JUST DO IT JUNE!

Sunday 31st May 2020
To succeed we must first believe that we can.

Last day of May, where did that month go ay!  I'm going to enjoy this last day then starting tomorrow, I'm going to do my very best to stay on track and lose some weight.  Yesterday was a really good day with mom, she was good 90% of the day thankfully, it would be amazing if she could be like that for the whole of June but I know that's not likely so I'm going to do what I can.  

I've already had my water and fruit, walked the dog and done my yoga, not bad to say it's only 7.30am on a Sunday morning.  Mornings are best for me, mom's at her best so I can get away with doing more without her sulking, although if he doesn't fall off to sleep it can all go tits up so actually, there is no rhyme or reason to the disease and I can't rely on anything being easy.  But as the quote above says, don't be afraid to start over, and I have more experience with her now and I need to stop using her as an excuse to eat.  I just stumbled across a post from 2018 on Facebook, I'm a stone heavier than I was then, so yep I've gained a stone in two years, but I also gained another stone since 2012, so really I can't keep doing that, 2 stone on in 8 years, mmm, I need to halt that don't I, although on a positive, I've maintained at this weight for 12 months so a tweak a week and hopefully I can turn the tide. 

Oh dear, I'm sitting hear and typing but I can feel me doubting myself!  I don't usually do that, I usually believe I can do it even if I don't do it, but these last few months watching myself lose and gain the same 4lb is making me overthink it!  That's why I'm so glad for the workshop this week, I'm on at 10 with Amy so I'll let her motivate me ready to start tomorrow.  The technique we're covering this week is; 

Take charge of unhelpful thoughts

I think actually putting the workshop together yesterday has made me realise I have been having these unhelpful thoughts myself and that's why I'm sat here with doubts  but I intend to practice what I preach this week and use the techniques I'll be sharing with members on how to respond to those unhelpful thoughts.  

I can do this, I have done it before, I've lived through stressful situations before and handled them and lost weight at the same time so I will do it again.  I've got this! 

Who's with me, who's up for making June the month we get our act together and actually follow the plan properly, there are not magic formulas, no lotions, potions or tablets, you've got to JUST DO IT haven't you and that's what I plan to do (see I went to change that to hope to do because of that doubt, those unhelpful thoughts, I'm going to be paying much more attention to my thoughts this week for sure and start to question them. 

Anyway I need to get a wriggle on if I'm going to be ready for my virtual workshop this morning, I want some breakfast, it'll probably be eggs as I'm trying to get tablets in Alfie, he is not playing the game at all, he spat the same tablet out 4 times yesterday, too bloody clever for his own good! 

mwah, luv ya, 

Love me x

cue - behaviour - the reward

Saturday 30th May 2020
Do one thing every day that makes you happy.

We're talking about turning behaviours into habits using the habit loop in WW virtual workshops this week (I'm on at 9.45 in Wolverhampton group if you haven't been on one yet) and the behaviour I want to turn into a habit is eating fruit, I've just eaten this bowl full - 2 satsumas, 1 pear, 2 small apples, I've decided getting the fruit out of the way first thing is the way forward, before I clean my teeth and also by cutting it up (thanks for the tip on virtual) makes it easier to eat.  

  

I'm a big fan of eating the frog first, it's from a book by Brian Tracey and a training technique WW taught us once.  There's an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is eat a live frog, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you're done with the worst thing you'll have to do all day. In the normal world eating a frog is a metaphor for tackling your most challenging task - but also the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life. Okay I know eating fruit might not have the greatest positive impact on my life of everything I could do but it's a start, it's the first step on my journey back to taking better care of myself.  If I plan to do things first thing in the morning when I'm at my best, they're more likely to get done.  I've proved this, take the pint of water that I drink every morning now, I've been doing that for a long time now, if we look at that habit look we're talking about in workshops

The cue to drink my water is the glass with the straw, it's always either by the side of my bed or on my desk, initially it lived on my desk, so in a morning when I turned my computer on, I'd see the glass and fill it up with water, I'd agreed with myself I would drink a pint of water before allowing myself a cup of tea.  The behaviour was obviously drinking the water.  The reward was the big mug of tea afterwards.  The long term reward that wasn't so obvious initially is that I'm hydrated.  It's become so much of a habit that I now fill the glass up at night too and take it to bed with me, some nights I drink a pint through the night, I have a sip when I wake up and if I've had a true menopausal hot flush night, I'm thirsty and glad it's there.

Yoga was the last behaviour I decided to start building into a habit, I wanted to make it a regular thing, initially I'd planned a few times a week but I've managed to do it every morning for the past 6 weeks. The cue is my yoga mat on the floor beside my bed, initially I'd roll the mat up because I was doing it in the kitchen or living room but that wasn't helping me make it a habit as it wasn't easy, see the thing is the easier a behaviour is to do, the more likely it is to become a habit (oh that's good or bad habits too remember!). Also the more you do a behaviour, the easier it gets, but no behaviour happens without a cue, so the yoga mat on my bedroom floor is the first thing I tread on when I get out of bed, it's not actually the first thing I do but it reminds me, you're coming back here when you've been to the toilet and sorted mom!  Yoga is obviously the behaviour and the reward for me was at first the satisfaction of knowing I was actually doing something I said I was going to do and sticking to it, also proving to myself if I try I can find the time and a way to do some things that are important to me despite my situation.  Now it's also that the yoga is making me feel flexible again not just in my body but in my mind, it's helping to calm my mood at times and I enjoy it most of the time.

