Is your mind bullying your body?

Monday 30th November 2020

Well it may only be around 3am, but I have managed 6 solid hours sleep - woo hoo, on this occassion it wasn't mom who woke me, she's still asleep upstairs, nice though having an hour or so to myself quietly.  Sleep is so important but I am functioning on less lately thankfully, I guess it's because being in lockdown, I'm not doing some of the things that would tire me, like loading and unloading my car.  

Last day of November, one more month of the year left, a life changing year for most of us isn't it, even those that have still gone to work as normally, things have still changed for them.  On the virtual zoom yesterday morning, one lady told us how she had been working from home and the nature of her work was making that extremely difficult as she had children at home, you just don't realise everyone has their own complications.  

After what was a wonderful zoom call, I had a Utility Warehouse call with a new partner who I'm supporting and she helped save a relative an incredible £936 a year!  That's crazy money, it's a holiday isn't it, she also got a sim card for her granddaughters tablet for Christmas in that!  She loved that not only had we saved her money, she was going to save hundreds of pounds more over the year by using the cashback card and she hasn't got to do anything as UW do all the switching and contacting the other suppliers.  

The rest of the day mom and I enjoyed watching The Christmas Chronicles 1 & 2 on Netflix, mom enjoyed the first one more, she got distracted when the second on started, but she had a pretty good day all round, she likes me being here, she loves Anne coming for an hour in the morning.  She's always better when we don't disrupt her evening.  

Listening to some members yesterday, it was evident it's all about what's going on in the mind, but I reminded them I've always been about being Healthy & Happy, looking at a few familiar faces, I could see those who were eating healthily were also looking happier, those that were struggling or that had fell off the weight loss wagon looked a little tired, so how about we do something about that!  If you're doing well, fantastic - keep going, if you're struggling, been having a tough time, let's make today the first day of change, let's start taking care of our mind as well as our body!  

Let's try a different approach, see if that helps ay?  There's nothing worse than being offered something delicious to eat and saying, 'oh I can't, I'm on a diet', or 'I'd love one but I'm so fat' or something along those lines, you might not be saying it out loud even, you might be thinking it!  These thoughts are strong, they take control and bring us down, they really do.  

How about instead we start saying things like, 'No thanks, I'm not hungry', 'I'm full thanks', or better still try 'I don't eat that!'  The brain is truly powerful, when I decided to become a vegan, for 8 years I just used to say, 'I don't eat that' and I wasn't questioned (well occassionally I was) but I didn't question myself either, I just made that decision!  Let's change the way we talk to ourselves and others about food.   

How about you stop thinking about how you're missing out on burgers, fries and cakes and instead start thinking about how you're missing out on high cholesterol, diabetes and sugar spikes, followed by mood and energy plummets!  If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! 

Yeah, let's stop letting our mind bully our body into emotionally eating, or stress eating, or pandemic eating, whichever reason it's doing it - let's put a stop to it on the last day of November, we've got Christmas coming and we will most likely over indulge, but let's enjoy doing it and do it for the right reasons, not because we're miserable or exhausted!

Let's use food more as fuel rather than therapy, still make it delicious of course but think of how to make it healthier too.  I'm not expecting you to become one of those that says and thinks, 'my body is a shrine' and never eats anything full of calories, but to do it with some balance and actually taste some of the so called 'naughty' food and actually realise it ain't all that!  I've had burger and chocolate this week and the tastiest thing I've eaten was Marlies veggie kofta, it was a little warm for me, I won't lie but the rice cooled it down.

Here's this weeks menu and you can find out more on her page, Marlie's Menu | Facebook I am going to point it all this morning for her so don't worry, I'll get it done asap. 

But for now I'm gonna go have me a cuppa and a bit of quiet time.  I've got a busy morning, 3 calls for UW, but first I'm going to do a healthy shop because my body would like to not have heartburn this week!

What you gonna do?

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Spinning plates?

Sunday 29th November 2020

Recharge yourself as much as you recharge your phone!

I tried to turn off yesterday, it's not easy at the moment, but I did manage it long enough to watch the movie Last Christmas, my head is so distracted right now, even when I was chatting with my friends on Zoom yesterday morning, I kept missing bits of the conversation because my thoughts went somewhere else, or I heard my mom downstairs trying to open the front door so my mind was there then.  I need to work at being in the now more, to stop trying to do everything at once, basically like my laptop - I have way too many taps open!  I need to close some tabs knowing I can reopen them when necessary, they don't need to stay open constantly.  

It's like spinning plates isn't it!  Do you feel like that, you're trying to spin all those plates in your life, I was talking to my bestie yesterday as she was driving home from work and she's working so hard right now (please stop ordering so much unnecessary crap online lol - she's a postie) that all she does is work, eat and sleep!  That's no life is it, but how many of us are doing the same! 

I found myself yesterday thinking, I need to get back to doing some meditation, but then I started thinking that's another bloody plate though isn't it - something else to 'have to do!'  So instead I didn't do anything, I just carried on letting my brain be busy, it doesn't even have to be stuff you have to do, it can be the stuff you want to do, so I'm sat there trying to do a jigsaw with mom thinking I've got to finish that crochet blanket whilst my brain was dancing with other thoughts so I wasn't in the moment at all.  

