that I don't want the kebab because it will also give me heartburn!  I'm sick to death of getting it, that's one thing I did inherit from my mom, my brother gets it really bad too.

I had a lovely chat with a friend yesterday who's started her own little business and will be at Wednesfield Christmas market next Saturday, but if you'd like a sneak peak, she's be at our huddle this Saturday.  She also has an etsy page and people buying locally don’t have to buy via Etsy, she has a card machine so you can pay cash or pay via card and collect and pay no postage! https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/katescornergiftstore  We should all try to support local businesses. 

Ah well, I've just enjoyed a lovely mug of tea, got a morning to look forward to at the huddle, hopefully the vet will have more good news for me and yay it's Wednesday, half way through the working week, I'm lucky cos I love my working week but I also love my weekends, got to be careful not to wish my life away ay. 

Let's do this day shall we, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

 

Baby, it's cold outside!

Tuesday 23rd November 2021

Be Enough for yourself first!

The good news yesterday was Alfie doesn't have that really nasty bacterial infection, instead the little love has 2 other infections in his ear, but hopefully we've got them under control.  I'm not to do anything with his ears now and when I take him back tomorrow for his jab so he can go on his holidays next month, they'll have another look in his ear and see how it is.  He's slept since we got back, been a bit whiny in the night, woke me up a good few times, good job I love him because I was really tired!  

Had my hair cut too, just a trim, she curled it for me, which once it had dropped out, had a lovely bounce to it, shame I'm a lazy bird with no 'girlie' ability because I'm unlikely to do it again, you never know though, I'll try! 

The scales are a calling this morning, I'm not hopeful after our night out Saturday and my lack of tracking over the weekend!  Damage limitation for the rest of the year I think, do what I can when I can and enjoy the opportunities to have a good time.  No supermarket shop this week, I'll be living out the fridge / freezer / cupboards, breakfast yesterday was tomatoes on toast, then I had sliced beef, potatoes and asparagus for dinner, but I did pick at some cheese and biscuits later which didn't help the outcome today.

Hopefully this weeks huddles will give me some ideas on how to survive the run up to Christmas without doing too much damage at the scales!  At least if I don't buy anything this week, that'll help limit the damage I can do.  I fancy beans on toast today, saw a pic on Facebook yesterday and thought mmmmmm, maybe an egg on the top too.  That's brunch sorted!  

Right let's get ready for the day ahead, 31 days to Christmas, I am really looking forward to all of it, but first work, I'm looking forward to that too!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Enjoying living a 'normal' life

Monday 22nd November 2021

Oh hello week, let's do this...

32 days to Christmas!  OMG, that's exciting ain't it - or is it lol, it has to be the most expensive time of year, then you get to eat lots of loveliness but know at some point you have to get back to reality and work at getting it off!  

I've had a lovely weekend again, actually went out on Saturday night, met up with my brother Ian for a few too many drinks!  G&Ts go down way too easily, the only upside was we didn't eat when we got back, so saved a few calories there, I did have a cheese and onion cob up the bar in the Summerhouse though. 

Yesterday was a day of rest, only went out to walk the dog, had a Maccy's breakfast delivered, had to be done apparently, I've never really been a fan but I had a bap thing rather than the muffin and it wasn't bad to be fair.  Oh I've just remembered Saturday lunchtime we went to Well Lane cafe and had a breakfast, I went for a medium, he opted for large but wow, that was a damn good breakfast and ain't it nice not having to cook, everything tastes better.  That was the only meal we both ate Saturday though, scales will be interesting tomorrow!

Busy day ahead, having my hair cut this morning, Alfie is at the vets this afternoon, then I'm off to pick up a couple of tops from the lovely Jessica (2) Jessica's Boutique | Facebook Christmas pressies for myself :) 

I need to sort this weeks topic out for the huddles first!  I better get my backside into gear, I'm sat watching Adele at the minute.

Let's have a great day and an amazing week. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

No rush in me today

Friday 19th November 2021

Grow through what you go through.

A cracking good day was had yesterday, huddles fab as always, Elle and I secured two new venues for the new year - watch this space!  

Alfie's perked up a little, he's still not right but he's getting there slowly hopefully.  Let's just say I had chicken casserole for dinner yesterday minus the chicken which was consumed by Mr Alfie so there's nothing wrong with his appetite, bless him. 

My house is full of Christmas in boxes right now, my tree came last night so I'm going to get it out the box today just to make sure it's all in working order, because I'll be well miffed if I get to Ireland and there's a piece missing!  My baubles are epic, I'm so excited, I bloody love Christmas, especially now there's no barriers, so sparkly :) 

But it's not Christmas yet lol, so I'm not looking at food products because that's dangerous.  We've got to have a few more healthy weeks before then, more fish, veggie food and white meat and less red meat and fatty stuff.  If you c know of any really good veggie stuff out there, let me know. 