And yeah now to work on the fruit, oh and I don't plan to eat 4 or 5 pieces a day either, I just fancied all that this morning, some days it may just be one apple and that's okay, the important thing is to make it a habit and to try and have a variety.  The cue is having the bowl of fruit on the side in the kitchen by the kettle which I know I'm going to use in a morning (as soon as I've drunk the water!), the behaviour eating it, the reward, well initially because I'm just a big kid really, it's the 'yeah check me out, I'm eating fruit' feeling I get when I've done it, I actually give myself a clap because I'm a little bit proud of myself for doing it, for trying to improve my healthy eating habits.

What habits have you built, or would you like too?  

The thing with bad habits is they are like comfy beds really easy to get into and really hard to get out of and I've realised some of my bad habits are slipping back into place, so I had got to a point where I was having a fruit or vegetable at every meal time, I haven't been bothering with that the last few weeks!  Slipped back into my old ways and it's got to stop!

Now something I heard on a virtual yesterday (I was gutted I had to log out early because mom was kicking off) was 'pick a day and start' and it was like a sign, because I'd only said yesterday on this blog how Monday is the first of the month and I do love a reset on a Monday and with it being the first of June well it's a sign.  Monday June 1st is the day I pick and plan to start.  I've got some treat meals in the fridge that I plan to eat this weekend, it was a meal deal thing and I'm not wasting it.

Oh you will be proud of me though, well I was of myself, another clapping myself moment if I do say so myself.  I'd bought chicken Kievs (11SP each, what was I thinking!) but there's 2 in a pack and mom didn't want one, now usually I'd cook them both, but instead I cut the label off the packet and wrapped it up and managed to squeeze it in the freezer, did the same with the spare muffins so I don't feel I have to eat one a day if I don't fancy one.  Yeah I had a little realisation yesterday that this is what I need to start doing, split the packs and freeze the other half and actually start eating the food in the damn freezer!

I've spent the last few days sorting my finances and if I actually eat the food I've got I could probably pull back the cost of Alfie's vet bill over the month!  I rang Sky yesterday to cancel stuff too, I thought I can live without box sets and movies and our call plan we rarely use the phone mom uses it for emergencies.  Well the chap was brilliant, He saved me £40 a month!  The 02 man called me the day before to try and sell me a new phone but I didn't need one so he actually said well change your call plan cos you're paying to much and he almost halved that for me!  BONUS, it really is worth checking.  The only thing I haven't changed yet is my gas/electric supplier, I've never changed and really dubious to do so, oh and I'm not on a water metre which could possibly save me some money too, but we ain't had any bloody water for two nights anyway lol.  It's really made me appreciate what we do get and think it's worth every penny!  I'm quite frugal with our usage, I do water my hanging baskets but use a watering can, I have taps upstairs on the sink that turn themselves off - that was because mom flooded the bathroom when she forgot to turn them off once.

Anyway, I'm waffling now, I can hear mom moving about downstairs so I'll go make her a cuppa, I can clean my teeth now I've eaten my fruit too.  I've got a busy morning, on virtual workshop from 9.15 - 10.15, then I need to decide whether to do my stock take today and get it done, or do it in the morning, mmm decisions, decisions.....

mwah, luv ya, have a great weekend

Love me xx

Last weekend of May!

Friday 29th May 2020
Making mistakes is better than faking perfections.

Be proud of how hard you are trying.

The week may not have gone as well as you'd hoped or planned, hell the month possibly didn't but it's okay, there's always another day, another week and on Monday another month!  Well what can I say, anyone who knows me knows I love a fresh start on a Monday but a Monday that's also the first of a month, well it's a sign isn't it, what do ya reckon?   And here's a tracking calendar for you to save to your phone to help get you motivated, I think I'm actually going to print a copy out and stick it in the kitchen somewhere and use it to tick off every day I manage to eat a piece of fruit, again anyone who knows me knows fruit isn't my thing, but we've been talking about turning a behaviour into a habit this week on the virtual workshops and eating fruit regularly is the habit I want to work on!

I know I need to get back to it, I've eased off the last week or so and it needs to stop, especially as the lockdown rules are changing and I'll hopefully be getting back to 'outside' work soon, I need to make sure my work clothes still fit me!

Yeah let's make June our turnaround month, I've spent the last few days looking at my finances, so I'll spend the next few days looking at my health, I'm going to have a cheaper, healthier month, shop more sensibly not as if the worlds going to end and I may never get to eat another crispy sweet and sour chicken again! Someone mentioned beans on toast yesterday and I thought mmm I could just eat that, but I couldn't because I've got a fridge full of food that has use by dates, so next week, I won't put that sort of stuff in my shop basket, I'll work on eating what I have and cheaper simple stuff like beans on toast and jacket spuds.  Need to go back to basics, make a list of meals I enjoy. make my healthy eating a priority, eat regularly and healthily!  

Alfie's vet bill set me back a couple hundred, but on a positive, he hasn't go cancer or anything like that, they're not 100% sure what he has, but it could be parasites, he's been given lots of tablets so hopefully they'll kill anything nasty.  

The WW app is getting better every week!  We've got a new yoga zoom class today at 12.30 on the Healthy Body, Healthy Mind connect group, I've already done my yoga this morning but if you haven't go and join Lucy.

If you like a bit of cooking, there's also this, they're making Raspberry & Coconut Slices in the Experiences at Home connect group, another zoom experience.

Ingredients you will need 

130g low-fat spread, plus
extra for greasing
200g plain flour
60g caster sugar
50g porridge oats
40g desiccated coconut
Pinch of salt
250g raspberries

I've had these and they're delicious!  

Anyways, I'm off to walk Alfie, then I'm going to have some time focusing on me and my kitchen, getting ready for June!  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

What is motivating you to be healthy today?

Thursday 28th May 2020 
The struggle is part of the journey.  Everyone goes through it, keep going & don't give up.