I don't need to add meditation to the equation, although I can if I want to, see want is a much better word than should which implies something that I feel I have to do rather than want to do.  I could just stop and take a few breathes instead, yep the next time you find yourself thinking, 'this is all just too much, I can't keep up', STOP, and take a few deep breathes.  Honest it automatially calms you a little - really?  Yeah, if you are thinking “this is too much”, your nervous system is in the sympathetic state which means that it is going into a flight or fight reaction.  This means: an increased heart rate and blood pressure; a slowing down of the digestive function; an increase of hormones flooding your system, amongst other things.  But when you purposefully focus on your breath, you stimulate your vagus nerve and activate your parasympathetic nervous system.  When the parasympathetic nervous system is stimulated, it is the perfect counter-balance and your heart rate and blood pressure can slow down and all the other systems of the body can begin to calm.  

Oh and you don't need to undestand any of that, all you need to know is if you stop, breathe and take a moment, consciously breathing in and out, not for very long, just a few breaths can be the perfect reset button and give you just a little space to make sure those plates spin in the right way again.  

Sounds good doesn't it?  I think so, but I've also realised it's time for me to check what's on those plates, whether all of them are necessary, if any of them can be removed or tweaked or if some of them have fallen already but really need putting back on the spinning stick.  

One plate that's not just fallen, I think it's probably smashed, is healthy eating, that's completely gone out of the window, my meals are irregular, not being thought through at all and not balanced either.  I need to get fish and vegetables back into my diet, I need to get my portion sizes back under control and I need to stop thinking, oh it's not important right now - it bloody is!  

So today, I will have my Marlies menu, vegetable koftas for my dinner and I'm going to have a cooked brunch, so lean bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms and eggs with a couple of slices of bread.  I won't need a third meal there, two are plenty.  I'm not hungry now so I'll have the first meal after I've done my virtual workshop this morning.  

I'm going to spend some time thinking about the other plates I'm spinning and see what can be done, some plates you might be spinning could be, health, relationships, friendships, jobs, home, kids, or any area of your life you find yourself thinking about all the time!  

It helps to acknowledge you're not the only one with this problem, hopefully one of those plates has got you and your needs on it, how are you feeling at the minute? Tired? Rundown? Overwhelmed? Short tempered?  Does your plate need attending before you bother with the others?  We all know self care is essential but we still ignore it sometimes, how can you change that?  How do we make healthy habits part of our routine?  This is my plan this afternoon, my dinner only needs warming up so I'm going to check my freezer and cupboards and do a plan for my meals for next week, I'm also going to do a plan to give the house a tidy through, starting with the living room because I can't even contemplate putting any decorations up unless I put it on top of the crap that's already there and that's not gonna happen ;) 

I'm gonna relax too though because that's important too, moms moods and behaviours dictates how and when I do things, but if I have a list of things I want to get done, I can then wait until the times good with mom and choose one thing off the list to get done.  Yeah I need a TO DO list to organise myself. 

Ooo writing this has made me feel better, we are in charge of our own destiny as uncomfortable as that might be sometimes to admit.

Here's to a great Sunday, I look forward to seeing some of you on my virtual workshop this morning 9-10, here's to spinning plates! 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Be a coffee bean!

Saturday 28th November 2020

It's not the load that weighs you down, it's how you carry it.

My mind is full of so much this morning, it was a very, very, long day yesterday, I've not had a lot of sleep and I just need to stop and take a breathe, so I thought I'd share another story with you instead of trying to put it all into words just now. 

Egg, carrot and coffee beans

A young woman struggling with life, went to her mother and told her how her life was just miserable and so hard for her.  She was tired of fighting and struggling with her problems and wanted to give up.

Her mother, without saying much, took the young lady to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water.  In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second one she placed eggs, and the last she placed some ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word to her daughter. The daughter wondered what her mother was trying to do while she was complaining about her life. After some time the mother turned down the burner, fished the carrots and the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee out into a cup.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Dear, tell me what do you see?”. “A carrot, egg and coffee.” she replied.

“Look closer and feel the carrots” said the mother.  The daughter noted that they were soft.  The mother then asked her to take an egg and break it. The interior of the egg was hard boiled. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face

The daughter then asked, “What does this mean, mother?”

All the three items, carrot, egg, and coffee went through the same situation, the boiling water . However, each reacted differently. The carrot was strong, hard, and unrelenting.  However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg was fragile with the thin outer shell and its liquid interior.  But after being in the boiling water, it hardened its interior.  The ground coffee beans were unique, as it came to the boiling water, it changed the water and gave its incredible aroma.

“What are you?” she asked the daughter.  “How do you respond in difficult situations?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Are you a carrot that seems strong at first, but becomes soft and loses strength in adversity?

Are you an egg that starts with a malleable heart, but hardens with the heat?  Did you have a fluid spirit, but as you struggled with problems, have you become hardened and stiff? Did the problem hardened your free spirit?