Got our new journals coming today, need to get stuff tidied up in this house after my sort out, I'll potter today I think, I want to go mooching round the shops but that'll have to wait till the weekend.  

I have no idea what's on the menu today, need to go check the freezer for fish, don't think I have any salmon, but I do have cod, ah we'll see.  I have no rush in me today, I've had a decent sleep, I'm proper chilled, love Fridays I do.

Here's to a very, good day 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

Let's have a great day!

Thursday 18th November 2021
Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. 

'What relationship to you am I?'  I've just watched a video in my FB memories from this day last year and that was what mom said to me!  I don't know why all of a sudden but I've been a bit emotional yesterday and this morning, it could be all the memories that are showing on Facebook.  Also I did some sorting upstairs yesterday and found the last few of moms clothes which I put in a bag, that was another reminder.  Lastly I started thinking about Christmas and getting a little excited about the idea of getting a big tree and decorations and this is the first one without mom, the last few were just shit, she wasn't even in the room really.  I want to start creating new traditions, we always had egg and chips, not this year, I want a proper Christmas roast, it's only 37 days away, that'll fly won't it.  I want the rest of this year to be filled with laugher not tears, so my emotions can get themselves back under control, maybe I'm just hormonal too because I don't feel sad if that makes any sense at all.  The joys of being a woman!  

One a positive I've filled lots of bin bags and had a good sort out making room for a few more nice tops lol :) I do love (7) Jessica's Boutique | Facebook she has some lovely stuff!  

A busy day ahead so no time to overthink thinks today and instead of focusing on a to do list how about we all start on a to be list, such as happy, calm, loving, healthy, BeYOUtiful, those things will do us much more good than cleaning the kitchen sink!  

 I enjoyed a lovely bit of fish yesterday with butter sauce, one of the packets but I added extra cod, had it with rice, mushrooms and peas, bloomin lush it was.  Teatime I had one of those small pizza's and add a few extra toppings, nom nom.  Not a bad day food wise at all.

I've been on the phone for half hour so I need to get a wriggle on now!  Here's a great day, let's make it a good one.  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Still losing!

Wednesday 17th November 2021

Be you, do you, for you.

There's nothing quite like seeing a room full of people proper belly laughing, what makes it even funnier is when the topic is so bizarre you couldn't explain it to anyone who wasn't there really, now that's my kind of morning and to top it off, the members lost an average of 1.5lb each, which is always what we want, success for our members.  

I managed to lose last weeks gain plus an extra 1/2lb so now my total loss is 22.5lb, need to stay focused this week and get another loss, the weekend after will be a challenge, a party, but again, I can be good on the not a party days :) 

I'v finished my week of completing the class journal, I will continue with my own tracking as it has made a difference, but I won't always be sharing it with everyone, that's added pressure I don't need lol.  

I didn't get any housework done yesterday, I was out till lunchtime with Elle looking at potential venues, then I took Alfie to the vets.  No further forward there, still waiting on swab results, so back there Monday to check his ears again, the stress of having drops in his ears has increased his anxiety so his skin has flared up from him scratching again - happy days - not!

Today I plan to get some tidying done, I need to paint the kitchen at some point but I've got to psych myself up for that!  I fancy fish for dinner, maybe with rice, I've had too much red meat again since the weekend, so a few days of lighter food is in order. 

We ordered new journals yesterday, they should be here Friday, I'm looking forward to these ones as I've made them a little different this time, plus now I've started tracking I'll enjoy filling it in. 

Time to get my move on and get my day started, here's to a very, great day 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

We are enough!

Tuesday 16th November 2021

Take that step - the step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are.

Last week in huddles we talked about self love and one affirmation we recommended members use daily was 'I am enough' because you all are, whatever you weigh, it doesn't define you and if you can learn to love yourself you're more likely to succeed with your weight loss goals because you don't take care of anything you don't love!  

I didn't have a a great food day yesterday, skipped breakfast, had egg, chips and peas for dinner with was lush, then I found a part baked baguette in the cupboard and cooked that, ate some with butter, then the chocolate biscuits appeared and I ate 3 of them and drank a big glass of cold coffee.  WHY?  I was tired I think, so believe it or not I went to bed at half five to watch tv because I was tired and I'm sure I was asleep by 6!  I woke up at 9 because my new neighbour starting drilling!  Thankfully it only lasted 5 minutes, because it was sawing at 9.30 Sunday night.  I woke at midnight then slept through to half five, bliss.

Spent a lot of time on laptop and phone yesterday, but got stuff done which was a good thing, Alfie went for a walk, he's not right, he's scratching like mad again but had a bit of a better night, back at vets this afternoon, also looking at a potential new venue with Elle - eek!

I'm going to have a better food day today, I have a cottage pie needs eating, so that's dinner with veggies.  I'm not hungry this morning, so maybe a bit of porridge, we'll see.  