There's no right way to 'do' a Pandemic!  We've not had any kind of training for handling lockdown, heck I don't think I'd heard the word pandemic or unprecidented before March!  This Covid-19 has ripped lives apart and completely changed everything.  So if you're struggling with your weight loss journey and feel like you've lost your way a little bit - erm, give yourself a break, are you surprised!  We're thinking questions like, when will I be able to hug my friends and family, will I even have a job at the end of this, at least we've moved on from am I going to be able to buy toilet rolls ever again! 
You might be thinking when are my kids going back to school, do I feel okay about then going to school.  Our brains are running all the time, even when we think they aren't we're subconsciously processing all this stuff. 

Then there's the added pressure of spending your time in lockdown productively!  Erm maybe you don't want, maybe you can barely focus on functioning at the moment with all the thoughts in yours head, let alone thing about doing new stuff.  Yeah it's great to have things you want to do, set goals but if all you can manage right now is the day to day living stuff, that's all right, then that's absolutely fine.

Now I know a lot of my members want to get back on track, having not tracked for weeks but they feel their head just hasn't been in it and they're finding it hard to refocus.  The struggle is real, if it was easy we wouldn't have a weight problem to start with!  So what can we do? 

Well of course I'm a WW coach so I'm going to say start with attending a virtual workshop, but even if I wasn't I'd still say the same, there is nothing more supportive and motivating than being in the company of others who get you with a coach who's there to help you.  

Next get your WW app out, rejoin if you've let your membership lapse, the app is like having your coach in your pocket with all the members too, a workout directory, recipes, tracking, meditation, oh there's so much going on in there right now and there's some great offers going on too.  Remember too opt for workshop and digital (£3.53 a week using the online offer) to be able to access the virtual and also the coach, because not workshop option means no me and I wouldn't want that, I like this job!

Right let's have a little coaching session this morning to refocus you!  Normally I'd say what is your Why?  But instead let me ask you this; 

What is motivating you to be healthy today?

I much prefer this question to the WHY one, because this is about NOW, why did you wake up this morning thinking 'oh I so need to get back on track!' why made you have that thought?

This is a question you could ask yourself every morning when you wake up as you're brushing your teeth, write it on a post-it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror.

Notice over time how the answer to the question will change, on a day to day basis even.  Every morning we need to renew our commitment to our goal because it's far to easy to write our why on a piece of paper the day we join then put it to one side. 

Are you interested in short term fixes or long term changes? 

There isn't a wrong answer here, you might just want to lose the half stone you've gained in lockdown so far, or all this pandemic business may have made you realise you want to be in better health for your future.

Now what's one thing you're feeling good about right now? 

Come on I know you might be struggling with your weight but it's not all bad, what's working well right now in your life?  

Erm I just asked you a question, don't just shrug it off, think about it, I'm not going to give you any suggestions because you'll say to yourself, 'oh yeah, that'll do'.  Really think, there's always good if you look.

Now finally, how much are you willing to work towards being healthy, to achieving those goals ou have in your head.  Are you all in?  Be honest, can you commit to being 100% on it, or are you thinking oh I want to but....

We can all sit here and read my blog and nod, but losing weight takes time, being healthy takes effort, are you willing to do the work, it'll challenge you and won't be a simple journey.  As this image shows, success isn't a straight line! 

Another post-it note question to stick maybe in your fridge would be how much are you willing to work towards being healthy, and don't just read it, answer it!

Now I know we're all having a tough time because of this Covid crap and you might be feeling discouraged, everyone has down times in their lives, we're all just sharing this one!  It's important to be realistic if you truly want to get healthy and ask yourself what do you do when times get tough and you feel discouraged?  Start noticing your behaviours, your patterns, don't stick your head in the sand.  

As Adriene said on my yoga session this morning, where attention goes, energy flows.  Be aware of what's getting your attention! 

Here's to a healthier day 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Let's be Wednesday wonders shall we?

Wednesday 27th May 2020 

The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise & diet

Well we've had quite the morning already, mom's had a couple of anxiety attacks, first one I was there, second one I was walking Alfie but thankfully she called my sister and she came round.   Yesterday was a mixed bag too, started off fabulously with a brilliant workshop, enjoyed it so much, then I spent a couple of hours giving moms bedroom a really deep clean, I even hoovered the walls and ceiling, moved the bed, cleaned the windows the lot, my body wasn't happy later but I'm no longer ashamed of her  room lol, yes it needs decorating and a new carpet but at least it's clean now.  After my shopping came and I sorted everyone's shopping out, shopped for 4 people yesterday, it's good to share slots, I had a phone call and the combination of that and me having been upstairs for so long sent mom off on one!  So we had a very uncomfortable few hours but eventually she came round and we had an early night.  

I did finish my latest crochet project and thanks to Angie it was delivered safely and phew, thankfully she liked it as she didn't know what colours etc I'd be using.  

It's really important for me to look back and realise when she is bad, not to think it's the entire day, I'd had a fab morning and for a change I'd enjoyed doing the housework, there's a lot of stuff going on in the world at the moment, so much uncertainty over jobs and what the future is going to look like for all of us.  I'm trying to not think too much about it, I will deal with what's going to happen as it happens, rather than worrying about what I don't know yet.  The main thing is we have our health at the moment and I'll focus on that and trying to improve it as much as I can.  

To do that again today I'm going for a walk at 9 with V, my sister is going to come sit with mom and this isn't only helping my physical health but also my mental health because I'm having some respite from mom. 