Or are you like coffee beans? The beans that change the hot water, the adversity, into an  aromatic drink. If you are like the coffee beans, when things are at their worst, you will get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are the greatest do you elevate to the next level?

Life is full of ups and down, but the only thing that truly matters is how we choose to react to situations around us and what we make out of it. Life is all about learning, adapting and converting all the struggles into something positive.

Remember folks, when it rains, it pours, maybe the art of life is to convert tough times to great experiences: we can choose to hate the rain or dance in it. Which would you rather do? 

Luv ya 

Mwah, love me! 

Reminiscing...

Friday 27th November 2020

It's not the hours you put in, it's what you put into those hours!

My lovely mom slept most of the day yesterday and she finally seemed content so I left her thinking if it meant I was kept awake all night so be it, but thankfully, I was allowed to sleep, only woke me once in the night, then about 5 this morning, I'll take that thank you very much! 

Tier 3 for me then, not that it'll make a lot of difference to our life, but I'm waiting to hear what it means for WW workshops, I will let my members know as soon as I do.  I just want to keep my mom as safe as possible until the vaccination is here, once we've both had that, I'll be happy to go out and do stuff! I haven't spent all these months indoors, to let the last month or so be the death of her!  Death comes to us all I know and to be honest mom's more than ready, she says it often, but not at the hands of Covid, it's a viscious, cruel painful and lonely way to leave this earth!

Anyway, let's change the subject to something more positive, my living rooms starting to look a little christmassy, I have a poinsettia from Angie and a little tree that my sister treated me too.  I also had my advent calender come yesterday, it's huge - open it fills half my window sill, I can't wait to start using it!  It's a crochet society calender, so I'll get my crojo back in December I feel, I'm thinking the first box might be a ball of wool to get me started on a Christmas project - how cool is that!

I had a box of chocolates come from UW yesterday to congralate me on reaching QD, the lockdown meant they'd been delayed but they still tasted amazing, especially as yesterday I'd helped a lovely lady named Lizzy achieve QD too, I love helping people don't I and this is another way to do it, supporting her on her calls, she did amazing yesterday too, did it all and smashed it, she's going to be great at it and help lots of people.  

Can you believe 16 years ago today, I was starting the weekend before I became a WW coach, I remember spending the weekend practising my meeting talk, thinking 'what will I wear', stressing out over whether I'd pass the 'exam' and they'd let me have the badge!  I was starting it as a hobby, planning to do the 2 minimum workshops a week required, one was going to be Essington where I'd gone to lose my weight with mom and my sister, the other one was going to be Bushbury community centre and I was excited, scared, apprehensive but determined and thankfully I passed and the rest as they say is history!  What started as a part time gig, by the June became something I wanted to do full time as I loved it so much and it'd made me realise my full time job was no longer what it had been but I was scared to make that leap, I had to pay the bills and I'd got a pension where I was!  

After a few weeks of battling with myself, taking advice from others and listening to my heart, I finally walked into the MD and handed my notice in, his response was just 'okay'!  Just a number, that's all I was, 11 years I'd worked there and it was over, just like that!  

I remember having debt so feeling I needed to stay doing what I was doing because the WW could only promise me a couple of meetings which wasn't going to cover the bills, but I took a leap of faith and it paid off, by the end of that year I was loving it and got up to 15 meetings!  

Don't be afraid of making changes, if you've lost your job this year, remember you have lots of transferable skills, you don't have to stay in the type of job you're in, you can learn new stuff too. Heck I wanted out of my last job because I hated having to stand up in from of people and do presentatations, yet that's what I do every day as a WW coach, I was terrified the first few times I did it, but it got easier.  

Here I am 16 years later with so many fond memories, having met such incredible people and thankful for being brave enough to say I'd had enough and making that leap of faith!  Everything is sortoutable!

27 days till Christmas, it's getting closer isn't it, obviously we'll be having a very quiet one, but it'll still be relaxing, I've got my delivery slot, just need to buy my normal weekly shop because I've won my dinner and a hamper of goodies, so won't need to spend any more ;) chuffed I am.

Well it's my day off, I've got one call to do, the nurse is coming from the dementia clinic to see mom, then I plan to chill after I've done that and have a relaxing day, maybe do some crochet, I need to finish this blanket I've been doing forever!  

Here's to a good day xx

Mwah, 

Luv me xx

 

There's always something to be thankful for!

Thursday 26th November 2020
Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud, the other saw stars.

I could start this blog by once again talking about how little sleep I've had, but the truth is how much sleep I've had isn't important, the turmoil my mom is experiencing, the fear and confusion she's going through is what matters.  She was really confused last night, woke up not knowing where she was, wanting to 'go home', asking where my sister was and this ws before midnight.  I tried to settle and calm her but half hour later I could hear her trying to open the front door so I came down again, she was in such a state, I stayed and comforted her, she told me she loved me as we put our foreheads together and had a cuddle.  I thought I'd settled her again but it wasn't happening, she was calling the police to come and save her and the 'little boy' upstais, and by 1am, I decided it would be easier to stay with her, so I made her a cup of tea and sat with her, she eventually started to snooze but I knew if she woke and I wasn't there she'd panic again so I lay and snoozzed on the settee that looks big enough for me, but isn't lol.  It's 6am now and she's asleep still.  Twitching and flinching, making noises, talking and shouting in her sleep, she doesn't even get any respite when she's asleep.  Okay so I haven't had much sleep, but I'm not in distress, I'm not going through the hell she is and if I can be here when she wakes to calm her a little, then a crap nights sleeps worth it.  