I'm sat drinking a lovely mug of tea wondering if I have a hope in hell of a weight loss this week!  I've enjoyed tracking my food but not been keen on sharing the evidence with others I won't lie, which is weird because I post my stuff all the time, maybe it's that choice thing, who knows but I do know I've ate stuff I wouldn't usually, I mean chocolate biscuits - I can't remember the last time I ate one, it's because they're in the house.

I've acknowledged this weekend, I'm a feeder!  I like to make people happy and food is one way of doing that, so I've been buying food he likes, but then I'm tempted so that needs to stop, because let's be honest, it ain't doing him no good either, neither of us need to be gaining weight!  It's bad enough that he walks over the Co-op at the weekend for a loaf but comes back with bloody giant monster munch and honey coated nuts, deep sigh lol.  Note to self - make sure we have enough bread and milk at weekends!

Right busy day ahead, not sure how the scales will react when I step on them but hey "I am enough", I'm just trying to get a little healthier for the sake of my joints, oh and I'd like to get back in my old clothes too.

Remember you're BeYOUtiful xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

 

40 days to Christmas!

Monday 15th November 2021

Find joy in the ordinary.

I've had a wonderful lazy, relaxed weekend, I didn't even leave the house yesterday!  Alfie seems a little better in himself, just sleeping a lot, but doesn't seem in pain so hopefully the drugs are doing something, I'm to take him back to vet tomorrow afternoon,

I've filled the group journal in all weekend, it's really eye opening realising how many calories you consume and how many you could've consumed if you didn't think twice before dishing up or cooking.  Breakfast yesterday was an egg sandwich, now usually I only have 400g bread but had 800g loaf so that doubled the calories, to balance that, I went without the bacon. 

The beef dinner, only had roasters and not mash, but it soon added up to a fair amount of calories, I forgot to take a photo which is a shame.   I did enjoy my chocolate biscuit and latte though, just shows how easy it is to consumer 1500 calories in a day!  

Two more days of the class journal!  Not sure what's on menu today, but I do have a cottage pie that's use by 15th (could freezer I guess, but I don't want too, might have that tomorrow, then there's a tray of chips, might have egg, beans and chips for main meal.

I have a busy day ahead so will burn a few calories, the house is back to how it looked before I cleaned it last Wednesday, so I'll have a tidy up, I've also got to get the meeting notes sorted, I've got to catch up on Doctor Who, I'm two episodes behind :) plus Alfie needs a good walk if he's up for it. 

Now what to talk about this week, decisions, decisions...

The importance of tracking maybe, because I've realised it really does make a massive difference, I would've easily eaten more if I hadn't been bothering to record it!  

Here's to finishing the class journal, then using my own to continue until Christmas and lose a few pounds, it's good doing the 3 good things too, that's made me focus on my day and what's good about my day.

Here's to making today full of good things, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Poorly dog :(

Friday 12th November 2021

You don't have to control your thoughts, you just have to stop them from controlling you.

I survived yesterday which was quite the feat as it didn't go quite as planned!  We had two cracking huddles, minus our lovely Carol who'd had a doctors check up appointment on the morning then had a fall whilst there so stayed home to make sure she was okay.  We've always appreciated how much she does for us, but having to do it ourselves made us appreciate it that little bit more!

Alfie wasn't well so I called the vets and they got him in for half eleven, his ear was full of runny, smelly gunk, and the vet took a swab to send of for testing, then informed me that he was pretty certain it was a bacterial infection called psuedomomas which is extremely aggressive and difficult to treat, sometimes it goes to the brain and the dog has to be put to sleep!  Now I have a bag full of medication to give him, I had to drive to Stafford to pick up one as they didn't have it at that surgery.  I'd drunk a litre of water whilst waiting for our appointment so as you can imagine after a return drive to Stafford, I was a little desperate for the toilet!  £160 later, Alfie slept all afternoon and I left him at home last night.

I can't complain really, for the first 10 years, his vets provided the most incredible insurance cover, for my annual fee, which is now £175 a year, he got all his check ups, emergency out of hours and medication FREE!  Then a couple of years ago they changed the cover and I now have to pay for 50% of the medication, so that consultation and medication if we hadn't got he insurance would've probably been nearer £500.

It would've been easy for me to have something high calorie for lunch, especially as it was after one by the time I ate which is late for me at lunchtime, but no I was a very good girl, I had carrot and coriander soup, on its on, a huge bowl for 192 calories. 

It was really tasty too!

I had a fancying for Lamb Chops because the slow cooker chicken wasn't floating my boat, my lovely sister came and sat with Alfie so I could fetch some and she also took away the chicken curry :).  Dinner was delicious, so good I forgot to take a photo, but trust me that was the tastiest 700 calories I've cooked for a while.   

Hadn't planned on wine but after the day I'd had, meh, then it tasted so good, I expected to finish the bottle but I didn't, so I'm happy with that.  The tracker of truth really does help, knowing I'm writing it down and others will see, is making me think about what I have. 