My kitchen looks like a bombs been dropped but after doing moms room I only managed to wash up yesterday, hopefully I'll be more inclined later to have a go at it, if not it'll wait until I'm in the mood.  I washed moms curtains yesterday even though it said dry clean only and I was so pleased that they were okay, then a bloody bird pooped on them!  Cheeky beggar, I rarely dry stuff on the line as my house is usually so hot I can use airers so I was a bit miffed!  

I've had my new crochet subscription box delivered its 4 times bigger than usual so I have 8 balls of pastels to decide what to do with, they did supply a pattern but I'm not so keen on that one so I've started something else, I'm still unsure if it's working but I'll keep going for a bit longer before deciding.

Anyway, I need another cuppa, guilty of not having my water yet, mom's turn this morning has thrown me off a bit, but I've done my yoga and walked Alfie, all's good in my world right at this minute.  I'm focusing on one minute at a time, and when those minutes aren't going great I'm reminding myself this time won't last.

Have a great day, I'll see some of you later on the Wolverhampton connect group for the 5.30 virtual workshop, link on WW app. 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Already started the housework!

Tuesday 26th May 2020 

Good decisions come from experience.  Experience comes from making bad decision. 

Well it appears I have two new women in my life and I like them a lot, who knew I'd have feelings for a Hettie!  I've just done the living room with her and she's good, better than my old Henry that broke, he was obviously old and past it as his sucking power just wasn't what it once was, she's lighter too as it's the smaller version.  I even read the instructions and now understand everything that she does and how she holds her own tools on her back, clever little thing. 

I plan to do the rest of the house later, especially moms bedroom - it sooooo needs it! 

The other women is this lady on the WW app, under the FitOn workouts,  

 I did this after my yoga with Adrienne, thanks to the lovely Alfie for not interrupting today as I enjoyed half hour of practice.  I'm all ready for my day now, feeling calm and zen like ;)

Mom's good this morning too, another good day with her yesterday, no major blow ups thankfully, we watched Top Gun which she half slept through and woke up at the end to say that was good, then we watched About a Boy which she did stay awake for and mostly enjoyed. 

I had a wonderful couple of hours with V, we did 5.5 miles locally and I thought I'd found all the local paths but as we were walking through one field we spotted a boy with a dog walking through the field opposite and when we got there it was obvious that there was a well worn path through the field (I'd never walk through the middle of a farmers field otherwise, its disrespectful!) It's one of my absolutely favourite things to do, walk a path I've never walked before, I get a little rush, even if I know where it goes, I feel like it's new and exciting to tread where you haven't before, it's got me in a lot of trouble in the past, because I've said 'just a bit further' for too long and we've ended up miles away from anywhere!  

I've just had a flashback to a hike mom and I did in Scotland, we had a map (sort of) unfortunately the map ended before our journey did and I'm not the best map reader, so we walked and walked and followed this map that took us to the top of quite a big hill, thing was when we got to the top it didn't continue down the other side but we didn't have any more map lol, we had to backtrack our route, we were out so many hours, for an old bird she was always so fit, I bet we walked 10 hours that day with Casey who was our dog back then, we were exhausted when we got back, I'm sure we were staying round Glen Coe somewhere, oh good times.  

Well I'm looking forward to my day, I've got my virtual workshop at 8.30 to look forward too, if you're joining us, use the meeting code in the Wolverhampton group and come in directly via zoom as there seems to have been some issues yesterday with zoom.  

Then I'm going to be a domestic goddess for a few hours, until my pay day shopping arrives, treat time, I'll then sort all that out as I've got shopping coming for 4 of us, it's good to share the slot.  Then I'll spend the rest of the day with mom and finish the blanket I'm doing for an old friend, I do hope she likes the colours, I'm personally not usually a purple fan but I felt myself drawn to those colours, then as I was working with them I was thinking about her and realised there was a reason I was drawn to those colours, Sarah had an accident 2 years ago this June and had a brain haemorrhage, she's also one of the smartest people I know, and if you look into Chakra's purple (violet / indigo) colours are connected to the brain and spiritual connection to the universe when balanced, clear thinking, so hopefully this blanket will work with her upper chakras when she sits on it.

Anyway, I'm ready for the day ahead, we'll be having scrambled eggs for breakfast again as it appears to be Alfie's new favourite food, although I only have 2 eggs until my delivery comes so mmm, I think Alfie will be having eggs, I better see what I can have, maybe banana on toast with a bit of peanut butter, mmmm yeah.

Here's to a great day, suns shining, everyone here is calm right now - that's my favourite way to be.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

What a difference a day makes

Monday 25th May 2020
Bad habits are like comfy beds, really easy to get into & really hard to get out of!

Ive just had a wonderful 90 minutes with Alfie, I was woken at 4am by a noise I didn't recognise but it was loud turned out to be a new kind of snore coming from the dog himself!  I slumbered for almost an hour then decided I'd get up because then I'd sleep better tonight.  Mom was in bed so I thought brill, I'll get my yoga done before she wakes - erm not quite!  Alfie had other ideas, he woke up in little tinker mood, no sooner was I on the mat than he was joining me in a very playful mood, rolling underneath me, licking my face, at one point he even hit my laptop with his paw and it rewinded to the point where he'd started playing up, which made me laugh out loud!  I gave him when he started barking at me and decided to walk him first and try yoga second.  A lovely bit of fresh air, we didn't go far but he was happy, he lay by the side of my mat as I finally did my yoga.  

Mom's woke in a good mood too which is always a bonus!  We made it through yesterday without too much drama too thankfully, it did mean me giving her 100% of my attention and constantly being aware of when she was about to turn, but in the long run it was worth it.  I let her watch her without a trace for a few hours (I've honestly seen them so many times and we always seem to end up on the same two seasons) then we started a couple of films and gave up after 5 minutes before settling on An Officer and a Gentlemen and Notting Hill, both she mostly talked all the way through but as I'd seen them before it wasn't a problem and thankfully at the end she said "I really enjoyed that', bless her she only cares about the last 10 minutes and as long as that bits good, it's a winner.  Oh then there was BGT that went down well too. 