Here's a little story to make you think, with everything that's going on in the world, don't be one of those who's all 'me, me, me', think about how you can help others and make them happy. 

The Hospital Window: A Short Story (unknown author)

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band — he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you and make you smile.”

------

Making other happy, despite your own situation can bring incredible satisfaction, shared grief is half the sorry, but when happiness is shared, it's doubled.  If you want to feel rich, could all the things you have that money can't buy and remember today is a gift, that is why it's called the Present.

Today, pay attention to all that you have, go out of your way to make someone smile, realise that nothing if permanent.  Mom has an awful day yesterday from the moment she woke, she didn't know who I was, I had to call my sister round to reassure her, but later in the day we had a few glimmers of light.  I had to laugh when I did a call for Utility Warehouse to quote for a customer, I said something like, so your electricity usage is, followed by the figures and mom sat next to me piped up, and your gas usage..... she's obviously sat listening to me say these words so many times and something in there still works because she said the next time!  I won't stop trying to communicate with my old mom that's trapped in that dementia hell!  

Stay positive, focus on your goals, love your tribe hard and get stuff done!  It's Thanksgiving in America today and for many Thanksgiving is a day to spend time with family and friends. Thanksgiving Day is a celebration of the harvest, and a time to give thanks for blessings over the past year.  Now I know it would be easy to say, humph not a lot to be thankful for in 2020, but that's not true, we're surviving the worst pandemic, so look a little harder to find the things you're thankful for!  

9 years ago I was in New York with my besties, we'd done the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade which was something I'd wanted to do for years and had the most incredible holiday, I'm thankful that I got to do that. Okay so this year, it'll be a chicken dinner and I'll try and find the parade on the tv, I'm working most of today until 7 anyway!  

Here's to a good day xx 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Stronger. Wiser. Better.

Wednesday 25th November 2020

Have pride in how far you've come and have faith in how far you can go.

This year has changed so many peoples lives, major lives changes that can affect our mental health including loss and that can be the loss of loved ones, the loss of a job, loss of our freedom or way of life.  We're creatures of habit, so all this change hasn't been easy.  

However we can't use it as an excuse to give up!  We owe it to ourselves and those that haven't survived this year to take care of ourselves, to rebuild where necessary, to find a new job, to make the most of what we have and to look with positivity towards the future.  

Now I was listening to an audiobook yesterday, a chap called Jim Rohn, personal development stuff, by listening to this positive stuff, I'm being more positive!  Anyway one of the things he said which I liked was this;

Life is like the seasons that change, we go through our summers, autumns, winters and springs. you cannot change the seasons but you can change yourself. Learn how to handle the winters, they come right after fall with regularity. Some are long some are short, some are hard, some are easy but they always come right after fall, so remember it isn't going to change and deal with them.

Each of these seasons of life bring with them valuable lessons that we can use to help us move forward in a better way.  The winters won't change but you can and it's not what happens that matters, its what you do.

It's so true isn't it!  We can't change these things that are happening, crap things happen every year but we deal with them.  Instead of wishing for bad and difficult things not to happen, work at making yourself stronger to handle them.  Work at being stronger, learn so you are wiser and focus on being better. 

Stronger. Wiser. Better.

NOW is not the time to quit, now is the time to dig deep and focus on your future, if you've lost your job, don't be afraid to change the type of job you do, like the pic above says be brave enough to suck at something new, I'm well out of my comfort zone with this new thing I'm doing, I love my phone, but I rarely use it to actually ring people, I'm all about the facebook, the messenger but I've had to dig deep and ring people, at first it was intimidating, I've had to get used to the word NO, and not take offence and now I actually enjoy talking to people on the phone. 

It's not the time to quit you hear me, I know you may be tired, me too and you may want to give up but it's time to remind yourself of how many obstacles you've pushed through in the past and all you have as a result of not giving up.  

Life is a process isn't it, you're going to have the ups and downs - that is one thing I can guarantee, growth, success it's all a process, what isn't a process is quitting or settling, don't you want to be the best version of yourself?

Your best self doesn't want you to give up on it, I'm realising this myself, I'd settled to a life of taking care of mom and putting my life on hold believing I hadn't got a choice and there wasn't another option.  The truth is there's always options, there's always alternative ways, I was just choosing (yes choosing) to ignore them. 

Think for a minute of the time you haven't quit, the things you didn't give up on which resulted in you achieving things or getting something you wanted.   I didn't give up on learning to drive a car, I was really, really good at failing tests, but with persistance I got there in the end.  I didn't give up on making a good curry, it took me till a month or two ago before I made one I was proud of, hell I'm 50 and it's taken me that long!  

The thing about not giving up is you've got to really want the thing you're not giving up on?  Do you really want to be your best self?