It's now Friday, my day off, I'm probably gonna cook butter chicken, but I have to get chicken first, turns out I ordered all the ingredients except the chicken - DOH!  What a numpty!  

I know I'm going to have a lovely day whatever we eat, I've got to do Alfie's ears 3 times a day and get drugs in him so that's going to be fun - not, but it'll be okay because I've woke up with a positive mindset. 

Here's to a fantastic Friday!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x 

Being accountable ain't I!

Thursday 11th November 2021
A life spent making mistakes is so much better than a life spent doing nothing!

Well, I got stuff done yesterday and my body knows about it this morning!  This was my day, cracking huddle with new members, the busiest Wednesday morning we've had so far which was brilliant.  Somehow I ended up with the class journal, I'm hoping the extra accountability will show on the scales next week.

I then got home and did 4 hours of housework, I cleaned windows and mirrors and if you've seen the mirrors in my house they're floor to ceiling (two of them!)  My house does look lovely now though, the only room I didn't get completely done was the kitchen, that's not long been deep cleaned but I'll do it next Wednesday or maybe Monday. 

Apparently 4 hours moderate cleaning earned me 856 calories, I was dancing round in-between any actual cleaning too, I was a true rock star in my own mind yesterday!  Poor workmen next door must have thought I was being attacked! 

Alfie and I went for a little walk, he'd done a long walk the day before so wasn't up to going too far, I was concerned he'd been a little quiet the last few days but he still managed to get a little frisky when he met a few dogs, so I think it's just old age. 

11,797 steps done yesterday, but only 19 active minutes so the fitbit didn't pick up the housework, that doesn't mean it didn't happen, my body knows, when I was walking Alfie, my sciatica had kicked in good and proper.  This morning, I'm a little stiff and my backs not so happy, it'll be okay though, it's all good for me. 

Sleep wise, I got my 8 hours, I actually had a little more as I fell asleep watching Casino Royale, so I don't know how it ended, feel free to tell me so I don't have to find where I stopped watching, conclusion, all Bond movies are the same really and nothing changed when Daniel Craig took on the role. 

Now back to this journal, I hadn't eaten breakfast yesterday, I wasn't hungry, so when I got home I had oats with coconut milk, the milk been recommended as a low calorie, tasty alternative for cereal and it didn't disappoint, I've just enjoyed some on Weetabix this morning. 

I skipped lunch, busy working hard, plus not hungry.  I'm carrying a water bottle round with me to ensure I drink more water, I had at least a litre yesterday, there's a bottle by the side of my bed too. 

After working up an appetite my fish and chips were mega, I really enjoyed them and all of this washed down with a couple of glasses of wine from an open bottle, so none tonight now, I did sleep like a log though, woke a couple of times but went straight back to sleep and finally awake just after five. 

Now for a day of huddles, oh I also have my dinner cooked as I did the slow cooker chicken yesterday ready, not sure what it'll be like as I wasn't impressed when I started reading the packaging!  Now I bought this when it was on offer but I would NOT pay £1.80 for it. 

It tells you to brown the diced chicken in a frying pan, then transfer to your slow cooker.

then fry the diced onion until soft before adding to slow cooker with tomatoes and the pouch of Curry sauce and stir.

That to me isn't how slow cooking works, there should be no pre cooking required, plus I didn't realise I had to add the tomatoes either, I might as well have bought a jar of sauce and cooked it on the hob in 20 minutes. I didn't follow their instructions just threw it all in the slow cooker so we'll see what it tastes like.  

Calories wise, the sachet is 70 calories per 1/4 pack, then the other ingredients 

Curry sauce sachet 280

Tin tomatoes 94

200g onion 70

600g chicken (it said thigh but I only had breast) 636 

Total calories 1080, feeds 4 at 270 calories, mmm I'm not sure that'll be worth it at all.  I will be cooking butter chicken tomorrow Butter Chicken (behappyowls.com) and that's the same calories and I know that'll blow it out the water!

Wish me luck with day 2 of my journal, it's helping already, I can tell, I'm quite pleased I ended on 1308 calories yesterday, makes me want to do similar today, thinking soup for lunch, save calories for dinner!  Breakfast just cost me 160 calories = bargain.  Mustn't forget the mug of tea also, so another  16 calories.  Yeah love the simplicity of calories, I don't eat the same foods every day, I don't want to have to eat the same foods, I like variety, calories allows me to do that.

Here's to a very, very, great day.

Mwah, luv ya

love me xx

Oops, but it was worth it.

Wednesday 10th November 2021

The words you speak become the house you live in. 

What an absolutely amazing day Elle and I had yesterday at the huddles, so many new members for November, showing people want to make a difference before Christmas!  Love the topic this week too, I do love a whole lot of self love, seeing our members realise they're BeYOUtiful and amazing already and they're going to take care of their bodies by feeding them nutritious and delicious food and losing weight at a pace that doesn't make them miserable because they don't enjoy life along the way! 