I did get a couple of hours in my office on the morning, really enjoyed supporting Amy on the virtual workshop, felt a bit like a member answering her questions in my head and occasionally out loud as I'm not good at being quiet!  It was great to see so many faces on a Sunday morning!   This week we're talking about turning a behaviour into a habit, I've decided the habit I want to work on is eating some fruit daily, yesterday I managed an apple.  I need to get a fruit bowl for starters I think and maybe make sure I have some tinned too.  Any other suggestions to ensure I include fruit in my day would be gratefully received. 

I feel so much better than I did towards the back end of last week, moms moods and behaviour obviously influence mine and I've also got the same emotions and mood changes that every woman in her 50s has because of their hormones.  My hot flushes are out in force lately, my glasses actually steamed up whilst I was out walking Alfie.   

I've caved and ordered a vacuum cleaner, opted for a Hettie as opposed to Henry, pink, red I don't care what colour it is but for some reason she was cheaper than him and they're both exactly the same except for the colour, another example of where a female does exactly the same thing as a man for less money! ;) 

That's due to arrive today then I plan to vacuum throughout, it's a dirty job but someones got to do it.  

Food wise yesterday I tried these; 

They're vegan and they were okay, but for 2SP each, I'm not so sure, I'd rather have a chicken breast with 2SP worth of chorizo, I know that's not vegan but neither am I nor is the fox because the leftover ones were still in the dish outside this morning, Alfie ate a couple though.  I had chips, peas and gravy for my tea with a cob, it was immense, I had some of those onions and peppers with it too.  

Now it's no surprise I gained weight on the scales this morning, 2lb on, I have no issue with that if I'm honest, I haven't been following the plan properly so I can't expect results.  I did get out the WW programme material yesterday, did a video in my group refreshing everyone on how MyWW works and the difference between the 3 plans so that we could all draw a line and get ourselves back on track.

I know when I pay attention to my needs as well as moms I feel better, it isn't always possible to do that all the time but as long as I ground myself regularly I'll be okay.  We're out of complete lockdown now so the worst is over, hopefully we won't go back into those conditions but I'm afraid even if we do, I will have my sister round as she's moms carer and I can't do it 24/7 without it damaging my health.  

Yeah, suns shining, I'm off for a walk with my bestie this morning and all is good in the world again.  When you realise it's okay to be happy, sad or any other emotion and that they won't last forever, it's easier to handle this life we have.  We wouldn't be given the ability to feel so many emotions if we weren't supposed to at some time.  

Today I'm grateful for having my Alfie back behaving like a puppy again and playing, I'm grateful for my sister helping me take care of my mom so I can have some respite and I'm grateful for my bestie putting me up towards the top of her priority list.  I'm also grateful for all the offers of help and messages of concern - it's good to know people care and I matter to them.  

But most of all (only joking) I'm grateful for my online shopping delivery slots, I'm just about to go and order some healthy stuff to come tomorrow, I'm going to bear in mind lots of food serves more than 1 so that I don't go crazy with my order.  Ooo and I've just had a fancying for Nigellas chicken and peas dish, hold on I'll find the recipe for ya because it's really, really low in points.   Found it, will post at the end of blog, you could adapt it and use breasts I guess, I reckon I could adapt it and make a one person version, that's what I need to do with a lot of things. 

Here's to having a good day, oh it's bank holiday Monday too isn't it, plus it's national BBQ week if you're a fan, looks like perfect BBQ weather and you can do that in your own back yard.  Whatever you do today, enjoy x

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx




CHICKEN AND PEA TRAYBAKE

by Nigella. Featured in AT MY TABLE

Feeds 4, 11SP or 17SP per serving

What’s key here is the size of the roasting tin. I wouldn’t go any smaller – measuring from inside rim to inside rim – than about 38 x 28cm / 15 x 11inches (a little larger is fine) as there needs to be space around the chicken thighs for the magic to happen.

900 grams frozen petits pois 0SP or 21SP

400 grams trimmed leeks (cut into approx. 3cm / 1 inch slices

2 fat cloves garlic (peeled and minced)

4 x 15ml tablespoons dry white vermouth or wine 3SP

2 tablespoons regular olive oil 9SP (plus more for drizzling – I'd not bother with this!)

2 teaspoons sea salt flakes (plus more for sprinkling)

1 small bunch fresh dill (torn into pieces)

8 chicken thighs with skin on and bone in 42SP

METHOD

Preheat the oven to 200°C/180°C Fan/400°F and clatter the frozen peas into a large roasting tin, followed by the leeks, garlic, vermouth, 2 tablespoons of oil, 2 teaspoons of sea salt flakes and most of the dill. Turn everything together in the pan – breaking up any large clumps of the frozen peas – until well mixed. I advise you to wear CSI gloves for this, just to stop you getting frostbite, though you still will feel the cold.

Arrange the chicken thighs, skin-side up, on top, then drizzle them with a little olive oil and give them a good sprinkling of sea salt flakes, before roasting in the oven for 45 minutes. Remove from the oven, give the peas a small stir or tamp down, so that the few that are sitting on the surface and drying out a little are submerged in the liquid. Don’t do the same to the leeks, however, as the bits that are peeking out will become desirably caramelised in the heat. Put back in the oven for a further 30 minutes, by which time the peas and leeks will be soft, and the chicken tender and cooked through, its skin golden and crisp.