How can you remind yourself of what you want?  I've got a goal at the minute and I've put it as my home screen on my phone so that every time I pick it up I see it and I'm reminded of it's importance.  

I'm going to cook a delicious roast chicken dinner today with lots of veggies.  Why?  Because I know that's really healthy, I also know that because I've got my Marlie's Menu coming at the weekend, it's unlikely I'll be wanting to cook then nor that I will need to as Marlies will be plenty to satisfy me.

I'm hoping you're not going to quit, that like me you plan to survive this Winter, knowing that Spring is in sight and when it gets here hopefully we'll be getting back to some kind of normal as a country too. 

Until then, let's just focus on the day ahead and how we can make it as healthy as possible.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Are you pointing the finger?

Tuesday 26th November 2020 

Be addicted to bettering yourself.

Well I made it through yesterday with very little sleep the night before, I've had about 6 hours last night so better and it was uninterrupted thankfully but she's as subtle as a sledge hammer with getting me to get up with her and not go back to bed, bless her.  She's quite alert this morning so maybe we'll have a better day.  She actually slept all morning till the nurse came at about 2 yesterday, she was completely exhausted. 

When you point the finger of blame there are three fingers pointing right back at you!

I'm reading a book at the minute and that line was in it, now I've heard and read a lot of self help stuff and quotes are my thing but I'd never heard this one before but I love it!  It's very clever for starters, but also very accurate.  We can all be quick to blame other people for things, some more than others, but we also have to realise that we have something to do with the outcome of most things that involve ourselves.

What are you holding yourself back from?  What aren't you doing because you have a whole list of excuses?  What are your goals?  

Thinking about your life right now, how would you like it to change?  

Thinking about your body, your health and wellbeing are you happy with it or would you like to improve it?  If so how about you set some goals?  You ready to do some thinking on a Tuesday morning?  I bet you're already thinking... Yeah but..... and coming up with all different ideas and reasons for why you can't achieve those goals at the minute!  Am I right?

Indulge me, write down one clear goal you'd like to achieve.

Now write down 4 reasons why you believe you can achieve it. (forget those doubts for a moment. 

Okay, hopefully you have come up with those reasons and you're not just thinking 'blah, blah, blah, I'll start next year!'  If you haven't maybe go back and do it, if you have, nows the bit you get to indulge those doubts, go on list those obstacles you need to overcome to accomplish this goal.   

So for example, 

goal

lose half stone.

4 reasons why you believe you can achieve it. 
I will achieve it because I know it will take the pressure off my knees, I'll be able to get back in my work clothes, I won't have heartburn as often because I'll be eating better and losing 5% of my body weight improves my overall health. 

Obstacles (this is the easy bit)

Christmas is on its way

Covid has turned my world upside down

Stuck in lockdown, nothing else to do

I've got sod it syndrome at the minute

I could go one but I know you'll be able to come up with plenty!

Once you've got all your obstacles written down, really go for it, write em all down, don't hold back, we're all allowed a pity party, so have yours writing that, 'oh my life is so hard, I'm so stressed, I just can't do this'.  You got it all out?  Right here's the bit that will help you get where you want to be - you ready?  

List the solutions to these obstacles!  Oh yeah, stop whinging - start working.  List what will help you including any people that might help, or even people you might want to be around (even if it's virtually), remember your vibe attracts your tribe.  If you're all 'oh I can't do this, it's so hard', you're gonna be like a magnet to others feeling the same and you might end up drowning each other in pity.  Whereas if you start hanging round with people who are motivated to achieving their goals whatever they may be, you're more likely to follow suit.  

So you should have your solutions, now make an action plan of what you need to do every day to achieve that goal you want.   Don't just read this and think about it, actually get a piece of paper, write it all down and sign in, write yourself a contract.

Change your attitude, change your world, remember your life is as good as your mindset  and the energy you put out is the energy you'll get back. 

I've been surrounding myself with positive people the last few months, people who are making me believe I can be successful, find my solutions and change my path.  It's made an incredible difference, I feel like I'm finding myself again, the old me, the ra ra, come on, we've got this version of me that got a little lost and all consumed in moms disease and our circumstances, which got worse when covid came along and lockdown happened.  

I'm taking things in my stride at the minute, don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, my wobbles but overall I feel so much more positive about the future but also about the NOW!  

Personally I've stopped pointing the finger of blame at Alzheimers, I'm acknowledging some of the blame lies with me and my attitude and behaviour and I'm working on making changes.  Will I lose half stone before Christmas?  If it's what I decide my goal is, but that was just an example for the blog.  Will I succeed at improving my life - HELL YEAH because that's my goal, I'm listing my obstacles and coming up with the solutions, I'm planning on smashing 2021, making it a hell of a lot better than 2020 on the whole was (that's not gonna be difficult though is it really!) 

Well that's me positive for the day ahead, how about you?  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

She's been talking in her sleep!

Monday 23rd November 2020

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.