I gained a pound by the way, which is absolutely okay, I'd had that wonderful meal out with Lynne on Monday, I'd also enjoyed a Chinese at the weekend washed down by Champagne (because I can and it's nice to be treated, I mean I'm not turning down Chinese and Champagne!)  Have you noticed so many of the niceness starts with C's, chocolate, crisps, chabli :) 

That is Living and Losing at it's best, I will be having a much better week this week and I'm going to cook Friday so we aren't tempted by a takeaway, I just need to decide what to cook, it'll still be high in calories, but there won't be leftovers for the next day.  Maybe steak? Or a trip to M&S for a meal deal, or do I actually cook a recipe from scratch, but what recipe, I've been fancying butter chicken Butter Chicken (behappyowls.com) for a while and the calories on that aren't too bad, could add rice and a naan.  

Yesterday I ended up eating this for lunch yesterday, I'd forgotten I'd bought a couple of ready meals and they're both use by 11th, I thought I'd bought a normal cottage pie but it was a veggie one, now usually I'd be okay with a veggie meal but this was way too rich for me, I think it was more about the red wine than the lentils, I left half of it, the mash on the top was delicious.  If you're a veggie and like rich gravy, it's worth a go for 292 calories. 

I now fancy a good cottage pie or shepherds pie, maybe that's something for the weekend menu when I'm not just cooking for myself or when buying something that serves 2, it's good to have someone to share it with so I don't eat both portions ;)  Now to decide whether to buy or make, I do have a lot of beef mince in the freezer!

Another delicious recipe I haven't had for a while which uses mince is Beef Larb (behappyowls.com) 

Decisions, decisions, plus anyone who knows me knows all that could change in a heartbeat because I'm rubbish at planning what I'm going to eat, as what I fancy changes by the hour!  I do like the idea of a trip to M&S that'd be asking for trouble though :) 

Christmas is getting nearer isn't it, I'm starting to get all 'christmassy' - 44 days away - eek!  It really is the most wonderful time of the year!  

Today though it's Wednesday and I need to get ready for work, got a busy day planned ahead, involving a hoover and other cleaning tools, I'm going to spring clean the house I think!  Start upstairs when I get back from huddle and work my way down!  It's the windows I keep putting off, but they need to be done, so I'm going to be brave!

Whatever your day looks like, enjoy it and take care of you. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Grab a glass of water to start your day!

Tuesday 9th November 2021

Happiness blooms from within.

Well last week I was losing, this week I've been living :) I don't expect a loss today and I'm 100% okay with that because I've had a wonderful week finished off with a meal out with my bestie Lynne who I haven't eaten out with since January 2020 and it was delicious!  

This starter was incredible!  

 I didn't eat all the chips!

 We shared pudding!

At least the only other thing I ate yesterday was my breakfast which was a yogurt with a bit of granola. 

I've just seen this in my memories; 

The difference between CAN & WILL or WOULD & COULD is powerful and makes all the difference!  

This is so true, our words are always powerful and taking control of your decisions is key to success.  I can and will eat healthy for the rest of this week and I will not drink any alcohol, yesterday I drank a coffee and water so that kept the calorie intake down.  

The thing with calories is they are in everything we eat, so it's no good eating loads of low calories 'healthy' foods if you're still gonna indulge on some of the good stuff too, they all add up!

I CAN resist temptation more than indulge for the rest of this month and I WILL because I want to enjoy Christmas as it's my first Christmas away in 8 years and the last one ended with mom in hospital and changed our world, so if I have an amazing, indulgent holiday and gain half stone, so be it because that's living and losing and real life.

Here's to a day of fish and goodness, might have an egg sarnie for breakfast, I've been awake since half past three this morning, lay there for an hour, then gave up and got up!  I'll be ready for a decent breakfast full of protein and goodness.  I'll also take a bottle of water with me to keep my fluids up, I drank a lot of water last night but didn't wee much (too much information?) so I'm obviously not drinking enough and a little dehydrated.  I'm working my way through the freezer, so cod in butter sauce for lunch, maybe with rice for a change rather than mash and lots of veggies. mmmm.  Damn I forgot to get the chicken out the freezer to defrost for the slow cooker chicken curry, I'll do that now and I can have that tomorrow. 

Right I'm off so I don't forget to do it!  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

It's not Christmas yet!

Monday 8th November 2021

Be yourself, who else is qualified? 

Monday morning, how will your week go?  Are you starting the week in a positive mindset or are you thinking, 'oh no, I wished I hadn't do that the weekend!'  Don't look back, your not going that way!  I enjoyed my weekend, a walk over the chase yesterday lunchtime helped to burn off a few of the extra calories I'd consumed from the Chinese takeaway and champagne I'd enjoyed.  The scales will say what they will say and I will continue to eat as healthy as I can when I can, I will take care of my body as well as I'm able whilst indulging a little too.