Tear off the remaining dill fronds, and scatter over the top on serving, perhaps with some simply steamed new potatoes to soak up the pea and chicken juices.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

MAKE AHEAD / STORE:
Refrigerate leftovers, within 2 hour of cooking, in an airtight container for up to 3 days. Reheat in a saucepan or microwave until piping hot all the way through.

If you prefer, you can use light chicken stock in place of the vermouth or wine.

Coronacoaster, dementia drain - enough already now!

Sunday 24th May 2020 
The only constant in life is change

Regardless of what's going on in my life, I almost always get out of bed with a positive head, I didn't this morning.  I actually had a thick head which didn't help, not just from wine but from not taking care of myself by eating well either.  I struggled to do my half hour yoga, Alfie must have realised because he lay on the mat and made it even more difficult, giving me the excuse I needed to tweak a few moves and make them easier.  I ended by sitting quietly in my thoughts and shedding a few tears.  Usually I then come and blog but again my little saviour come and stood by me and started pawing me for a walk, so that's what we did instead and I used that time to zone out, listen to my audio book whilst playing Candy Crush and putting my 'life' to the side for a bit.  The fresh air, the sight of the starlings having a field day on the grass, the trees, the fresh air, the peace and quiet worked it's magic and as the image above shows, I went from waking up today thinking, 'this is just getting worse' to 'I can see this is getting more difficult but that's okay, I have support, I am strong, this won't last forever'.  

So many people are experiencing difficult emotions right now, I smiled yesterday when I saw a post from a fellow coach who used the word CORONACOASTER, it made me smile, it describes how so many of us are feeling, the ups and downs of the pandemic.  One day we're loving our down time, doing workouts, baking cakes, the next we're crying, drinking wine for breakfast and missing people we don't even like! 

I've realised in addition to the coronacoaster, I'm in danger of going down the dementia drain.  I'm not willing to do that though, so I'm going to do everything in my power to take care of me too. 

That's why I made myself stay on that yoga mat for 30 minutes. 

It's why today I'm going to clean the house, because it will get me active and take my mind off the fact I'm stuck sat next to a mom who's changing daily staring at a tv screen that no longer has anything on worth watching or that we haven't already seen.  

It's why I'm going to add mediation to my yoga practice, I will stay on the mat for an extra 10 minutes at least and meditate.  For those who fancy joining the WW guided Meditation this morning at 9:30am, access is via Healthy Body, Healthy Mind connect group on your app.

It's why I have arranged for my sister to sit with mom whilst I enjoy two long walks with V next week to get me out  and in some good company.

It's why I'm going to start taking care of me and realising that taking care of me doesn't mean treating myself to lots of nice food that ends up making me feel yucky because my stomach can't handle it!  

I'm working this morning, I'm support for Amy in the Stafford WW group and I'm going to use that to motivate me to be a proper WWer this week, if you want to get back on track, start tracking properly.  I'm going back to basics, I've even got my WW programme material out!  I'm 50 I don't want to feel 60, so I need to take back my power and be the strong woman my mom bought me up to be.  

How you surviving lockdown and life in general?  Is there something you could do today to make yourself feel better or help you move in the direction you need to go?  

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx 

Pay all this kindness forward

Saturday 23rd May 2020 
The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on.

At the moment 'kind' is the buzz word, all over social media, people are saying 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind', kindness is also the theme for the mental health awareness week but what does it mean to be kind?  How can you be kind?  Every one agrees that kindness is what we all need right now but are we doing it?  Or are people just thinking it just means not being cruel, not saying mean things on social media, how are people 'being kind'? 

Kindness is about genuinely caring for others around you, wanting the best for them, it's also important to remember that you are a person who deserves kindness too. We can all find ways of being a little kinder, even if we're stuck in lockdown, alone and unable to get out - we still have access to telephones and the internet where you can be in contact with others and stay connected with friends and family or even make new friends who are themselves lonely.

Want some ideas of how you can make a difference and be kind, show you care?  Here you go; 

Call a friend you haven't spoken to for a while.

Tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them.  If you're reading this sis, I love and appreciate you so much, thank you for yesterday, for coming round without hesitation and easing the tension for at least half hour, who knew one day we'd be so close looking back to how we were as kids lol! 

Arrange to have a cup of tea and a virtual catch up with someone you know - if you aren't savvy with zoom, you can actually video chat with messenger on Facebook.

Send a motivational message or a joke to a friend who is struggling or even a friend who lives alone and is in lockdown and unable to get out a lot.  

If you're in a house with others, make them a cuppa (or get them to make you one!) give your pets a good fuss, they're being ignored by a lot of people right now because of fear of coronavirus! 

If you're financially able, donate to food banks or charity, offer to send someone a takeaway or a meal, offer support to anyone who you know needs ot. 

Sometimes kindness is just lending your ear to someone who needs to offload, or giving praise to someone who's doing a great job.

I'm a big fan of paying it forward, so if someone does you a good turn, you pay it forward at another time to someone else, we shouldn't be kind to some in order for them to be kind back to us, or for us to get something out of the situation, we should be kind because it's a good way to behave.  There's nothing lovelier than a random act of kindness, and paying it forward keeps those acts going.  I've had many lovely people be kind to me over the last few months and I believe it's because I try to do good things when I can.  I haven't been able to get out but I have been able to be supportive online, I'm crocheting a blanket at the moment for someone in the spirit of paying it forward, I've also done a few I can raffle off to fundraise for the NHS when we finally get back to workshops.  

Why have I chose to not talk about my day yesterday in my blog, oh well because I'd had enough of yesterday before I went to bed, I sure as hell don't wanna go back and re live it nor do I want you to have to listen to it all but the good thing is we survived it ;) it's Saturday, I get to catch up with all my lovely members this morning at 9.45 on my virtual workshop (link in Wolverhampton Connect group, on from 9.15 for check-ins and chat) that'll set me up for the day for sure.