2.44am, and I've been lying awake since mom woke me at midnight and I attempted to settle her and she slept a bit longer in a fashion but she was talking and shouting in her sleep, her brain never seems to stop poor love, she had a dreadful day yesterday, thought she'd been walking the streets with nothing on her feet, believing she'd been kidnapped and I'd hidden her shoes ;( what a horrible brain to be trapped inside!  We made it through though, I kept trying to distract her or reassure her and she's just said 'cracking cuppa Bev, am ya Bev?' so hopefully we'll have a better day.  

My day was still good, had a lovely catch up with WW members, then did a zoom training thing whilst sitting with mom, which wasn't the easiest because although I was on mute so they couldn't hear her, she was so loud at some points that I couldn't hear them!   But I made it through, managed to squeeze in a dog walk before doing a support call with a new UW partner to help her get to qualified distributor, she's done two now so one more to go.  

I was done and dusted by 3pm and the champagne in my fridge was opened not long after, as it's a bit dry for my taste, I mixed the first glass with a can of Fanta Zero Raspberry which is amazing by the way, I hope I can get more because I couldn't get any more of the pink grapefruit one again!  The second glass was mixed with fresh orange juice and enjoyed with the remainder of my tandoori wings.  

Thankfully I think we were in bed by 8pm so I've had almost 4 hours!  It's better than nothing and I don't have anywhere I need to be today, so it's all good.  

Looking for the good stuff does help, because I'm in a good place at the minute, I'm sorting my world out a little bit at a time, I'm surrounding myself with positive people, I'm focusing on the good things, I'm handling the tough stuff so much better!  

I've just been sorting my online shop and the positive from that is my wine is on offer reduced by £2, but it's also in the buy 6 get 25% off promotion again AND because I have my UW Customer Cashback Card I'll get 3% cashback on what I spend in Sainsbury's and that'll bring down my monthly bill as well - happy days!  I like having my wine rack topped up.  

Other positives, I've treated myself to a heron made from stained glass, a friend had started doing it as a hobby but now she's taking commissions isn't he gonna be a beaut, he's just waiting for his legs!  She's going to do me an owl next so they can stand on my bedroom window sill facing each other, the heron will remind me that I will one day be able to walk and be free again and the owl a reminder of all the wonderful people I've met over the last 16 years as a coach, here's her facebook page details https://www.facebook.com/lindasglasscrafts/ 

It's good isn't it, it's exactly what I asked for too, the colours are perfect, just like the ones I see when I walk the canal paths.  

Today, I'm hoping for some quiet, it's been a very busy weekend really so I'm gonna chill, read a book, watch a bit of tele and hopefully Alfie will be up for a good walk, he's not daft, he's still asleep upstairs where it's safe!  

Ooo what about food, I hadn't thought about what to eat today, mmm, I'll go check the cupboards and fridge out and see.  I've got to wash up, there's loads all piled up where I left it yesterday, couldn't be bothered to do it, hey ho, thankful for a kitchen with hot water ;) 

Right, it's now 3.20am lol, mom's talking in her snooze sat next to me, I'll gonna read my book.  Have a great day when you finally wake up!  

Ooo nearly forgot, this is Marlies menu for this week, get your orders in by Wednesday latest; 

The photo is the kofta's I fancy them!  Marlie's Menu | Facebook

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

What are you grateful for?

Sunday 22nd November 2020
Your vibe attracts your tribe - change your frequency!

Well let's not talk about lack of sleep and the second half of the day yesterday lol, but seriously I'm feeling more able to handle it at the moment because I've got so much positivity around me, so much support, a distraction in my new work, I feel like I've changed my frequency, my positivity has returned after being missing for a while, covid came, it affected my and my mood as it has so many but I haven't thought about it for ages, it's there, can't do anything about it, so I'm working round it and not giving it head space. 

Now food on the other hand, well that is worthy of head space and this was yesterday's ribs from marlies, I had my sauce separately, I don't even know why I asked for it that way, for some reason I couldn't remember the sauce and I was cautious to how much I liked it, I knew I liked the ribs so thought at least I'll eat the ribs if I'm not so keen on the sauce - I needn't have worried, it was immense, I poured the sauce over some leftover cauli and the rice.  Bloomin delicious.

 

 

I'm excited for my besties new venture,  see the image below, I'm definitely going to have me a consultation, my skin feels horrid at the minute, got spots coming out on my chin, I need help and I never know what to buy plus £20 is a bargain! If you're interested it's Victoria Lawrence on facebook. 

Now we're talking gratitude this week in WW Virtuals, I'll be on this morning in the Wolverhampton group.  Sometimes we over think the idea of gratitude, when asked to think of 3 good things each day, people can struggle because they over think, they look for the really big moments, where as it can be something as simple as the mug of tea I've just enjoyed.  

Just in case you could do with some prompts, here's a few questions to ask yourself when you're thinking of those 3 good things each day or maybe start a gratitude journal and start writing the things that your thankful, watch them build up and you'll realise there's plenty of good still happening despite the year we've all had; 

1) What was the best thing that happened today?

2) Who makes you feel loved and why?

3) Name somethign that makes you happy?

4) Name someone that helps you.

5) What's your favourite outdoor activity?

6) Name someone that is nice to you? 

7) What's your favourite thing to do at the weekend?