I'd put lots of goodies in my shopping basket for 'Christmas' this week because they were on offer, I've taken the out this morning, yes I will indulge over Christmas but I'm not putting temptation in the cupboards too soon because I know me, I'll be tempted to dip into them beforehand so I'll risk paying a little bit more for stuff and hell if they sell out, I won't die from not eating the stuff. 

This week I have a slow cooker chicken curry to cook and enjoy, the whole sachet is 280 calories. 

Add some chunky onions and chicken pieces and that's maybe a good meal for Tuesday or Thursday when I'm out at huddles morning and night. 

Yeah let's get our healthy on, they'll be plenty indulging in December so I'm all for making the rest of November cleaner and healthier, prepare our tummies! 

Now to make it through Monday, what to do first?  The house is a bit of a mess so I better start there, actually no, I'll start with planning this weeks huddles. 

Have a great day, 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

I want to have some fish this week and get my healthy truly on, I feel like I need a lighter week, things like chicken, fish, rice, potatoes, veggies, all good wholesome food.  I'm thinking an alcohol free week too, Monday - Friday anyways!  

 

Turkey feast for breakfast!

Saturday 6th November 2021

Life is short, time is fast.  No replay, no rewind so enjoy every moment as it comes. 

Yesterday was a lovely resting day, foodwise I cooked a roast pork dinner and that was all I ate, but I did consume a lovely bottle of red which put me in bed by 8 and fast asleep ten minutes later, so I've had my 8 hours 30 minutes this morning, full of energy I am.  

I murdered the pork joint though :(  the meat was delicious but the crackling was having none of it, which is probably a good thing because I'd only have eaten it! 

I've got a Christmas sandwich to look forward to this morning, my work wife is bringing me one from Boots together with a caramel macchiato, that'll keep me going till teatime easily. 

Looking forward to our huddle this morning, still time to put a dent in the scales, Christmas is 7 weeks today - woo hoooooooooo!

Here's to a great day and a wonderful weekend, think before you eat, remember you're in control, don't pretend you aren't!  It's okay to overeat as long as you own your behaviour! 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

It's a cold one this morning!

Friday 5th November 2021 
Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

I love the idea of NOvember, there are so many things we can say NO to that will help us be more heathy and happy, think about what comes to your mind as soon as you think about what you could say NO to?  We'd all come up with something different for sure, because we are all individuals, or maybe you need to start saying YES to something? 

We had a great day at the huddles yesterday, Elle and I got talking about our Christmas 'To Eat' list in-between members - oh dear that was a very, very dangerous conversation!  It's a good job we're not spending Christmas together, we'd end up the size of rather large elephants!  I do need to do a food list thought, niceness that's long life to take to Ireland with me, there's no M&S, Sainsbury's or the like where I'm going, there's a Lidl!  Not that I'm not used to that, mom and I always stayed in the middle of nowhere in Wales, so we ate what we had. 

I hadn't really thought about Christmas until yesterday when I watched the John Lewis 2021 Christmas ad and when I looked up Elle asked what I was watching because my face looked like a big kids!  

I really love Christmas, I try to ignore it every year but then it starts appearing and all the decorations start going up and the magic starts seeping into my brain and BOOM, I get that feeling that's like gold dust running through my veins and happiness pours out of me.  I love to buy gifts but I have to be careful here because I can go a little crazy, which is why I try to ignore Christmas lol, I like to see people happy and Christmas does that, I think the world becomes a little kinder and a whole light nicer around Christmas time.  I haven't really celebrated it for a few years now, I think the last time we had visitors has to be 4 years ago, I tried to make Christmas day special for mom by buying her daft gifts but damn it got harder every year because change made her Alzheimer's worse.   Anyway let's not focus on that, let's focus on making this Christmas lovely especially as everyone had a bit of a crappy one last year thanks to Covid! 

I wanna lose a few pounds if I can before then, so I can enjoy putting them back on :) I need twiglets in my stash, they scream Christmas for me, but what else do I need, comment on the blog and help me put together my Christmas Hamper to take with me xx 

Back to the now, I had a better eating day yesterday, skipped brekkie because I was running late, had a lovely latte at the huddle though, then for lunch I opted for soup, very nice leek and potato, it was on offer in Sainsbury's which is why I bought it, massive portion for 230 calories, next time, I'd use a bigger bowl!  No bread needed at all. 

When I got home I wasn't really hungry, but damn I had my 'I want to eat' head on after all the talk of food at the huddle, I impressed myself with my restraint, I opted for a flatbread (204 calories) I really like them I have to say and one was enough, again I only bought them because they were on offer but at £1.35 full price, I'd buy them again - tasty.  I had some deli coronation chicken which isn't the best I've had but the coronation chicken breast slices I bought to go with it was delicious, half the packet 107 calories. 

I did indulge in a couple of chocolate and some crisps at the meeting, I now need a crisp sarnie at some point!  