Oh we did watch a couple of lovely films yesterday, now to remember what they were called!  Troop Zero, on amazon prime, a lovely feel good film, and Apple Mortgage cake, based on a true story and again really enjoyable.  See yesterday wasn't a complete nightmare, just mostly lol, I just wished I could do something to ease her suffering, her frustration and confusion, I really do. 

Hey ho, here's to a world that's hopefully getting kinder by the day and will continue to do so when all this is over.  I really hope people stay safe this Bank Holiday weekend, I've seen too much sadness from the loss of loved ones already and I would hate for it to all fire up again because of a bit of sunshine and a bank holiday Monday need to get out.  Stay local, if you want to get out, walk round the block, look up the sky will be the same wherever you are and the sky is incredible, no matter how many clouds are up there, you always know there's a blue sky behind them.

Here's to a safe weekend, take care of you and take care of others if you're able too.

Mwah, luv ya 


Love me xx 

Friday again!

Friday 22nd May 2020
So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.

Well the rains cooled it down and freshened up the air this morning here, I'm going to enjoy a chilled out day with mom hopefully, I've just enjoyed an hours yoga, day 17 of the 30 days of home yoga with Adriene and then I did a half hour yoga for the feet, I enjoyed that one, got a foot massage in the bargain, albeit done by myself but hey, needs must.  I'm gonna have a sausage bap for breakfast, I've been told the Richmond meat free ones are amazing, so I'll let you know.  They can't be worse than this stuff was yesterday, Smoky Vacon rashers, yak and repeated on me, even though I only ate a bit because it was horrible.  Shame really because their burgers were bang on, hey ho, don't try don't know.  But then again the sausages might have to wait as I need to look at use by dates on other stuff. 

No workshops today, my day off in theory but I might do some work this morning if mom snoozes, I've got to get next weeks notes sorted before Sunday as I'm support on Sunday.

This weeks workshops have been interesting and they've encouraged me to drink more water for sure, I've already drunk my morning pint and I'd almost drunk a pint in the night as I woke up a lot and every time I wake up I usually have a sip or two of water.

I'm that chilled from my yoga my heads empty of things to say, I'm sat here at my desk, crossed legs - that's not a new thing, I've always sat like a little yogi at my desk, healthy and safety used to tell me off all the time for it when I worked in an office - looking out the window and watching the clouds roll over, quite quickly actually,

Yeah can't see me getting much done today other than crochet and tele, hoping moms in a manageable mood!  But you never know, after I've walked Alfie, I might have a burst of energy and get stuff done, we shall see.

I can't believe it's a bank holiday weekend, all these weeks are blurring into each other, we used to go away a lot in May when I was an office worker, because I'd have the bank holidays and have to use less of my annual leave allowance, the good old days, when I used to have holidays lol, actually for now it's the same for all of us isn't it, quite bizarre seeing people putting posts of where they would've been going on holiday, thankfully they've got their money back at least.

Right, here's to enjoying the day knowing it is a bank holiday weekend and treating it as such, weather forecast is good for Sunday and Monday so you can enjoy it in the garden hopefully!  I'm gonna have to go because I can see from the camera, moms in need of company before she goes to the dark place.

Enjoy your day, make sure you take a little time out for yourself, my yoga is mine and my dog walk, even when it's not very long or we don't go very far!  If you're struggling to stay within your SmartPoints and be a perfect WWer, do the best you can, make wiser choices and give yourself a break.

Mwah, luv ya


Love me

& I'm feeling good...

Thursday 21st May 2020
Self care is how you take your power back!

Not practising what I preach this morning, cheating and enjoying the best mug of tea ever and I'ave only drunk half my usual pint of water, I will drink the rest though promise.  I've just had a wonderful yoga session, then did a 10 minute meditation, then because I was up well before 5 as mom got up I decided to do this 10 minute yoga for the shoulders again, I did it the other day and seriously it really does loosen up my shoulders it's brilliant.  https://youtu.be/X3-gKPNyrTA

I'm all set up for my day now!  Yesterday was a very good day with mom, she got up a lot more lucid than she has been, she apologised and we had a chat and I told her she didn't need to but it was nice to hear and it was lovely when she told me I could be a psychiatrist because I'd talked her round the night before bless her.   My sister come round at 9 and I went for a 2 hour walk with V through the fields, that was amazing, normally I'll take loads of photos when walking but yesterday I just wanted to breathe it all in and enjoy a good natter, it was just what the doctor ordered.  I couldn't wait to get in the shower when I got back to ease my sore feet, but they're good this morning thankfully.  My yoga is making such a difference to my body, my wrists and ankles seem a lot stronger than they usually are.  The walk did take its toll on my ankle but it was worth it, it really was.

Anne said mom had slept most of the time she was there which was a bonus, then she slept for a couple more hours when I got back, I think she needed that sleep because she was much better the rest of the day as was I for having had a break away from it all.  I can't tell you how much I've missed the outdoors, nature, trees, fields, grass, cows, just all of it, the clouds as you look out across a field as see the green fields spread out in front of you and the sky above, we saw a buzzard as well, my second favourite bird after the heron, actually almost equal first place because they are so big and always remind me of country lanes that I've driven so often with mom.

I enjoyed an English Breakfast Muffin for breakfast yesterday with scrambled eggs and tomatoes, really enjoyed it, Warburton muffin was 4SP and delicious for a change.  I had an M&S pizza for my tea and from memory not a great deal in between, may have succumbed to one of mom's chocolate fingers but it was only one, cross my heart! Ah I've just checked, I had some strawberries, banana and an apple for my lunch when I got back from my walk.  I've always been weird like that, the more activity I do, the less I want to eat!