8) Name soemthing that you are grateful to have.

9) What is your favourite place to go?

10) What do you like ot do with your family and why?

11) Name someone that makes you smile.

12) Who is your best friend and why?

13) What do you like most about your job? (If you don't start looking for another!)

14) Who was the last person to give you something?

15) What's the best gift you've ever received?

16) What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? 

17) What's your favourite sport or game and why?
18) Name a person you love - why?

19) What's your favourite hobby - why?

20) Who do you like to spend time with.

There's just a few to get you started, but already I've been down here a couple of hours (awake a lot longer lol) and so far today I'm grateful for the mug of tea, the flowers that arrived unexpectedly yesterday that I'm looking at, realising my besties gonna sort my skin out for me, reading about 2 of my mates promotions in our Whatsapp group, having a messy living room - it's sure better than being homeless.  I could write more, but I need to feed, it's been 12 hours since I've had anything, thinking cheesy scrambled eggs, fancying a day of lighter food today.  

Here's to a day of being thankful, of noticing the good stuff and enjoying it.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Here's to a great weekend!

Saturday 21st November 2020 
Thoughts have energy, make sure yours are positive 

YAY, ten to three lol, yep, that's when she woke me up, on a positive I managed to get mom back to sleep but I just lay there unable to go back to sleep myself, it didn't help that I could hear an alarm outside coming from the car lot or the shops I think so it's now 5am and I'm sat in the quiet downstairs, just enjoyed a mug of tea, contemplating another, enjoying the calmness before my stay starts.

Yesterday was a crazy busy day for me, I spend a lot of it on the phone and it was amazing!  I helped a handful of people save lots of money and a couple decided to do it as a part time business also, just fabulous to be able to give some a way to earn money at such a difficult time.  I'm so relieved to know that I can pay my bills now with this part time job, whilst working from home, feeling blessed and thankful for sure. 

I was so hungry by the time I'd finished, my Marlies meal didn't touch the sides!  

Chicken Shashlick, really healthy and light meal which was just what my body needed to be honest, I've got the ribs today, they'll be amazing too because I've had them before. 

Well we're 33 days to Christmas and the only present I had bought, I gave it to her yesterday!  I couldn't resist, she was in such a lovely mood, I wanted to make her happy after the tough time she's been having lately, she could be in a completely different head place by Christmas!  I need to get one of those little Christmas trees they do every year, the real ones that are about a foot tall if that, I've just not got room for a proper tree but one of those and a poinsettia and Christmas will have arrived in the Longsden house. 

Busyish day again, got WW this morning, then some UW this afternoon, then I have a date with either some red or my bottle of Champagne, I'll probably end up mixing it with orange juice because I love a mimosa, I also love a bucks fizz but there's more orange and less champers in that combo lol.  Tbh I usually half and half it so I guess that'd be a bucksosa! 

Well do I have an hour watching The Mandalorian or read, oh it'll be read as I can hear mom moving about, she'll never be quiet and let me watch tele lol, I'll probably end up sorting her and playing a bit of candy crush now.  

Here's to enjoying the weekend, 11 days left of lockdown........

See you didn't even notice I'd gone then did ya!  Just sorted mom, she's sat next to me now with verbal diarrhea lol, yep she's woke up in a good mood thankfully, I enjoy the day times because by night time it can all change, she didn't know where she was living last night. 

Signing off till tomorrow, have a great day. xx

Mwah, 

Luv ya 

Love me xx

Oops, wrote it & forgot to post it!

Friday 20th November 2020

Don't wait - start!

Woke up this morning absolutely thrilled to realise I'd had 6 solid hours!  Yeah it was 4ish but who cares, I've slept and better still so has mom, she's still up there too, it's so wonderful to know she's not been scared in the night or distressed.  Especially as we had a good day yesterday too. Yes her legs not great but hey, it's being looked after, all is good. 

Smile moment number two, I've been paid from my new job!  I'm over the blinking moon, I'm not gonna lie. Last month I switched all my bills to UW, then I decided to join as a partner to work from home, part time and top up my income!  I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit suspicious - it all seemed a bit too good to be true, I remember asking the lady doing the appointment "how do I know this isn't all a load of bull and you're just trying to con me?" To which she assured me, her second job was with the police and they're not allowed to do anything even slightly dodgy lol. We've since become good buddies, she's one of my new favourite people!  Today I've been paid for the first time & I'm absolutely thrilled, it's more than covered my UW bills for the next 12 months!  I've got a bottle of bubbles which I won and I'm going to enjoy it later - or shall I have a glass for breakfast 😂 no I won't I have a few appointments today so need to stay sober, I'll have a glass later though to celebrate not being scared about how Im gonna survive financially for the immediate future!  I'm so grateful to have found this opportunity as I know so many are struggling right now, if you or someone you know might benefit from doing the same - give me a shout. 

So what's going to be my third smile moment this morning?  I'd love it to be moms leg looks better when the nurses come today, that's worth more than any money in the bank! 

I do believe my Marlie's menu food is coming today so that'll be another smile moment wings and champagne for tea, now that's living 😂

Back down to earth though, I've gotta change the beds this morning and do the laundry, yep it's not all fun and games, but if I can continue earning, maybe I can afford to get me a cleaner, that would be amazing! 