Right I've just spent half hour chatting with my sister on the doorstep (old habits die hard, I forget we can come in the house now lol, first it was dad who wouldn't have people in the house, then when mom got ill, it disturbed her!), time to get on with my day, pork dinner on the menu, nom nom.  

Have a fab Friday, I plan too, followed by a wonderful weekend.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

In a rush this morning...

Thursday 4th November 2021

Thinking happy thoughts.

Short one this morning as I'm running late cos I've just spent half hour on the phone and I'm still in my PJ's!  

I had a lovely day yesterday, I like Wednesday's I do, morning at the huddle with a bunch of amazing ladies, then I ran an errand, walked Alfie who was in the mood so that was a good thing.

I was then a very, lazy lady for the rest of the day, I'd been up since 4am so was a little tired anyway but I wanted to chill out, I'd done a bit of work on the old laptop then I put the tele on and settled down with Alfie to relax and watch tele.  

It was pointed out to me that I like to chill out and my response was 'hell yes I do, I've spent years going at 100mph and I don't want to do that anymore, I want to enjoy slowing down, reading my books, watching my tele, listening to my music - enjoying my life!   Don't get me wrong I absolutely love, love, love my work, but I also love my life too.  

Food wise, I've had more of an appetite this week, yesterday I made flatbread pizzas, they were delicious and very filling so ate the last half cold later on.  I had what was supposed to be mushroom and onion omelette for breakfast but the omelette collapsed so it was scrambled instead!  

  

Then about half six I microwaved a frozen jacket potato and put butter on it - oops!  Butter is 74 calories in 10g, trust me I had at least 4 times that, it melts and don't go far!  Thankfully all that butter has now left the building and I'm over my carb / fat fix!

MMm What to eat today?  Well I've got some coronation chicken which I think I'll have in one of the flatbreads (they're 204 calories each), add some spinach and cucumber = nice.  

I might have some soup too when I get home tonight rather than cook a meal because I'll probably have another early night, the tele in my bedroom is brilliant, I went to bed just after 7 and I was asleep before half past last night, if I'd stayed downstairs watching it, I'd have probably gone up at 9, so I've had extra sleep and I still slept till almost 6 so I've caught up on yesterdays sleep.

Right I need to go, I have to shower and dress or I'll scare the members :) 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Not 1 but 2 WOO HOO!

Wednesday 3rd November 2021

Listen to your inner voice.

Well I was a little chuffed yesterday morning to lose 2lb, that made up for the maintain last week, 22lb in total, still had what I fancied, just not everything on the menu!   Calories work better than anything I've tried because it's about creating that calorie deficit, so why add any more complications with zero  or free food when it's all got calories in?   A 150g chicken breast is 230 calories, it's not free, make it a dinner by adding veggies, peas, carrots and sprouts, that's another 110 calories, so already you've had 340 calories, oh and 250g potatoes, you can add 285 calories, so all of a sudden following other diet plans, you've consumed 625 calories, but they're all zero/free - really, seriously, that's more calories than a bottle of wine, a big macs only 508 calories!  Nothing is free, well water is, you can have too much of anything, even water - it's called drowning!  

I know personally when I was told things were zero, I hate more of them, that was when I followed WW but also back in the day before WW when I followed SW, my trolley was full of muller light yogurts and cooked chicken back then. 

These days I eat food I fancy in reasonable portion sizes which means my stomach is also adjusting to eating less so I don't need to eat a massive plate of food all the time.  Yesterday I enjoyed a delicious steak, mash and peas dinner, I ate it at lunchtime and I still wasn't hungry when it came to teatime, I didn't get back till after 7.30, so I indulged in a glass of wine and a bit of chocolate, I'd treated myself to one of these in my shopping delivery 230 calories, I surprised myself by only eating half of it.  I believe that's because I'm giving myself permission to eat anything I want.

 Yeah the scales are making me smile again these days, I've still got a way to go, I'd actually like to lose another 22lbs, but there ain't a rush, I've got my first Christmas in a long time to really enjoy, we talked about Christmas day briefly last night and decided it's a day for chilling in pj's, we had been invited elsewhere for the day but I don't think I'm up to that for Christmas day, another day absolutely but not my first Christmas without mom, I want to make new memories and this year that will be in the middle of nowhere in Ireland. 

That's 51 days away though, back to the now, I might have an omelette for breakfast this morning, I've got loads of time as I woke up a good 90 minutes before my alarm, old habits die hard don't they!  That'll keep me going for hours, bit of soup lunchtime, then mmmm I'm not sure, I have a cottage pie and a lasagne in the fridge but after steak yesterday I fancy something less dense, maybe fish in butter sauce with the leftover mash and some sprouts because I ended up buying two lots of sprouts somehow DOH. 

Your mission today should you choose to accept it is to ask yourself what will you do today that will help you get healthy, lose a little weight and feel this way when you next step on the scales?  

Let's do that thing and take care of ourselves!