Last nights workshop was another corker, I'm loving seeing all my regulars, seeing members I haven't seen for a while because they moved away so couldn't get to my workshops, it's easier to visit virtually and to people I've never met before, I like meeting new people and WW people are always the best people!

I've got two more to look forward to today, 8.30 and 10.30 in the Dudley and Walsall connect group on WW app, hope to see lots of you, if you're having problems working it all out or you've never used zoom before, get in touch, I can help you, I'd hate to think you weren't coming on and catching up because of the technology side of it all.

It's gonna be another warm one today, not quite as warm as yesterday, it was a scorcher though yesterday for sure, I was so hot in my little office on my virtual with the window closed, there was a lot of noise going on outside!  I could actually hear a garden party that was going on in the next street and there was no way they were practicing social distancing with whoever was there!

I'm having Spaghetti Carbonara today, it'll be high on Smart Points but it'll be lunch/dinner again and I'm working on my sanity not the scales at the moment, healthy and happy, hopefully at some point weight loss will become a side effect.  I know not being as active is stopping me burning a lot of calories that I would easily burn in 'normal' life so I'm doing what I can, when I can with what I got.

Here's to having the best possible day, and in the words of Charlie Mackesy, always remember you matter, you're important and you are loved, and you bring to this world things no one else can.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Mid week walkies

Wednesday 20th May 2020
Be grateful for small things, big things and everything in between.

Yesterday I had a lovely message from someone who had read my blog and was worried that I sounded really down. The truth is I'm okay, honest I am - when I'm really struggling, I stop talking about it and that's what you should look out for in your loved ones! Lockdown is hard for so many, actually life without lockdown comes with it's own challenges doesn't it.  Please pay attention and notice those friends that have gone quiet, I'm lucky because I'm open about what's happening in my world, I'm loud and I don't worry about being judged, I'm happy to share, I'm an open book, but not everyone is. Be aware and take care of you & those you love xx. I'm touched that people care, I've had another message this morning but honestly I'm good, surprisingly so actually, to say I've been locked up for 2 months with mom, but I promise if and when I'm not I will ask for help. 

Now to tell you all about my exciting life - NOT, lol.  Yesterday Alfie went to the vets, they took swabs and X-rays and biopsy's etc and they'll get the results back to me as soon as the can but at the moment it's taking up to 5 days because of lockdown, bless him he's sleeping behind me on the floor right now, he hasn't managed to eat since yesterday, I got him to eat a little bit of dog pate last night which helped me get a painkiller into him.  Here's hoping it's treatable, apparently a dog can manage without 1/3rd of his tongue - I bloody hope he doesn't have to! 

Thanks to my members using my online commission code I7IA5I when ordering from the WW online shop, I'll have enough money in my wages this month to treat myself to some nice food (it's my one true pleasure these days - I'm not embarrassed to admit that) and how excited was I to finally get a online delivery from Waitrose for next Tuesday, I'll be treating myself to a few things, not loads obviously but I have favourites from there that I can't get any where else, it doesn't work out any more expensive than shopping anywhere else when you're only feeding one, they £10 meal deal - two mains and two sides does me for 6 meals usually as I have the sides as a main ;) and then they do a 3 for £10 offer too which have some delicious choices.  

This was my treat for this week from M&S, I'm so lucky to have people doing my shopping for me when I can't get to these stores.  Southern Fried Wholefry chicken £7 and 9SP a 1/4 working from the nutritional info, so that 36SP total but there's two chicken breasts in there so that's 4SP I'd take off being on Blue (I know making my own rules up as I go along but I'm a member too not just a coach) there was also the soggy coating on the underside that the fox thanked me for so that's a few more points that weren't eaten.  It was delicious though, sadly I'd hoped to share it with Alfie but he just couldn't be tempted, I'd diced the pieces really small, so again either the fox or the cat which ever got there first was very impressed!  I've got a bit left to make a cob with this morning nom nom. 

Mom had a mixed day, my sister sat with her whilst I worked which was so good, it's so much better working without having to worry about her.  Vicky sat on the front garden and chatted to us which broke up the day, mom didn't stay and talk for long but she still enjoyed it, she likes V and told me over and over again for a good hour after she'd gone.  She likes that V talks to her as well as me 💕 see she still notices these things!  Later on though once she started sundowning, oh my days, we had quite the evening, she wasn't sleeping in that 'attic' I'd made her sleep in the night before, it took me ages to convince her I hadn't, I even went and took photos of her bedroom and the view from her window.  She then spent ages talking about when she tried to commit suicide as a teenager, my dads death, my miscarriage and all the other really miserable crap that happened in her life, I so wished she'd focus on the good things that have happened.

She's woke up this morning apologising for treating me like shit and saying she doesn't want to ruin my life too but tried to explain that she thinks about ways to die, not because she's suicidal but because she's scared all the time and doesn't know why.  You wouldn't want to be in that head would you!  I know this Covid-19 is a dreadful disease but so is Alzheimers and many other cruel diseases.  

I'm going for a walk today with my mate, how fab is that!  Yeah FREEDOM lol, then I've got the workshop tonight to look forward too, they're getting better and better, yesterday mornings was great, I love that I'm meeting members I haven't seen before, I know I've said that before but its true, for someone who's a little anti social in my personal life, I love meeting people in the WW world.

Right, I'm going to go get washed and dressed because yoga was a bit sweaty this morning, then I'm gonna see if Alfie is up for a walk, just checked on mom, she's snoozing in her chair. Oh how about that, he must be psychic because he's stood up and is staring, that means walks.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love xx