After a really tough six months, things are starting to look brighter and I'm so pleased. I really believe connecting with others is helping to lift my energy levels so here's to staying in touch and making the effort to catch up. 

Here's to a fab Friday 😘 let's make it an awesome one. 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me

Don't believe everything you think!

Thursday 19th November 2020

The only way out is through!

The mind is a powerful thing for sure, make you're aware of some of the thoughts you're allowing it to have!  Our subconscious is a crazy powerful thing, it makes decisions and tells us things and we don't even realise it's doing it.  Think about it for a minute how many times have you got up in a morning and through right, I'm back on it, I absolutely need to eat healthy and lose some weight, I also need to get some exercise and cut down on my drinking?  Then your subconscious kicks in at some point, whispering to you, 'ah you look alright!', 'you could just have one...', 'we could start again tomorrow, what's one more day', 'you don't have time to go for a walk today', 'it's too much effort to change into your exercise gear', 'it's 2020 everybodies drinking!'.

Now I don't know how accurate that fact is but I'd say it probably isn't far off!  But it's fascinating isn't it, so maybe just start to be a little more aware of your thoughts, whether conscious or subconscious, start questioning your thoughts - oh and not everybody isn't drinking in 2020 lol.  I was talking to a lovely lady yesterday who hasn't really drunk whilst in lockdown so that blown that belief out of the water! 

I'm making a conscious effort to pay attention to my thoughts and to challenge them, it's easy for me to assume I'm going to be tired when I've had broken sleep, so when mom first woke me up at 10.36pm last night, I could've easily have believed that meant I was going to have a dreadful night, especially when she then woke me up again a couple more times, but instead I'm trying to say to myself, it's okay we'd already had an hours sleeps before she woke me up and I'll have a few more hours, thinking 'I will go back to sleep easily' as opposed to 'I'm never gonna get back to sleep now', well I'm more likely to get some rest, because I'm more relaxed.  Yeah it all makes a difference. 

We didn't have a bad day yesterday, mom got a little confused towards the evening, but I was able to bring her round, her pain doesn't seem as bad as it has been but it's still bad, she's sleeping now.

Just for today, pay attention to your thought because you believe everything you think!  

I think I need to get a wriggle on, I'm on zoom this morning lol, I had a very good day yesterday, chatting to wonderful people, I'm contemplating working my way through my A-Z phone contacts just to say hello!  I said to one lady I was chatting to, 'it was good to have an excuse to call', we shouldn't need an excuse to call someone should you!  

Here's to communicating more and thinking less!  You in?

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Support local businesses!

Wednesday 18th November 2020

There is no angry way to say bubbles.

I've just had a lovely giggle with mom, she's had a better night than the night before, still waking but only two or three times rather than every hour, we had another visit from a nurse yesterday, they're trying really hard to make her comfortable.  I also had a call from mom's dementia nurse and she's going to talk to moms consultant about her sleep issue, then visit us a week on Friday.   She's snoozing now bless her hear. 

Oh I had cod in butter sauce with mash and peas for tea last night, it was blooming delicious, if a little small, not gonna lie I had two of them but at 6SP for both, it's all good.  Enjoyed some cold toast too, it's the simple things in life for sure that make me smile. 

Not sure what's on my menu today, but I have a cauliflower that needs using.  Oh I do know, I want a slow cooker chicken on sage and onion stuffing,nom nom, I could have some cauli with that and maybe make a cauliflower cheese with the other half or some cauli rice.  

I'm making a conscious effort to reconnect with people, I'm really aware of since covid my interaction with others has got less and less and to be honest because of moms illness it was already limited, so I'm messaging people I haven't spoken to in a long time, picking up the phone for a chat and checking in with old friends.  I can honestly say I feel so much better than I have been feeling, we really are social creatures and need to connect.  

I was chatting to Rachel yesterday, she's not well at the moment, her condition has meant that she had to stop working in the successful business https://www.valetforce.co.uk/ she's built up with her husband, he's doing it without her now, but she still wanted to feel the worth of providing for her family, so they started to make hand made luxury car sprays for their customers cars, she's now taken it further and is hand making perfumes, car fresheners, carpet fresheners, eco friendly spray mists and reed diffusers from scratch - how clever is that!  She's do it all herself, leaflets, website, everything - absolutely brilliant. Luxe Handmade

https://www.facebook.com/luxehandmadescents

I think this year more than ever, we've realised we need to support each other, local business aren't only your local shops, instead of jumping on Amazon, ask yourself is there someone local who could supply this, as on Facebook for recommendations.  The best business work this way, through recommendations, it's how UW who I know work for part time get all their customers, they don't advertise so they can pass those savings on to the customer. 

I know we're in lockdown but make an effort to stay connected, it'll help the time go faster for sure.  

My plan for the day is to try and distract mom when she's awake so she forgets quite how much pain she's in a little, look forward to walking Alfie and to catching up with some more people, oh and ordering myself something that smells good. 

Hope you have a good one too. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me