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Will I get that 1lb loss today?

Tuesday 2nd November 2021

Love yourself instead of loving the idea of others loving you. 

I made the most of the dry weather yesterday, tried to walk Alfie but he wasn't up for much so we came home and I spent some time clearing up the garden, swept all the leaves off the decking out the back then filled the bin with cuttings from the bushes out the front, my clippers are crap but I'm not buying any more as the plan is to have them ripped out completely early next year to make the garden bigger and less hassle, I don't want plants out there at all, I don't have the time or the inclination to garden anymore. 

Next I defrosted the freezer - why?  Because some bright spark thought they were doing me a favour 'fixing' the door to the cupboard so they opened together, not realising that meant the freezer door didn't close fully so it had spent the night trying to make up for that gap and I had 2 inches of ice everywhere - deep sigh, they meant well! 

Once all that was finished, I had me a pamper session, body brushing, exfoliating, body lotion, the full works, then I put my fluffy pj's and settled down to watch a movie, really enjoyed it, Misbehaviour with Keira Knightley, very good.

Well I've just had a moment, my laptop screen went black and it wouldn't come back on!  Back in the day, I would have had a full on meltdown over that, today I shut the lid and walked away, went and got dressed for work and came back.  It still wouldn't work so I googled it on my phone and managed to reboot and it's working again now, but I think today I shall mostly be backing up my documents just in case!  

Back to yesterday I was in bed by 7 and asleep by half past, had a cracking nights sleep, I fell asleep watching tele - yep I've finally admitted defeat and had a tele in the bedroom, I like it, I don't have to put the heating on if I watch tele in bed so it makes sense lol.

What will the scales say today?  I'm one pound off my next certificate, I maintained last week so I really want that pound for my 21lb, fingers crossed!  As always not been perfect, just improved and so far that's working for me, living and losing and Elle and I like to say.  I tried that McDonalds double big mac, did give Alfie one of the burgers from it though, the strawberry milkshake too - oops!  

My day yesterday was a bacon and brie panini for breakfast, then when I defrosted the freezer I took out what I thought was curry and had that for my main meal, it was curry lol.  I was going to have Chinese pork chop and a jacket for tea but when it was cooked I didn't want it, I felt a bit sick which was why I decided to go to bed, I'm okay this morning so I was obviously just not hungry and the smell of the chops convinced my brain that more food was not a good idea :) 

Forecast is dry and cold, it looks lovely out there, I'm looking forward to our huddles, half terms over, 52 days to Christmas!  EEK!  Where has this year gone!  

Here's to making the most of today, I have a shop being delivered later, I've ordered the makings of a roast dinner, a couple of ready meals for convenience and fresh veggies, mmm butternut squash chips here I come. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

NoExcuses NoQuitting November

Monday 1st November 2021

New month, new day, new date, new chapter, new page, new wishes! Welcome November.

A new month starting on a Monday, I love that!  Oh and it's the last month of Autumn too, still time to turn over a new leaf if you've struggled this year with all things healthy!  

I'm hoping for a weight loss tomorrow, as always I've not been perfect but I'm better than before and I'm drinking a lot less red wine, had a very quiet weekend, lots of tv watched whilst resting up, we did indulge in a Double Big Mac yesterday and a strawberry milk shake, Alfie got a hamburger, he didn't eat the bun :) 

My washing machine no longer leaks but now the damn thing doesn't always turn on, there's some kind of power issue, one minute it'll turn on okay, the next it won't - why is nothing simple!  I've cleaned it all up too, it looks so much better than it did before.

This week the plan is, soup for lunch to get those veggies, I've bought some cereals so breakfast will be those most days, although I have one panini left which I'll have this morning, then if I do have any dinner, it'll be something light as I feel an early night coming on already because I've been up since 4am, as you do! 

Now the clocks have gone back and I'm not a fan of dark nights, it lowers peoples mood this time of year, so what can we do to keep us healthy and happy?  A multivitamin won't do you any harm, we get most of our Vitamin D from the sun so our intake decreases when the weather is colder since we spend most of our time indoors as I have this weekend, vitamin C is also good for the immune system, as it eating nutritious food (buy in season veggies) and drinking plenty of water.  

Autumn and Winter are natures way of telling us to slow down, so know it's okay to do just that, have some early nights, but at the same don't hibernate completely, make plans to do things, use some of your time to stay active, go for brisk warms, get some natural vitamin D.  You could also do some sorting and decluttering, you don't have to wait till spring to clean!

Take care of your skin, exfoliate and moisturise, it only takes minutes.  

It all sounds so easy doesn't it, but we get distracted, or poorly and all our good intentions go out the window, so remember to be gentle on yourself and do what you can, when you can. 

I'm going to get my work done this morning, so it's done out the way, I might take some chicken breast out the freezer and make a sweet and sour, that's easy to do, I have a jar in the cupboard!   Sorted!

Have a great day xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me